I came on too strong. Vol. Girl problems

[fantastic4our]

I actually don't think you came on to strong. The fact that she was with it one day, then sorta instantly turned cold, she either had one of hating *** friends in her ear or might just be real fickle.

In any event, leave that chick alone bro. Don't hit her up unless she hits you first. Continue to get on deez broads doe.

 

[acemaster193]

Are you black OP?

 

[futuremd]

Two saturdays ago at a local bar in my college town I ended up picking up this girl and taking her back to her place. We actually ended up connecting on a lot of things and eventually we had sex. I spent the night at her place and when we woke up had morning sex. We then we to lunch and then she took me back to my place. During the time we spent together we talked a lot and had a lot of similarities and we totally hit it off. To my demises, after getting my home I texted her and we talked a lot over txt messages. I then asked her out on a date the following Wednesday. At the date everything continued to go smooth and I felt as if she was feeling me too. After dinner we went our separate ways and I messaged her an hour later saying "I really enjoyed dinner and I hope you did too". Well she didn't write back until the next day and pretty much hit me up with the she doesn't want anything at the moment blah blah and deleted me off facebook. So pretty much I came on too strong and creeped her out.

Now from you guys here with experience what do you suggest I do? After she hit me up with that message I said I understand if you don't want anything at the moment and pretty much all is well. Since last thursday I have not messaged her back up and I've seen her on campus two times and neither of us has said anything to each other.


I just got off a 18 month relationship, so my game after picking up chicks at the bar and having sex with them is weak. But I know this is NT so here is a pic of her.

Wait what?

You WON homie.

What are you talking about? Were you trying to bring home THREE women? 

If anything you should be holding a master class. 

 

[snake201]

I actually don't think you came on to strong. The fact that she was with it one day, then sorta instantly turned cold, she either had one of hating *** friends in her ear or might just be real fickle.
In any event, leave that chick alone bro. Don't hit her up unless she hits you first. Continue to get on deez broads doe.

I thought it was a friend hating because the week before I smashed her good friends("Jane") roommate("Becky". So I talked to the girl I smashed (Becky) and said did "Jane" say anything to "Kayla"? and she was like no, Jane didn't say anything which I still have in the back of my head as something that went wrong.

 

[shoelyesses]

You speak the truth, thanks for the advice. Moving on and putting this in the past is what is going to be. Yeah I guess you could say I am sprung haha. But that is one thing I def did, I treated her well. When a girl is JO she gets treated like one. But in my mind this girl was far from it and thats where I slipped up. I treated her way too nice. Our school is not small at all but as grad students I know I will run in to her sometime and hopefully something happens then. Till then off to next jump off.

u should conviently coincidently run into the friend who added u to fb and smash her... seems like she told her all bout u and was/is curious so y not quench her thirst... worse case scenario u hit... the other girl outta nowhere hits u up out the blue with y u bang my girl... i thought we had something bs.... etc... then u hit her with the y u mad doggie... u just wanted sex u got it u moved on and so did i to ur g/f... both will not want to speak to u again but hey at least u got to smash both and on to the next.

 

[rook]

Ever since I watched Friends with benefits (Kunis and JT) I've switch up my game haha

 

[henz0]

You sound like a female B.. She told you she aint want nothing, just keep it moving

 

[obeahmyal7]

First off, good work, OP. Unlike most of the cats on this board, you were clearly confident, assertive and smashed in the same night of meeting this chick. To top it off, you smashed in the am. Repped! 

You probably got head over heels and many of us have been there. I remember I was a sophomore in college, confident on some days, insecure on others. This senior who was incredibly stacked and had mad dudes sweatin' her started to give me play. I was completely caught off guard not only because she was fine but also because she took the initiative. I ended up smashing a bunch of times and the connection was peace because we both knew what time it was. But there were days when I wanted more.The novelty of the situation often tricks you into imagining future scenarios instead of appreciating the present. 

You might have scared this one off. You most certainly will if you write that letter. She's 18, your probably young too. Build off of the positives you demonstrated upon your first night out and keep it movin. 

 

[putting in work]

You're out of your mind if you're thinking about giving her a hand written letter.

She already thinks you're creeper status because you came on too strong... if you do that she's going to upgrade you to stalker status.

You're smittened that's all... it's happened to me before. Meet someone you connect with more than on a physical level, but that other person's mindframe isn't in the same place as yours is currently... as in you want a relationship and she doesn't.

