- 2,239
- 10
- Joined
- Feb 22, 2008
This guide is to help all of you socially challenged males out there who can't seem to get it right with the ladies. Keep in mind that everything I say in this guide is NOT going to make you a Casanova (super pimp/player for my slow people)...in other words, it may or may not work every time. But what I can do is enhance the social skills you already have, or give you a solid foundation to build upon. Feel free to add what you can, and read this with an open mind. Enjoy.
With all that said, let's get straight into it:
[color= rgb(255, 255, 0)]Part 1 - Preparation[/color]
It goes without saying that good personal hygiene is a MUST. Stank breath + unruly hair + fishy armpits = no cutty for you, sonny. Handle that #@%!. Moving on...
The FIRST thing you need to know about approaching any woman/female/person with a vagina is that if you don't take yourself seriously, neither will she. Take a look in the mirror at yourself. Are you a poser? Do you try too hard to be something you're not? If you answered yes to either one of those questions, slap yourself. In anything you do, be true to yourself...you can lie to everyone else in the world, but you can't lie to yourself. If you ain't a thug, don't wear gold fronts and quote Wayne all the time. If you're not preppy, stop wearin non-prescription frames and Polo outfits. Be yourself.
Any pre-thought out situations that you have floating around in your head, please throw them out now. 10 times out of 10, the encounter is NOT going to go how you planned to. The mark of any good bachelor/player/pimp is knowin how to adapt. Life ain't scripted. This means leave them garbage #$+ lines alone...some can use them and still get in there, but chances are that you can't. So leave them be for now.
Always remember this, though...CONFIDENCE IS KEY. That is totally self-explanatory.
Clear your mind and realize that there are millions of fish in the sea. This will help you get over the fear of rejection. Don't be scared to get an awkward stare, a simple "Naw, I ain't tryna talk to anybody right now," or friendzoned. It happens, but don't cry about it. Now you're ready to move on to the next section...
[color= rgb(255, 255, 0)]Part 2 - Selectin the Female[/color]
A player always assesses the situation before he moves in...it doesn't matter where you are (club, store, gym, etc.) You don't want the chick with (for example) dirty shoes. If a female has dirty shoes, chances are she doesn't take care of other #@%!...I'll let you use your imagination. You also don't want the loud obnoxious $$@+$ neither, for obvious reasons.
What you DO want is the nice around-the-way girl...she doesn't have to be a 10, since I'm assuming you don't have the lowest standards in the world, we'll settle for a 7-8ish type of woman. This is the chick that at least appears to be nice and level-headed. How can you tell if she's nice and level-headed, though? Foolproof method right here:
Since (if you've read everything preceding this) you already know you have to adapt to your surroundings, this should work wherever you are. Get close, but not too close. Watch, but don't stare. Pay attention to how she walks and all the little #@%!, because that matters the most. For example: Does she kinda strut? She could be one of those independent types. Does she just saunter aimlessly? She's probably a little artsy, and easy to approach. As long as you're not an idiot, you can probably "feel her out" before you even utter a word. If you master this, half the battle is already won because it dictates how you're going to actually get at her.
Let's move on to actually speaking...
[color= rgb(255, 255, 0)]Part 3 - Gettin Your Foot in the Door[/color]
Let me remind you that there is no one way to approach a female. Even if you've identified her as a certain type using my "method," you probably could still seal the deal even if you unintentionally embarrass yourself. With that said, let's look at your options. Since I can't predict where you might meet/see a certain female, I'm going to outline 3 unique (Keep in mind that these are just SAMPLE situations), general ways to get the girl you want. You probably would have liked me to use real world examples and settings, but that wouldn't help you...if I detail a situation involving you and the girl at the club, what happens if you see someone in the grocery store? So here we go:
1. The Shoulder Bump
Type: Funny
Predictave Success Rating: 4/5 Hearts
[color= rgb(153, 153, 255)]King's Comments[/color] - Should work on most girls, regardless of what kind of girl they are. Might not work as well on older women.
All you have to do is walk past and bump her on the shoulder enough to get her to look at you as if expecting you to say "Excuse me." If she looks, go in. If she doesn't, chalk it up as an L. Imagine how weird it would be if you kept following and bumping the same chick with hopes of getting her to notice you. Assuming she looks, say excuse me and IMMEDIATELY after, say "Out of all the people in the world I could have bumped into, it HAD to be you." Make sure you smile, but not to the point where it looks like you're creepy, feel me? She can respond 1 of 3 ways at this point. She could give you a look of angry confusion and walk off, she could chuckle and continue the conversation, or she could laugh and keep it movin. If you got her to laugh and say something, your foot is in the door. The rest is on you.
