Post your most embarrassing sexual encounters Vol. 2012

went home with this 5/10 my friend was smashing her friend in the other room...  eventually we go to bed and i get a couple fingers in, commenting on how unusually wet it is.  she tops me off for a looong time, i'd say about 20 mins, but finally i get hard and she says she doesnt wanna smash..  i was like whatever.  go to the washroom take a piss and wash my hands. 

in the morning im leaving and get on the bus home.  look down at my watch and notice i got what looks like dried up blood at the base between my index and middle finger.  examine it more closely im like, the *#!+ was i bleeding for?

then it hits me

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my story

#1
i was at this lil house party in my neighborhood at this chick house who i had relations with (nothin serious, we both knew what it was). There was this chick there that I had chilled with earlier that week, we all go to the same college, it was an off campus house party. Me n shorty who threw the house party had gotten into a lil argument so I left the party and went back down to my apt. Shorty that I had chilled with earlier asked me where I was, told her I had gone back home I wasn't feelin the party. She walked down to my crib and immediately started rubbin on me kissin my neck, all that isshh... So i got str8 to it, got the rubber, and was tryna get my lil man right before i proceeded to give her the biz... my man couldn't get right for a MINUTE!!!... after a while it got right... put the rubber on... come to find out this girl has NO WALLS AT ALL.... like a hotdog in a hallway... no b.i. .... this chick think that i can't perform and my D is whack etc etc.... one day on twitter i had made a comment bout the pipe game, and she tried to play me on some isshhh... but shorty was a POP... had more bodies than a cemetery... i just wasn't hip... smh... good thing i strapped up tho...

#2
dont really feel like typing anymore.. but ill share another story

long story short.... hit a chick at her moms house on XMas eve... I'm thinkin erything smoove because i had hit her here before... but her moms wanna be extra and start cookin Xmas dinner at midnight n isshhh... but basically i was literally TRAPPED IN THE CLOSET... the way the apartment was set up.... her room was right by the door... so there was no way that i could get out with out her moms see in me... basically... shorty asked if her and her moms could exchange gifts... moms got her a camera... so she asked her mom if they could go to the bathroom and take a xmas pic together... her moms fell for it... when they went to the back I ran out the front... the alarm went off.. i dipped thru the back of the building and ran around to my whip.... I didn't leave until like 2-3AM... i was in that closet for a MINUTE.. smh
 
Originally Posted by Rusty Shackelford

Originally Posted by TeamCharisma69

not really embarrassing but i slept over at this freshmen's dorm room (i'm sophomore) and i try to get the cat. she makes some bs excuse, and instead only offers her mouth. she goes all in pocket aces for 45 minutes. no planter's after 45 minutes. girls that don't give brain like they're stupid need to sleep alone. i haven't seen failure this bad since my english class in 6th grade. clearly she had never worked for party city or i just didn't admire her aesthetics brah.
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my thoughts exactly
 
Originally Posted by justhotkicks

2001. Sainte-Foy, Quebec.

It was my last year of HS, so during our winter break, my boys and I planned a ski-trip to Canada. Immediately upon arrival at the hotel, all seven of us hit up the concierge and asked for a good strip club. He immediately pointed us to this spot called Cabaret Carol (you can google it). After dinner, we took a cab straight there. To me, the strip-club outing was supposed to be a night of 'learning'; I had never been to a strip club nor have I had alcohol in a public place as someone of legal age (not that I was, had a fake iD). Sainte-Foy, to me, had a very small-town vibe, and so I expected the women to reflect my opinion of the town - plain jane, regular looking women. It being a Monday also played a role in my expectations. So on this surprisingly mild February (about 55 degrees) evening in Canada, my friends and I set out to start this trip off right.

We immediately took the seats by the stage. The first woman to dance was downright gorgeous - a mix between Lacey Chabert and Sarah Michelle Gellar (as deduced by my friends during or many recollections of this night over the last decade) - and I instantly fell in love. She looked wickedly innocent and had a tight body to boot. She and I kept eye contact a lot, but I didn't think much of it - she was just doing her job (and doing it damn well). So after watching 3-4 dancers and drinking a ton of beers, we finally decided to get dances. They were a mere ten Canadian dollars a piece, but a 'VIP' room that was closed off with a black curtain was offered for just 5 Canadian dollars more. It was behind a black curtain with an ornate sign that read 'VIP PLEASURE' above the doorway. My friend had the gonads to go VIP first and he came out about ten minutes later, describing the experience as a slightly longer lapdance with more seductive dancing (as if grinding on your crotch whilst topless wasn't seductive enough). I already had a long dance with the Lacey Michelle Gellar dancer which included a lot of kissing, and was tempted to ask her to the VIP room as I stared at her yearningly, but before I could get up to ask her, I noticed her walking in my direction. I remained seated until she arrived in front of me, but before the words came out of my mouth, she grabbed my hand and walked me to the VIP room. This stripper could read minds.

