NT Player and Ladies Men I need advice on how to attract/ date women!

Joined Feb 25, 2005
As I sit here home alone on a Saturday night, I can't help but be angry at myself. I just graduated from college with honors and I started my first big jobin my field of study. The position is a great launching point for my career; it pays well, puts me on the fast track for promotion, and it gives me enough freetime to pick up some hobbies I hadn't had time for while in school. I'm very satisfied with these aspects of my life and the direction they are goingin. However after some self-reflection tonight, I realized I haven't succeeded in a one area of my life and that is with women. I simple don'tunderstand women (and no that wasn't intended to be a joke). I don't seem to understand the concepts of: approaching, flirting, and creating attractionto successfully date women. I am simply at a loss as to how to do these social things with women in a way to build romantic/ physical relationships with them.I'm at a point now in my life where I seem to have every other aspect in control accept for this one. Honestly, I'm tired of it and I think it's apretty stupid problem to have, but it's a problem nonetheless and its one that I'm determined to solve!

So here is a little background about me to help you understand me. I'm a 24-year-old male, I have never had a steady girl friend in my life, and I rarelygo on dates. I am not a virgin. I have dated a few women from periods of 1 - 4 months but never more. The reason for the breakups are never exactly the samebut I seem to do something to make the girls lose interest or I somehow manage to complicate things. What makes my situation rather unique, compared to otherguys with dating troubles is that I am rather good looking. I'm fit, I dress very well, and I've even done some modeling in the past. So I don'tbelieve that my looks have anything to do with my dating troubles. I know that girls can be intimidated by a good looking guy just like guys can be intimidatedby good looking girls, and that may very well have happened in some of my failed attempts, but I have learned that my looks have caused me troubles in adifferent way, I'll explain.....

Most of my past experiences with women, have developed simply because the girls find me attractive physically. They make obvious advances and a very forwardwith there intensions (sometimes they just flat out tell me hey your hot!!). So I don't really have to apply any type of charm, technique, or skill togetting her phone number or initiate a dating situation. So your asking, what the hell is the problem here buddy. The problem is these women assume I am, whatI have learned is referred to as an alpha male (a man that is a smooth, confident seducer/ player), which is something I only appear to be physically. Oncethey start dating me they quickly come to realize I am in fact not an alpha male because I don't poses those character traits a charmer/ player shouldhave. I simply have never developed that skill set (my friends joke me all the time calling me the pretty boy with no game). As a result these women lose theirattraction and the relationship quickly comes to an end. I can't tell you how many times I've been dating a beautiful girl and I feel things are goingwell, perhaps we've even done the deed a few times, and BAM!!! she pulls a complete 180 on me saying things changed. Sometimes this happens very soon andother times I see her slowly losing her attraction and I am powerless to stop it. I've tried to be nice, I've tried to be a +*+*!!! I've tried tojust play it cool. I've tried to not care. None of these techniques and mindsets have had any success for me. I feel as if something in my personality ormy approach is slightly off and it eventually ruins it all for me. I'm basically at a point where I don't know what to try anymore.

I've asked my close friends and I've even asked some of the past women I've dated for some advice or guidence. None of the them have ever beenreally able to give me a straight answer as to what I do wrong or that x factor that I seem to be missing to tie it all together. One commonality they all feltI was a bit too shy/ stand offish. Now, I've never really felt as though I am shy and I certainly don't feel it on the inside while in socialsituations with women, (only rarely with very very beautiful women can I honestly say I feel nervous, but other then that its rare) but none the less I seem toproject with my actions and body language perhaps that I am shy. It doesn't really matter if it's true or not because I have learned women will believewhat they perceive and not what is necessarily the truth. Another commonality, I've been told I don't talk much, now I will admit I am a man of fewword and it has often been misinterpreted as being rude, or conceded. I also have a strong feeling this also adds to the "shy vibe" I mentionedbefore. It's not that I don't talk, I just don't blab on and on about stuff. I've read that your supposed to choose your words carefully withwomen and to keep things light always, have them talking about themselves, so I thought my being a man of few words would be a benefit. Yet it hasn't, itsjust hurt me in the long run and people seem to assume that worst about me. I really don't know how to turn this particular perception about me around. Ijust haven't learned what is the happy medium between talking too little and talking just enough.

So to conclude this long story, I guess I'm looking some basic guideline on a few things.

First, how can I tell if a woman is interested in me if she isn't an obvious flirt? Secondly, how do I start a conversation with her to make her have aninstant attraction to my personality and not just my looks? And finally, how do I maintain a high attraction level on our first few dates/ early stages ofdating so I can have a relationship last longer then a week to a month?

Ideally, I'm not looking to be a player/ Casanova (although that would be nice, LOL). I really just want to be able to attract women so I can date oftenand have several options. I'd like to feel the confidence of knowing I could get a girls number if I simple wanted to and not just by luck like I have inthe past. I don't what to continue to fail anymore; I'm tired of it!

Any and all advice you have for me is greatly appreciated. I'm willing to try anything and I'm a quick learner when I receive some good directions.Thank's everyone for reading my long story and for your help!
Joined Mar 16, 2008
Saturday? its tuesday here...

i started to read it but got bored...basically you want help on how to attract/keep women???

be yourself and the girl who is right for you will come by...

Joined Nov 29, 2007
yeahI just read all that
what I get from that is that you are struggling a bit with your identity.
Do things to make you happy and stop thinking about what women want, work on improving yourself and everything elsewill fall into place
Joined May 25, 2008
i read a good portion until my brain refused to go any further.

It seems like you just have a very bland personality. Your just a boring person and that's not even a bad thing. It all depends on what your your lookingfor.

If I were you I would worry about living life and growing personally then worry about females. It seems like you don't have problems pulling girls butkeeping them. Trust me man you will eventually get to the point where you'll be praying that some of these girls just lost interest

Your only 24 don't force long term commitments on your self until your ready.
Joined Oct 14, 2004

and I'm not even trying to be funny. this is something you can't really be taught fam. godspeed and good fortune my dude
Joined Nov 4, 2008
I'd say, just talk to people on a regular basis, such as make it a daily routine. So that you could easily start conversation
Joined May 11, 2004
im not readin that but if ur still not smashin @ that age look into online dating or something. no shame in going that route if u meet a nice girl fromeharmony. maybe u need to smash that one chick to get some swag and learn ab how the game goes.
Top Bottom
  AdBlock Detected

Sure, ad-blocking software does a great job at blocking ads, but it also blocks some useful and important features of our website. For the best possible site experience please take a moment to disable your AdBlocker or head over to our upgrade page to donate for an ad-free experience Upgrade now