Please help me get out of a lifelong social jam (could help many others too)..

[west2east]

People don't realize the kind of emotional scars something physical like acne can have. You are proof that you can be as handsome as you want to be, but ifyou don't see yourself that way it makes no difference what others tell you.

It's time to start building your confidence. You can be a really ugly dude and still pull girls if you have the confidence to do so. I mean I had bracesand still NEVER had a problem dating. It got the point where people would forget I even had braces. You do need to quit the negative talk and reinventyourself.

Here's a hint though: When a girl starts making plans to hang out with you and do cute stuff for you it's a HUGE sign she's interested. You at thispoint don't have much to lose since she seems to be willing to take some initiative. If you stopped thinking so much and just started doing you could get alot more accomplished. Stop being so afraid. Just remember that no matter what, you'll more than likely get the chance to wake up tomorrow and try tofigure it out all over again.

 

[phidelt076]

I had a little bit of the same problem back in the day.

Here's my advice for what worked for me. If you start feeling a little self conscious there's a couple of quick things you can do to turn it aroundthat worked for me:
1) Hit the gym for a couple of days and lift some weights if you don't already. If you do already, do your favorite workout that gets you all pumped beforeyou see her next time.
2) Buy yourself a new shirt or something. For me I always felt like a million bucks when I had new clothes for a first date.
3) Head out to a bar and grab a table in a high traffic area (like on the way to the ladies room). Pay attention to all the chicks checking you out as theywalk by. That helps a ton.

I'd also go ahead and ask her out so that you don't end up in the friend zone or make her think you're not interested. Chicks are crazy selfconscious too you know.

Take her to a comedy club if there's one by you for a first date. You'll both end up laughing your @sses off and have plenty to talk about the rest ofthe night. You'll have such a good time you won't even think about being self-conscious. I would search the comedian on Myspace first though and makesure they aren't sexually vulgar. I saw Wanda Sykes on a first date and all of her jokes were about givin head..... a little akward for a first date. Youget a girl laughing and you're good to go.

Once you get one one good date under your belt your confidence will start to increase and they'll get a ton easier.

Hope that helps man. Just don't obsess about it.

 

[gettin it crackin]

Originally Posted by West2East

People don't realize the kind of emotional scars something physical like acne can have. You are proof that you can be as handsome as you want to be, but if you don't see yourself that way it makes no difference what others tell you.

Spot on.

 

[acidicality]

i understand where you're coming from cuz i feel that way too (not in your exact position but i know what it feels like). i've just figured out that ijust need more swag and confidence (not cockiness)

just be yourself, if you think somethings there, go out and get it, don't second-guess yourself. and from the signs it seems like she's all yours if ucan just do that.

 

[oidreez]

there's some good advice in here. i like these threads

 

[govols234]

yeah great advice, and I will put it to work. I do realize that its my lack of self confidence over anything else. Its just something I have battled my entirelife that I must overcome. Its just hard for me to do because she is the kid of girl everyone in my entire fraternity would go for, not drop dead hot but thekind of girl you would want to date.

 

[finnns2003]

good advice in this thread, good stuff

 

[jayadict92]

good luck, bro. let us know how things go.

 

[drjordanfreak88]

Originally Posted by SenatorJeffSmith

yo man you need to get your swag up then everything else will fall into place

Indeed. Confidence is vital when dealing with women. If you don't have it then you're nothing more than a friend to them. Women won't always say it but they want a MAN, forget that metro garbage perpetrated by the media.

Agreed. It's taken me a while to realize and I'm still learning and adjusting, but women don't want a guy who is just drifting through life ordisplays weak tendencies. They want a man who has goals and plans for his life and is able to take care of himself. For me, my only issue is picking up on whenreally attractive females are showing signs of interest. I'm goin through my own lil weight loss thing, and I've been gaining a lot of confidence, buthe other day I was really surprised because this BAD%##$ chick came to drop off her car and she clearly feelin me, but I just didn't pay attention.

at not paying attention to hints and not acting on them. HopefullyI'll have another chance when she comes back.

 

[skip2mylou23]

I seem like such a$%%%*!# because im so self conscious, but it is my biggest guilty fear i have ever had in my life. Everyone I know assumes I get laid all the time but i Dont, because i am a +*!$$.
I'm in the same dilemma. I have had girls show interest in me but I'm very self conscious so I pay them no mind. In the last five daysI've had two girls tell me they think I must have sex with a lot of girls. I just play it off but on the inside I'm like what's wrong with me. Iguess the honest truth is you can't love someone else until you love yourself.

I suggest you let her decorate your dorm and stuff. It seems like this girl is genuinely attracted to you for who you are and not for cool pickup lines orsmooth moves you've put on her. By the way, do you have pics?

 

[Grine]

Yo how did this 2007 thread pop up?

 

[GTA 809]

You probably clicked >> instead of > sending you to the oldest threads all from 07.

I know I did the same.

 

[egaroc1]

TL;DNR.
No pics To top it off??
shame on you.