The VIP room is just a dark room lit by candles. There's a black couch that, if hit by a blacklight, would probably illuminate so powerfully that it would be registered from a satellite in outer space as some sort of suspicious nuclear activity. I spent the first 30 seconds surveying the room and eventually made my way to the couch, sitting dead center. Oh, the pathetic rear ends that have inhabited that seat in the past. Without any rhythm to the music ('Lady' by Modjo was playing), Lacey Michelle Gellar ripped off her top and straddled me without hesitation. Something told me (my boner) that I was in for some real Very Important Person treatment. A few minutes of deep, passionate kissing led to over-the-pants stroking, which led to under-the-pants stroking, which led to her advising me via hand motions to pull my shorts down, which led to her applying a conctraceptive to my member, which led to her riding on top of me. About one minute in, the bouncer busted in through the curtain and looked me right in the eye. Then right at her. Then right back at me. She jumped right off, screaming in shock and embarrassment, and ran out of the room. By then the entire staff, a few of the patrons, and all of my friends were peering into the room; all they saw was my terrified mid-orgasm face and my member pointed upwards to the sky like a totem pole. I was so ready to burst that the slightest breeze in my general direction would've made me explode like Eyjafjallajokull (you know, that volcano in Iceland). I carefully removed the condom in front of them all and pulled my boxers up very slowly, careful not to agitate myself, and walked out of the VIP room like I was just caught masturbating by my parents; I hadn't realized that I was revealing my member in its most sensitive and camera-shy state to dozens of strangers and my friends. Upon entering the main room, I saw Lacey Michelle Gellar talking to an older woman, presumably Carol of Cabarat Carol, and just one look from her made me go Mt. Vesuvius in my pants. Thing is, I was wearing boxers, and above that I was wearing Jordan shorts. They're kinda baggy.

I looked down and noticed driplets of 'myself', and in my embarrassment, I smeared them with my feet with a look of defeat in my face - imagine the sad face of a dog eating his own poop. I took one look at the 6'5" 310 lb. bouncer, one look at my friend, who had this frozen, astonished look (the look you'd have if you saw your friends erect penis), one final look at Lacey Michelle Gellar, and booked it out of club. Back at the hotel, I gave my friends a rough play-by-play while scrubbing the soles of my kicks (Air Max 95s), thinking they got the same treatment from their ladies of the night as I did from mine, but it turned out the value of the five extra dollars they spent wasn't anywhere close to the "bang" for buck I got. I was too embarrassed to go back to that strip club throughout the remainder of the trip, but every night after, at least two of my friends did. None reported their own special stories, but what made me feel a bit guilty was that they didn't spot Lacey Michelle Gellar in any of the following nights. Did she get fired? Suspended? Who knows. For about a month after the trip, I visited the Cabaret Carol website religiously to discover her identity, but my efforts were all for naught. Never found out her name nor will I ever, but I will remember her and that night for as long as I shall live.



this is the most well written post in this thread yet and brought the lulz.
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at slightest breeze
 
my ex is at my dorm for the weekend, so its the middle of the day and we bored so I proceed to smash...so I'm going in for the kill position, she's laying flat on her stomach and I'm pounding, I see something white stuck in her butt cheeks so I slow down to figure out what it is...its a couple pieces of toilet paper, I didn't know what to do, I wanted to tell her but I also wanted to finish, I also wanted to pull it out but I didn't know if I'd get poop on my hand
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or if she would feel it...I gave her the short fast strokes to get it over with...I told her after we finished, she was so embarrassed, she had really bad higene (sp?) For a lady
 
