If you have ever battled poor self image/self esteem...

[sunshineblotters]

...how did you get over it?

I am battling that now and there is no light at the end of this tunnel. I see myself in the mirror and I cringe. I don't like anything I see. I avoid taking pics because I simply hate how I look. I go to the gym but I am also so far away from where I want to be (just started about a year, maybe a year and a half ago). I'm also sickle cell anemic and that doesn't help either my self esteem or my gym results. Buying nice clothes and shoes won't help. I've been doing that since I was a kid. Long before I though of myself as ugly. That is something I do because I like to.

Having poor self-esteem/image is depressing. Almost deadly. I want out but I dont know how. I dont have anyone to help me (hell I am not sure help is possible in this situation).

 

[jordan novice]

Pics

 

[antidope]

Yes, and there is no real answer. You cant change the way you look, you really have to embrace it. Theres always someone out there whos "uglier" than you or someone who thinks you're attractive.

 

[Kaleo15]

Watch 40 Year Old Virgin (dead serious)

Dude had low self esteem also, but learned to embraced it and "highlighted his attributes"

All in all bro, stop watching TV, reading magazines, listening to music that tells you to be something you're not! Social media is the reason of culture insecurities.

 

[sooperhooper]

Be thankful for the health that you do hav, it could be worse.

 

[jking0821]

Focus on the positives OP. Whenever i feel down i always remember that there is always some one out there worse off than me. And they get through their day to day grind so can I.

Find something you enjoy doing too, that will help breed confidence. And remember there are a lot of ugly people out there. Its a lot about confidence. Hell some one slept with Steven Tyler....like lets be real...

Stay up OP

 

[parada45]

You just have to get over it is my best advice

I was probably just as bad as you

 

[Top Boy]

Stopped giving a damn about whatever it was

 

[j671]

Don't worry about others opinions.Believe In Yourself.Dont count on anyone but yourself.As far as the gym,BE PATIENT!! Been there and strived to get where I am now.Slow progress is better than no progress!!! Trust me when you get to your goal,you WILL look like a different person.Never give up and NEVER BREAK! Use that depression as motivation to get where you want to be!And be thankful to see another day.There are babies born that don't even make it to take their first breath of air

 

[AZwildcats]

Yes i have OP and still currently do. People are gonna say "get over it" in a couple different variations, but me and you both know it isn't that easy. Good luck man

 

[yeah]

All in all bro, stop watching TV, reading magazines, listening to music that tells you to be something you're not! Social media is the reason of culture insecurities.

All of this. OP, I was in the same boat as you. I felt inadequate, didn't know were I belonged, and always felt like no matter what I did I would never really find my center and find my "lifelong" group of friends. I gained a lot of weight (was about 300 at my worst) and would avoid pictures, make excuses on why I couldn't do things, and in general was pretty much a whiny little B. I have a long history of depression and I felt like the light at the end of the tunnel was getting dimmer and dimmer.

I realized I had to make a change. I stopped hanging out with "friends" that would clown me and were just all around a-holes to me and others, started eating better, began a training regiment (not just going to the gym to do x amount of sets on y machine, but literally getting up at 6 everyday to do HIIT to the point I would puke,) and probably the most important of all, I started meditating. For me, really putting effort into meditation and taking the time to center myself and consciously being aware of what I was doing, how I was doing it, and the effects of my actions on my life really changed how I carried myself and my day-to-day interactions. Meditation got my mind to where it needed to be long before working out and getting into shape ever did, and soon enough, my body caught up with my mind.

I'm not sure where you're at OP, and I don't know if you're into meditation, but I would highly recommend that you try it. Even if its only for a week. http://www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/qanda06.htm and http://www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/basic-guide.htm will get you started. It feels weird at first, but it will help if you really put effort into it.

Of course, working out and eating healthy can do wonders too. And even if you decide not to try meditation, just eating a balance diet coupled with exercise can do tremendous things for you and your wellbeing.

 

[parada45]

Use the yambs as ur motivation

I was like you until I was like 23/24

Took me forever to get over it

I feel you

 

[hymen man]

I learned that working with the negatives.... could make for better pictures.

 

[krazy88s]

Use the yambs as ur motivation

How can he do that? He has a problem with his image, no?

 

[parada45]

How can he do that? He has a problem with his image, no?

Has to get over it

You have to work with what you have

 

[sunshineblotters]

Pics

No. I have done that in a thread before (not on NT). It ends up making for a pity party. This is not that. I am seeking help. If you are the most handsome guy in the world but still feel like **** it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks

Yes i have OP and still currently do. People are gonna say "get over it" in a couple different variations, but me and you both know it isn't that easy. Good luck man

Basically. I never thought anyone would understand

Use the yambs as ur motivation

I was like you until I was like 23/24

Took me forever to get over it

I feel you

I am 24. I've actually gotten worse. IDK if I was just lying to myself but I didnt care up until I was 19ish. I am better in the aspect that I am comfortable with who I am as a person. I used to hate who I am, despite being a good person, because I didnt match society's expectations of what a black man should be. Expectations from both blacks and whites. I could get over what whites thought of me. Couldnt accept the fact that blacks opinion of what I should be wasnt any better. That's what truly hurt. But I am over it.

 

[peniskowski]

Get a fresh cut from a Dominican barber named Juanito Carlito. Your self-esteem will immediately sky rocket into confidence = yambz

 

[sunshineblotters]

What if I told you this is not just about yambz? Part of it is but not all of it. Not even most of it.

 

[af1 1982]

Lifting helped my self esteem a lot.

When dudes grill you from far away an when you get close they stare at the floor because they have come to the realization that you are capable of physical dominating them. Best feeling in the world.

 

[Mark Antony]

i.e. everyone. Don't know, I think it depends on your level of maturity, awareness of your value and the people around you, and inner strength. Sometimes it's just timing for everything to come together, you just can never stop working on it.

 

[Humbled]

OP I know EXACTLY where you're coming from 100%. I still to this day have days where I feel like I look like Quazimoto when i've never been told I'm ugly a day in my life.

Like people said in here, if you can change it then try. Keep lifting, etc as long as it makes you feel better. Hell, I'm using rogaine on my face because i feel like ill get a confidence boost if i get facial hair

But at the end of the day, you're going to have to accept who you are. Just enjoy your life man, you only have one. When you're old, do you really wanna look back and say "damn, i could have had all those yambs when i was 24 but I was too self-conscious about my looks to get at women"?

Theres always going to be someone out there that will find you attractive, regardless of what you look like. You'll be straight fam.

Might wanna look at this thread I started too, it might help ya out: http://niketalk.com/t/573272/tips-on-dealing-with-social-awkwardness-anxiety/0_20

 

[sunshineblotters]

^Yah but I actually used to be called ugly ALL the time. Even by guys, even when I started college people where on that immature ****. People called me ugly at the first college party I went to.... ):

 

[yeah]

When dudes grill you from far away an when you get close they stare at the floor because they have come to the realization that you are capable of physical dominating them. Best feeling in the world.

+1

 

[Humbled]

^Yah but I actually used to be called ugly ALL the time. Even by guys, even when I started college people where on that immature ****. People called me ugly at the first college party I went to.... ):

Like I said, somebody will find you attractive regardless of what people say. You gotta get thick skin toward that type of **** b. What kind of personality do you have? You an outgoing guy? Funny dude? Or you quiet?

 

[Mark Antony]

Ugliest cat I know, inside and out gets yambs regularly, gotta work on that confidence. I've actually heard a chick laugh at him and say "I don't know where you get your confidence from looking like that" and he just laughed it off. Don't really like the dude, but he is confident.