Last Time You Crapped Yourself? Vol.Mudbutt

[Ox.]

about three years ago when i was 19 and drunk, i had to walk home from a party and was too drunk to tell if it was a fart or doo doo, i squeezed gently and doo doo came out, luckily i cut it before it became a log.

i trust no man who says they haven't **** their pants once as an adult

 

[ijumpman]

LOL, OP, what possessed you to make a thread about crapping your pants... I'm laughing at some of these stories but at the same time I'm like
View media item 196377

 

[championboyz7]

Never had but had many close calls.
My brother picked up me up early from school cause I told him I wasn't feeling good (i was notorious for lying so I can get picked up early ) only thing was this time it was serious. My stomach was KILLING me. And I NEVER drop a deuce outside my own a
Bathroom. He decided to go get a hair cut which was a 30 min drive from home and once we got there it was a 2 hours wait...I felt it coming out and had to use that restroom which was nasty . And then use another one in a dirty *** restaurant down the street
Next times weres at two different jobs in which I got nasty bubble guts while working and was FORCED to set up camp and use the restrooms there luckily they were clean .

so basically your war stories are about successful away games w/o hilarity ensuing?

I mean. ..it says IVE HAD A FEW CLOSE CALLS. Thank god I haven't been in dire situations YET. ..

 

[xbiker47]

never pooped myself..but i remember in the 3rd grade i was in class and i felt the gopher poppin out..

eyes watery,standing real straight trying not to move then i snipped the turtle head..

it was chillin in my undies for a lil bit, we had just read stone soup so we had to make our own stews with ingredients we brought from home..come to think of it we always were making food in that class...
teacher was a fat lady...

anyway..i now had this little golfball sized turd rolling in my power ranger undies..i tried to pull on them to release it but the elastic made it difficult..i ended smushing a little bit of it..

i pretended to go sharpen my pencil and i just stuck my hand thru my zipper and let it fall down to where my ankle was..

i walked back towards my group lifted my pant leg a lil bit and let it roll out by a nearby group of kids..noone saw me..

we were done with our group project then i heard someone scream....ewwwwwwwww

some kid stepped in it and then everyone started freaking out..

what is it!!! and i just chilled at my seat eating my soup like a boss 

One of the best stories ive read in a while

 

[az5950]

the metaphors in this thread are priceless son

 

[cj003]

ALMOST.

Junior year of college. I was on a slight cold streak w/ the yambs, but there was a party that night and I had a good feeling something would happen. My and my neighbors decided to get the usual late night drunk food BEFORE the party. I kill the o so delicious, but sketchy, Mexican food. Pre-game for a bit, then hit the party. The bad latina is breaking me off on the dance floor. We get to talking, she tells me she wants to go back to my place after the party. We keep dancing and BOOM. That Jose Bernstein mexican food starts throwing jabs at my stomach. I start sweating hard. I tell the chick i'll be right back I have to go to the bathroom. I try to find a bathroom, but there is a long *** line and I couldn't let the entire party see me destroy the bathroom.

I say F it, im getting the yambs and decide I can hold it. Two steps back to the chick and I realize I can't hold it. We make eye contact, I freeze. I wave at her then regretfully run out the door. I am about a mile away from my dorm and I know i cannot make it back. Its getting so bad that I have now taken off my shirt and am dripping w/ sweat. At this point I'm looking for backyards to take a dump in a la Friday. There are too many people out, so I continue my sprint. I finally run into a cab drive. I'm screaming while begging him for a ride. He tells me he is off duty. I'm begging at this point. I tell him I have 4 dollars and will pay him anything he wants when I get there. He finally says yes, Im screaming at him to go faster the entire ride. He's screaming back at me. He pulls up and I throw the 4 dollars at him. I run into my apartment w/o a shirt, dripping sweat. At this point I have broken out in hives and my roomates are looking at me in shock. I sprint to the bathroom and unleash hell.

 

[big atz]

I was 18 years old. So I had got into my first bit of major trouble so I had to do a few nights in the county jail. So before I got transfered to booking I had to sit in this booking room and they were giving out bologna sandwiches. In retrospect I should've none something wasn't right because everybody was using theirs to lay on for pillows. So I eat my two and start contemplating what I'm gonna do about my job.

About a hour goes past and my stomach starts to bubble mind you I'm in a bullpen full of dudes and one open toilet so now my mind switches over to how I'm gonna handle this situation. I'm asking the other people how long we have to wait before we get switched over and they are saying it's gonna be awhile. So I try to hold it for as long as possible but my stomach had other plans I try to let a fart slip out to relieve some of the stress. When I let it go a nice size piece came out so I waddle over to this toilet to finish the job. As I'm walking the turd starts to roll down my pants leg so I shake it out and keep moving to the toilet to finish the job.

