Funny pick up lines that don't work.

[passmethesoysauce]

*Guy approaches a girl at a club*

Guy- Do you want to dance?
Girl- I have a boyfriend.
Guy- I have 3 gold fishes.
Girl- Huh? What?
Guy- I'm sorry. I thought we were talking about things that don't matter.

wait, there's more....

Guy- Do you want to dance?
Girl- No.
Guy- I'm sorry, but you didn't hear me correctly. I said you look fat in those pants.

Anyone ever tried any silly pick up lines on random girls at the club or bar?

 

[denzelsausageton]

"I've built up and immunity to mace, I hope you haven't done the same for chloroform" - Me -

 

[hieu23]

the first one 

 

[jpioneer]

"Sit on my sword."

I actually know a guy who tried this. The girl was all over him at first but she didn't sit on the sword so

 

[seniosoul]

this aint actually a pick up line but i said this to my girl while we were eating and watching a movie.

I was eating a southern style chicken sandwhich from mcdonalds.
My girls asked me what I was eating and I said a bigmac
She said, "no it's not" and I said, "I know, this what bigmacs eat though"

 

[baltimore]

Guy- Pardon me miss, I dont mean to be rude. But do ya suck balls?

Girl- Excuse me!?

Guy- Miss relax you didnt even let me finish. Do ya suck these balls (show balls)

Girl- Oh my god those balls are as smooth as eggs... yes ill suck them


Ive played this scenario out in my mind thousands of times but it just doesnt work

 

[denzelsausageton]

^^^ Chappelle

 

[mycoldyourdone]

""I don't remember if I have banana in my pocket or if I'm just happy to you

"

But you're nude waist down...didn't work

 

[since1987]

"you put me in the friend zone, i'll put you in the RAPE zone!...ok now that we got that out of the way, 

 uhh do you wanna hang out soon?"

^ i tried that line...long story short, i had to post bail 8 hours later.

 

[thedeek]

"Excuse me miss, but are you a fish?"

"Cause you got Halllllibuttttt."

 

[neukicks]

Me: Do you know the difference between Jam and Jelly?
Girl: No?
Me: I can't jelly my c-ock down your throat!!!

 

[alleniversonfan01]

I hope you got a big trunk.....................Cuz im puttin my bike in it!!!!!

 

[justhotkicks]

"Would you like a seat...on my face?"