Ok, serious discussion....anyone here been with a girl who was sexually abused as a child?

2,046
129
Joined Dec 2, 2008
First off, lets be mature.

Straight to the cliffs:

  • Met a girl 3 weeks ago, been seeing her on the regular
  • Noticed she was a little strange when it came to holding hands, etc
  • Mutual friend let me know last night she was raped when she was 5
  • She doesn't know that I know about it
Is there anything I should know about handling a situation like this or be doing different?
 
8,037
2,745
Joined Jan 25, 2006
why act different? her life was pretty much ruined.. just treat her as if nothing happened... she's normal

poor girl.
 
18,616
1,142
Joined Sep 28, 2005
if you're not down for the long ride i say don't do it...

if you do stick it out wait for her to tell you when she's comfortable...
 
2,046
129
Joined Dec 2, 2008
Originally Posted by mytmouse76

if you're not down for the long ride i say don't do it...

if you do stick it out wait for her to tell you when she's comfortable...
i like how you think.
 

jedimaster23

Banned
364
10
Joined Feb 2, 2010
Yeah dont mess with her.

Make the wrong move and your *%# will be behind bars for something you didnt mean to happen.


They are emotional WRECKS.

You have to be a strong individual to love a scared person after sexual abuse.

so if you cant handle it DO NOT make it worse.
 
2,846
30
Joined Dec 25, 2007
If youre looking to smash, look elsewhere. If you really care about her and are willing to both wait and help her through the process, go for it. But dont jump into anything with her if you arent really willing to invest in her. Chances are shes extremely fragile. In general youre going to have to be more patient with her.
 
1,376
12
Joined Feb 3, 2010
Originally Posted by al3x89

why act different? her life was pretty much ruined.. just treat her as if nothing happened... she's normal

poor girl.
[color= rgb(255, 0, 0)]You don't believe that do you? Most if not all of those rape victims are messed up some how psychologically, then again.. what defines normal?

As for me, I'd keep it movin..
[/color]
 
25,184
496
Joined Sep 1, 2004
let her tell you

   2 of my GF where raped, once they get comfortable with you they will let you know
 
2,046
129
Joined Dec 2, 2008
Originally Posted by AgentArenas

If youre looking to smash, look elsewhere. If you really care about her and are willing to both wait and help her through the process, go for it. But dont jump into anything with her if you arent really willing to invest in her. Chances are shes extremely fragile. In general youre going to have to be more patient with her.
i'm mormon man, smashin ain't on my mind


but i definitely am into her alot so thats why i was asking
 
23,965
1,846
Joined May 18, 2005
on some real, she might leave you drop of the dime

women like that can get coldhearted over dumb dumb stuff and its a wrap

prepare to get hurt!
 
4,065
166
Joined Nov 12, 2006
Originally Posted by AgentArenas

If youre looking to smash, look elsewhere. If you really care about her and are willing to both wait and help her through the process, go for it. But dont jump into anything with her if you arent really willing to invest in her. Chances are shes extremely fragile. In general youre going to have to be more patient with her.
 
2,755
13
Joined Nov 14, 2004
Originally Posted by al3x89

why act different? her life was pretty much ruined.. just treat her as if nothing happened... she's normal

poor girl.
you contradicted yourself several times there...her life was ruined...shes normal...poor girl? 
she's definitely not normal, which is very unfortunate. like others said, dont just smash and dash. proceed with caution. keep in  mind that you could have the opportunity to change her life and the way she feels about physical/sexual contact if you are gentle and real with her. i think.  
 
2,846
30
Joined Dec 25, 2007
Originally Posted by Matt53

Originally Posted by AgentArenas

If youre looking to smash, look elsewhere. If you really care about her and are willing to both wait and help her through the process, go for it. But dont jump into anything with her if you arent really willing to invest in her. Chances are shes extremely fragile. In general youre going to have to be more patient with her.
i'm mormon man, smashin ain't on my mind


but i definitely am into her alot so thats why i was asking
Only threw that in there since its NT... everyone seems to believe in smash n dash. But yeah in that case your main concern will probably be with keeping your patience.... I don't know about you but I usually give up on people pretty quickly if theyre stubborn. You cant do that with someone like her- chances are shes both extremely stubborn and fragile. Probably very isolated emotionally as well. All of that takes time, youre going to have to be able to reach out constantly without losing your patience.
 
2,046
129
Joined Dec 2, 2008
Originally Posted by AgentArenas

Originally Posted by Matt53

Originally Posted by AgentArenas

If youre looking to smash, look elsewhere. If you really care about her and are willing to both wait and help her through the process, go for it. But dont jump into anything with her if you arent really willing to invest in her. Chances are shes extremely fragile. In general youre going to have to be more patient with her.
i'm mormon man, smashin ain't on my mind


but i definitely am into her alot so thats why i was asking
Only threw that in there since its NT... everyone seems to believe in smash n dash. But yeah in that case your main concern will probably be with keeping your patience.... I don't know about you but I usually give up on people pretty quickly if theyre stubborn. You cant do that with someone like her- chances are shes both extremely stubborn and fragile. Probably very isolated emotionally as well. All of that takes time, youre going to have to be able to reach out constantly without losing your patience.
kudos to you sir
 
2,789
25
Joined Jan 10, 2010
i have, and for me i just opened up to her and made her feel beautiful and loved, most of them have issues with that sort of stuff, atleast with her she jus wanted to feel love, i say jus open yaself up to her, let her kno sumthin about u that u have a difficult time dealin with
 

superblytrife

Supporter
17,522
13,288
Joined Mar 20, 2002
Prepare for a lot of ups and downs and a TON of self-worth issues. Not everyone can be grouped into this category but generally this is what you'll encounter.

If this is something you're in for the long haul, you'll most likely be putting in a lot of work in areas that you normally wouldn't have to with a girl that wasn't sexually abused.
 
Top Bottom
  AdBlock Detected

Sure, ad-blocking software does a great job at blocking ads, but it also blocks some useful and important features of our website. For the best possible site experience please take a moment to disable your AdBlocker or head over to our upgrade page to donate for an ad-free experience Upgrade now