 

[916kid]

lets say i don't trust farts anymore.

fart with caution

 

[dos]

The last time was vicious.

I was in DC visiting some family. My pops decided that it would be a good idea to head over to this lobster shack 20 minutes away from the crib. We are taking this drive in rush hour traffic mind you. So during the drive to the shack I'm taking a nap, and when finally we get to the restaurant I order some of the best lobster I've ever had in my life. I'm eating it up. I'm feeling the spices and getting that butter in the mix. Finally I finish eating and I feel my stomach bothering me. This is normal for me, and I have no idea why restaurant food hurts my stomach, but it does. I decide to drop a duece before we leave. I do the deed, and I'm feeling confident that I'll make it back.

I get in the car. My dad is driving, my grandma is in the passenger seat, and I'm in the backseat sitting next to my sister and my friend. I was feeling kind of tight. My sister and I get into an argument, and then all of a sudden my stomach starts hurting again. I start panicing. B.M.F comes on the radio, and every Lex Luger bass drop is getting to me. I start screaming at my dad to drive faster. I'm pushing my sister to give me more room. I'm screaming at everyone in the car. Eventually my dad is going to fast that my grandma starts to panic and tells him to slow down. I TELL HIM NO. DON'T SLOW DOWN. I start feeling myself, and I start rapping with Rick Ross. Every "HUH" he says I say with him. Every time he says he's big meech, I say I'm Larry Hoover. The AC was on, and I was sweating too hard. At this point everyone is crying of laughter except my grandma because she is terrified. My Dad mocks me by looking back in the rearview mirror and crying of laughter. I couldn't believe it. We pull up like 2 blocks from the house and it was over. I tell them that it's too late. It's over. I let out the hugest sighs of my life. I had to sit in my **** for 2 blocks, and the walk over to the door you best believe I had my cheeks clenched. That shower was too degrading.

 

[88th]

Back in the 4th grade. I used to be deathly afraid of going in a public bathroom, even if it were clean. One day after recess I was feeling the bubble guts but thought whatever about it but then I started farting and I felt my pants become squirmy in my butt area so I asked to go to the bathroom. I went to the bathroom and I had mud all over my boxers man it was bad. I pooped for a few mins but didn't let it all out (I didn't want to be out for too long cause people would know I was taking a dump). After I was done I threw my dirty boxers into the trash can in the bathroom

. So after I got some out, I rushed back to my classroom. As soon as I got back, I sat down and felt the dhiarea rush back to me so I rushed out while screaming to my teacher that I forgot to wash my hands

I smelled a little like poop for the rest of the day

One of my friends in middle school told me almost the exact same story.

 

[upstatehustla]

The last time was vicious.
I was in DC visiting some family. My pops decided that it would be a good idea to head over to this lobster shack 20 minutes away from the crib. We are taking this drive in rush hour traffic mind you. So during the drive to the shack I'm taking a nap, and when finally we get to the restaurant I order some of the best lobster I've ever had in my life. I'm eating it up. I'm feeling the spices and getting that butter in the mix. Finally I finish eating and I feel my stomach bothering me. This is normal for me, and I have no idea why restaurant food hurts my stomach, but it does. I decide to drop a duece before we leave. I do the deed, and I'm feeling confident that I'll make it back.
I get in the car. My dad is driving, my grandma is in the passenger seat, and I'm in the backseat sitting next to my sister and my friend. I was feeling kind of tight. My sister and I get into an argument, and then all of a sudden my stomach starts hurting again. I start panicing. B.M.F comes on the radio, and every Lex Luger bass drop is getting to me. I start screaming at my dad to drive faster. I'm pushing my sister to give me more room. I'm screaming at everyone in the car. Eventually my dad is going to fast that my grandma starts to panic and tells him to slow down. I TELL HIM NO. DON'T SLOW DOWN. I start feeling myself, and I start rapping with Rick Ross. Every "HUH" he says I say with him. Every time he says he's big meech, I say I'm Larry Hoover. The AC was on, and I was sweating too hard. At this point everyone is crying of laughter except my grandma because she is terrified. My Dad mocks me by looking back in the rearview mirror and crying of laughter. I couldn't believe it. We pull up like 2 blocks from the house and it was over. I tell them that it's too late. It's over. I let out the hugest sighs of my life. I had to sit in my **** for 2 blocks, and the walk over to the door you best believe I had my cheeks clenched. That shower was too degrading.