Originally Posted by DimesLikeHefner


My ex girlfriend got pregnant and we decided it would be best to abort it. It was a surgical abortion and she was advised not to have sex for 30 days. We had sex after about a week(stupid, I know). We were 69'ing and she used to like it when I would pretty much put her entire @#!*%, +%*%, lips and everything into my mouth and suck it. I sucked it and swallowed a chunk of flesh. Was like waaaaait a minute, then threw her off me and started vomiting all over the bed. She started crying and **** when I told her what was up. She told me when she calmed down that she had been having discharge since the abortion and the doctors told her random bits of flesh/gunky **** might appear for a few weeks. Tasted so ****ing disgusting. Sucked up and swallowed the discharge of an abortion.
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Originally Posted by sreggie101

Originally Posted by justhotkicks

2001. Sainte-Foy, Quebec.

It was my last year of HS, so during our winter break, my boys and I planned a ski-trip to Canada. Immediately upon arrival at the hotel, all seven of us hit up the concierge and asked for a good strip club. He immediately pointed us to this spot called Cabaret Carol (you can google it). After dinner, we took a cab straight there. To me, the strip-club outing was supposed to be a night of 'learning'; I had never been to a strip club nor have I had alcohol in a public place as someone of legal age (not that I was, had a fake iD). Sainte-Foy, to me, had a very small-town vibe, and so I expected the women to reflect my opinion of the town - plain jane, regular looking women. It being a Monday also played a role in my expectations. So on this surprisingly mild February (about 55 degrees) evening in Canada, my friends and I set out to start this trip off right.

We immediately took the seats by the stage. The first woman to dance was downright gorgeous - a mix between Lacey Chabert and Sarah Michelle Gellar (as deduced by my friends during or many recollections of this night over the last decade) - and I instantly fell in love. She looked wickedly innocent and had a tight body to boot. She and I kept eye contact a lot, but I didn't think much of it - she was just doing her job (and doing it damn well). So after watching 3-4 dancers and drinking a ton of beers, we finally decided to get dances. They were a mere ten Canadian dollars a piece, but a 'VIP' room that was closed off with a black curtain was offered for just 5 Canadian dollars more. It was behind a black curtain with an ornate sign that read 'VIP PLEASURE' above the doorway. My friend had the gonads to go VIP first and he came out about ten minutes later, describing the experience as a slightly longer lapdance with more seductive dancing (as if grinding on your crotch whilst topless wasn't seductive enough). I already had a long dance with the Lacey Michelle Gellar dancer which included a lot of kissing, and was tempted to ask her to the VIP room as I stared at her yearningly, but before I could get up to ask her, I noticed her walking in my direction. I remained seated until she arrived in front of me, but before the words came out of my mouth, she grabbed my hand and walked me to the VIP room. This stripper could read minds.

The VIP room is just a dark room lit by candles. There's a black couch that, if hit by a blacklight, would probably illuminate so powerfully that it would be registered from a satellite in outer space as some sort of suspicious nuclear activity. I spent the first 30 seconds surveying the room and eventually made my way to the couch, sitting dead center. Oh, the pathetic rear ends that have inhabited that seat in the past. Without any rhythm to the music ('Lady' by Modjo was playing), Lacey Michelle Gellar ripped off her top and straddled me without hesitation. Something told me (my boner) that I was in for some real Very Important Person treatment. A few minutes of deep, passionate kissing led to over-the-pants stroking, which led to under-the-pants stroking, which led to her advising me via hand motions to pull my shorts down, which led to her applying a conctraceptive to my member, which led to her riding on top of me. About one minute in, the bouncer busted in through the curtain and looked me right in the eye. Then right at her. Then right back at me. She jumped right off, screaming in shock and embarrassment, and ran out of the room. By then the entire staff, a few of the patrons, and all of my friends were peering into the room; all they saw was my terrified mid-orgasm face and my member pointed upwards to the sky like a totem pole. I was so ready to burst that the slightest breeze in my general direction would've made me explode like Eyjafjallajokull (you know, that volcano in Iceland). I carefully removed the condom in front of them all and pulled my boxers up very slowly, careful not to agitate myself, and walked out of the VIP room like I was just caught masturbating by my parents; I hadn't realized that I was revealing my member in its most sensitive and camera-shy state to dozens of strangers and my friends. Upon entering the main room, I saw Lacey Michelle Gellar talking to an older woman, presumably Carol of Cabarat Carol, and just one look from her made me go Mt. Vesuvius in my pants. Thing is, I was wearing boxers, and above that I was wearing Jordan shorts. They're kinda baggy.

