Girlfriend Got raped... Need to Vent.. Updated Information at pg1

Discussion in 'General' started by nloc, Feb 4, 2013.

  1. nloc


    Jun 29, 2008
    Me and my girlfriend have a long distance relationship currently due to her being in Texas and me in NYC in college. She called me crying to tell me about few hours ago that yesterday at her sisters party she got raped by some guy. She is sure of it and was scared at what to do and called me but me listening to it all, I just had my mind blank out and choke up. She was waiting for her sister to talk to mofo with her bf and find out what happened to be sure before my gf officially goes to the cops. I told her to go get a rape kit done and call cops and tell her parents but she said she wants to be sure before doing anything. I got enraged and told her if she was lying to play this off and as an excuse for what she did but with out a doubt im sure she did got raped now. I'm waiting for more info now but I don't know what to do. I feel so bad and powerless now and I feel so bad right now. I just needed to vent guys ....idk what else to do.

    Just to add few more details, she was drinking but not wasted type but everyone else was and when she woke up she knew what had happened and was frantic. She tells me now that she is doesn't know what to do and all that.


    It officially is a rape now that her mom knows and today she went to planned parenthood and she was given a Plan B pill and appointment for a medical check up and get tested. She told me though she does not want to press charges and made up her mind to which she told me this morning. I broke down hard and felt like crap and a deep pain when she told me that. I went to my counselor in college and I literally just let it all out and explained to her what happened. She and another head of the counseling department spoke to me for over an hour and made me think and realize everything. She said to understand that many women don't report it to the police because our court system will drag this to well over months or even years and it would be a constant reminder of what happened and how society will label her as a slut and all that crap we hear about in the news. She just brought out facts and after the whole talk I was able to regain my self and walk out with a clear head. I am going to be there for her and support her because there is no doubt my girl is broken by all this and she just wants to let the healing process begin. I wanna thank you guys as well for the positive comments and I know many of you had the same reaction I initially had about her lying to cover up something but there is no doubt now she was raped.

    This is how is went down by all accounts of what people told me and parents and herself once she was at planned parenthood.
    It was a party/gathering. Drinking was involved but my girl wasn't feeling in the mood but still drank. She took her medicine from her doctor prescription then drank one drink they were giving and went to lay down as she texted me. She tells me this guy was there that has tried in past to hit on her was there and was getting wasted with everyone else including her sister. So she basically knows the **** who did it and he owned up to it and said he was just wasted and out of his mind. Next thing she wakes up with her clothes off and realizes what has happened and tells her sister. She tells her to go check herself in the bathroom for bruises marks and anything that will show rape has occurred. She has no bruises but checks her privates and sees it is sore and has the obvious inside of her to which she breaks down. She tells her sis and they go out to find the guy and confront him while my gf stays home not knowing what to do. She then told those things I wrote initially not being able to think right and confuses me initially and gives me doubts by not wanting to get anything done or telling parents. I threatened her saying if she is lying to cover up some bs excuse and that I will tell her parents myself but she tells me to hold on. She later does tell her mom and her moms goes crazy but then calms down telling her that she is by her side and that it is her decision to what she wants to do, meaning my gf decision. I was upset and basically told her I dont wanna deal with this and she starts to breakdown saying I cant leave her when she needs me now more than ever and cant go through this just with her parents and herself alone. I managed to calm her and she goes to sleep. Today she went with her mom and friend to planned parenthood to get a Plan B pill and they give her an appointment to go get checked up and tested for everything. She now has to get checked every 6 months for HIV for the next 5 years along with any other std. I then get heated again when she tells me she wont press charges because it will only be dragged in court for months and years even which will cause her pain and daily reminders of what happened. That is what she told me and her close friend told me as well to think about it. I then went to my counselor in college and then went to the head and they just broke it down for me as they have dealt with this situations of rape and trying to make me understand why a woman wont go to the cops.

    At this point I just wanna get through this as best I can and help her because what started off as a unclear story and suspicions just as you all said, just was confirmed to me by others, her mom and herself.

    New edit:
    The guy was not there come morning time, he disappeared the next morning and he was the only missing person from all the other people there and is why my gf sis with her bf went out to fin him and confront him. She may as well been have given something as all u said just one drink and then the guy knowing this took advantage of it and then left.