2. Mr. Inquisitor
Type: Mature
Predictive Success Rating: 3/5 Hearts
[color= rgb(153, 153, 255)]King's Comments[/color] - This could either work, or blow up in your face. It's really dependent on how quick-witted you are, and your overall demeanor.
Before you approach this female, see if she's by herself or not. If she's alone, this will be WAY easier. If she isn't, approach at your OWN risk. A lot of girls aren't the same person in front of their friends, so the outcome might be different as opposed to her being alone. Whether it's good or bad remains to be seen, though. At any rate, this is what you do. Walk up on her...not fast, and not in slow motion. You don't want to draw ANY attention at first. If she's not looking your way, lightly tap her on the shoulder. If she was already looking in your general direction, it is ok to initiate eye contact, but keep a facial expression of indifference until you speak. And this is where it gets interesting...
Depending on the type of guy you are, you can play with this a little. For the sake of this guide, however, I'm just going to be a little more...general, so to speak.
Ask her this question in a semi-low voice (so as to not let others in the vicinity hear your convo): "If there was a way to get you to smile, how would I go about it? You know...the thing where the corners of your mouth rise?"
If you did it right, she should smile without saying anything at all. If you did it wrong...well...there's always next time.
AS with the previous method, the rest is up to you. This is where being quick-witted comes in handy.
3. Collateral Damage
Type: Funny
Predictive Success Rating: 3/5 Hearts
[color= rgb(153, 153, 255)]King's Comments[/color] - Just like the previous one, this could either work or fail...there isn't really an in-between with this one. You might end up coming off as a douche.
This one is really a no-brainer. All you have to do is be in the vicinity of the female you're trying to get at. What you want to do is spot some clueless stranger that has something wrong going on with their hair/body odor/outfit. Say something like "Somebody smells like pissy mopwater." Best case scenario? The girls agrees, laughs, or takes a little jab at the person like you did. You can use this little ice-breaker to spark up a convo, and improvise from there. Worse case scenario? The person you talk about is the girl's friend/relative, and she calls you a jerk for saying something. She might not even know the person and still call you a jerk for saying it. Hell, she might not say anything at all. Like I said...there's not really an in-between with this one.
[color= rgb(255, 255, 0)]Part 4 - Sealing the Deal[/color]
Here comes the part where you actually get the phone number (or other way of contacting the girl you want). There is absolutely nothing wrong with a "Can I call you sometime?" or "Can I get your number so we can talk later?" I personally like to score with a little more finesse. Before I get into what I do, here's a few tips:
Don't sound too damn eager for the digits
Don't get mad or upset if she asks for YOUR number...she might actually call
Do NOT call the chick the same day UNLESS she tells you to. Yes, this means DON'T check if it's real RIGHT THEN AND THERE
Now, for the #@%! I like to say:
"So...how we gon do this...a %@@!# gotta send smoke signals to you or what?"
"You got unlimited texts?"
"You already know I need that phone number (hand her the phone)...might as well get to the point (smile)"
"What if I feel like I wanna see them -other word for breasts- again?" *I #@%! you not, this has for me worked before*
[color= rgb(255, 255, 0)]Part 5 - CHILL, FAM[/color]
Now, here's where a lot of you mess up. If the chick in question says she will call you, CHILL. If two, three, or four days go by, don't trip. People have lives, so she might not call THE DAY AFTER. Hell, she might not even like you, so if that's the case, you lost already. Calling her up then is adding insult to injury.
If she tells you to call her sometime, PLEASE wait AT LEAST 2 days. AT LEAST. I know you thirsty, but don't let HER know. And if she can't talk to you right then, don't blow her phone up because you suspect she's not interested. Being a stalker is only going to make you look even dumber. Don't get discouraged if when you call she says #@%! like "I'm busy, can I call you back later?" or "I'm bout to go to ___ I'm not sure if I'll be able to talk tonight." Just fall back and chill. She may be tellin the truth, or she might not be. Either way, you wanna give off an "I'm not even trippin" kinda vibe, feel me?
[color= rgb(255, 255, 0)]Part 6 - In closing...[/color]
I really hope this guide helps those of you out there who have problems gettin with the ladies. It is my belief that being smooth with females is a talent, and not something that every guy is good at. Some were just born with the gift, and others weren't. The purpose of this guide is to give all of us dudes a more level playing field. If there is something you want to add to this, reply to this thread, or PM me directly. Please let me know if I got any typos/grammar mistakes.