I looked down and noticed driplets of 'myself', and in my embarrassment, I smeared them with my feet with a look of defeat in my face - imagine the sad face of a dog eating his own poop. I took one look at the 6'5" 310 lb. bouncer, one look at my friend, who had this frozen, astonished look (the look you'd have if you saw your friends erect penis), one final look at Lacey Michelle Gellar, and booked it out of club. Back at the hotel, I gave my friends a rough play-by-play while scrubbing the soles of my kicks (Air Max 95s), thinking they got the same treatment from their ladies of the night as I did from mine, but it turned out the value of the five extra dollars they spent wasn't anywhere close to the "bang" for buck I got. I was too embarrassed to go back to that strip club throughout the remainder of the trip, but every night after, at least two of my friends did. None reported their own special stories, but what made me feel a bit guilty was that they didn't spot Lacey Michelle Gellar in any of the following nights. Did she get fired? Suspended? Who knows. For about a month after the trip, I visited the Cabaret Carol website religiously to discover her identity, but my efforts were all for naught. Never found out her name nor will I ever, but I will remember her and that night for as long as I shall live.



this is the most well written post in this thread yet and brought the lulz.
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at slightest breeze
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Could not agree more. Well done sir. 
 
I got another one.

-In 06', my ex and I were in Cedar Point (amusement park) parking lot. It was hot as balls outside (like 95-96 degrees). We went to the car to rest. Ended up getting the wise idea to have sex in the parking lot. I got some shirts out the trunk and a sheet I used for my dog. I rolled them up in the windows which gave us complete privacy. Remember, it's hot so we got the A/C on blast. She in the passenger seat, I'm in the driver seat. After the oral, we bout to do it missionary. I start to crawl over the top of her body and accidentally rip a silent one right into the vents. It was one of those rotten egg/I need to take a dookie type farts too
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. A/C blows it in her face and she starts half laughing/half gagging. Because we're both naked, we can't get out the car or even let the windows down. Killed the moment. We got dressed and went back in the park...
 
Originally Posted by justhotkicks

2001. Sainte-Foy, Quebec.

It was my last year of HS, so during our winter break, my boys and I planned a ski-trip to Canada. Immediately upon arrival at the hotel, all seven of us hit up the concierge and asked for a good strip club. He immediately pointed us to this spot called Cabaret Carol (you can google it). After dinner, we took a cab straight there. To me, the strip-club outing was supposed to be a night of 'learning'; I had never been to a strip club nor have I had alcohol in a public place as someone of legal age (not that I was, had a fake iD). Sainte-Foy, to me, had a very small-town vibe, and so I expected the women to reflect my opinion of the town - plain jane, regular looking women. It being a Monday also played a role in my expectations. So on this surprisingly mild February (about 55 degrees) evening in Canada, my friends and I set out to start this trip off right.

We immediately took the seats by the stage. The first woman to dance was downright gorgeous - a mix between Lacey Chabert and Sarah Michelle Gellar (as deduced by my friends during or many recollections of this night over the last decade) - and I instantly fell in love. She looked wickedly innocent and had a tight body to boot. She and I kept eye contact a lot, but I didn't think much of it - she was just doing her job (and doing it damn well). So after watching 3-4 dancers and drinking a ton of beers, we finally decided to get dances. They were a mere ten Canadian dollars a piece, but a 'VIP' room that was closed off with a black curtain was offered for just 5 Canadian dollars more. It was behind a black curtain with an ornate sign that read 'VIP PLEASURE' above the doorway. My friend had the gonads to go VIP first and he came out about ten minutes later, describing the experience as a slightly longer lapdance with more seductive dancing (as if grinding on your crotch whilst topless wasn't seductive enough). I already had a long dance with the Lacey Michelle Gellar dancer which included a lot of kissing, and was tempted to ask her to the VIP room as I stared at her yearningly, but before I could get up to ask her, I noticed her walking in my direction. I remained seated until she arrived in front of me, but before the words came out of my mouth, she grabbed my hand and walked me to the VIP room. This stripper could read minds.

