Hilarious Reply Emails to Advertisements

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Jan 1, 2009
http://www.dontevenreply.com/all.php

This dude is hilarious, he replies to ads and fools around with the sellers/buyers.
this is my favorite one though:

Original ad:
litter of 5 kittens. two orange, two black, one mixed-grey. all are three weeks old and looking for a good home!

From Yin Chang to *********@***********.org

hello

i buy all kitten you have. how much?

- yin chang

From ************@hotmail.com to Me

Sorry. These kittens are not being sold for food.


I'm asian btw
 
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@ brokeback beach and the frig one
 
The website is much funnier than the one you posted, so you're batting .500 here. But in a non baseball way, otherwise that would be too good.
 
Originally Posted by The Yes Guy

The website is much funnier than the one you posted, so you're batting .500 here. But in a non baseball way, so it's not that good.
yea but i didnt wanna clog up my original post with long quotations, plus I really found the original one i posted hilarious
 
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Original ad:
im selling my 1991 ford f150 for $2500. call ***-***-**** for more info or email

From Mike Partlow to ************@********.org
Hey,

I am interested in your truck. How many miles does it have on it?

Mike

From ***********@yahoo.com to Me:
do you have a number you can be reached at?

From Mike Partlow to ***********@yahoo.com:
Yes I do. My number is (***)-492-159.

From ***********@yahoo.com to Me:
that isnt a phone nubmer there arent enough numbers

From Mike Partlow to ***********@yahoo.com:
That is my phone number. You can get a number with less digits for a small monthly fee, which I am paying for.

From ***********@yahoo.com to Me:
well i dont think its working i tried calling and it said its not a number

From Mike Partlow to ***********@yahoo.com:
Did you dial 1 first?

From ***********@yahoo.com to Me:
i just tried that and it is not working

From Mike Partlow to ***********@yahoo.com:
Wait are you calling from Philly?

From ***********@yahoo.com to Me:
yes

From Mike Partlow to ***********@yahoo.com:
Oh, my mistake. Since you are calling from Philly, you have to dial a 6 first, followed by the pound sign, and then my number.

From ***********@yahoo.com to Me:
IT ISNT WORKING

From Mike Partlow to ***********@yahoo.com:
%+!+, do you just want my office number? It is a little complicated.

From ***********@yahoo.com to Me:
yeah fine give me that

From Mike Partlow to ***********@yahoo.com:
You have to call my office at (215)-592-**** and then put in extension 4491-2938 followed by the pound sign to be transferred to the Human Resources department. Once you are transferred there, you need to enter this pin as the security access code: 2A11-3D58-2F41-FW31. You will be put through to Katie, our receptionist. She is going to ask you a series of questions to confirm you are not a machine. Upon confirmation, tell her that you want to speak to Richard, tell him Mike sent you. When Richard gets on, ask him to page Mike Partlow. Use this code as a reference: 8281-WK82F. It should take about two minutes upon me receiving the page to make it to the secure office phone. I can only talk on that phone for about 15 seconds, so I will give you a randomly generated payphone number for you to call me on. I will then run down to the lobby and pick up the payphone, and then we can talk. Got it?

From ***********@yahoo.com to Me:
it says that is not a working number

From Mike Partlow to ***********@yahoo.com:
Did you dial 1 first?

From ***********@yahoo.com to Me:
%%@+ this. forget it

From Mike Partlow to ***********@yahoo.com:
Wait, I also have a pager number. Do you want that instead?


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Great find man! These are funny as hell, I'm gonna pass this link on
 
Originally Posted by 18key

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Original ad:
im selling my 1991 ford f150 for $2500. call ***-***-**** for more info or email

From Mike Partlow to ************@********.org

Hey,



I am interested in your truck. How many miles does it have on it?



Mike



From ***********@yahoo.com to Me:

do you have a number you can be reached at?



From Mike Partlow to ***********@yahoo.com:

Yes I do. My number is (***)-492-159.



From ***********@yahoo.com to Me:

that isnt a phone nubmer there arent enough numbers



From Mike Partlow to ***********@yahoo.com:

That is my phone number. You can get a number with less digits for a small monthly fee, which I am paying for.



From ***********@yahoo.com to Me:

well i dont think its working i tried calling and it said its not a number



From Mike Partlow to ***********@yahoo.com:

Did you dial 1 first?



From ***********@yahoo.com to Me:

i just tried that and it is not working



From Mike Partlow to ***********@yahoo.com:

Wait are you calling from Philly?



From ***********@yahoo.com to Me:

yes



From Mike Partlow to ***********@yahoo.com:

Oh, my mistake. Since you are calling from Philly, you have to dial a 6 first, followed by the pound sign, and then my number.



From ***********@yahoo.com to Me:

IT ISNT WORKING



From Mike Partlow to ***********@yahoo.com:

%*!#, do you just want my office number? It is a little complicated.



From ***********@yahoo.com to Me:

yeah fine give me that



From Mike Partlow to ***********@yahoo.com:

You have to call my office at (215)-592-**** and then put in extension
4491-2938 followed by the pound sign to be transferred to the Human
Resources department. Once you are transferred there, you need to enter
this pin as the security access code: 2A11-3D58-2F41-FW31. You will be
put through to Katie, our receptionist. She is going to ask you a
series of questions to confirm you are not a machine. Upon
confirmation, tell her that you want to speak to Richard, tell him Mike
sent you. When Richard gets on, ask him to page Mike Partlow. Use this
code as a reference: 8281-WK82F. It should take about two minutes upon
me receiving the page to make it to the secure office phone. I can only
talk on that phone for about 15 seconds, so I will give you a randomly
generated payphone number for you to call me on. I will then run down
to the lobby and pick up the payphone, and then we can talk. Got it?



