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- Jan 8, 2006
I have nothing against the PS3, just found it on another site and thought this was funny.
Look at those Xbox fanboys bicker online. Pitiful creatures. They whine, and they moan, and they cling to a lie:that the Xbox 360 can possibly compare tothe PLAYSTATION 3 .
Just reading their mindless drivel makes you want to put them out of their misery - and out of yours.
And there's no better way to shut down an Xbox fan than with the icy cold knife of logic. Join with us today, andlearn the secrets of true wisdom: how to be a PS3 Fanboy.
First, let's review the four most important rules of fanboy debate:
1. You're not just a consumer, you're a member of a community - a family. When someone insults your console,it's like they're calling your mum a slag. Don't take insults to your honour lying down! Band with your brothers, and punish those Xboxinfidels!
2. Always take an authoritative tone. This doesn't just work in arguments. A knack for sounding like you know whatyou're talking about is how our nation's most incompetent journalists, scientists, and politicians have clung to their jobs for so long.
3. Use rhetoric. Don't simply say 'Xbox owners arelosers.' Say: 'What kind of a loser would buy an Xbox?' Rhetoric helped Hitler rise to the top, and it can work for you too!
4. Always be on the offensive - and always BE offensive. Most folks are sensitive, cowardly, and plagued byself-doubt. It may simply take an insult or two to shut them down.
Once you've got the rules down pat, here are some handy phrases for arguing up a storm:
Xbot - This is your standard put-down. It implies that an Xbox fan has no will of his own, and is instead just amindless robot. Probably programmed by Bill Gates himself, to teabag noobs, and kill babies. Calling someone an X-bot will force him to challenge his receivedwisdom. 'Do I really believe what I'm saying? Or am I just repeating what I've been told? My god - my life is a lie!' If the use of this killerinsult makes someone give up and stop arguing with you online, then you know for certain they're wallowing in despair, crying like the big sook he/sheis!
RROD - We'll deal with this one in detail shortly, but remember to work it in every chance you get. LOL RROD,ROFL RROD, OMG RROD, etc, etc. Given the frequency of Xbox console malfunctions, don't be surprised if you witness a Red Ring of Death system failure rightin the middle of your flame war. Once an X-bot has had to face the shame of running for the fire extinguisher, with barely the time to type BRB RROD, could heever dare to return to the console wars again? Somehow, we doubt it.
...and there you have it. Armed with these tools - armed with the TRUTH - you'll be able to thrash any Xbox fanyou meet. Remember to be gracious in victory. Or not. This is the [color= rgb(255, 255, 255)]internet[/color], after all. You can do whatever you want!
Look at those Xbox fanboys bicker online. Pitiful creatures. They whine, and they moan, and they cling to a lie:that the Xbox 360 can possibly compare tothe PLAYSTATION 3 .
Just reading their mindless drivel makes you want to put them out of their misery - and out of yours.
And there's no better way to shut down an Xbox fan than with the icy cold knife of logic. Join with us today, andlearn the secrets of true wisdom: how to be a PS3 Fanboy.
First, let's review the four most important rules of fanboy debate:
1. You're not just a consumer, you're a member of a community - a family. When someone insults your console,it's like they're calling your mum a slag. Don't take insults to your honour lying down! Band with your brothers, and punish those Xboxinfidels!
2. Always take an authoritative tone. This doesn't just work in arguments. A knack for sounding like you know whatyou're talking about is how our nation's most incompetent journalists, scientists, and politicians have clung to their jobs for so long.
3. Use rhetoric. Don't simply say 'Xbox owners arelosers.' Say: 'What kind of a loser would buy an Xbox?' Rhetoric helped Hitler rise to the top, and it can work for you too!
4. Always be on the offensive - and always BE offensive. Most folks are sensitive, cowardly, and plagued byself-doubt. It may simply take an insult or two to shut them down.
Once you've got the rules down pat, here are some handy phrases for arguing up a storm:
Xbot - This is your standard put-down. It implies that an Xbox fan has no will of his own, and is instead just amindless robot. Probably programmed by Bill Gates himself, to teabag noobs, and kill babies. Calling someone an X-bot will force him to challenge his receivedwisdom. 'Do I really believe what I'm saying? Or am I just repeating what I've been told? My god - my life is a lie!' If the use of this killerinsult makes someone give up and stop arguing with you online, then you know for certain they're wallowing in despair, crying like the big sook he/sheis!
RROD - We'll deal with this one in detail shortly, but remember to work it in every chance you get. LOL RROD,ROFL RROD, OMG RROD, etc, etc. Given the frequency of Xbox console malfunctions, don't be surprised if you witness a Red Ring of Death system failure rightin the middle of your flame war. Once an X-bot has had to face the shame of running for the fire extinguisher, with barely the time to type BRB RROD, could heever dare to return to the console wars again? Somehow, we doubt it.
...and there you have it. Armed with these tools - armed with the TRUTH - you'll be able to thrash any Xbox fanyou meet. Remember to be gracious in victory. Or not. This is the [color= rgb(255, 255, 255)]internet[/color], after all. You can do whatever you want!