Have you ever lost a parent?

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Sorry for your loss breh. I can’t begin to understand how you’re feeling but I know feeling lost yourself is one of them.

I sometimes think about that worst. & this yr in particular has been type scary with my own health scares.

Found myself more concerned about their concerns for me than my actual dilemma. ****, broke down crying thinking what a mess I’d be.

In these times, family will get you through.

Sorry to hear about your struggles. I don't want to intrude about the specifics, but I hope you're good and if you ever need to talk you can hit my PM and I'm sure other NTers will echo that sentiment.
 
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getback getback , I'm so sorry for your loss. I haven't lost a parent yet, but my kids have. Truthfully, there isn't a textbook to help guide you through these times. Losing my wife rattled us to the core. The only advice I can give is to keep honoring your dad. Remember him. Talk about him. Shout about all that he means to you. Grief is just something you have to wade through. Running through it doesn't serve anyone well. Mire in it if you feel you need to. Break down when you need to. Yell when you need to. Don't ever doubt yourself when you think life isn't fair. It's not. Be there for others that are also trying to keep their head above water. Smile when you can. But most importantly, never minimalize what you are going through. How you fare now will determine how you manage later.

My parents are older and I am constantly on high alert. I feel for you. I am here if you need anything.

That's unfathomable to me man. Having a child that has to say goodbye to a parent at a young age. I could see the hurt on my sister's face when she talked about needing to tell her kids about saying goodbye to their grandfather. I really can't even begin to think what that's like to have to do it with a child and their mother/father. I'm sorry you all had to experience that. You have a great attitude and sense of humor though, so there's no doubt those characteristics helped your family get by.

Appreciate the feedback and advice. I hope your folks stick around for a long time for you and your children.
 
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I was 15 when my dad died. I knew he was going to die. He had cancer and he wasn't getting better. I was a little disconnected at the time cuz I was so young so I don't think it really hit me and I think it's so processing it even now in my 30s. I know it affected my older brothers in very different ways. I think all three of us should have gone to therapy after it happened. I think it would have helped us tremendously so that's something I'll suggest cuz I wish I would have done it when I was younger and I wish my brother could have done it. Just talk to a counselor or talk to a professional about my grief

I know exactly what you mean. I didn't really have to process the death of someone close until I hit my 20's. I was still immature and naive at that age so the gravity probably didn't soak in the right way. At 15 I would have dealt with it similar to how you describe. I think it just hits different (at least for me personally) the more time goes by and you sort of get the sense of how precious life and time is. It's a lot.
 
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I'm sorry to hear this, my friend.

The thing that hurts the most about death is the permanence of it. For me, it helps to know that a good life never literally ends. A good life impacts those around them in a positive way, and that positive impact doesn't end when they do.

The fact that you're taking this so hard, it sounds like your father had a positive impact.

May his body Rest In Peace, but his positive impact will live on.

That hasn't died. That won't ever die.

-foe

Appreciate your support. That's a good way to approach it that I'll have to work on. I think it's just so early on that I'm still in the shock stage and I won't be able to truly address and process it for a little while.
 
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I haven't yet but I do have a parent with not long left so I know it's coming.

Must be hell to go through. Keep your chin up pal.

I'm sorry to hear that my friend. It's really tough. I hope you're able to spend as much time with them as possible and make the most out of the time you have together.

Thank you for your words.
 
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My condolences getback getback

I'll share a word with you, and to anyone else who may be going through the same thing. I'm no sage, but I hope it can help at least one person.

Someone told me this once - although absolutely nothing can prepare you for the loss of a parent and/or child, it is kind of like a big scar. Initially it hurts, the pain is almost unbearable. It might seem like it will hurt forever, but eventually, the pain will go away. One day, you'll be able to look back and even smile or laugh on it. But it will always be there - you just learn to live with it. My life experience has shown this to be 100% true.

And as I get older, and more people in my life begin to transition, I am able to take comfort in the fact that they knew exactly how I felt about them. Not even in a gushy way, but letting someone know you care about them goes a long way, even if society has made it faux pas.
 
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Condolences, OP.

When I was born until I was 27 years old... I knew nothing about my father.

It was very difficult for me.

I just tried to be a good man... and live in a way where other men accepted me...in an effort to fill the void of attempting to impress one great man...that just was not there.
 
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Condolences, OP.

When I was born until I was 27 years old... I knew nothing about my father.

It was very difficult for me.

I just tried to be a good man... and live in a way where other men accepted me...in an effort to fill the void of attempting to impress one great man...that just was not there.

I'm sorry man. I know you've been through a lot between your own diagnosis and this that I did not know about. But I do know you're a strong dude for being able to persevere and view things from a glass half full perspective. That's admirable.
 

dacomeup

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Sorry for your loss getback getback

I have no experience here with respect to my parents yet, but my mom lost her mom a year ago and she definitely struggled with it big time. They were best friends and would talk multiple times a day. As others have said, my advice is just to lean on your people. People really won’t know exactly what you’re going through unless you’re willing to share those feelings, and I’m sure you will find people willing to support you in any way that you need, which of course is likely to change over time. Thoughts are with you and your family, and definitely my inbox is open if ever you need to chat.
 
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Sorry for ya loss bro.

Lost my mom last year, still ****ed up. Will never be the same.
Praying for you bro, be well.
 
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Sorry for your loss getback getback

I have no experience here with respect to my parents yet, but my mom lost her mom a year ago and she definitely struggled with it big time. They were best friends and would talk multiple times a day. As others have said, my advice is just to lean on your people. People really won’t know exactly what you’re going through unless you’re willing to share those feelings, and I’m sure you will find people willing to support you in any way that you need, which of course is likely to change over time. Thoughts are with you and your family, and definitely my inbox is open if ever you need to chat.

My mom went through the same thing when she lost her mom and I still feel like she never really fully recovered.

You’re right on about being with friends/family providing comfort. My support system has been solid and I feel lucky for that.

Thanks for your words man.
 
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Just try and keep busy and keep good people around you.
When you alone and in ya head is when it's the worst.
You learn to function as time goes on, but the missing feeling never goes away.
 

DLF

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Sorry for your loss. Life is a fragile thing and we always forget about where we will all end up one day. Live with love in your heart and I wish you strength during this tough tough time.
 
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