Funny things you've heard people say

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Spinoff the the Dumb things you've heard people say thread.

Back in HS we had an FFA fair and I was in line to buy a burger.
There's a black dude in front of me and it's his turn to order.
He orders his burger and he's waiting for them to make it.
While they're making it he says "YO, CAN I GET SOME CHEEESE ON THIS MOTHER ......?"
I started
.
 
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Took my homie to T-mobile to return something yesterday. While dude was ringing him up he calls me over and says

Him: Does this dude look russian?
Me: Nah man

Him: "preparin the transactions with russian shots of the smirnoff" - in a rick ross voice ... he then quotes most of rick ross' verse

Homie was just standing there
 
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This dude called this old lady out, calling her a "line jumper". Poor old lady was mortified and gave a quick Barry Sanders juke back to where she was. 

Dudes kids and wife were pissed that he did that. It was all jokes though
 
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I was waiting at a terminal in Salt Lake City intl airport and a man carrying his little son on his shoulders walks by. His son who is about 5 or 6 is whining about something petty when he sarcastically goes, "Hey why don't you whine a little louder so that everyone can hear you?" Kid starts moaning loudly and everyone who hears the convo starts laughing. 

kids are a real hoot
 
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When I was serving a table at work, a girl looked like she was in some bad shape (sad, upset, anger all in 1) but was very attractive.
Her guy friend sitting across from her (obviously homosexual) says "isn't she pretty?" i said "absolutely" and as I walk off he said "see
that guy would F___ you." and I lost it... and so did a couple others.

EDIT: also when a dude ordered a yuengling and the girl ordered a "dingaling" on accident that !%%# had me rolling.
 
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Originally Posted by iYen

Spinoff the the Dumb things you've heard people say thread.

Back in HS we had an FFA fair and I was in line to buy a burger.
There's a black dude in front of me and it's his turn to order.
He orders his burger and he's waiting for them to make it.
While they're making it he says "YO, CAN I GET SOME CHEEESE ON THIS MOTHER ......?"
I started
.

  

that would only work if it was unexpected... lulz.

i was talkin to my godbrother last night... and here was his exact words.

Spoiler [+]
"so rick... i'm at the crib, and you know Rodney right? (local basehead that's cool w/ alot of people). this fool rolled up on me and my sis outside chillin. he all of a sudden thinks he got some serious weed growing in my back yard.

"i was like, aight rodney... what you got. rodney say 'bruh... i got that REGGIE, but it aint exactly red. its green.'

"so i told him to go get it.

this fool goes in my back yard, then creeps around the corner. then he asks 'anybody out here' i said no, so he proceeds to pull two big @#$ LEAVES FROM MY TREE out of his pocket"

i could just imagine a basehead pullin out two regular tree leaves talkin about he got that greenery.

 
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in barns n noble some little kid was running around and his mom yelled stop running or i wont buy you your hello kitty book, the kid stopped running
 
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