How long did it take for you to REALLY fall in love with your girl (or boy) friend?

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Ive been with my girl since July 28 and been talking since about the beginning of June but it feels as though we have been in this for MUCH much longer than that. Im kind of stressing/worrying because I dont feel that IN LOVE feeling just yet. Im stressing because I know for a fact shes already at that point and has been for a while now, and meanwhile Im just like not there yet. I kinda attribute that to having my guard up during the beginning stages and now that it has just come down for the most part, now it can begin to grow. I dont want to hurt her and feel as though Im not in love with her and feel like I have to let her go, because I REALLY REALLY want to be with her and in love with her. At the same time, Ive never been anywhere close to being in love before so I dont even know that feel.

IDK, I was just babbling with that last paragraph. Youll have to excuse me, Im just a HUGE worrier
.Thats an optional read


Anyways, just answer the question dammit! I need to feel normal



Ask me for pics and I swear I will find you and kick each one of you in the balls. I have nothing better to do this weekend anyway
 

mrbrown

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Why are you forcing yourself to have these feelings?

People are too quick to try and put a label on everything. Ive never felt love before but Im sure I will know when. They say love is a strong feeling so Im sure it can be recognized when it happens. But why the stress?

Why even worry about it? You think shes gonna leave you or something?....

Its really simple. When you get to a point in your relationship when you feel you can stay together for a while then cool.... when you feel you cant stand her anymore then leave. No one is forcing you to do anything in this world. The world is yours..... so why force yourself to 'love' someone.

Ill just advice you to do as you please. If you feel you can stay then stay.... if you like her enough to marry her then do it. Same for the opposite. Its what it is. You really dont need NT to tell you what to do. Do you.

It really sucks when you feel forced into a relationship. Why bend over for another persons feelings when your own feelings are being neglected.
 
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Originally Posted by p0tat0 5alad

post pics and I'll tell you if she is worth it #foreveralone 


Originally Posted by MrBrown

Why are you forcing yourself to have these feelings?

People are too quick to try and put a label on everything. Ive never felt love before but Im sure I will know when. They say love is a strong feeling so Im sure it can be recognized when it happens. But why the stress?

Why even worry about it? You think shes gonna leave you or something?....

Its really simple. When you get to a point in your relationship when you feel you can stay together for a while then cool.... when you feel you cant stand her anymore then leave. No one is forcing you to do anything in this world. The world is yours..... so why force yourself to 'love' someone.

Ill just advice you to do as you please. If you feel you can stay then stay.... if you like her enough to marry her then do it. Same for the opposite. Its what it is. You really dont need NT to tell you what to do. Do you.

It really sucks when you feel forced into a relationship. Why bend over for another persons feelings when your own feelings are being neglected.
Nah, Im not forced into anything nor is she neglecting my feelings. And I dont want to leave or anything and I know she doesnt want to leave. And I dont want NT to tell me what to do
. I just simply wanted to see how long it usually takes for it to fully blossom.

Trust me, Im not with her, just to be with her. I love and care about this girl very much and I would never stick with anyone just because. I know my value and I could find someone else. But yea, Im not forced to do anything in our relationship. I just wish that my feelings were stronger.
 
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Joined Sep 21, 2005
To really fall in love? Not only really really like and care about them and being able to say, "I love you," without hesitation, but to actually have all your heart invested in that one person and actually have that moment of realization that they're all you want, not necessarily considering marriage, but just knowing they're everything you need in the world for at least as as far as you can see into your future?

Spoiler [+]
It took me a second. The second she left me.

Spoiler [+]
(Taking advantage of a late night vent opportunity
)
 
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Originally Posted by So Slickening

To really fall in love? Not only really really like and care about them and being able to say, "I love you," without hesitation, but to actually have all your heart invested in that one person and actually have that moment of realization that they're all you want?

It took me a second. The second she left me.


Damn son


Thats horrible. My condolences 
 

mrbrown

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Wish your feelings were stronger?

so what will you do when you realize the feelings remain the same?..
 
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Originally Posted by SpeakUp23

Originally Posted by So Slickening

To really fall in love? Not only really really like and care about them and being able to say, "I love you," without hesitation, but to actually have all your heart invested in that one person and actually have that moment of realization that they're all you want?

It took me a second. The second she left me.


Damn son


Thats horrible. My condolences 
It's alright man. It's a stage of life... but if I were to leave you with some advice, it'd be to keep it at a pace you're comfortable with. If she really does love you, she'll be willing to wait. My ex waited 2 years of on-and-off and me deciding to date and try out other girls during our off time before I was ready to ask her out. She loved me, it just sucked that it took her leaving a year later for me to realize to what degree.
 
