Ok, serious discussion....anyone here been with a girl who was sexually abused as a child?

Originally Posted by AgentArenas

If youre looking to smash, look elsewhere. If you really care about her and are willing to both wait and help her through the process, go for it. But dont jump into anything with her if you arent really willing to invest in her. Chances are shes extremely fragile. In general youre going to have to be more patient with her.
 
Originally Posted by ptrakarn23

joke about how shes so hot u would rape her


  
laugh.gif
 OP might get slapped for that one
 
I'm not even sure anymore man
smh.gif
laugh.gif


A lot of girls I been with are good liars. You know the type that likes to tell you TOO much info hrs after meeting them and can cry on demand?

*Sucks teeth*
 
has she gotten help already? if not i would say don't even bother only because you don't want to go through it with someone who hasnt began to get help for something like that...if she's gotten/getting help it might be easier to deal w/ cuz she'll know how to go about relationships better once she understands her emotions and feelings and how to i guess work with them...

there's a better way to word it but i can't think of it right now..
 
Originally Posted by mytmouse76

has she gotten help already? if not i would say don't even bother only because you don't want to go through it with someone who hasnt began to get help for something like that...if she's gotten/getting help it might be easier to deal w/ cuz she'll know how to go about relationships better once she understands her emotions and feelings and how to i guess work with them...

there's a better way to word it but i can't think of it right now..
A big part of this whole thing, and something that the OP will have to identify, is how comfortable she is with him. Sometimes people just feel drawn to each other, and very comfortable because of it. If shes like that with OP, things will be easier (not easy, easier), as she'll feel like she can talk to him about things.

You have to make sure she knows that youre there for her, and that you'll never judge her for anything she tells you. Most likely shes extremely self conscious and wont want to tell you things cause shes worried theyll change how you see her.
 
Originally Posted by Master Zik

I'll need some pics but from my history and what I've heard they're easy to smash.
True. I've heard this is how porn stars are made. History of childhood abuse. Wouldn't't want to take advantage.
 
Originally Posted by Master Zik

I'll need some pics but from my history and what I've heard they're easy to smash.

glasses.gif
 the ones you've heard about must be past the point of recovery
 
I would never knowingly get into that situation. I couldn't deal with all of the issues that come along with it.
 
Originally Posted by Matt53

Originally Posted by AgentArenas

If youre looking to smash, look elsewhere. If you really care about her and are willing to both wait and help her through the process, go for it. But dont jump into anything with her if you arent really willing to invest in her. Chances are shes extremely fragile. In general youre going to have to be more patient with her.

i'm mormon man, smashin ain't on my mind
laugh.gif


but i definitely am into her alot so thats why i was asking

Damn son,
laugh.gif
 
Originally Posted by SUCKAFREE85

No, but those chicks got problems.. Stay away.

QFT

This one chick i was talkin too was pyscho....mad jealous n %*+%.
We were talkin for about a good 3 months on n off and when i just kept it straight n told her i wanna beat....she spazzed.
Aint talk to her since.
grin.gif
 
i respect that my dude...and no she may not be "normal" but thats no reason to dip out.  Victims of abuse need love too (more than anyone actually)...so if you dig her stick around and see how it plays out....good luck
 
Depends on the girl...

But in my experience...shorty was a headcase. insecure, attention ++$@$, %!+!....easy pass.
 
Don't stay away... If you like the girl continue to talk to her, don't judge how she acts based off other people's experiences with girls that have been through that. She doesn't deserve to be judged on something that she couldn't prevent and every girl is NOT the same, at the same time don't treat her as if she's cripple or it isn't going to work either... If you can't treat her like you would any other girl or be comfortable with how SHE acts it isn't going to work but that goes for all relationships.
 
Originally Posted by AgentArenas

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

has she gotten help already? if not i would say don't even bother only because you don't want to go through it with someone who hasnt began to get help for something like that...if she's gotten/getting help it might be easier to deal w/ cuz she'll know how to go about relationships better once she understands her emotions and feelings and how to i guess work with them...

there's a better way to word it but i can't think of it right now..
A big part of this whole thing, and something that the OP will have to identify, is how comfortable she is with him. Sometimes people just feel drawn to each other, and very comfortable because of it. If shes like that with OP, things will be easier (not easy, easier), as she'll feel like she can talk to him about things.

