How do you deflect backhanded superiority comments as an adult?

Discussion in 'General' started by moderndarwin, Feb 25, 2016.

  1. moderndarwin

    moderndarwin

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    One of my really good friends has a habit of making those imbetterthanyou comments. When I was younger it'd basically be an invitation to start smack talking back and forth. As an adult, I'm not really interested in it anymore...especially when in public...its immature. What is a good way to deflect those sort of comments?

    Examples
    1. Recently bought a new (used car). It's a normal, usable nice looking car. Nothing terrible, nothing amazing. He gets in and says, "your door handles suck at opening." In the past this would of started 20 mins of smack talk.

    2. Me, him and another friend were reminiscing and we were talking about our parents plans etc and the old, small apartment I grew up in comes up. He says, "that place was such a (edited for methodical), your rents must of saved so much not buying a house."

    Tldr; how do u deflect instigators without smack talking back?
     
    Last edited: Feb 26, 2016
  2. 6 Rings G.O.A.T.

    6 Rings G.O.A.T.

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    [​IMG]
     
  3. calikev34

    calikev34

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    I run into this not-so-subtle-****-talking at work a lot
    My response is silence, bc if I spoke my mind there'd be drama

    Is this the way to do it? Eh probably not. Office life is weird man.
     
  4. gil23

    gil23

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    i drop the ether and thats where it ends
     
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  5. a blinkin

    a blinkin

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    Get new friends.
     
  6. beacon ave south

    beacon ave south

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    Bruh i have a cousin just like this, dude will nitpick at the smallest things just have something negative to say. dude stays critiquing my physique telling me what sections i need to improve on, homeboy doesnt even lift.


    i respond by being a smart ***, asking him to show me how its done. he usually shuts up then.


    theres just some folks out there who hate seeing others doing better than them.
     
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2016
  7. 7ate9

    7ate9

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    Seriously, that dude sound mad annoying to be around with. 

    I'd say ignore the dude, but if he was constantly bringing up **** like that I'd just tell dude to shut up. 
     
  8. D Fly

    D Fly

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    This

    Also this.

    Especially this :smh:
     
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  9. Mark Antony

    Mark Antony

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    Sometimes you ignore, sometimes you let that heat fly. Just read the situation and what would bother him most. I used to hold back a bit back in my younger HT days because with the practice I had there, I was straight venomous one hitter quitter, but dudes would never understand, thinking I didn't have that work. Till I said **** it, man you could see the hurt in those grown *** men eyes.
     
  10. aNYone

    aNYone

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    [​IMG]
     
  11. moderndarwin

    moderndarwin

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    This sort of stuff happens at work too. It's the pseudo racism\throwing shade to be funny sort of comment people make when they feel "in power". If it is the sort of thing that riles you up but so minor that you look bad for making a fuss out of it.

    It is how the world/people are. Not many people but enough that there has to be a simple way to deal with it.

    With my friend I usually say, "ah it's personal attacks time I see". If it is at work a safe thing to say (besides being quiet) is "Good one" with a bit of a smirk.

    Open to suggestions though. Tiring dealing with it/thinking bout it.
     
  12. Mark Antony

    Mark Antony

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    Ahh naw, don't be that target, stand up for yourself b, just use some common sense and don't let keepin it real go wrong.
     
  13. aNYone

    aNYone

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    Are you clever at all bro. You need to break that **** out,

    Im very reserved, but I can spit calm flames if needed
     
  14. slighted

    slighted

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    Your response to homie next time: "I hope your parents outlive you."
     
  15. wayniac211

    wayniac211

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    :lol:

    Sounds like a troll :nerd:
     
  16. moderndarwin

    moderndarwin

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    Sure, can leave most people tyronne lu'd if necessary. But don't want to need cleverness etc. He does it for that pure reason - he truly enjoys competition and smack talking. He instigates. I used to enjoy it when I was young but now I just want to skip that nonsense. It's draining now. I'm not trying to win...just deflect. I like what someone above said. Going to switch my response up to, get outta here with that passive aggressive bs.
     
  17. aNYone

    aNYone

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    Then just have a real convo about it with him, if he cant adjust ultimately youve just outgrown the friendship.
     
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  18. moderndarwin

    moderndarwin

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    I want him to stay the way he is. It's funny. In a world of people close to me all acting too serious and adult constantly he's a breath of fresh air. We've gone through stuff like parents cancers etc together - this is nothing but a minor annoyance.
     
  19. frankmatthews

    frankmatthews

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    Idk why you can't just tell him what you just wrote. It's cool, u think he's funny but u not really interested in all the back and forth. U not trying to beat him anymore.

    You gotta realize ur the one who changed as far as how u want to interact. He probably just doing what yall always did.
     
  20. sn00pee

    sn00pee

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    it's called negging.

    Make him/her realize that they are negging.

    Try your best not to neg back.

    Remember that sometimes its in fun, and try not to be so serious 24/7.