The older you get, the less friends you have....

[rafie004]

quit hating smoke weed punk

 

[oo the roc oo]

My circle of friends definitely got smaller once I graduated college.  I really only talk to 5 friends now....

 

[moderndarwin]

The better question is if you could change this would you? I've always had this fascination with the concept of a 'child' adult society (or at least want to write a book about it). Imagine a society where adults get to play as much as we did during high school etc. If EVERYONE worked (between ages of 18-55) but instead everyone was ONLY (by law) allowed to work 4 hours a day, and 4 days a week how would the world be different? Would people still grow apart as they got older or would they do a lot more.

Interestingly enough, I feel myself getting younger. At 21 I felt 'old' since I didn't have a purpose, at 22-23 I felt depressed a bit by life because I moved to Georgia and I didn't like my job or my colleagues. For the first time in my life I didn't have a support group of 10+ people I could hit up to hang out at all times. I felt truly alone. I moved back to California when I was 23-24 and felt great having my few close friends. However, felt unaccomplished as we would just smoke a lot and bs and not get stuff done. We all had 'jobs' but it wasn't the same as when we were in high school and we hung out all day together.

Now, I am 26 and have a full-time job where I work 5-6 hours a day (12-530 or 1-6:30) everyday. I am doing my masters program at the same time (2 classes) and in my new town (I live in Korea) ALL the foreigners hang out and meet up basically everyday. I go to the gym with some friends on Monday/Wednesday, play soccer Tuesday nights with a lot of people, play hoops Thursday with a lot of people and hang out with my girlfriend Friday-Sunday. I can physically and mentally feel myself getting younger and younger. Joints hurt less, can play hoops and soccer for 3 hours evryday again. I am enjoying 'playing' and life in a way I forgot was possible. It is ONLY possible because everyone in this town lives within 10 minutes of each other. I don't even have a car. Just ride my bike to the park, to each others places etc. It is an amazing feeling because you feel like you have a 'community'. I realize living back in Cali I had to drive, i had to make time, couldn't be spontaenous etc etc. The life blood was just slowly being sucked out because of what needs to be done daily.

Not saying I have a perfect life..just I've found a fountain of youth and it seems to be that sense of community mixed with the right opportunity. I love Cali and will head back there, but only once I finish my masters and am ready to settle down. Being 22-31 (and not married) is an extremely tough thing for people of our generation. Power to us...we live in a society that enables us to connect, but at the same time doesn't give us the time or energy to utilize that to build the bonds that really give passion and flavor to our prime years.

 

[rarenikepairs]

Ive burnt all my brigdes with dudes that i outgrew,i could care less about them. I kept my right hand man tho, thats my guy everyone else can kick rocks across da sea. After i graduated, if dudes were'nt about their cash then i erased them out my circle point blank. Besides my dude id rather chill with females anyway

 

[lou baton]

People grow apart, grow up, interests change, lives change. It happens. I'm 30 and live 2500 miles from where I grew up but still keep in close touch with about 3 people from my teen/pre-teen days but I met some of the greatest friends I could ever ask for in my mid to late 20s.

 

[dunks r nice]

I feel the same way. 23 as well.

 

[All Ready]

i learned what real friends were at an early age so my amount of friends never changed

everybody else are just people i see in passing or grew up with

 

[Peep Game]

Originally Posted by kix28

Yup that's pretty true. Teachers in high school would always say that out of high school your group of friends start to slowly lessen one by one. It is true. Also honestly it depends on how close you are to that person. If you are real friends you will always go out of your way to still talk bullchit with them and chill and vice versa.

Very true. I'm still cool with a lot of my friends from high school and even middle school, so I was baffled late in college up in Arkansas when I was
hearing that a lot of my friends up there wanted nothing to do with their old high school friends/associates. Seemed like a small town type thing, at 

least up there.

 

[youngdoc]

Originally Posted by Focused22

I'm 23, and I realize everyday how much smaller my inner circle has gotten.

I'm not lonely by any means and I have plenty of acquaintances, but less true friends.

I didn't burn bridges with anyone technically, but I just don't associate myself or kick it with people who don't have a similar mindset as me. I can't be around people who are over 21 and still smoke trees daily and just have this complacent mindset.Im trying to go places in life, and successful people hang around other successful people.

I value the true friends I have, and would do anything for them. But my advice for you younger guys - All those people in high school you were friends with, you'll likely only still keep in touch with 1 or 2 or of them. Maybe more if you're lucky......

Anyone else feel me?

I'm with you.

I'm still cool with a lot of people from HS and college but in terms of people I would consider close friends I can trust it's probably 10 combined.

I'm of the belief that you don't need or even want a large inner circle.

 

[focused22]

Originally Posted by ShadyKay NT

Maybe a majority of them were never really your "friends"

I guess it all depends on what you define a friend as.

Looking back at high school for example, I had a ton of people who I knew and would maybe play ball with after school. I guess then I considered them friends, but even then, most of them weren't people I would ever confide in or truly kick it with. So were they friends?

And I agree with what some of you are pointing out, especially on NT - Some people feel like they need to run 10 people deep or have a large sum of friends to feel important or wanted.