The VIP room is just a dark room lit by candles. There's a black couch that, if hit by a blacklight, would probably illuminate so powerfully that it would be registered from a satellite in outer space as some sort of suspicious nuclear activity. I spent the first 30 seconds surveying the room and eventually made my way to the couch, sitting dead center. Oh, the pathetic rear ends that have inhabited that seat in the past. Without any rhythm to the music ('Lady' by Modjo was playing), Lacey Michelle Gellar ripped off her top and straddled me without hesitation. Something told me (my boner) that I was in for some real Very Important Person treatment. A few minutes of deep, passionate kissing led to over-the-pants stroking, which led to under-the-pants stroking, which led to her advising me via hand motions to pull my shorts down, which led to her applying a conctraceptive to my member, which led to her riding on top of me. About one minute in, the bouncer busted in through the curtain and looked me right in the eye. Then right at her. Then right back at me. She jumped right off, screaming in shock and embarrassment, and ran out of the room. By then the entire staff, a few of the patrons, and all of my friends were peering into the room; all they saw was my terrified mid-orgasm face and my member pointed upwards to the sky like a totem pole. I was so ready to burst that the slightest breeze in my general direction would've made me explode like Eyjafjallajokull (you know, that volcano in Iceland). I carefully removed the condom in front of them all and pulled my boxers up very slowly, careful not to agitate myself, and walked out of the VIP room like I was just caught masturbating by my parents; I hadn't realized that I was revealing my member in its most sensitive and camera-shy state to dozens of strangers and my friends. Upon entering the main room, I saw Lacey Michelle Gellar talking to an older woman, presumably Carol of Cabarat Carol, and just one look from her made me go Mt. Vesuvius in my pants. Thing is, I was wearing boxers, and above that I was wearing Jordan shorts. They're kinda baggy.

I looked down and noticed driplets of 'myself', and in my embarrassment, I smeared them with my feet with a look of defeat in my face - imagine the sad face of a dog eating his own poop. I took one look at the 6'5" 310 lb. bouncer, one look at my friend, who had this frozen, astonished look (the look you'd have if you saw your friends erect penis), one final look at Lacey Michelle Gellar, and booked it out of club. Back at the hotel, I gave my friends a rough play-by-play while scrubbing the soles of my kicks (Air Max 95s), thinking they got the same treatment from their ladies of the night as I did from mine, but it turned out the value of the five extra dollars they spent wasn't anywhere close to the "bang" for buck I got. I was too embarrassed to go back to that strip club throughout the remainder of the trip, but every night after, at least two of my friends did. None reported their own special stories, but what made me feel a bit guilty was that they didn't spot Lacey Michelle Gellar in any of the following nights. Did she get fired? Suspended? Who knows. For about a month after the trip, I visited the Cabaret Carol website religiously to discover her identity, but my efforts were all for naught. Never found out her name nor will I ever, but I will remember her and that night for as long as I shall live.


  
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Whole post is lulz...

Good read tho...
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when i was in high school i got a brand new bedroom set and i wanted my boyfriend to see it but my mom would never allow boys in my room, so one day i decided that we would skip track practice and go to my house and hang out in my room for awhile. neither of us had a car so my boyfriend's best friend drove us to my place and he waited out in the driveway. we didn't plan to stay in there too long and soon as i got to my room my mom started calling me constantly on my cell phone but i didn't answer because i was at "track practice" me and BF start kissing and looking at the mirrors on my bed and he starts kissing my lower area...about 2 minutes into it my mom barges in my room and catches him with his face below going to town. i jump up and hide on the other side of the bed while she's screaming at both of us. she tells him to get out, so he takes his shirt and leaves. im naked from the waist down trying to find some pants or something and she's going off talking about how she just knew she needed to come home early today. damn parental intuition. after she "cooled off" she did applaud me for being strong and abstaining from intercourse, since i was a virgin when all this happened. memories...smh
 
Originally Posted by dunks87

when i was in high school i got a brand new bedroom set and i wanted my boyfriend to see it but my mom would never allow boys in my room, so one day i decided that we would skip track practice and go to my house and hang out in my room for awhile. neither of us had a car so my boyfriend's best friend drove us to my place and he waited out in the driveway. we didn't plan to stay in there too long and soon as i got to my room my mom started calling me constantly on my cell phone but i didn't answer because i was at "track practice" me and BF start kissing and looking at the mirrors on my bed and he starts kissing my lower area...about 2 minutes into it my mom barges in my room and catches him with his face below going to town. i jump up and hide on the other side of the bed while she's screaming at both of us. she tells him to get out, so he takes his shirt and leaves. im naked from the waist down trying to find some pants or something and she's going off talking about how she just knew she needed to come home early today. damn parental intuition. after she "cooled off" she did applaud me for being strong and abstaining from intercourse, since i was a virgin when all this happened. memories...smh
moms man...to this day i still dont know how my mom knew i was at my hs bf's house and not track practice...
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Originally Posted by dunks87

