Cherish the time with your father..

[taymane23]

I was talking with my dad the other day and I could tell life is weighing him down Imma give that mane a call.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by seasoned vet

[h2]

Cherish the time with your father..

[/h2]

no.
 
 
.....kudos to you brother, but nah man. @!*@ dude.
 
 



I don't know your situation but it is always easier to just say !#+$ dude and not try and make it work. Folks need a second chance man. If you were him I am sure you would want your son to try and meet you half way.

Again, I know I don't know half of the story.

 

[seasoned vet]

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Originally Posted by seasoned vet

[h2]

Cherish the time with your father..

[/h2]

no.
 
 
.....kudos to you brother, but nah man. @!*@ dude.
 
 

I don't know your situation but it is always easier to just say !#+$ dude and not try and make it work. Folks need a second chance man. If you were him I am sure you would want your son to try and meet you half way.

Again, I know I don't know half of the story.




 
....i know. however unlike most mine isnt an old story, something i cant let go, this one is an ongoing problem.
 
- no one likes a compulsive liar, someone with selective memory when it comes to their wrong-doings, or a 30, 40 or 50 year old that cant get his responsibilities in order because mommy and daddy still pay his bills for him/her..................my pops is all 3.
 
- im the oldest of 7 siblings, the youngest being 4, my pops is over 50 wont get 'fixed' and says he's not done

 
- i have a 13 year old sister that my father calls fat and stupid to her face on a daily basis. when confronted about this his response was
HIM: why are you telling people that im calling her fat to her face?
ME: because you do.
HIM: when?
ME: *goes into detail as to when i seen/heard it*
HIM: oh man, she didnt hear me
ME: *goes into detail as to how i know she heard him*
HIM: well, i dont do it all the time though
ME: *goes into detail on how often it happens*
HIM: it dont even effect her like you think it does
ME:

 okay bruh...
 
- my grandfather is a barber/beautician also an owner of a beauty supply store, in business for 40+ years. he's 85+ years old and going through alziehmers. you know how sometimes alziehmers patients forget that they've eaten? my pops plays with his meals and makes fun of his condition to customers when they come in to get haircuts (my father is also a barber).
 
- as a freshman in highschool my pops brought home a new wife. he told us she was 23, turns out the chick was 17 and a HS dropout, even had a few classes with my cousin at the same HS we both attended that year. (straight up Bill and Ted steez)
 
- my pops is afraid of dark skinned black people. he uesd to try and teach me that they cant be trusted, to stay away from them and i KNOW he's teaching the same things to my siblings as we speak.
 
 
...and thats just off the top of my head. i plan on writing a book.  
 
 
 
.....before the school year started, the wife reminded me that we need to get my son school clothes for the year. i thought about it and said "how about we dont, then wait till he's an adult and blame it all on him"

 

. she hit me with the

 
 
...but im at peace with it though. he is who he is and at 50+ years old with an enabler for a mother he's never going to change, and im cool with that. just dont expect me to smile in your face or call and chop it up with him like everything is everything.
 
- scum is scum PERIOD. and my stance really isnt about fathers, its more about not letting ANYONE, family or otherwise treat you like crap and give them a pass just because of the label they've been given. i'm a firm believer that alot of stress, heartache, and bad feelings come from us not being able to distance ourselves from family members that dont deserve to be apart of our lives.
 
 


 
     

 

[mondaynightraw]

Originally Posted by seasoned vet

[h2]

Cherish the time with your father..

[/h2]

no.
 
 
.....kudos to you brother, but nah man. @!*@ dude.
 
 



x2

 

[sc415]

Damn, man that's a touching story. I can say that, as an adult now I value all that my dad did for us. We came from living in a one room apt to a better lifestyle. I feel bad, cause they're would be times when I wouldn't help him out when he needed us. He has always been there for us.

 

[gaseousfashion]

Makes me want to show my dad more love.

You never really know what you got 'til it's gone.

 

[luong1209]

Always appreciated my pops.
The #%* whoopings hurt, but I definitely realize it was out of love.

 

[Humbled]

damn. deep post.

 me and my pops are close as hell. ima chill with him all day tomorrow because of this thread. 

 

[baik]

seasoned vet wrote:

[h2][/h2]


 
- scum is scum PERIOD. and my stance really isnt about fathers, its more about not letting ANYONE, family or otherwise treat you like crap and give them a pass just because of the label they've been given. i'm a firm believer that alot of stress, heartache, and bad feelings come from us not being able to distance ourselves from family members that dont deserve to be apart of our lives.  
AMEN

 

[uptownsdotnetstacky]

Originally Posted by SonOfTony

love my pops man. thats my !%+@@

This....good post OP

 

[mecks]

Sigh. While your response makes me think. I don't think I'm at that stage yet.

