Gordon Ramsay’s Porn Dwarf Double Eaten by Badger

lobotomybeats

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http://gawker.com/5839596/gordon-ramsays-porn-dwarf-double-eaten-by-badgerDEVASTATING!



[h1]Gordon Ramsay’s Porn Dwarf Double Eaten by Badger[/h1]
U.K. tabloid Sunday Sport recently introduced the world to Percy Foster, a 35-year-old dwarf porn star whose career was just beginning to catch fire. It was all because an observant production assistant on the set of Hi-Ho Hi-Ho, It's Up Your %@%% We Go had noticed how much Foster looked like celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay. But just as Foster was set to join the rarefied ranks of celebrity lookalike dwarf porn stars, tragedy struck: The body of the 3' 6" performer has been discovered in a badger's den, partially eaten.

According to Sunday Sport's follow-up account, Foster was found "deep in an underground chamber by Ministry of Agriculture experts ahead of a planned badger-gassing programme near Tregaron, west Wales." They write that "expert CSI teams had to use fingertip technology to remove his body from the six-foot-deep burrow." (I have no idea what fingertip technology is, but I imagine it's akin to one of those claw cranes you find in arcades and drugstores.)

Officials have not yet ruled out suicide, and adult film producer Dexter Yamunkeh's comments — in which he intimates that Foster may have cracked under the pressures of being the world's leading Gordon Ramsay-lookalike-sex-dwarf — certainly don't invalidate the possibility:
"Percy was a little guy with big problems. He was doing well but he was under pressure, 24/7, like everyone in this goddamned business."

It's more than a little curious that the internet, aka God's porn dumping grounds, contains not a single reference to either Percy or Dexter prior to these two news items. But that's just the cynic in me talking. So tonight, we pour out a little (and I do mean little) gin in memory of poor Percy. We may never get to see his work in Midget MasterChef: Assbasters 7, but his memory will live on all the same. [Sunday Sport via Anorak]
 
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I can't take this seriously after I skimmed it and saw that they mentioned the "ministry of agriculture" because of Harry Potter.
The dwarf porn star celebrity chef look-a-like being eaten by badgers thing is also just kind of amusing in general.
I feel bad for giggling.
 
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**waits impatiently to get off work to go home and google Hi-Ho Hi-Ho, It's Up Your %@%% We Go**

-J-
 

|A-Man|

formerly atgd7154xbbxmz
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So much I didn't know. I'm taken aback by this shocking and revelatory news.
 
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