Hope this helps,
-The King-
With all that said, let's get straight into it:
[color= rgb(255, 255, 0)]Part 1 - Preparation[/color]
It goes without saying that good personal hygiene is a MUST. Stank breath + unruly hair + fishy armpits = no cutty for you, sonny. Handle that #@%!. Moving on...
The FIRST thing you need to know about approaching any woman/female/person with a vagina is that if you don't take yourself seriously, neither will she. Take a look in the mirror at yourself. Are you a poser? Do you try too hard to be something you're not? If you answered yes to either one of those questions, slap yourself. In anything you do, be true to yourself...you can lie to everyone else in the world, but you can't lie to yourself. If you ain't a thug, don't wear gold fronts and quote Wayne all the time. If you're not preppy, stop wearin non-prescription frames and Polo outfits. Be yourself.
Any pre-thought out situations that you have floating around in your head, please throw them out now. 10 times out of 10, the encounter is NOT going to go how you planned to. The mark of any good bachelor/player/pimp is knowin how to adapt. Life ain't scripted. This means leave them garbage #$+ lines alone...some can use them and still get in there, but chances are that you can't. So leave them be for now.
Always remember this, though...CONFIDENCE IS KEY. That is totally self-explanatory.
Clear your mind and realize that there are millions of fish in the sea. This will help you get over the fear of rejection. Don't be scared to get an awkward stare, a simple "Naw, I ain't tryna talk to anybody right now," or friendzoned. It happens, but don't cry about it. Now you're ready to move on to the next section...
[color= rgb(255, 255, 0)]Part 2 - Selectin the Female[/color]
A player always assesses the situation before he moves in...it doesn't matter where you are (club, store, gym, etc.) You don't want the chick with (for example) dirty shoes. If a female has dirty shoes, chances are she doesn't take care of other #@%!...I'll let you use your imagination. You also don't want the loud obnoxious $$@+$ neither, for obvious reasons.
What you DO want is the nice around-the-way girl...she doesn't have to be a 10, since I'm assuming you don't have the lowest standards in the world, we'll settle for a 7-8ish type of woman. This is the chick that at least appears to be nice and level-headed. How can you tell if she's nice and level-headed, though? Foolproof method right here:
Since (if you've read everything preceding this) you already know you have to adapt to your surroundings, this should work wherever you are. Get close, but not too close. Watch, but don't stare. Pay attention to how she walks and all the little #@%!, because that matters the most. For example: Does she kinda strut? She could be one of those independent types. Does she just saunter aimlessly? She's probably a little artsy, and easy to approach. As long as you're not an idiot, you can probably "feel her out" before you even utter a word. If you master this, half the battle is already won because it dictates how you're going to actually get at her.
Let's move on to actually speaking...
[color= rgb(255, 255, 0)]Part 3 - Gettin Your Foot in the Door[/color]
Let me remind you that there is no one way to approach a female. Even if you've identified her as a certain type using my "method," you probably could still seal the deal even if you unintentionally embarrass yourself. With that said, let's look at your options. Since I can't predict where you might meet/see a certain female, I'm going to outline 3 unique (Keep in mind that these are just SAMPLE situations), general ways to get the girl you want. You probably would have liked me to use real world examples and settings, but that wouldn't help you...if I detail a situation involving you and the girl at the club, what happens if you see someone in the grocery store? So here we go:
1. The Shoulder Bump
Type: Funny
Predictave Success Rating: 4/5 Hearts
[color= rgb(153, 153, 255)]King's Comments[/color] - Should work on most girls, regardless of what kind of girl they are. Might not work as well on older women.
All you have to do is walk past and bump her on the shoulder enough to get her to look at you as if expecting you to say "Excuse me." If she looks, go in. If she doesn't, chalk it up as an L. Imagine how weird it would be if you kept following and bumping the same chick with hopes of getting her to notice you. Assuming she looks, say excuse me and IMMEDIATELY after, say "Out of all the people in the world I could have bumped into, it HAD to be you." Make sure you smile, but not to the point where it looks like you're creepy, feel me? She can respond 1 of 3 ways at this point. She could give you a look of angry confusion and walk off, she could chuckle and continue the conversation, or she could laugh and keep it movin. If you got her to laugh and say something, your foot is in the door. The rest is on you.