    That being said I was already going through some personal family matters that put me in a depression stage and this just put me down in a place where I can never get myself out. You all may say im soft beta and to get out but when a man is kicked this deep down in a hole there is nothing else that matters other than getting my family through with our issues and being a supportive person to a person who is with her mom seeing a counselor at this moment. If i walk away what good will come from it, have this in the back of my mind knowing I walked away from a person I supposedly loved. Im not trying to talk my way into sounding like Im right or convincing myself but depression really hits hard and all i care about is moving forward, getting my degree and helping a person out. You all have right to say im a ***** for being there for a person going through this.
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2013
  2. beezylocks


    Apr 6, 2007
    So what's the story? What does she say happened?
    How does she not know if she got raped?
  3. a blinkin

    a blinkin

    Jan 5, 2013
    What exactly did she tell you about the incident?

    The whole "wanting to be sure" thing sounds off.
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2013
  4. antidope


    Jan 2, 2012
    Wow.... I'm really sorry to hear that and while I have no real answer for this just do your best to be there for her and that life can go on past this.
  5. servechilled81


    Mar 29, 2004
    was she drunk or passed out or something?  Is that why she doesn't know for sure?
  6. 25thhour

    25thhour Banned

    Jan 30, 2013
    Seems sketch fam. On one hand I want to sympathize but on the other I know what slimeballs these women can truly be. She really got raped at her SISTERS party? I just don't know. Will stay tuned for deets.
  7. water


    Nov 1, 2012
    Was she drunk. If so I'm sorry bro. 
  8. pythagoras


    Sep 28, 2012
    Damn, why would she be hesitant to file a report though? 
  9. Nawzlew


    Sep 11, 2011
    Why wait to see "what really happened".

    If she does think she was raped, she needs to go to the police ASAP.
  10. mrbrown

    mrbrown Banned

    Jan 3, 2011
    She wants to make sure she got raped?

    both outcomes are devastating
  11. bendover


    Aug 14, 2012
    Was she ruffied or drunk?
  12. trilluminated


    Jul 18, 2012
    either she got raped or she cheated..

    catch 22.
  13. shoefreakbaby


    Nov 2, 2011
    Sounds like she is not sure if it was consensual or rape.

    Don't call her a liar, just support her
  14. pythagoras


    Sep 28, 2012
    So she was drinking, didn't get "wasted", somehow passed out to the point where she didn't wake up if she were getting raped? 

    Something ain't right
    g14 likes this.
  15. bombbiggidyphil


    Oct 29, 2007
    Must've been.

    So sorry to hear that man. Nothing worse than taking advantage of someone. Can't imagine what she or you are going through right now. Remember, it's not your fault...nothing you could've done. Whatever you do, above all else, be there for her.
  16. RIP sleazyy

    RIP sleazyy

    Jul 19, 2012
    Scared, ashamed, thinking its her fault. sometimes cops really don't even do **** about rape.

    OP I don't eem know what you're going through right now. But don't accuse her or anything like that until you know 100% what's going on.
  17. typerpinoy


    May 2, 2003
    did dude slip something in her drink?
  18. Mark Antony

    Mark Antony

    May 1, 2010

    That's what alerts me.
  19. createdestroy

    createdestroy Banned

    Apr 18, 2010
    OP you know what you gotta do now

    Last edited: Feb 4, 2013
  20. af1 1982

    af1 1982

    Aug 5, 2005
    Keep your head up fam. What has happened has happened. Move forward and beat him in court. Take all his money and ruin him for the rest of his life
  21. young thundercat

    young thundercat

    Jun 5, 2012
    Hate to be that guy, but she cheated story just doesn't make sense.

    I still feel for OP either way.
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2013
  22. alp

    alp Banned

    Sep 2, 2011
    some ppl dont like the cops
  23. BaltimoreLove

    BaltimoreLove formerly peterjamesthe3rd

    May 18, 2006
    Shes either telling the truth and you might have to catch a body.... or shes lying and you might have to catch a body...

    either way, this is a bad hand but stay strong...
  24. meek meals

    meek meals Banned

    Jul 18, 2012
    I want to say you should already be on your way to Texas ready to catch a body but her "wanting to be sure" . . . 

    Idk man. As much as she coulda gotten raped, she also coulda just gotten drunk and let some dude smash and now she feels guilty.

    Either way, things like this is why I can't date someone halfway across the nation. If something really did happen, you're essentially powerless and if she's letting other dudes smash . . . then . . . welp . . .
  25. sosmoove


    May 12, 2008