I think you should keep it moving seeing as she passed you twice already and haven't said anything to you... and she deleted you from FaceBook took... learn to take a hint man... she doesn't want anything to do with you... if she did she wouldn't have ignored you and deleted you from FaceBook. She would be showing interest too if she wanted to have something to do with you.

Hand written letter |I out of your damn mind bro... hand written letter is for **** like your serious girlfriend when you messed up and you're trying to win her back if she was a good decent chick and you want to waste it on some chick you met at bar and boinked on the same night you live and you learn Snake... that's all I can tell you and I hope you take my advice over everyone else's in this thread.

Now...

If you absolutely like this girl a lot like that and want something more seriously then give it some time and then try to strike something back up, but don't be like how you were the first time.

If you see her out and about on campus approach her on some hanging up and hooking back up, but not no relationship steez until she's ready to go to that next level.

Just give it some time before you try to strike something back up though... even a text asking if she wants to hang out and have some drinks and if she accepts don't question her actions about why she cut you off talk about school or other things that might peek her interest... do not linger on the past and what happened just accept it and go from there... don't even mention the fall out... only think you should mention from the past between the two of you is the great sex you guys had after you two are liquored up real good. Then you make yourself less needy and make her be all strung out for you like you are for her now.

But... if she continues to ignore you or doesn't accept your invitation next time then keep it moving from there on out.

You in Grad School man... you should know better.

 

[snake201]

Wait what?


You WON homie.


What are you talking about? Were you trying to bring home THREE women? 

If anything you should be holding a master class. 

I meant to say that I have no problem picking up girls at the bars and having sex with them. Just that the next day my game is weak since being in a relationship for 18 months.

 

[putting in work]

Yeah also as someone stated earlier I think you should only communicate with her from here on out if she hits you up.

 

[ricky409]

You're out of your mind if you're thinking about giving her a hand written letter.
She already thinks you're creeper status because you came on too strong... if you do that she's going to upgrade you to stalker status.
You're smittened that's all... it's happened to me before. Meet someone you connect with more than on a physical level, but that other person's mindframe isn't in the same place as yours is currently... as in you want a relationship and she doesn't.
I think you should keep it moving seeing as she passed you twice already and haven't said anything to you... and she deleted you from FaceBook took... learn to take a hint man... she doesn't want anything to do with you... if she did she wouldn't have ignored you and deleted you from FaceBook. She would be showing interest too if she wanted to have something to do with you.
Hand written letter |I out of your damn mind bro... hand written letter is for **** like your serious girlfriend when you messed up and you're trying to win her back if she was a good decent chick and you want to waste it on some chick you met at bar and boinked on the same night you live and you learn Snake... that's all I can tell you and I hope you take my advice over everyone else's in this thread.
Now...
If you absolutely like this girl a lot like that and want something more seriously then give it some time and then try to strike something back up, but don't be like how you were the first time.
If you see her out and about on campus approach her on some hanging up and hooking back up, but not no relationship steez until she's ready to go to that next level.
Just give it some time before you try to strike something back up though... even a text asking if she wants to hang out and have some drinks and if she accepts don't question her actions about why she cut you off talk about school or other things that might peek her interest... do not linger on the past and what happened just accept it and go from there... don't even mention the fall out... only think you should mention from the past between the two of you is the great sex you guys had after you two are liquored up real good. Then you make yourself less needy and make her be all strung out for you like you are for her now.
But... if she continues to ignore you or doesn't accept your invitation next time then keep it moving from there on out.
You in Grad School man... you should know better.

best response in here.

 

[futuremd]

Wait what?


You WON homie.


What are you talking about? Were you trying to bring home THREE women? 

If anything you should be holding a master class. 

I meant to say that I have no problem picking up girls at the bars and having sex with them. Just that the next day my game is weak since being in a relationship for 18 months.

Yeah...most of us can handle the latter. 

Its the former that you just shrug off as if its no big deal thats fascinating to me.

Some guys don't know what they've got man... 

Dude can't find love but has no problem knocking them off. 

 

[beh235]

Two saturdays ago at a local bar in my college town I ended up picking up this girl and taking her back to her place. We actually ended up connecting on a lot of things and eventually we had sex. I spent the night at her place and when we woke up had morning sex. We then we to lunch and then she took me back to my place. During the time we spent together we talked a lot and had a lot of similarities and we totally hit it off. To my demises, after getting my home I texted her and we talked a lot over txt messages. I then asked her out on a date the following Wednesday. At the date everything continued to go smooth and I felt as if she was feeling me too. After dinner we went our separate ways and I messaged her an hour later saying "I really enjoyed dinner and I hope you did too". Well she didn't write back until the next day and pretty much hit me up with the she doesn't want anything at the moment blah blah and deleted me off facebook. So pretty much I came on too strong and creeped her out.