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Go with the flow bro. Don't force it. It comes when it comes and you'll know it. If you never feel it, then you don't feel it. Simple.

Also pics.

I live in NorCal. Hayward to be exact. I've nothing to do this weeknd either so if you trynna brawl or something. Hit me up.
 
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Oh Joshy! You know us females usually fall harder and faster than you men do. There's nothing wrong with not being in love like that with her yet you guys havent even been together 3 solid months. Remember thaat time you gave me advice on the relationship I was in we fell all hard and fast than when it abruptly ended I was devastated. My suggestion is just be honest let her know how you feel and explain you're on the path to that feeling but not there yet. Lol I just answered this like we on FB messaging each other. Lol memories. And guys I have pics but I ain't sharing! Ha
 
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Rushing into things will only get you hurt faster. Take your time. The first time I said "I love you" to my girl was after 10 months.
 
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Originally Posted by Hendrix Watermelon

Go with the flow bro. Don't force it. It comes when it comes and you'll know it. If you never feel it, then you don't feel it. Simple.

Also pics.

I live in NorCal. Hayward to be exact. I've nothing to do this weeknd either so if you trynna brawl or something. Hit me up.
 
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Be straight up and honest with her and that feeling of love will grow with time. There are no rules you'll know when that feeling comes. Just listen to your heart. Me I really fell in love when I realized she was gone.
 
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I'll be honest, my case seems like it's kinda like So Sickening's.

Was with my girl 10 months, I liked her(had my eye on her a while but things didn't develop for a while...don't ask). Anyway I liked her during our relationship and all was great, never really felt like I was in love though, seemed like she liked me a lot more than I liked her. We broke up(actually she...being the one that liked me more...broke up with me) because of some spiritual things I guess(I'm not religious, she is, something about not being able to support her spiritual side) but we remained great friends and talk near daily still.

Somewhere in this post relationship time(been almost 1 year now) I think I've actually began falling in love with her. I know I care about her more now than I did before for sure.


Point being, I didn't fully fall for her while we were together after the time we were together, you can't rush the way you feel about someone it just happens. Sometimes it takes longer, but letting it happen or not happen naturally is the better move compared to TRYING to force something, that'll never work in the long run because you don't really want it. So all the affection/emotion you feel, you don't have to buy her a dozen roses and tell her she's your reason for living or anything like that, but enjoy her and realize things at your own pace.
Hope that helps
 
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july ia pretty damn early man, i think falling in love is anywhere from 6 moths and up

ive been with mine since march, and im still not IN LOVE with her, but i know im getting there
and i know shes already at that point

it takes time breh
 
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A lot of people will tell you they fall in love with someone after they've been left. Most of the time that's BS. A switch turns on and they then want something they can't have. Every relationship progresses at a different pace, if you personally aren't there yet no need to worry.
 

Gill Baka Esq. LLC.

formerly grimlock
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hmmmm...I was forced to say "I love you" in my last relationship...mostly because I was tired of her jibber jabberin about the subject.

If your not in love with the girl, no one is pointing a gun to your head to say it...but realize this...girls take this type +%%+ to the extreme...if she happens to ask you if you love her or not tread carefully my friend. Girls get hurt hard by +%%+ like this for some reason...it's almost like an act of betrayal.

If this situation comes up just tell her that your still working on feeling that way for someone since you've never really felt it before....something smooth like that...she should feel like turning it up in some way to make you love her....best sex of your life.
 
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It seems like your forcing yourself to love her more when that shouldn't be the case at all. Its different in every relationship/girl. Love isn't something you can control. Its just a feeling that takes over you. I agree with what everyone's saying and stop trying to rush it. Its a beautiful thing when love happens on its own and comes to you naturally. You'll know what were talking about when it happens. Everything takes time so just go with the flow...you'll eventually figure out if its worth it or not. Good Luck


Btw you guys gave some great advice.
 
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Man
knew I was gonna be "that guy"


Call me crazy but it took me 4 months
I should clarify we knew each other for about 2 years so feelings as an awesome friend, toward her, were always present. I don't think you can put a time limit, you just know; when you see how they act toward you, things they've done for you, how down she is like no other, you just feel it. She's the 1st girl I Feel love towards, and it feels good
 

let me post

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you have a girlfriend now? good for you man

seemed like you had alot of self destructive tendencies. im really glad to hear you've been working it out
 
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You're young son, don't worry too much about love. Love just happens but for it to happen, it needs time to truly develop. Being with this chick for a few months isn't enough time for love to be fully cultivated. Keep doing your thing with her, be genuine, have fun, and eventually, if things are meant to be, you'll fall in it like a blind man with no walking stick walking over an empty sewer cap.

Oh and congrats for getting a woman, you a good dude and you deserve it, especially with cuffing season underway.
 
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