YOOO YOU HAD ME DYINNNNNNNNN !!! LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO 

 

[jking0821]

God some of these stories

I have had a ton of close calls but I have gone in strange places to avoid it I honesty have no shame id rather just jump into a bush and crap in it then go all over myself.

 

[nickthesneakerkid]

I'm in absolute tears! It literally took me over 5 minutes to get through some of these stories.

 

[da doc03]

driving home from work a couple months ago, decided to float an air biscuit while singing some old school, the biscuit came with gravy

 

[angeezy]

thanks for the lulz

 

[aveezythebeast]

at these stories!

The only time, back innnnnn i think 10th grade, i snuck out my window one night to go kick it with my girl at her place. So after awhile we get hungry n we decide to stop at taco bell and grab the Grande taco meal which is like 10 Soft tacos and you know we were loaded with the Fire sauce. She ends up only eating 3 i eat the rest. Then add a shot of jose and a and i was good except for the fact that my stomach was starting to hurt. I think nothing of it and check my watch and finally decide after stalling for so long that i need to get back home. Separating her place from mine is a Street, a football field, and then my neighborhood houses. I always ran to and from her house because that was my daily run other than hoopin. I leave her place and start to jogging but then again the pain hits me, as if i had been running for miles and i catch a cramp. Then i knew i was in for some trouble cuz i start farting those silent whispers; and those are the worst cuz they smell like rotten eggs. At this point Im hurtin so bad, running across the street clinchin and trying to maintain some steady breathing. Guts are bubbling big time i couldnt hold it, thank God i didnt try to use her bathroom else the whole house would have been straight sewage. Finally i say F it and right in the middle of the football field i pop a squat and super sayian that ish out of my *** with a blasting force. My new Forces were F'd and my socks got sprayed from the grass back fire... I snuck out the house remember so here i am trying wash my *** at 3 in the am lol....that private school i know had practice the next morning

 

[$tacy]

Smh I told myself I would never speak on it again but **** it. Like 9th grade me n the homies pulled the bball rim to the street n got out hoop on like usual. It was a odd # of us so we get a game of 21 going, mind u this is fresh off of our mcdonalds trip. The game is close all of us had like 15-17 so me being me, I had to find a way to get a win. Idk why but the moment I eat for the next hour I can fart on que, I mean even today I can idk. So every shot that goes up I let go a loud *** fart at release. I mean im talking those nutty professor dinner table joints, the kind where yo *** get kinda sore after (pause). So the homies are crying laughing, barely can get the shot up. Then the unthinkable happened! U ever have a bad feeling about some **** but it worked this long so u say f it n do it anyway? Thats what kinda happened. One of the homies had 20 n was at the line n idk if it was the multi tasking of fighting for a rebound n farting all in one motion but some how a log of **** shot out my *** hole, so me being human I clinched my cheeks tight, like I was fresh meat on the line.

Next thing u kno this monster breaks in half n I kid u not a lil doo doo ball fell out the side of my shorts. I literally wanted to dive n smack it out of bounds or some **** idk but it seemed like that **** was falling in slow motion. So I did what anyone in my situation wouldve did.... I kicked that ***** to the grass but too bad they saw that **** (pun). They circle around it like "ewww yo whats that?" By the time they looked back up I was running up my stairs to the shower.

Never lived that **** down smh, but the worse part is when moms saw those ****** drawers in the dumpster smh

 

[jbpkickz]

The last time was vicious.

I was in DC visiting some family. My pops decided that it would be a good idea to head over to this lobster shack 20 minutes away from the crib. We are taking this drive in rush hour traffic mind you. So during the drive to the shack I'm taking a nap, and when finally we get to the restaurant I order some of the best lobster I've ever had in my life. I'm eating it up. I'm feeling the spices and getting that butter in the mix. Finally I finish eating and I feel my stomach bothering me. This is normal for me, and I have no idea why restaurant food hurts my stomach, but it does. I decide to drop a duece before we leave. I do the deed, and I'm feeling confident that I'll make it back.