2. Mr. Inquisitor
Type: Mature
Predictive Success Rating: 3/5 Hearts
[color= rgb(153, 153, 255)]King's Comments[/color] - This could either work, or blow up in your face. It's really dependent on how quick-witted you are, and your overall demeanor.
Before you approach this female, see if she's by herself or not. If she's alone, this will be WAY easier. If she isn't, approach at your OWN risk. A lot of girls aren't the same person in front of their friends, so the outcome might be different as opposed to her being alone. Whether it's good or bad remains to be seen, though. At any rate, this is what you do. Walk up on her...not fast, and not in slow motion. You don't want to draw ANY attention at first. If she's not looking your way, lightly tap her on the shoulder. If she was already looking in your general direction, it is ok to initiate eye contact, but keep a facial expression of indifference until you speak. And this is where it gets interesting...
Depending on the type of guy you are, you can play with this a little. For the sake of this guide, however, I'm just going to be a little more...general, so to speak.
Ask her this question in a semi-low voice (so as to not let others in the vicinity hear your convo): "If there was a way to get you to smile, how would I go about it? You know...the thing where the corners of your mouth rise?"
If you did it right, she should smile without saying anything at all. If you did it wrong...well...there's always next time.
AS with the previous method, the rest is up to you. This is where being quick-witted comes in handy.
3. Collateral Damage
Type: Funny
Predictive Success Rating: 3/5 Hearts
[color= rgb(153, 153, 255)]King's Comments[/color] - Just like the previous one, this could either work or fail...there isn't really an in-between with this one. You might end up coming off as a douche.
This one is really a no-brainer. All you have to do is be in the vicinity of the female you're trying to get at. What you want to do is spot some clueless stranger that has something wrong going on with their hair/body odor/outfit. Say something like "Somebody smells like pissy mopwater." Best case scenario? The girls agrees, laughs, or takes a little jab at the person like you did. You can use this little ice-breaker to spark up a convo, and improvise from there. Worse case scenario? The person you talk about is the girl's friend/relative, and she calls you a jerk for saying something. She might not even know the person and still call you a jerk for saying it. Hell, she might not say anything at all. Like I said...there's not really an in-between with this one.
[color= rgb(255, 255, 0)]Part 4 - Sealing the Deal[/color]
Here comes the part where you actually get the phone number (or other way of contacting the girl you want). There is absolutely nothing wrong with a "Can I call you sometime?" or "Can I get your number so we can talk later?" I personally like to score with a little more finesse. Before I get into what I do, here's a few tips:
Don't sound too damn eager for the digits
Don't get mad or upset if she asks for YOUR number...she might actually call
Do NOT call the chick the same day UNLESS she tells you to. Yes, this means DON'T check if it's real RIGHT THEN AND THERE
Now, for the #@%! I like to say:
"So...how we gon do this...a %@@!# gotta send smoke signals to you or what?"
"You got unlimited texts?"
"You already know I need that phone number (hand her the phone)...might as well get to the point (smile)"
"What if I feel like I wanna see them -other word for breasts- again?" *I #@%! you not, this has for me worked before*
[color= rgb(255, 255, 0)]Part 5 - CHILL, FAM[/color]
Now, here's where a lot of you mess up. If the chick in question says she will call you, CHILL. If two, three, or four days go by, don't trip. People have lives, so she might not call THE DAY AFTER. Hell, she might not even like you, so if that's the case, you lost already. Calling her up then is adding insult to injury.
If she tells you to call her sometime, PLEASE wait AT LEAST 2 days. AT LEAST. I know you thirsty, but don't let HER know. And if she can't talk to you right then, don't blow her phone up because you suspect she's not interested. Being a stalker is only going to make you look even dumber. Don't get discouraged if when you call she says #@%! like "I'm busy, can I call you back later?" or "I'm bout to go to ___ I'm not sure if I'll be able to talk tonight." Just fall back and chill. She may be tellin the truth, or she might not be. Either way, you wanna give off an "I'm not even trippin" kinda vibe, feel me?
[color= rgb(255, 255, 0)]Part 6 - In closing...[/color]
I really hope this guide helps those of you out there who have problems gettin with the ladies. It is my belief that being smooth with females is a talent, and not something that every guy is good at. Some were just born with the gift, and others weren't. The purpose of this guide is to give all of us dudes a more level playing field. If there is something you want to add to this, reply to this thread, or PM me directly. Please let me know if I got any typos/grammar mistakes.
Hope this helps,
-The King-