Now from you guys here with experience what do you suggest I do? After she hit me up with that message I said I understand if you don't want anything at the moment and pretty much all is well. Since last thursday I have not messaged her back up and I've seen her on campus two times and neither of us has said anything to each other.


I just got off a 18 month relationship, so my game after picking up chicks at the bar and having sex with them is weak. But I know this is NT so here is a pic of her.

Wait what?


You WON homie.


What are you talking about? Were you trying to bring home THREE women? 

If anything you should be holding a master class. 

This. OP why you acting like a rookie?

 

[frostythepoptart]

am i the only one who thought of a scenario where chick was on a break with her bf and pissed off....

thought she found something new and exciting

got hit up by her bf. deletes all evidence of the past 2 weeks, and try to rekindle that??

im imaginative i guess.

 

[evansst]

I actually don't think you came on to strong. The fact that she was with it one day, then sorta instantly turned cold, she either had one of hating *** friends in her ear or might just be real fickle.

In any event, leave that chick alone bro. Don't hit her up unless she hits you first. Continue to get on deez broads doe.

Co-sign.

OP don't sweat it man. Trust me, I've been there but the important thing is to continue to press on and focus on yourself.

Also she looks cool but I'm pretty sure you can do better than that.

 

[putting in work]

am i the only one who thought of a scenario where chick was on a break with her bf and pissed off....

thought she found something new and exciting

got hit up by her bf. deletes all evidence of the past 2 weeks, and try to rekindle that??

im imaginative i guess.

Yeah I thought about that too... seeing as I know of girls that did this same thing too.

Same break crap like Ross and Rachel from Friends and then the girl hooks up and she doesn't want her boyfriend to find out so she deletes all evidence.

I actually thought this same scenario too after reading all of OP's responses.

 

[jthagreat]

Square peg doesn't fit into a round hole.
Don't make it more than what it is. Enjoy the moment, nobody wants to go from one night stand to full fledged relationship in a matter of days. Breathe homie and let things be.

gotta roll with this...

 

[tomdiginson]

It's not that serious Op. You got up in them guts.That alone is a win. You may have not have gotten the relationship you were looking for, but Find a new girl.

 

[needsomejays]

.

 

[oidreez]

women are hard to understand. You already smashed so keep it moving

 

[club-27]

stealth humblebrag thread remains in the shadows

 

[waytoogoodatdis]

OP you messed up.
Girl says I am not looking for anything right now.....you respond with "Neither am I"

You probably got have smashed a couple more times. Either way, keep on pushing man.

 

[futuremd]

OP, seriously. Run us through how you scoped her. This is just too funny to me.

You have the one problem everyone else can handle. 

Lets learn from each other. 

Help me...help you...

Personally, I play the background and keep to myself and it works for me. 

 

[fac3 tak30v312]

This is how you start girl problem threads gentlemen, with pics. Good job OP.
Seems like you already know the deal though. You were looking for more, she was looking for straight up sex. Keep it moving, there's really nothing else to do. It does seem like you were doing too much so learn from your mistakes. With the next girl you're interested in building with take some time don't rush into things.

I've on NT for a while so it's pics or no help. But yeah live and you learn. I don't think she was looking for straight up sex. The whole night she was talking about how she didn't expect the night to turn out the way it did. I.e. She just went out with her friends to get some drinks and never expected to me an awesome guy that was going places. I on the other hand was looking to get laid, hit it and quit it, but ended up meeting an awesome girl I blew it with haha.

This is actually LMR and ASD.. Last minute resistance (even though in your case she didn't resist) and anti-slot defense (That whole I never did this before thing). Things are just as she said, she's a freshman looking to have fun and not lay roots.

If you want an actual plan of action. When you see her say hi/what's up/hey whatever, keep it short, keep it simple. Then a month from now when the holidays are rolling around hit her up on some I was clearing out some of the numbers from my phone steez. That's when you lay the bait to see if she's still interested ... Don't talk about the things you have in common, hell act like you barely remember her. Then call upon whatever game you have to smash. No dates, no hanging out and catching up. Just smashing ..... I'm talking about inviting her to some campus party type of thing.

Also you gotta keep in mind that their is a chance that she has a bf and that's why she shut things down completely