Any1 here deal with social anxiety/phobia?

[blakep267]

I do, and its starting to wear a little thin with me. Being in a setting like college and interning is the worst for me. I can easily deal with the 1 on 1's with people that I know but the whole public speaking, being out in crowds and talking to strangers is torture. Talking to chicks is a whole 'nother can of worms. I can just force myself to do things like speak in meeting or do class presentations, because I really have no other choice, and I can sort of rationalize it. But with normal interactions are not my strong suit, since I can "flee" without any real consequence. Ex. was at a function and I saw a girl who know sorta( lived in the same dorm a few years ago + black people in college, so you kinda know every1) and I go to say hi, and then I feel the sudden urge to run away just as she kinda starts a conversation. Anyway if any of you guys suffer from this, how do you deal with it.

 

[tony montana]

Damn, thats +%%@!@ up..

You should go to a therapist or something.. Its amazing how some people struggle with the simplest things in the world.

I'm not trying to offend you in anyway or form OP..

 

[jfmartimcdandruff]

public speaking...hate it

OP u seem to put urself out there though, i don't know what the problem is

 

[SHERLOCK87]

Extreme episodes of shyness,.. OP break that shell, some how

 

[teamjordan79]

if u aint about that public speaking life then thats not your thing. Just b/c u don't fit into that mold doesn't mean u have some disorder that needs treatment. People have different innate personalities and they all have their pros and cons. Thats not to say that you cant overcome your fears though. How? By forcing  yourself to speak publicly or getting to know many people until it becomes second nature. But its up to you to decide if you want that.   

 

[blakep267]

Originally Posted by JFMartiMcDandruff

public speaking...hate it

OP u seem to put urself out there though, i don't know what the problem is

I can put myself out there in stuff that i have to do. Like, I cant skip a work meeting or not go to class, and I can converse and interact perfectly fine with people that i actually take time to know. Where as with something like my schools Black Student Union club: I would just not go to it because of being around people I dont know( and for the fact that its boring) or how some people just go and sit in a crowded park all day. I wouldnt do something like that

 

[me no pass]

i suffer from social anxiety...*!$#!*$ sucks bro....talking to girls is horrible yall dont even wanna know

 

[blakep267]

Originally Posted by TeamJordan79

if u aint about that public speaking life then thats not your thing. Just b/c u don't fit into that mold doesn't mean u have some disorder that needs treatment. People have different innate personalities and they all have their pros and cons. Thats not to say that you cant overcome your fears though. How? By forcing  yourself to speak publicly or getting to know many people until it becomes second nature. But its up to you to decide if you want that.   

the public speaking was just 1 example. I do get anxious interacting with new people and pretty much walking down a crowded street. The whole " I wonder if they are looking at me. Do they notice this or that about em" etc
ME NO PASS wrote:

---

i suffer from social anxiety...*!$#!*$ sucks bro....talking to girls is horrible yall dont even wanna know 

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

with me is more or less the "pick up" line thats horrible. I can talk to girls that Ive bee around for a period of time since Ive become sort of accustomed to them, but spittin some "game" or like makin eye contact and then goin and talking to a girl is nearly impossible for me

 

[mrbrown]

Do it more.....

like porn, instead of DL'ing new kinkier sex scenes you will now be less anxious at anxious giving situations

 

[rusty shackelford]

I don't know if it's social anxiety but
Everytime i'm in public I feel people are judging me every where I go

Whether they are looking at me or not

I'm great at public speaking so it's weird

 

[jking0821]

Originally Posted by blakep267

Originally Posted by TeamJordan79

if u aint about that public speaking life then thats not your thing. Just b/c u don't fit into that mold doesn't mean u have some disorder that needs treatment. People have different innate personalities and they all have their pros and cons. Thats not to say that you cant overcome your fears though. How? By forcing  yourself to speak publicly or getting to know many people until it becomes second nature. But its up to you to decide if you want that.   

the public speaking was just 1 example. I do get anxious interacting with new people and pretty much walking down a crowded street. The whole " I wonder if they are looking at me. Do they notice this or that about em" etc
ME NO PASS wrote:

---

i suffer from social anxiety...*!$#!*$ sucks bro....talking to girls is horrible yall dont even wanna know 

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

with me is more or less the "pick up" line thats horrible. I can talk to girls that Ive bee around for a period of time since Ive become sort of accustomed to them, but spittin some "game" or like makin eye contact and then goin and talking to a girl is nearly impossible for me

I think this is hard for 70% of guys though (randomly made up %).  I don't think I have ever gone to a bar and walked up to a random girl and been like "hey, whats up".  Basically it all comes from interaction some how. 

Walk up to get a drink near her, notice something about the current situation and comment on it.  As childish as some of it seems all it takes is something to break the ice.  We have been walking past a group of girls and some one will bump my friend into them slightly they get angry "watch where you are going" step in and apologize "im sorry my friend is sort of clumsy, hi my name is ___"  anything to really get the conversation going.

Everyone says "just put yourself out there" but i know how you feel sometimes OP.  I am constantly afraid of rejection.  Walking up to a random pretty girl and literally trying to start a convo out of thin air is nerve-racking as all hell.  So build confidence another way if that isn't your thing.  Your in college so it should be decently easy you have school in common and classes.  

 

[fog]

We all self-conscious, OP's just the first to admit it

 

[kickstart]

Self-confidence is needed.

Stop trying to game them (girls), problem solved.