when i was in high school i got a brand new bedroom set and i wanted my boyfriend to see it but my mom would never allow boys in my room, so one day i decided that we would skip track practice and go to my house and hang out in my room for awhile. neither of us had a car so my boyfriend's best friend drove us to my place and he waited out in the driveway. we didn't plan to stay in there too long and soon as i got to my room my mom started calling me constantly on my cell phone but i didn't answer because i was at "track practice" me and BF start kissing and looking at the mirrors on my bed and he starts kissing my lower area...about 2 minutes into it my mom barges in my room and catches him with his face below going to town. i jump up and hide on the other side of the bed while she's screaming at both of us. she tells him to get out, so he takes his shirt and leaves. im naked from the waist down trying to find some pants or something and she's going off talking about how she just knew she needed to come home early today. damn parental intuition. after she "cooled off" she did applaud me for being strong and abstaining from intercourse, since i was a virgin when all this happened. memories...smh
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Man Id feel awkward as hell around my lady's mom if she walked in while I was chowing down on her daughter.

Wouldn't be able to look her in the eye after that.
 
Never said this to anyone. Swear on my daughter. I met up with this chic and went to her hotel. We chopped it up, talked for a while and then I finally made the move. Grabbed her face and started kissing her. Made out for like 5 minutes and got naked. We turned the lamp off next to the bed but I could see a little from the moonlight shinning through the balcony door. I was going to WORK!! I was slam effing this chic and she loved it. So I figured after I made her climax so many times I'ma eat the box and show her my other skills. I go down and so she's going crazy, I'm feeling like the mannn! Next thing you know I taste something funny but I'm like oh, she's just cumming. Then I smelled something.. jumped up and turned the lights on. All I saw was red. She goes 'OMG!' I wipe my face and blood is all on my hand. I run straight in the bathroom and throw up. She comes in and ask am I Ok... I look at her with disgust while I'm scrubbing my face and mouth. I said 'Man you was on your god damn period and you knew it!' She said no, you just screwed me too hard! I swear I'm not. She sits on the bed while I'm getting dressed and we are both quiet. I get up and leave. Never spoke to her again, only a few words on twitter.

SMH

/Real Life.
 
Originally Posted by DMoney82

Never said this to anyone. Swear on my daughter. I met up with this chic and went to her hotel. We chopped it up, talked for a while and then I finally made the move. Grabbed her face and started kissing her. Made out for like 5 minutes and got naked. We turned the lamp off next to the bed but I could see a little from the moonlight shinning through the balcony door. I was going to WORK!! I was slam effing this chic and she loved it. So I figured after I made her climax so many times I'ma eat the box and show her my other skills. I go down and so she's going crazy, I'm feeling like the mannn! Next thing you know I taste something funny but I'm like oh, she's just cumming. Then I smelled something.. jumped up and turned the lights on. All I saw was red. She goes 'OMG!' I wipe my face and blood is all on my hand. I run straight in the bathroom and throw up. She comes in and ask am I Ok... I look at her with disgust while I'm scrubbing my face and mouth. I said 'Man you was on your god damn period and you knew it!' She said no, you just screwed me too hard! I swear I'm not. She sits on the bed while I'm getting dressed and we are both quiet. I get up and leave. Never spoke to her again, only a few words on twitter.

SMH

/Real Life.

damn. i wish i knew how to cue .gifs. WOW. that's always my biggest fear when  a guy does that . this story will ensure i never risk finding out
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Originally Posted by 214

Originally Posted by dunks87

when i was in high school i got a brand new bedroom set and i wanted my boyfriend to see it but my mom would never allow boys in my room, so one day i decided that we would skip track practice and go to my house and hang out in my room for awhile. neither of us had a car so my boyfriend's best friend drove us to my place and he waited out in the driveway. we didn't plan to stay in there too long and soon as i got to my room my mom started calling me constantly on my cell phone but i didn't answer because i was at "track practice" me and BF start kissing and looking at the mirrors on my bed and he starts kissing my lower area...about 2 minutes into it my mom barges in my room and catches him with his face below going to town. i jump up and hide on the other side of the bed while she's screaming at both of us. she tells him to get out, so he takes his shirt and leaves. im naked from the waist down trying to find some pants or something and she's going off talking about how she just knew she needed to come home early today. damn parental intuition. after she "cooled off" she did applaud me for being strong and abstaining from intercourse, since i was a virgin when all this happened. memories...smh
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Man Id feel awkward as hell around my lady's mom if she walked in while I was chowing down on her daughter.