You have to make sure she knows that youre there for her, and that you'll never judge her for anything she tells you. Most likely shes extremely self conscious and wont want to tell you things cause shes worried theyll change how you see her.


i agree i'm just saying you don't want someone who is a complete wreck and doesn't know why she acts the way she does...if she's getting help at least she might be able to better handle her feelings instead of being completely irrational and not know why
 
Originally Posted by Frische Produkte

Originally Posted by al3x89

why act different? her life was pretty much ruined.. just treat her as if nothing happened... she's normal

poor girl.
[color= rgb(255, 0, 0)]You don't believe that do you? Most if not all of those rape victims are messed up some how psychologically, then again.. what defines normal?

As for me, I'd keep it movin..
[/color]
Exactly. They're messed up some way. You got to be caring with them. 
 
1) its either they are really protective over the VAG or hyper-sexual...meaning they wanna beat all the time and jerk off and watch porn and just excessive...which can be a turn off if you want to move towards something serious

2) in either circumstance above, do not smash if you are just in it for smashing...if you want to be there and console her and actually and truthfully be there for her, then go for it.

3) its very weird some times...certain jokes you cant say, certain pictures you cant send her and laugh together, maybe certain movies or shows you watch...!$#$ like that will always be weird and awkward... you can't send her pedo bear gifs and chris hansen youtube vids and laugh it up for its hilarity....

so there will be certain things in society that you will have to circumvent, just so you don't remind her of the experience...even if shes fully recovered and okay with it...you will subconciously make an effort to not bring it to her attention, because by then you will love her...and not want her to think about that stuff

4) in the end if you stick it out and are truly there for her and help her recover, she will love you like no other woman can...she will cherish you, accept you, appreciate you, and do ANYTHING FOR YOU...

so if you have the balls to go all the way and try to make something serious, they will love you like no other (from experience)...

so weigh your options, and your motives and intentions and go for it...


and if you sense insecurity issues, and trust issues, and stuff...talk to her about it, don't just accuse her of being a wimp and being insecure and a @@%%@...explain it to her and soon enough those problems will go away...
 
I was with one, she was a straight FREAK but she had so many damn problems it wasn't even worth it. Emotional wreck. She also cheated on me. Stay away my dude, stay away.
 
Originally Posted by awwsome

Originally Posted by Matt53

Originally Posted by AgentArenas

If youre looking to smash, look elsewhere. If you really care about her and are willing to both wait and help her through the process, go for it. But dont jump into anything with her if you arent really willing to invest in her. Chances are shes extremely fragile. In general youre going to have to be more patient with her.

i'm mormon man, smashin ain't on my mind
laugh.gif


but i definitely am into her alot so thats why i was asking

Damn son,
laugh.gif
i suppose that wasn't the best way to put it
laugh.gif
,

its more thats on my mind, but not the agenda
 
i can tell you from personal experience that you should stay away from her. my ex ex was abused as a child and she ended up being crazy..
cutting herself, wanting to kill herself bcuz i wanted to stop talking to her, etc... so much crazy things. one day she broke down to me and told me how when she was a child she was abused by her uncle...
the only good thing you can probably gain from this is she'll be addicted to sex.... Its crazy that girls who were rapped at an early age grown up they are addicted to sex/ have more sex than non-abused woman...
 
Originally Posted by DJMano34

i can tell you from personal experience that you should stay away from her. my ex ex was abused as a child and she ended up being crazy..
cutting herself, wanting to kill herself bcuz i wanted to stop talking to her, etc... so much crazy things. one day she broke down to me and told me how when she was a child she was abused by her uncle...
the only good thing you can probably gain from this is she'll be addicted to sex.... Its crazy that girls who were rapped at an early age grown up they are addicted to sex/ have more sex than non-abused woman...

trust me op...if she gives you the p real quick 
run away from this girl, or you'll pay the price...


  
 
Originally Posted by Matt53

First off, lets be mature.

Straight to the cliffs:

  • Met a girl 3 weeks ago, been seeing her on the regular
  • Noticed she was a little strange when it came to holding hands, etc
  • Mutual friend let me know last night she was raped when she was 5
  • She doesn't know that I know about it
Is there anything I should know about handling a situation like this or be doing different?
if you just want to hit it and quit, dont bother man, thats messed up

if you really want to be with her, go SLOW, dont rush her, dont be desperate, and dont make her do anything she doesn't want to

when she's ready, she'll let you know...you just have to keep in mind about her past
 
Back
Top Bottom