Official mental health and group therapy thread. Get it off your chest

[stuntman mike]

i was a heavy alcoholic and ice user for many years. been clean for over 15 years. work in a substance abuse treatment center as a certified substance abuse counselor. have had lengthy discussions through PM with a few NT members and my inbox is open to anyone who wants to ask questions and have their confidentiality maintained.

 

[dauldierce]

Practice will give you confidence and comfort.  You lack of confidence comes from a lack of preparation.  Also remember those students don't care man about you so relax.  They are nervous too. F's aren't cool

Im always prepared with the information. but i cant go through with it. you dont understand. hands shaking violently, kness weak, light headed, stomach hurting and cant even move right.

 

[ohhboy]

I get small anxiety when talking with friends. Idk why it just happens plus it doesnt help that i dont speak much. Everyone keeps telling me to come out my shell but i like being low key but i do wish for change.

 

[antonlavey]

Solid thread OP, I'll try to help out when I have time.

Anyone can PM me anytime to talk.

 

[riverdale road]

Yeah it's good to talk to someone a friend or a parent. I usually talk to my moms. My anxiety came back recently because I got married. Getting married was freaking me out. But talking to my moms everyday really helps.

 

[freeze]

I've been sad as hell since me and my girl broke up. It's going on 2 months and I'm still aching smh. I really should be able to move on, I have a ton of things going for me, I've been blessed beyond belief, and women always show me love like crazy, but, I'm not interested them. I only want her, so it's eating away at me that we broke up. I've tried my hardest to get her back..to no avail. A couple months back she found some pictures of a female in my email, I forgot to delete them, (she wasnt snooping, we were out of town and she wanted to get online and check her email on my tablet, I forgot all about the pix, and i was still logged on when she got it.) The girl just randomly sent them to me, we hadnt talked since before me and my girl got together, so that was like 8 months. I've never cheated on her, but she just couldnt get over that. She just couldnt grasp that females do foul weird ish sometimes, unprovoked. Said I destroyed her trust. Which is crazy because I didn't do anything smh. So she says she just can't get over it, so we cant be together. I love this girl every way possible, thought about marriage, kids, building a home, and it just kills me that because of some BS, I've lost her. ughhhhh. This pain, just doesn't seem to go away, it hurts deep down in the very fabric of who I am. I just dont want to end up being one of those old guys that always remembers the one that got away.

So these pics were sent before you were together, or just randomly sent to you without you asking? Either way, your girlfriend should have understood that you didn't betray her. And I don't wanna get all Drake sappy R&B on you , but I know what you mean about talking to other girls but knowing that it's her that you only really want. Like do you still get that feeling around her that is the same as when you first met her?

just randomly sent without me asking. They didnt mean anything to me when i got them, just opened and closed. it was like 2-3 emails. 2 were of shorty face, the 3rd was her in a swimsuit, with the view coming from the head looking down, all you see is bewbz...of course thats the one my girl found..smh. she just sent them out the blue. but like i said, i thought nothing of them, didnt even think to delete them. so when my girl came upon them, one of her issues was i kept them so i could continue looking at them. smh. it was all bad man. i'm like damn, can a brotha get the benefit of a doubt?

But yea bro, once females found out i was single again, they've just been throwing themselves at me. I mean I'm a good looking guy, work out all the time, great job, home, money, personality. I'm crazy generous with my girl. Passionate, all that good stuff that females love. And the birds are flocking...but to me...they're just in the way when I only want her. Of course, I know as a man I must move on. It's not looking like much success will be had if I just keep hoping and waiting. So I must work to let her go. It's unfortunate though, for the both of us. As much as I loved and cared for the way she made me feel, I know that I was good for her too. Exposed her to things most guys don't even have the ability to do. So I'm not the only loser in the breakup. She just may not see it yet. I have no bitterness or anger though. I try not to let those types of feelings and thoughts enter my mind. I'm still a fairly happy guy, despite my post breakup sadness. And I still wish her happiness, even if it's not with me.



