TAR - Thread About Relationships vol. Calling TAY Graduates

41,171
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Joined Aug 6, 2012
Fellas, at times when me and my girl are having conversations, it’ll lead to a mother-child conversation. The choice of words, tone and what I should do is really frustrating. I’m her eyes what she’s doing is right and whatever I’m doing is wrong. I’ve never seen her take ownership in anything! I don’t wanna grow to resent her


Bruh!!!

Sounds like my situation. Me and my ex just broke up and this described her perfectly. 100% the same. Women and lack of accountability I'm convinced just boils down to immaturity
 
14,926
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Joined Aug 8, 2012
Bruh!!!

Sounds like my situation. Me and my ex just broke up and this described her perfectly. 100% the same. Women and lack of accountability I'm convinced just boils down to immaturity
I’m like it’s ok to take some accountability. For example, we went out of town for a quick getaway. Just so happens a family friend had a wedding in that town that weekend that I didn’t know about. My parents couldn’t make it and asked if me and the lady can go and represent them. We said sure, we’ll go. We get to the reception and she noticed almost everyone in there was all dressed up and wouldn’t get out the car. We went to the mall the day before, she knew she was gonna attend the reception and could’ve bought something. I was like ok well u stay in the car while I go say hi to some family friends. 5 min in I got her a plate and asked again if she’s coming in, she said no. 15-20 min later I got a text from her saying “I’m about to go, you’re taking too long.” I said whatever and she ended up leaving. I call her to turn around and pick me up and she did. I was pissed cause I had to cut it short and also how important it was for my parents for us to be there. She called me a whole bunch of names saying how I was inconsiderate leaving her in the car alone and all that. Not one time she took accountability or apologized to me or my parents.
 
17,312
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Joined Aug 9, 2012
I’m like it’s ok to take some accountability. For example, we went out of town for a quick getaway. Just so happens a family friend had a wedding in that town that weekend that I didn’t know about. My parents couldn’t make it and asked if me and the lady can go and represent them. We said sure, we’ll go. We get to the reception and she noticed almost everyone in there was all dressed up and wouldn’t get out the car. We went to the mall the day before, she knew she was gonna attend the reception and could’ve bought something. I was like ok well u stay in the car while I go say hi to some family friends. 5 min in I got her a plate and asked again if she’s coming in, she said no. 15-20 min later I got a text from her saying “I’m about to go, you’re taking too long.” I said whatever and she ended up leaving. I call her to turn around and pick me up and she did. I was pissed cause I had to cut it short and also how important it was for my parents for us to be there. She called me a whole bunch of names saying how I was inconsiderate leaving her in the car alone and all that. Not one time she took accountability or apologized to me or my parents.
Once again this my girl right here. We will get invited somewhere with friends and she will decide to underdress then feel embarrassed once we get there.
 
10,063
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Joined Jul 25, 2012
Well I did it! Proposed to the lady last week! I also found out a few days after the engagement, she is pregnant :lol: We had no clue. Wasn’t eem prepared for it. It’s so weird cause we transferred from a one bedroom to a two bedroom apt, got engaged and now pregnant all within a month :lol:

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RIP. Jk, congrats mayne
 
14,926
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Joined Aug 8, 2012
Congrats G. How did you propose?
I proposed on the beach in Honduras. Her fam was there as well. I had it all scripted out on what I wanted to say but all that when out the window. I was nervous and stuttering. Her fam took a video but I’ve yet to see it and don’t want to :lol:
 
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Joined Nov 17, 2013
How does one learn to be romantic?

I don't have a romantic bone in my body. It was an issue for my ex (but she's not the first).

I really need to work on it. Just not really sure how
 
112,934
66,561
Joined Oct 13, 2001
How does one learn to be romantic?

I don't have a romantic bone in my body. It was an issue for my ex (but she's not the first).

I really need to work on it. Just not really sure how
You have to get over yourself first and foremost. That romantic stuff is something I still struggle with. I feel like, "It isn't me." But we all have to do things that aren't US, to operate in this game.

Just force yourself to do "romantic" stuff and don't care about how forced it makes you feel. I personally feel like a b*tch sometimes doing some things, but again, it is part of the game man.

They do plenty of stuff they don't want to for us, so it is only fair
 

$tacy

formerly willchamberlain
23,247
16,017
Joined Nov 24, 2012
How does one learn to be romantic?

I don't have a romantic bone in my body. It was an issue for my ex (but she's not the first).

I really need to work on it. Just not really sure how
Same here. U just really gotta think like her in a way. Idc about none of that **** at all. But sometimes I just think “what would make her happy today?” A simple convo with women and they will tell u all the simple **** that make them smile. That yamb reward make it worth it too.
 
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Joined Nov 17, 2013
Some good advice.

I need to be consistent with it too. My ex actually communicated these things to me. And I would do it for a short while, then revert back to old ways.. smh.

Big thing y'all said is I have to get over myself. Do it for her.
 
10,063
9,288
Joined Jul 25, 2012
How does one learn to be romantic?

I don't have a romantic bone in my body. It was an issue for my ex (but she's not the first).

I really need to work on it. Just not really sure how
Learn how to be affectionate without being overbearing. Sometimes a simple touch on her elbow can turn into a Kama sutra bust it bby session. Humor, patience and power.
 
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Joined Jan 4, 2008
Some good advice.

I need to be consistent with it too. My ex actually communicated these things to me. And I would do it for a short while, then revert back to old ways.. smh.

Big thing y'all said is I have to get over myself. Do it for her.
Yeah man, I think we all have seasons with this stuff where we're super attuned to pleasing them one second, and the next second we're just about our own thing.

Like other's said, I don't really look at romance the same way it's portrayed in Hollywood. It often comes down to listening to your girl and then doing things for her or buying a small something that shows you really were listening to her. Depends on your girl but sometimes it's purely a utility thing too - my girl was complaining about how she was low on a specific sunscreen once and I went to sephora while I was out and brought it back for her...happened two years ago and she still talks about it :lol:

If it helps, one thing I do sometimes is literally put a reminder in my phone to think about something I could do. Like every other week I might get a reminder and just spend 5 mins thinking about if there's something I could do for her or help her out. Makes it so that I'm not on the hook for not "always" thinking about her
 
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Joined Nov 17, 2013
If it helps, one thing I do sometimes is literally put a reminder in my phone to think about something I could do. Like every other week I might get a reminder and just spend 5 mins thinking about if there's something I could do for her or help her out. Makes it so that I'm not on the hook for not "always" thinking about her
I think this is a really great idea... setting a periodic reminder.
 
17,783
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Joined Mar 9, 2010
Any advice on keeping it electric and spicy? Trying to get out of a rut where I'm not exactly all the way there intimately. Sort of lacking a little passion right now, I'm mostly stuck in my head, thinking too much and doing too little.
 
15,100
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Joined Nov 3, 2011
Any advice on keeping it electric and spicy? Trying to get out of a rut where I'm not exactly all the way there intimately. Sort of lacking a little passion right now, I'm mostly stuck in my head, thinking too much and doing too little.
Pull back from her. When she reaches out, plan up a date and initiate some intimacy
 
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