There is a reason "be yourself" is stressed.

Finally, make a habit out of interacting with others, as was stated earlier.

With repetition comes comfort and ease.

 

[hazat50]

Man I have the same thing, especially with talking to women and being in public places. I am always quiet and when I was a kid I used daydreaming to cope with social abuse from my school and home. I have been made fun of for beign fat, how I walk and the tone or pitch of my voice. My family does not understand because they all love to tease and think I should just accept it but it is not funny to have your own mother to call you a weirdo when you are young and thinking it all good and fun and laugh at you and get mad when you tell them to stop.

Also, for those who worry about people watching you of feeling like the spot has been put on you, how about that actually happen and have random people you never seen know who you are or people leave, duck and cover, take a different route to go somewhere just because of you. Dude I have been watched and talked about right behind my back when I am in the vicinity by friends, family and people I don't even know. It made me so paranoid that I usually stay in the house but even there I dont feel comfortable. I wish I was not socially akward but I am, I just wish I had someone to mentor me or someone other than a therepist to talk to, but I don't because friends and family will either think I am complaining to much, making a big issue out of a little one or just would strait take me as a joke and laugh it off. I have thought about suicide since I was probable 10 years old and have been drowned in sorrow since then. I just wish I could just be a random face in the crowd and do things with out it being criticized or having people who I have never seen in my life know who I am. I'ts very disgusting I am just annoyed that I could be made into such a villian. I have always tried to be nice to people so no one would bother me. I admit I have made my mistakes and have had my failures especially when you have social phobia's, but to be treated like a leper is overboard especially when you have not commited a crime.

 

[soversotowel]

That feel when you know every feel in this thread

 

[imrichboy]

It's a learned behavior over a long period of time.

 

[mangudai954]

Originally Posted by SoVerSoTowel

That feel when you know every feel in this thread

fuuu

 

[acemaster193]

Ever get the occasional, "Why are you so quiet?"

 

[pjhoody]

I don't have that social anxiety when it comes to interacting with people, but I kind of do have that with public speaking at work. It's not crippling anxiety but I used to get pretty damn nervous leading up to presentations. I still get nervous, actually, although it's a lot better. Preparation is really the best way to deal with it. As long as I'm 100% comfortable with what I'm presenting and have gone over my game plan, I'm good to go. And over time you get more comfortable.

My suggestion for social anxiety would be to just be yourself and to willingly put yourself in the social mix. Girls are your equal, so there is NO reason to be intimidated by them. You'll be surprised how receptive they will be to you.

But this is something mostly everyone goes through, even the overly confident people. They are better at overcoming it.

 

[balloonoboy]

Sometimes you just have to chalk it up to having a type b, introverted personality.

You are putting yourself out there, so in time you'll be able to find that middle ground between hermit and social butterfly.

Everyone feels this way at some point in their lives. Others just cope better than some.

 

[blink]

You might wanna check this site out OP:


www.succeedsocially.com/

 

[sleaze jar omens]

Originally Posted by SoVerSoTowel

That feel when you know every feel in this thread

introverted and I know it.

 

[ricky409]

Lemme break this down in a crisp and clear manner fambs.

Either A. You think people are focusing in on you or B. You worried about being embarrassed or humiliated.

Solution for A. Understand that rarely... RARELY are any dambs given when it cones to you... folks aren't watching you, folks aren't saying "that guy is this or that ". You're just another face, fambs

Solution for B. Get some kind of job where you have to talk to people cuz your money depends on it. Get a commissioned based job at a women's shoe store...

This will give you confidence cuz women HAVE to talk to you...

Once you get confidence (confidence = not giving a damb what people think) you'll be straight!

 

[blakep267]

Originally Posted by ricky409

Lemme break this down in a crisp and clear manner fambs.

Either A. You think people are focusing in on you or B. You worried about being embarrassed or humiliated.

Solution for A. Understand that rarely... RARELY are any dambs given when it cones to you... folks aren't watching you, folks aren't saying "that guy is this or that ". You're just another face, fambs

Solution for B. Get some kind of job where you have to talk to people cuz your money depends on it. Get a commissioned based job at a women's shoe store...

This will give you confidence cuz women HAVE to talk to you...

Once you get confidence (confidence = not giving a damb what people think) you'll be straight!

of course I know people arent watching me, but I still have the anxious feeling when in crowds. Its just how it is for the time being. Ex. I know whenever I give speeches in class, nobody  really cares. i dont even care when other give speeches. but I still get that crazy anxious/nervous feeling when it comes to it. I can rationalize it now, but when Im in the moment I dont think that way.  And the thread really wasnt about women, I was just using that as an example. Its more of dealing with strangers in general
  

Also Im pretty sure part of my anxiety comes from the fact that I used to stutter when I was a kid. So whenever Im speaking to people I get really anxious about not stuttering because I think they'll judge me ( most people dont but there are the a-holes that giggle and laugh) and being so anxious about not doing it, makes me actually stutter. so its like an endless cycle.

 

[speakup23]

Originally Posted by Rusty Shackelford

I don't know if it's social anxiety but
Everytime i'm in public I feel people are judging me every where I go

Whether they are looking at me or not

Same

Originally Posted by kickstart

Self-confidence is needed.

Stop trying to game them (girls), problem solved.

There is a reason "be yourself" is stressed.

Finally, make a habit out of interacting with others, as was stated earlier.

With repetition comes comfort and ease.

Great advice