I will say one thing that's been helping me feel better and happier...is honestly....helping others to feel better. This whole breakup, for me, was a blessing in disguise. It gave me an entire new outlook on life and love, relationships. It's rejuvenated me so to speak. I'm nicer now, more patient, more loving. My heart is softer. I find love and happiness in all things, and I want to share that with everyone I meet. I used to be like this when I was young, but, growing up I conformed to society, and the cutthroat business world and my environment, and just became overall colder. But I'm getting back to whom I once was. Just that happy-go-lucky guy. On the inside I'm still that same kid that just wanted to make the lunch table laugh. My successes in business and social circles gave me an ego and made me prideful. And colder and meaner to people. It made me feel as if I was better than others and that most relationships were a waste of my time if I couldn't use them to get something. I was basically living out the 48 Laws. But I'm at a point now, my mind is so open...I love talking to people. I wouldn't wish the pain I feel on anybody in this world. And it actually hurts me now when I see others in bad predicaments. I don't want people to struggle. I love seeing people happy in relationships and I always wish them the best. I value all the little things now. It's funny, but the type of mental change I've gone through typically only happens when you have a near death experience. lol. But I can truly say I'm a different guy. I want to be remembered for more than just money and looks. I want to touch the heart of everybody I come in contact with. I want them to remember me for how I made them feel. I want to make the world around me happy. So I must be better...I must be, so that I can be better for others. So if I need to listen, if you need to talk and truly be heard, it's my duty to give you that time because I've been blessed with the ability to do so. Heavy is the head that wears the crown...but I have a strong neck.

It's unfortunate I had to lose the love of my life to start turning into the man I was meant to be..but such is life. And outside force had to be strong enough to change my direction. It's the Law of Inertia..



one of my favorite quotes is from Ovid..."To be loved...be lovable". I live by this.

 

[jordanscrub]

School is killing me


Finals

 

[goldenticket21]

I suffer from anxiety. Over analyzing every situation and trying to find the worst case scenario. Particularly when im having chest pains, I always think Im having a heart attack which in turns leads to a panic attack. All started when my step father died from a Heartattack while driving last October. Work is always stressful , which doesn't help. Had an EKG and Blood Pressure test done, everything came back fine. It's all mental. But it really hinders me at times.

 

[brainwashed21]

just randomly sent without me asking. They didnt mean anything to me when i got them, just opened and closed. it was like 2-3 emails. 2 were of shorty face, the 3rd was her in a swimsuit, with the view coming from the head looking down, all you see is bewbz...of course thats the one my girl found..smh. she just sent them out the blue. but like i said, i thought nothing of them, didnt even think to delete them. so when my girl came upon them, one of her issues was i kept them so i could continue looking at them. smh. it was all bad man. i'm like damn, can a brotha get the benefit of a doubt?
But yea bro, once females found out i was single again, they've just been throwing themselves at me. I mean I'm a good looking guy, work out all the time, great job, home, money, personality. I'm crazy generous with my girl. Passionate, all that good stuff that females love. And the birds are flocking...but to me...they're just in the way when I only want her. Of course, I know as a man I must move on. It's not looking like much success will be had if I just keep hoping and waiting. So I must work to let her go. It's unfortunate though, for the both of us. As much as I loved and cared for the way she made me feel, I know that I was good for her too. Exposed her to things most guys don't even have the ability to do. So I'm not the only loser in the breakup. She just may not see it yet. I have no bitterness or anger though. I try not to let those types of feelings and thoughts enter my mind. I'm still a fairly happy guy, despite my post breakup sadness. And I still wish her happiness, even if it's not with me.
I will say one thing that's been helping me feel better and happier...is honestly....helping others to feel better. This whole breakup, for me, was a blessing in disguise. It gave me an entire new outlook on life and love, relationships. It's rejuvenated me so to speak. I'm nicer now, more patient, more loving. My heart is softer. I find love and happiness in all things, and I want to share that with everyone I meet. I used to be like this when I was young, but, growing up I conformed to society, and the cutthroat business world and my environment, and just became overall colder. But I'm getting back to whom I once was. Just that happy-go-lucky guy. On the inside I'm still that same kid that just wanted to make the lunch table laugh. My successes in business and social circles gave me an ego and made me prideful. And colder and meaner to people. It made me feel as if I was better than others and that most relationships were a waste of my time if I couldn't use them to get something. I was basically living out the 48 Laws. But I'm at a point now, my mind is so open...I love talking to people. I wouldn't wish the pain I feel on anybody in this world. And it actually hurts me now when I see others in bad predicaments. I don't want people to struggle. I love seeing people happy in relationships and I always wish them the best. I value all the little things now. It's funny, but the type of mental change I've gone through typically only happens when you have a near death experience. lol. But I can truly say I'm a different guy. I want to be remembered for more than just money and looks. I want to touch the heart of everybody I come in contact with. I want them to remember me for how I made them feel. I want to make the world around me happy. So I must be better...I must be, so that I can be better for others. So if I need to listen, if you need to talk and truly be heard, it's my duty to give you that time because I've been blessed with the ability to do so. Heavy is the head that wears the crown...but I have a strong neck.
It's unfortunate I had to lose the love of my life to start turning into the man I was meant to be..but such is life. And outside force had to be strong enough to change my direction. It's the Law of Inertia..
one of my favorite quotes is from Ovid..."To be loved...be lovable". I live by this.