My father was a deadbeat, when i was young (ages 1-5) but then he turned to god, and the church,everything was on the come up. While he was not the best father, he was there for me when i needed him, as best he could be. To show the extent of the kind of, i want to say uneducated father he was, i remember getting bullied by the neighbors kids. Then when i told my dad, he was like "either you fight back, or ill beat your $!* " and then proceeding to beat the hell out of me. While looking back on it, i can see what he was trying to accomplish, i think we can all agree, doing this to an 8 year old kid is not exactly the right method to use to bring out courage.

Anyways, while my father was in the church, i saw him every other weekend, my mother had sole custody, and she could cancel these visits whenever she wanted to. It really got to the point where i loved my father so much id fight with my mom just to have him pick me up and take me to school, or spend time with him after school until he was off work. He then remarried, and he was basicly the kind of person i wanted to be. Although he had his flaws, i saw how the church had made him a better person, and i felt like , this is a man i want to emulate.

At the age of 16, i was finally getting used to having my father around and everything, which was when, he decided to leave the church, and his wife, and chase some other woman. I was fine with it, i really was, until he started to act like a teenager. When i would go to visit him, hed drop me off at his house, to go be with his new girl. Id be at the house by myself, while he was off chasing cat. I grew to resent him. This was made worse by the fact that he started to drink and do drugs again, with complete disregard to his health, and the family members he was affecting. he went from my role model, to just another man. The real turning point for me, came , when he showed up to my job and asked all my co-workers for me, then when he found me he said "AHHAHAH MECKS , GUESS WHAT! IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW PFFFT AHHAHAHAHAHAHA, I GOT SOME GOOD %*** " i just couldn't respect this man anymore. After this, i stopped wanting to see him, and he hardly noticed. i didn't care for him anymore. in my hear i feel betrayed, while i am more understanding now, that i may have glorified him a little too much, and that lead to my drastic change in opinion of him, it doesnt change the fact that he had told me "youll always come first" but then neglected me when i needed him most (from 15-18 i was couch hopping, living on the streets, just a rough period for me) i remember asking him if i could move in with him, and his first response was "how much rent are you going to give me, i think you're going to need a second job"

so as i said, while i have come to terms with this, and no longer hate him, i hate the man he has become. And while i do care for him, i dont feel the need to have him in my life anymore. thats just how it is. i may live to regret this one day, but at this moment i feel like this is the way it has to be.

 

[trunks206]

Originally Posted by wohcttank

I wish i was able to have my father around and in my life. He passed when i was 4, collapsed outside of my bedroom after he came to check on my sleeping. Itheres been a huge void in my life, even though my mom is the most amazing person in the world. There are so many things that i would give anything in the world for to be able experience things with him, especially my wedding day next year.

Damn man you and I have a pretty similar story. My dad passed away when I was 9 suddenly one night because his heart gave out. (he had zero signs of anything wrong I was told) I think I have really repressed that whole situation and I haven't really dealt with his passing correctly. Like you I am sooooo thankful to have the most amazing mother in the world though. Best of luck with your wedding and hopefully you get to experience everything you wish you had growing up with a son of your own one day and the good is fulfilled. Stay up man.

 

[thapointguy]

My father is hard headed and stubborn but he worked hard to provide for us. Doesn't have much to say but he is there for us. He is retired and stays home but barely speaks several words a day. We do our own thing. I guess i'll try to make an effort to initiate a convo with him or take him out to lunch. Old folks need love and have someone to talk to. I don't want to have to have any regrets when he is no longer here. Inspiring post OP.

 

[DonRafa]

Damn, really makes me thing about the relationship with my dad

 

[atlien seeko]

Damn. That was deep. I have to come back and really touch on this tomorrow...

 

[realtalkaz]

.....yo my pops is the realest dude i know...truly blessed to be raised by a dude who came from nothing but made it and has ridiculous amounts of knowledge

 

[ducky quack]

I've never had a good relationship with my dad (parents divorced when I was 7 I believe, I am 25 now), and I have always sided with my mom. I did see my dad once in a while and I'd say the only reason me and him are not close, is because of the HUGE language barrier. I can barely speak any Vietnamese while my dad is full blown with just about no English.

So while I want to spend time with him, all of the times are not meaningful to me, because we can't talk or relate to anything. It is mostly quiet and us just eating or something like that.

 

[danikerhino]

I love my dad and try to hang out with him as much as I can. He survived so many asthma attacks that I've grown not to take him for granted. My girl doesn't have a real father though, but her step-father is great and I try to be a shoulder to lean on when she needs it. I notice she can really be sensitive, needy, and emotional sometimes so I gotta keep reminding myself what she went through. With that being said, she's a great person and I don't know if I would be as strong as she is if I was put through that situation growing up.

 

[cash is clay]

    WHAT???? All this tear in my eye crap and this guy is still alive ? no disrespect to you or your pops man but horrible story. Man up OP people can be found but once theyre dead there dead and gone atleast you got to say goodbye bruh not all of us get to do that. People are findable even in mexico cut that cryin %*#* out be grateful you seen dude.