Wouldn't be able to look her in the eye after that.
Happened to me with my ex at her house, we were downstairs watching tv thought everyone was a sleep, I have her stand up pull down her sweats put her against the wall and one leg over my shoulder and I was going to town on that thang munching like crazy
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, she has my fingers in her mouth so she won't yell and next thing you know the lights turn on and I see my ex's mom standing there and she just says "oh my god' and turns around, my ex runs into the bathroom and then the mom decides to start talking to me about how we should get a room instead if we want to do these things and i'm standing there with her daughters juice all over my mouth I didn't know if I should wipe or what so I just left it there till she was done talking and walked away. I didn't go over for about 3 weeks cause I wasn't sure how she was going to react, when I did finally go over she acted like nothing happened. 
 
Originally Posted by Lpheat22

Originally Posted by 214

Originally Posted by dunks87

when i was in high school i got a brand new bedroom set and i wanted my boyfriend to see it but my mom would never allow boys in my room, so one day i decided that we would skip track practice and go to my house and hang out in my room for awhile. neither of us had a car so my boyfriend's best friend drove us to my place and he waited out in the driveway. we didn't plan to stay in there too long and soon as i got to my room my mom started calling me constantly on my cell phone but i didn't answer because i was at "track practice" me and BF start kissing and looking at the mirrors on my bed and he starts kissing my lower area...about 2 minutes into it my mom barges in my room and catches him with his face below going to town. i jump up and hide on the other side of the bed while she's screaming at both of us. she tells him to get out, so he takes his shirt and leaves. im naked from the waist down trying to find some pants or something and she's going off talking about how she just knew she needed to come home early today. damn parental intuition. after she "cooled off" she did applaud me for being strong and abstaining from intercourse, since i was a virgin when all this happened. memories...smh
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Man Id feel awkward as hell around my lady's mom if she walked in while I was chowing down on her daughter.

Wouldn't be able to look her in the eye after that.
Happened to me with my ex at her house, we were downstairs watching tv thought everyone was a sleep, I have her stand up pull down her sweats put her against the wall and one leg over my shoulder and I was going to town on that thang munching like crazy
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, she has my fingers in her mouth so she won't yell and next thing you know the lights turn on and I see my ex's mom standing there and she just says "oh my god' and turns around, my ex runs into the bathroom and then the mom decides to start talking to me about how we should get a room instead if we want to do these things and i'm standing there with her daughters juice all over my mouth I didn't know if I should wipe or what so I just left it there till she was done talking and walked away. I didn't go over for about 3 weeks cause I wasn't sure how she was going to react, when I did finally go over she acted like nothing happened. 

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 Your lady abandoned ship and left u hanging.
 
Originally Posted by ErickM713

Originally Posted by DimesLikeHefner


My ex girlfriend got pregnant and we decided it would be best to abort it. It was a surgical abortion and she was advised not to have sex for 30 days. We had sex after about a week(stupid, I know). We were 69'ing and she used to like it when I would pretty much put her entire @#!*%, +%*%, lips and everything into my mouth and suck it. I sucked it and swallowed a chunk of flesh. Was like waaaaait a minute, then threw her off me and started vomiting all over the bed. She started crying and **** when I told her what was up. She told me when she calmed down that she had been having discharge since the abortion and the doctors told her random bits of flesh/gunky **** might appear for a few weeks. Tasted so ****ing disgusting. Sucked up and swallowed the discharge of an abortion.

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I wana throw up. Believable because the doc does tell you about the discharge X_X
 
Originally Posted by Lpheat22

Happened to me with my ex at her house, we were downstairs watching tv thought everyone was a sleep, I have her stand up pull down her sweats put her against the wall and one leg over my shoulder and I was going to town on that thang munching like crazy
devil.gif
, she has my fingers in her mouth so she won't yell and next thing you know the lights turn on and I see my ex's mom standing there and she just says "oh my god' and turns around, my ex runs into the bathroom and then the mom decides to start talking to me about how we should get a room instead if we want to do these things and i'm standing there with her daughters juice all over my mouth I didn't know if I should wipe or what so I just left it there till she was done talking and walked away. I didn't go over for about 3 weeks cause I wasn't sure how she was going to react, when I did finally go over she acted like nothing happened. 



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real mackish.
  
 
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