From ***********@yahoo.com to Me:

it says that is not a working number



From Mike Partlow to ***********@yahoo.com:

Did you dial 1 first?



From ***********@yahoo.com to Me:

$!!$ this. forget it



From Mike Partlow to ***********@yahoo.com:

Wait, I also have a pager number. Do you want that instead?

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at the end when he said wait, do you want my page #

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Original ad:
summer nanny/babysitter needed!!
must watch and entertain kids during the summer. there are ten kids, ages 7 to 9. preferrably looking for a school teacher off for the summer to teach the kids and provide fun activities.
From Mike Partlow to ***********@**********.org

Hello,

I am Staff Sgt. Mike Partlow and I am on a six month leave. I have nothing to do back in the states, and watching your kids sounds like fun. I love kids. I have plenty of activities for them and assure you they will always be kept busy. Let me know if you are interested and we can discuss pay.

Thanks,

SSG Partlow

From Donna ******** to Me

Mr. Partlow,

Thanks for responding! I am interested. Do you have any previous experience with kids? What kind of activities would you do? I am looking for something fun and eductational, and some sports for the boys.

-Donna

From Mike Partlow to Donna **********

Donna,

I have lots of experience with kids from my time in the Middle East. I can teach my expertise to your kids through fun games and activities. I can teach them basic weapons training, close quarters combat, explosive ordinance disposal, and hand-to-hand combat. They will have a blast! I will provide the firearms but I would prefer if you pay for the ammunition. I can make the activities fun and educational. Kids really seem to enjoy basic weapons training when you put it in terms they can understand, for example, I used to teach the Middle Eastern kids how to accurately fire an M203 by a modified version of "pin the tail on the donkey." Instead of a tail, it was a 40mm grenade, and instead of "pinning" it, they fired it from a safe distance. I assure you that safety is my number one concern with the kids, but also, them having fun is my top priority.

SSG Partlow

From Donna ******** to Me

Is this a joke? You realize these kids are mostly 7 years old, right?

From Mike Partlow to Donna **********

Donna,

It is never too early to teach your children these basic life skills. I am aware that they are young and will adjust my program accordingly. We will be mostly using the 5.56mm M16A2, which is a great weapon for children. It is gas operated, so the recoil is minimal, making it a perfect gun for children to use. So what were you thinking as far as pay goes? I don't mean to cut to the chase, but I really need a job.
SSG Partlow

From Donna ******** to Me

This is absurd. I really hope you aren't serious.

I am not interested. Thanks.

From Mike Partlow to Donna **********

Donna,

I am sorry that you are not interested. You may regret this if your child is ever put in a close quarters combat situation, and doesn't even know how to pop a magazine in his rifle.

If you change your mind and decide you want your kids to grow up to be men, not *******, let me know.

SSG Partlow




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Handicapped Movers

Posted at: 2009-06-18 10:09:18

Original ad:
I am looking for help moving on June 23rd into my new apartment. We will need to load everything from my old apartment into a truck, and then drive to my new place and unload it. I have a lot of furniture that is very heavy, as well as a big screen tv that is bulky. We will need to lift a lot of this stuff down three flights of stairs since it won't fit in my elevator. I will pay $25/hr.

From Mike Anderson to *********@**********.org
Good afternoon!

I saw your ad asking for help moving your furniture into your new apartment. I was wondering if you would be interested in hiring my son. I need him to have a job like this so he can feel better about himself. He has been paralyzed from the neck down for five years now. I always encourage him to do normal things like mow the lawn, take out the trash, etc. so he can still feel important even though he does not have the use of his arms or legs. This job would be a huge boost in his self-esteem and with a little help I am sure he can do it. Please consider him!

Mike

From ***********@hotmail.com to Me
Mike,

I'm sorry, but I don't think this job would be appropriate for your son. A lot of the stuff I need to move is very large and heavy. He sounds like a good kid, but I don't think he would be able to do this. Thanks for the offer, though.

Jerry

From Mike Anderson to ************@hotmail.com
Jerry,

I think you are underestimating my son. He can do anything he puts his mind to. I told him I got him a job and he was so excited. Do I really have to go and tell him that the guy changed his mind because he hates handicapped people?

Mike

From ***********@hotmail.com to Me

Oh man...

I don't hate handicapped people. I really just don't see how your son can help, no offense. How can he move anything with his arms and legs? You said he mows the lawn and takes out the trash, how is that even possible?

I apologize, but next time you shouldn't tell your son you got him a job before making sure it is ok with the employer.

Jerry

From Mike Anderson to ************@hotmail.com
Jerry,

Don't tell me how to raise my son. You don't see me telling you how to move your furniture, do you? You never even met my son, and already you are telling me what he can and can't do. He does a great job mowing the lawn. We tied the lawn mower to the back of his wheelchair and he drags it around. You'd be surprised how much torque that wheelchair has. It makes him feel normal again.

I don't have the heart to tell him that he won't be doing this job, so would you be able to come over here and tell him yourself that you hate him and will not hire him? It is the least you could do.

Mike

From ***********@hotmail.com to Me

You've got to be kidding me. This conversation is over.



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That, and this one
http://www.dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=37
are just
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