applause* 

 

[knightlovesqueen]

Real talk if anyone ever needs to talk about anything no matter how big or small it may seem pm me and I'll give you my number. I'm all ears even if you need to vent or just want someone to listen to you.

good stuff bro.

same thing here

 

[slaptastic]

Posting for later.

 

[216301baller]

my past and my myself are the reasons I feel terrible at times..I always think someone is judging me n thinkin somethib bad about me..it seems like no one understands me beside my parents n best friend

 

[j2legend]

I'm not sure why I'm depressed. I have everything I want in the world, however I am very sad most of the time.
But what I've begun to realize is that all my confidence and happiness comes from my girl. However, we've been fighting alot lately. (started alot when she finally crossed for her lameass sorority.) But when she starts being rude and mean to me I get sad.
It's probably because she was my first everything.. and in high school, I liked like 4 girls, but they didn't give me the time of day.. I went to a private school with predominately white kids my whole life, ( k-8 ) (then high school) and the girls were always cool, but they didn't want anything to do with the indian kid..
So I got a lot of racism growing up. It also didn't help that I was kind of overweight.. So no confidence from anywhere.
I was good at ball, so that was the only thing that I got props for.
Fast forward to three years ago, I met my current girlfriend, she was the nicest person, most beautiful, man I tell you, she was actually nice to me.. So essentially she was the first girl to give me the time of day. We were each other's firsts. and the journey we've gone through to today was great..
But ever since she got ucla, and especially joined her sorority she's just been different.
sorry for the long text

Have you ever tried sitting down and having a chat with her? I don't think anyone needs to be disrespected for any reason. Especially by a significant other. IMO, you should only surround yourself with people who are positive and will give you a boost in life. Negative energy from individuals is never healthy. But if you love her, you should talk to her and work things out, don't give in to her attitude. If things don't improve, you should consider cutting her loose. It'll be good for you in the long run. But that's just my .02.

 

[knightlovesqueen]

I'm not sure why I'm depressed. I have everything I want in the world, however I am very sad most of the time.
But what I've begun to realize is that all my confidence and happiness comes from my girl. However, we've been fighting alot lately. (started alot when she finally crossed for her lameass sorority.) But when she starts being rude and mean to me I get sad.
It's probably because she was my first everything.. and in high school, I liked like 4 girls, but they didn't give me the time of day.. I went to a private school with predominately white kids my whole life, ( k-8 ) (then high school) and the girls were always cool, but they didn't want anything to do with the indian kid..
So I got a lot of racism growing up. It also didn't help that I was kind of overweight.. So no confidence from anywhere.
I was good at ball, so that was the only thing that I got props for.
Fast forward to three years ago, I met my current girlfriend, she was the nicest person, most beautiful, man I tell you, she was actually nice to me.. So essentially she was the first girl to give me the time of day. We were each other's firsts. and the journey we've gone through to today was great..
But ever since she got ucla, and especially joined her sorority she's just been different.
sorry for the long text