I get in the car. My dad is driving, my grandma is in the passenger seat, and I'm in the backseat sitting next to my sister and my friend. I was feeling kind of tight. My sister and I get into an argument, and then all of a sudden my stomach starts hurting again. I start panicing. B.M.F comes on the radio, and every Lex Luger bass drop is getting to me. I start screaming at my dad to drive faster. I'm pushing my sister to give me more room. I'm screaming at everyone in the car. Eventually my dad is going to fast that my grandma starts to panic and tells him to slow down. I TELL HIM NO. DON'T SLOW DOWN. I start feeling myself, and I start rapping with Rick Ross. Every "HUH" he says I say with him. Every time he says he's big meech, I say I'm Larry Hoover. The AC was on, and I was sweating too hard. At this point everyone is crying of laughter except my grandma because she is terrified. My Dad mocks me by looking back in the rearview mirror and crying of laughter. I couldn't believe it. We pull up like 2 blocks from the house and it was over. I tell them that it's too late. It's over. I let out the hugest sighs of my life. I had to sit in my **** for 2 blocks, and the walk over to the door you best believe I had my cheeks clenched. That shower was too degrading.

I died at the bmf part

 

[Comparison Ford]

I don't even care that it's only January 2nd. This has " Thread of the Year" written all over it.

 

[dallassneakerhead08]

ALMOST.
Junior year of college. I was on a slight cold streak w/ the yambs, but there was a party that night and I had a good feeling something would happen. My and my neighbors decided to get the usual late night drunk food BEFORE the party. I kill the o so delicious, but sketchy, Mexican food. Pre-game for a bit, then hit the party. The bad latina is breaking me off on the dance floor. We get to talking, she tells me she wants to go back to my place after the party. We keep dancing and BOOM. That Jose Bernstein mexican food starts throwing jabs at my stomach. I start sweating hard. I tell the chick i'll be right back I have to go to the bathroom. I try to find a bathroom, but there is a long *** line and I couldn't let the entire party see me destroy the bathroom.
I say F it, im getting the yambs and decide I can hold it. Two steps back to the chick and I realize I can't hold it. We make eye contact, I freeze. I wave at her then regretfully run out the door. I am about a mile away from my dorm and I know i cannot make it back. Its getting so bad that I have now taken off my shirt and am dripping w/ sweat. At this point I'm looking for backyards to take a dump in a la Friday. There are too many people out, so I continue my sprint. I finally run into a cab drive. I'm screaming while begging him for a ride. He tells me he is off duty. I'm begging at this point. I tell him I have 4 dollars and will pay him anything he wants when I get there. He finally says yes, Im screaming at him to go faster the entire ride. He's screaming back at me. He pulls up and I throw the 4 dollars at him. I run into my apartment w/o a shirt, dripping sweat. At this point I have broken out in hives and my roomates are looking at me in shock. I sprint to the bathroom and unleash hell.

 

[crystalmethod]

Awe man

Y'all got me in tears.. Ive had to stop reading multiple stories cause I was laughing so hard

 

[teamjordan79]

Prior to flying back from Cairo, we went to a pretty upscale italian restaurant. Ordered the seafood pasta by mistake. Even though I knew not to mess with any fish and seafood in Nile region, i didn't think much of it since the place seemed legit. Also smoked some hash before as well. Long story short, I get to the airport and start feeling pretty sick as the guts begin to bubble like a cauldron. So here I am high and food-poisoned, waiting on my 6 hr flight back home. Somehow I got back home without any mishaps even though it was the most miserable trip of my life. I immediately crash and fall asleep. Wake up a few hrs later and I realize Im swimming in doo doo. :x A lesson was learned that day.

 

[fraij da 5 11]

Bruh in like 2006 I had a job at Killington Mtn in VT... I got to work at like 5am and was walking in the door... Had my stomach going all morning and before I got inside I tried to let out a fart.  Well it wasn't a fart and I had that greasy drizzle all up in my boxers

...

I had to take them ****s off and throw them away in the dumpster bro.  Was in the bathroom ALLLLL day long.  People at work didn't know what the hell I was doin but I damn well wasn't gonna tell em I had **** my pants.

 

[ucancallmerell]

I was 18 years old. So I had got into my first bit of major trouble so I had to do a few nights in the county jail. So before I got transfered to booking I had to sit in this booking room and they were giving out bologna sandwiches. In retrospect I should've none something wasn't right because everybody was using theirs to lay on for pillows. So I eat my two and start contemplating what I'm gonna do about my job.
About a hour goes past and my stomach starts to bubble mind you I'm in a bullpen full of dudes and one open toilet so now my mind switches over to how I'm gonna handle this situation. I'm asking the other people how long we have to wait before we get switched over and they are saying it's gonna be awhile. So I try to hold it for as long as possible but my stomach had other plans I try to let a fart slip out to relieve some of the stress. When I let it go a nice size piece came out so I waddle over to this toilet to finish the job. As I'm walking the turd starts to roll down my pants leg so I shake it out and keep moving to the toilet to finish the job.

Lmaooooo you nasty bruh!

 

[lobotomybeats]

Either you guys are geriatrics or you all use Alli