Helping someone close to you beat a pill/drug addiction..

[uter zorker]

It's come to the point where I realize I can only do so much for this person, and its time to get advice from others/possibly go to others for help in helping a very close friend out who, for the last month or two, has been abusing oxy's, vics, percs, and many other drugs (I even believe she has smoked crack/meth)

To make a very long story short, I started dating this girl a little more than a year ago. She didn't drink or smoke, she didn't really do anything. She had been sober for 2-3 years (well since the high school days when everyone would at parties) and was just a great, kind, friendly girl overall. About 6 months ago I finally got her to drink a little, I would always tease her about drinking saying one or two drinks wouldn't hurt, but I never could have imagined it'd turn into this.

She started drinking heavily a few months after she started casually drinking again, nearly every day she'd want to drink. And the mood swings started appearing, she started hanging out with other waitresses from her work who would drink (either on the job, or afterwards at the bar next door) nearly every day. This past December I realized I just wasn't happy with her anymore and brought things to an end. We would still talk nearly every day, hang out, mess around, and while I could tell she was upset I had no idea just how far she was slipping.

A couple weeks after breaking up she apparently got talked into doing some coke at the bar with a couple people/friends. Since then she has slid into the realm of oxys, vics, percs, any type of prescription drug she could get her hands on. I slowly started learning more and more from her through various hints and cries for attention/help. Shes surrounding herself with the wrong people, the type of people that hang out in our downtown area every night, drinking at the bar, doing coke at the bar, and overall just wasting away..and not just young people either, I'm talking 30+ year olds..

I'd say about 2 weeks ago I finally found out just how bad it was. At this point, I would guess that there hasn't been a day in 2012 where she's not abused pills. Also, I doubt theres a day where she hasn't drank an entire bottle of cheap vodka to her face. Shes starting to look like %$!#, even smell like %$!#  (which was when I really started realizing just how bad it was, she went from being someone that would be obsessive over being clean and taking care of her body, to turning into someone that didn't shower for days on end, and started breaking out all over)...

She's come to me several times asking for help, mainly through text message at 2am when shes drunk and doped up, talking about how she just wishes she could OD one night in her sleep and end everything...I've been trying the last couple of weeks to help her, talk her through everything and explain that shes just giving in to the idea of feeling nothing. She'll tell me around 4 or 5pm every day that she feels like shes dying, and I know that's a symptom of withdrawal. I know she started popping because she was so upset (she can be a very obsessive girl which also led to the breakup) over everything that happened between us, but I can't get her to realize that it's just not that big of a deal. I've tried to explain that we're too young (she's 21) to get those illusions of grandeur and marriage/kids and all that already, but she just never got it..shes the typical girl that believes in the fairytale romance/happy ending..

Knowing her it's easy for me to see how she slipped into this..she can be a pushover at times and is just too kind to everyone/always afraid to disappoint. I need to know what the next step is though. I can't sit back with this on my conscious anymore, knowing that any day she could OD and I had the chance to do something about it...

Do I contact a rehab center?

Do I contact her mother who she lives with? Shes babied beyond belief so I'm worried nothing will be done/the mom won't even believe me

Hoping someone here has dealt with and been able to help someone close to them in a situation like this, I just want to help this girl get better...

 

[bwrestler15]

in b4 megatron(always wanted to say that

)

Try talking to her about it more. I would contact her family before going to a rehab center. The rehab might just make her mad and distance herself from you. Good luck OP!

 

[supermanblue79]

I would talk to her about it first, suggest rehab, and provide the informaiton and moral support.  If that doens't work, I would will want notify her family.
This is a situation that she has to choose to, and want to get better. 

What ever you do, you're going to need to distance yourself so that her problems don't start to effect your life.

 

[gregzzy23]

I had someone close to me with a far more serious and longer addiction problem. She needs a reality check. That persons reality check was spending a few months in rikers. No talk was gonna effect him. It might be early enough that you talking to her might be the reality check she needs, especially since she contacts you late at night like that. Maybe that talk needs to come from family. Ultimately she probably needs to end up in rehab, hard to really tell from a story. Good luck.

 

[doublejs07]

Damn, Uter....tough situation.

Let me ask...do you feel any sort of burden because of how this seemingly started with just a drink or two? My gut feeling is that she would have gone down this path sooner or later, but still....it's gotta be hard on you.

Knowing that there is a chance she could OD, it might be a good idea to contact her family to let them know of what's going on with her. I know if I was her dad, as tough as that conversation would be to take, I'd still appreciate it deep down because I know that I would do everything in my power to help to get her cleaned up.

*Not totally sure, but maybe PM SKA. I think he deals w. situations like these in his line of work. He'd be a good person to get advice from.

Best of luck to you.

 

[ghost703]

Your first step should be able to try and get her into some sort of outpatient program or counseling group. Somewhere where she can talk with someone and deal with the issues that cause her to use drugs and drink too much

best of luck, dealing with substance abuse issues isnt easy.. i've been down that road

 

[an dee 51o]

Sorry to tell you, but there's nothing you can do. She has to want to get better. The only thing you can really do is talk to her and tell her how much this is hurting the people that love her, but most addicts know that and aren't trying to hear it. Forcing rehab doesn't help, she has to really want it. If she's using pills, she'll need to go to detox in a hospital because you can die from withdrawal. Next step is rehab, then possibly a sober living facility. What you need to understand is that addiction becomes a lifestyle after a while, and she needs help transitioning back to normal life. If she's using painkillers like you said, it's important that she gets help now, because the next step is heroin addiction and 80% of all heroin addicts die from it.


That's only if she REALLY wants to get better, though.


I don't mean to scare you, just trying to give you good info. Best of luck.

Originally Posted by Ghost703

Your first step should be able to try and get her into some sort of outpatient program or counseling group. Somewhere where she can talk with someone and deal with the issues that cause her to use drugs and drink too much

Outpatient rehab has a very low success rate, especially among opiate addicts. She needs inpatient care first and foremost and outpatient care after. This is not an expert opinion, but it is an educated one.

 

[ghost703]

^ you are correct.. i made my recommendation as a starting point for the thread starter

It definitely sounds like inpatient treatment is what she needs..

 

[lou baton]

Originally Posted by Supermanblue79


I would talk to her about it first, suggest rehab, and provide the informaiton and moral support.  If that doens't work, I would will want notify her family.
This is a situation that she has to choose to, and want to get better. 

What ever you do, you're going to need to distance yourself so that her problems don't start to effect your life.

This is great advice.   My brother was severely addicted to pills for a long time.  He was a complete zombie.  I feared the day I got a phone call saying he had ODed.  No matter how much you want a person to get clean it will never happen until they want it.  Detox from from pills can be deadly if heavily addicted and not done properly under appropriate care and supervision.  In my brother's case he went to an outpatient clinic where he was given Suboxone to help wean him off.   Good luck OP.  I really wish you and your friend the best.  Addiction is so sad.