I never made this post because I was lonely or whatnot. I actually prefer to have a close, tight inner circle of friends. I already know this life is an individual game, and 99% of other people aren't going to help you take that next step to success for one of two reasons:

a. They would rather help themselves and not give anybody any handouts as this is a selfish world

or

b. They're settled in life and their ways and are not a position to help you anyway.....AKA the ones who didn't finish college, settled for an hourly/entry-level job. (Im not taking anything away from these people as friends or saying they aren't capable of being true friends, I guess Im getting sidetracked and my business mentality is kicking in.)

The other 1% may look out for you, and those 1% classify as close work colleagues, or your best friend(s) in that circle you create.

 

[werunsf]

Is it easier, now, to keep in touch with your friends from high school

if you had a bigger group of friends graduating from hs

or

small group of friends.


i ask this because everyone in the big group ended up going to college together so nobody really left anywhere. But my other group of friends (small group) barely talks to each other. Normally you'd think that it would be the other way around, does this happen to any of yall?

 

[hazeleyed honey]

This is common sense as you age. Eventually, you get your own family, and part ways. Even with your close friends, there grows a distance since you are so preoccupied in taking care of your own family.

I have only a few people I consider true friends and the rest I consider acquaintances. I am also lucky to have friends who I've grown up with and stuck with through thick and thin since my childhood.

 

[rocky437]

Also a lot of times the people around you are holding you back from achieving your dreams. You might have haters, or others who are a waste of time to chill with and talk to. Cut them out and achieve your goals. 

 

[thytkerjobs]

always had a small circle. best way to go.

 

[richiecotite]

people have to realize the difference between friends and buddies.

just because you spend a lot of time with a person doesn't make you friends, it just means you spent a lot of time with them. The inverse is also true.

but it does suck when you realize you have nothing really in common with a friend, and kind of let that relationship slide away.

FWIW, i have 4 friends and maybe about 6 or so buddies.

 

[misterp0315]

Understood, OP.

In HS, you're around friends and teammates about 8 hours a weekday and/or hanging with them on the weekend or after school.
In college, you're a hop, skip, and step away from everybody...not to mention the ample free time you have.

After college or at least around that age of 22...23...or sometimes immediately after HS, real life comes into play. Kids. Girlfriends. Wives. Jobs. Military. Change of location. And sometimes, you're friends just might not be on what you're on. Their focus might be all off as you progress.

You're no longer around the corner from your people. That's why I value social networks because it's a great way to keep in touch with people but of course, it's not the same as before.

 

[eight2one]

im in the same boat......but it's life, also meet new people regularly...

 

[xairmaxinx]

I feel this post to the heart. I recently decided on a career and when I decided to tell my friends and parents they were less than happy. It's a great career, Certified Financial Planner, it just requires a lot of work. It's crazy because recently I've been cleaning my life up. No more alcohol, partying, late nights out on the town. All of that just doesn't interest me. I've been reading more about economics and I actually ditched TV and internet. I still hang with the same people, but I feel judged. People feel more inclined to influence you to do negative things than positive now, and that's real. If I could leave you all with something in this post, it's go for self. As long as you believe in yourself that's all you need.

 

[kickstart]

You lonely bruh. Don't be shamed.

 

[nocomment6]

Originally Posted by SUSHI AND GRITS

I always say, this life game is an individual game.

no multiplayer option.

 

[midnight hype]

well you have a family, youre sole purpouse is to tend to wifey and make sure youre kids achieve the american dream.

 

[jking0821]

24 years old.  I have probably 3 true guy friends that I hang out with regularly.

I have had "best friends" come and go.  Usually they get a girl friend and just disappear.  With lifestlyes changing you have less time to see friends in general.  So when you work a full time job, like to work out after work, and run errands and relax after work you basically have maybe 1-2 weeknights when your willing to see friends...and the weekends. 

All my friends in a relationships hang with their girls all weekend and then if you have some family event or some work thing one weekend night you don't see your friends.  So you go 2-3-4-5 weeks without seeing some people you just drift. 

 

[potus2028]

I know the feeling...I really only hang out with one dude (my homie since middle school) and my woman on a regular basis...idk, people seem to either do too much for me or not enough for themselves.

 

[jewseejay]

es verdad.

 

[peteweezy]

Originally Posted by MR J 858

I just turned 32 and honestly 2 of my best friends I've known since we were kids. The rest are some friends from high school, college, past & current friends I made at places I've worked at.

Honestly this is exactly why Facebook works. First off I got a lot of close & immediate family on there and also family members who are in the Philippines who I haven't even seen in over 10+ years. Second the nice part is I still have friends on facebook who I've not seen since graduating from high school and I honestly don't really give a damn what they're up to in life but at the same time I would say "What up" if I ran into them at some random spot in my city or somewhere else. Third I got friends on there who I met at places at work and we just BS about random stuff like Sports or whatever.

But yeah my 2 best friends who I've known since we were kids and about 5 other friends from high school still kick it, go out for drinks, play basketball, and attend each others important family events.

This exactly describes outside the Philippines even the age. I've had my same main friends I grew up with (one of my friends our moms went to school k-12 together)and a few I met in college. Besides that I have a few cats we go out together but that's about it.