Have you ever tried sitting down and having a chat with her? I don't think anyone needs to be disrespected for any reason. Especially by a significant other. IMO, you should only surround yourself with people who are positive and will give you a boost in life. Negative energy from individuals is never healthy. But if you love her, you should talk to her and work things out, don't give in to her attitude. If things don't improve, you should consider cutting her loose. It'll be good for you in the long run. But that's just my .02.

only when he faces his demons from within can he heal the demons from the outside

 

[royal assassin]

yo sometimes randomly and out of nowhere i get the feeling something bad is gonna happen and i start freakin and have to get away from wherever i am.  like this morning was walking my dog on the high school field and just all of a sudden felt over exposed like a sniper was training on me or some ****.  same thing happened once when i was in the grocery store parking lot headed back to my whip..just got that feeling.  i always chalked it up to having overactive imagination doe.

 

[riverdale road]

I suffer from anxiety. Over analyzing every situation and trying to find the worst case scenario. Particularly when im having chest pains, I always think Im having a heart attack which in turns leads to a panic attack. All started when my step father died from a Heartattack while driving last October. Work is always stressful , which doesn't help. Had an EKG and Blood Pressure test done, everything came back fine. It's all mental. But it really hinders me at times.

Bro I feel you. You feel like you dying. Then you be dizzy & light headed thinking you be about to fall over.

 

[knightlovesqueen]

transferred anxiety mixed w/ too much video games.

 

[goldenticket21]

Bro I feel you. You feel like you dying. Then you be dizzy & light headed thinking you be about to fall over.

Exactly! I go through hot flashes at times and nausea. Not a joke. I'm glad that NBA Rookie Royce White is really bringing awareness to this issue that people are facing. #AnxietyTrooper movement he started.

 

[mjgreatxii]

bro, ur girl does not respect u if she is being rude and mean to u like that.

u need to control the frame in the relationship.  don't put up with her bs.

but it might be too late.  don't be surprised if ur relationship get worse... i can see it happening.

the best thing to do is to start distancing urself from her.  start doing ur own thang.

start finding someone else who is more cooler to hang out with.

For no reason either man.. I do literally everything for this woman..

I have no confidence to go out and meet people to hang out with..
I moved out here to LA to be closer to her.. and now.. we barely kick it.

 

[sofa king awsm]

Exactly! I go through hot flashes at times and nausea. Not a joke. I'm glad that NBA Rookie Royce White is really bringing awareness to this issue that people are facing. #AnxietyTrooper movement he started.

royce
he knows dat feel

 

[jesusshuttlesworth34]

For no reason either man.. I do literally everything for this woman..
I have no confidence to go out and meet people to hang out with..
I moved out here to LA to be closer to her.. and now.. we barely kick it.

It sounds you have completely lost your own indentity and sense of self with this relationship. It is quite common for someone who does not know themselves yet to take on the identity of their partner and conform to a lot of their likes/dislikes. While it may be productive and positive at first......it tends to push the couple apart in time, as no one likes someone who is just like themselves.


People like to be challenged, inspired, pushed, etc. by their partner. A lack of confidence affects a person in so many aspects.......the bedroom, going out, work, physical appearance, conversation and it is (unfortunately) a huge turn off. Especially if you are smoothering your partner and clinging to that person.....a sense of independence and freedom needs to be developed.


You should never compromise yourself for a relationship or another person. Don't make power moves like that for other people, unless that is your life partner (even then.....).


It's okay to be selfish at times......if you spend all your time pleasing other people and putting them first, you will end up in last place. So unless you want to be like the Washington Wizards.....

 

[mjgreatxii]

It sounds you have completely lost your own indentity and sense of self with this relationship. It is quite common for someone who does not know themselves yet to take on the identity of their partner and conform to a lot of their likes/dislikes. While it may be productive and positive at first......it tends to push the couple apart in time, as no one likes someone who is just like themselves.
People like to be challenged, inspired, pushed, etc. by their partner. A lack of confidence affects a person in so many aspects.......the bedroom, going out, work, physical appearance, conversation and it is (unfortunately) a huge turn off. Especially if you are smoothering your partner and clinging to that person.....a sense of independence and freedom needs to be developed.
You should never compromise yourself for a relationship or another person. Don't make power moves like that for other people, unless that is your life partner (even then.....).
It's okay to be selfish at times......if you spend all your time pleasing other people and putting them first, you will end up in last place. So unless you want to be like the Washington Wizards.....

