7 Reasons not to move in with a female. College humor article.

Joined Jan 4, 2009
1.) Farts. Yes, everybody does it -- but girls really shouldn’t. She’ll let out a little toot, thinking it’s cute. It will smell like pungent hate. TIP: Nip this in the bud before she makes a habit of it by throwing up on her face the first very time she farts.

2.) Shaving. You’ll realize that female maintenance ain’t so simple. Girls grow more hair than you think. Every time your lady shaves her cooter, it will look like Chewbacca had chemotherapy in your bathtub.TIP: Realize that Wookies can’t get cancer and I’m exaggerating the actual amount of hair she has. (Unless you're Monique's husband. Have you seen her hairy legs? Great Googly Moogly!)

3.) Arguments. They will happen early and often in the co-habitation process so be forewarned. Whether it’s because you drank the last of the milk or you came home smelling like stripper boobies, she’ll find something to be angry about. You won’t win and have no chance so surrender before escalation. TIP: In the event that surrendering doesn’t work and she continues being malicious, buy a Kit Kat Bar, throw it in her face and tell her to give you a goddamn break. 

4.) Television. No more ESPN for you, bucko. Instead of keeping up with your beloved sports teams, you’ll find yourself Keeping Up With The Kardashians. TIP: Stop being a beeyotch, take that remote from her and tell her to get her Lifetime Movie Network fix elsewhere.

5.) Future. She’ll spend hours involving you in a discussion about the hypothetical future that you two will share. In this theoretical future, you own a house and she’ll talk about what color theme you should have in the bathroom of that house. Be prepared to make the difficult decision between a relaxing pewter or a pleasant custard. TIP: Tell her you’d prefer the “Who Gives a $*%+ Brown
Joined Aug 1, 2005
as sad as it is to say, these guys are poking fun, but it has a ring of truth to all these things.....
Joined Feb 1, 2005
"You may as well join the US Olympic Swim Team because you’ll only be getting your penis wet about once every four years. "

Joined Jan 7, 2005
Wouldn't the olympic swimming reference be drastically wrong though? You'd be getting wet every day since you'd be training. 

Maybe i'm focused on the wrong part of the article...


Joined Sep 25, 2008
honetly i could deal with just about all of this except the TV one.

im an easy-going person, i really am, but if there's something on that i really wanna watch, im watching it.
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