Thanks man..
That's what my therapist tells me.. and I can do my own thing for a bit.. like a 2-4 week period, then i relapse and go back to what I know..

consistency is my problem in every aspect of life.
I know that I can do great things, but i'm very inconsistent.

When we first met I was the complete opposite of who I am now, but with weight gain, and being lonely here in LA.. I've reverted back to this person.
I don't know how to get back to who i wanna be.

 

[iblink]

my past and my myself are the reasons I feel terrible at times..I always think someone is judging me n thinkin somethib bad about me..it seems like no one understands me beside my parents n best friend

Watch a Bronx Tale. Pay attention to Sonny.

Even if people smile in your face and claim to love you, there's always the possibility that it's not sincere. So you have to get over this sense of being on edge because of what others think about you fam. Ultimately you can't stop the negative things being said about you. You just have to know who you are, know that you're 10x better than the negativity they associate you with. Here's the kicker though. The day will come where you realize a majority of folks are out here only being concerned about themselves. They may comment about you, or even ridicule you. But when it's all said and done, they go about living their lives. So if they don't even care that much about the things they say, why should you care at all?

Live your life fam. At the end of the day, no one cares.

 

[iblink]

For no reason either man.. I do literally everything for this woman..
I have no confidence to go out and meet people to hang out with..
I moved out here to LA to be closer to her.. and now.. we barely kick it.

She's going to think you're dependent on her, which will inevitably lead to her viewing you as weak. Once that's in her head, it's lights out fam.

There's nothing to even talk to her about. You have to establish the authoritative role in the relationship. These women out here are too unstable to hold that position. They get it built up in their mind that they control things and the guy will just have to live with it. That's what's happening to you, it seems. Your girl joined a sorority and now she's exposed to different people and situations. She doesn't feel the need to maintain things with you because she knows she can dip out then, when she's done having her fun, pick up back up off the shelf because she knows you not going anywhere.

Distance yourself from her. Get your *** in the gym. Hit up the dressing better thread. Bring sexy back. Other women will notuce and gravitate to you. Ol' sorority girl will too. By then you can decide whether you want to make things work with her and redefine the relationship with you taking the lead, or not. Get some new friends. Doesn't even have to be a **** load of people. Just a few good folks you can chill with. You live in LA, b. I wish I were out there.

You ultimately have to realize that happiness exists outside of the comfort zone you once had with your girl. Find enjoyment in the little things, so you can truly appreciate the greater things when they come along.

 

[mjgreatxii]

She's going to think you're dependent on her, which will inevitably lead to her viewing you as weak. Once that's in her head, it's lights out fam.
There's nothing to even talk to her about. You have to establish the authoritative role in the relationship. These women out here are too unstable to hold that position. They get it built up in their mind that they control things and the guy will just have to live with it. That's what's happening to you, it seems. Your girl joined a sorority and now she's exposed to different people and situations. She doesn't feel the need to maintain things with you because she knows she can dip out then, when she's done having her fun, pick up back up off the shelf because she knows you not going anywhere.
Distance yourself from her. Get your *** in the gym. Hit up the dressing better thread. Bring sexy back. Other women will notuce and gravitate to you. Ol' sorority girl will too. By then you can decide whether you want to make things work with her and redefine the relationship with you taking the lead, or not. Get some new friends. Doesn't even have to be a **** load of people. Just a few good folks you can chill with. You live in LA, b. I wish I were out there.
You ultimately have to realize that happiness exists outside of the comfort zone you once had with your girl. Find enjoyment in the little things, so you can truly appreciate the greater things when they come along.

Thats her exact thought process.. She told me that ish..
and yeah that's the sad part, I know she's gonna do that.. and I know I'll sit here and wait..
But I definitely shouldn't I need to all those things to better myself.
Man the bolded is the realest thing Ive ever read. If i could rep you more I would.

Thanks man I really appreciate it.