To all my married/divorced NTers...

popcornplaya

popcornplaya

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Feb 23, 2010
When did you know that you wanted to marry your spouse/ex-spouse?

Was there an event, or something they said, that sealed the deal? How early was it in the relationship when you first started pondering about marriage?

To my divorced people, when did you know divorce was the only option left? What caused it?

#curious,
nerd.gif
 
When did you know that you wanted to marry your spouse/ex-spouse?

Was there an event, or something they said, that sealed the deal? How early was it in the relationship when you first started pondering about marriage?

To my divorced people, when did you know divorce was the only option left? What caused it?

#curious,
nerd.gif
 
Not alot of married/divorced NTers out there.  I've been married going on 3 years now.  Can't explain how I knew, I just knew.  We both did.  We were only dating 2 months before we decided to get married.  It was a rare case of finding someone who you just fit with.  It's not like we spent all our time together because we were all lovey dovey, it's just once we started hanging out, we both just seemed to fit together, and nothing else seemed like an option anymore.

Just before that, I had broken up with a girl I was dating for 3 years and living with for 2 and a half.  I moved out of state with her and everything, and it took 3 years for us to realize, or for me to realize that the relationship was going absolutely nowhere and that I was miserable.  I knew we were pretty much done cause I moved out of state to be with her while she went to grad school.  I started a new job/career and in the beginning I was dead broke, every penny I had went to paying the rent and bills and just holding up my half of things.  She still complained about how I wasn't making enough money yet and wasn't the least bit supportive.  Anyway, the job took off great in about 3 months time, but by then I knew we were done.  She was just using me as a roomate/company while she was going to school and she had no use for me after that, so I deaded it before that first year was up. 
 
Not alot of married/divorced NTers out there.  I've been married going on 3 years now.  Can't explain how I knew, I just knew.  We both did.  We were only dating 2 months before we decided to get married.  It was a rare case of finding someone who you just fit with.  It's not like we spent all our time together because we were all lovey dovey, it's just once we started hanging out, we both just seemed to fit together, and nothing else seemed like an option anymore.

Just before that, I had broken up with a girl I was dating for 3 years and living with for 2 and a half.  I moved out of state with her and everything, and it took 3 years for us to realize, or for me to realize that the relationship was going absolutely nowhere and that I was miserable.  I knew we were pretty much done cause I moved out of state to be with her while she went to grad school.  I started a new job/career and in the beginning I was dead broke, every penny I had went to paying the rent and bills and just holding up my half of things.  She still complained about how I wasn't making enough money yet and wasn't the least bit supportive.  Anyway, the job took off great in about 3 months time, but by then I knew we were done.  She was just using me as a roomate/company while she was going to school and she had no use for me after that, so I deaded it before that first year was up. 
 
I was divorced and it was really easy, the other had my son with me, I had to raise him on my own, and that is how I knew I had to back away.
 
I was divorced and it was really easy, the other had my son with me, I had to raise him on my own, and that is how I knew I had to back away.
 
Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Just tell us the back story first.
Click to expand...

Basically, my newest gf is dropping subtle hints about us being long-term and whatnot. We haven't even been dating for a month yet. And it's summer, no less.

She'll say things like "You know how you can tell that someone will be apart of your life for a long time?" Or "Sometimes, you just know that a person is the one." I mean, I like her a lot and everything, and I'd be lying if I said I couldn't imagine it, but I haven't really given it as much thought as she obviously has.

She went as far as to put on Say Yes to the Dress yesterday, and was trying to chat about a budget.

I still like her, and while it'd normally creep me the f out, coming from her, it doesn't (well, it does, but not in a bad way I suppose.) I just haven't really had the epiphany she has had, I guess.

I was just wondering some other peoples' experiences.
 
Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Just tell us the back story first.
Click to expand...

Basically, my newest gf is dropping subtle hints about us being long-term and whatnot. We haven't even been dating for a month yet. And it's summer, no less.

She'll say things like "You know how you can tell that someone will be apart of your life for a long time?" Or "Sometimes, you just know that a person is the one." I mean, I like her a lot and everything, and I'd be lying if I said I couldn't imagine it, but I haven't really given it as much thought as she obviously has.

She went as far as to put on Say Yes to the Dress yesterday, and was trying to chat about a budget.

I still like her, and while it'd normally creep me the f out, coming from her, it doesn't (well, it does, but not in a bad way I suppose.) I just haven't really had the epiphany she has had, I guess.

I was just wondering some other peoples' experiences.
 
Originally Posted by popcornplaya

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Just tell us the back story first.
Click to expand...

Basically, my newest gf is dropping subtle hints about us being long-term and whatnot. We haven't even been dating for a month yet. And it's summer, no less.

She'll say things like "You know how you can tell that someone will be apart of your life for a long time?" Or "Sometimes, you just know that a person is the one." I mean, I like her a lot and everything, and I'd be lying if I said I couldn't imagine it, but I haven't really given it as much thought as she obviously has.

She went as far as to put on Say Yes to the Dress yesterday, and was trying to chat about a budget.

I still like her, and while it'd normally creep me the f out, coming from her, it doesn't (well, it does, but not in a bad way I suppose.) I just haven't really had the epiphany she has had, I guess.

I was just wondering some other peoples' experiences.
Click to expand...

Slow your roles doggies
  
 
Originally Posted by popcornplaya

Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

Just tell us the back story first.
Click to expand...

Basically, my newest gf is dropping subtle hints about us being long-term and whatnot. We haven't even been dating for a month yet. And it's summer, no less.

She'll say things like "You know how you can tell that someone will be apart of your life for a long time?" Or "Sometimes, you just know that a person is the one." I mean, I like her a lot and everything, and I'd be lying if I said I couldn't imagine it, but I haven't really given it as much thought as she obviously has.

She went as far as to put on Say Yes to the Dress yesterday, and was trying to chat about a budget.

I still like her, and while it'd normally creep me the f out, coming from her, it doesn't (well, it does, but not in a bad way I suppose.) I just haven't really had the epiphany she has had, I guess.

I was just wondering some other peoples' experiences.
Click to expand...

Slow your roles doggies
  
 
1. Wow, that is a red-flag. How old is she? Maybe her internal clock is running short

2. I know that has to turn you off though. It would turn me off. You say it doesn't creep you out but it has to bother you somewhat, which is why I think you made this thread.

3. How have you been addressing it? Just ignoring it? I think you need to speak up and tell her that she is jumping the gun and it is really not comfortable that she keeps inferring about getting married. SHe might not know that it is bothering you if you are keeping quiet. Respect her enough to let her know she is messing up.
 
1. Wow, that is a red-flag. How old is she? Maybe her internal clock is running short

2. I know that has to turn you off though. It would turn me off. You say it doesn't creep you out but it has to bother you somewhat, which is why I think you made this thread.

3. How have you been addressing it? Just ignoring it? I think you need to speak up and tell her that she is jumping the gun and it is really not comfortable that she keeps inferring about getting married. SHe might not know that it is bothering you if you are keeping quiet. Respect her enough to let her know she is messing up.
 
Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

1. Wow, that is a red-flag. How old is she? Maybe her internal clock is running short

2. I know that has to turn you off though. It would turn me off. You say it doesn't creep you out but it has to bother you somewhat, which is why I think you made this thread.

3. How have you been addressing it? Just ignoring it? I think you need to speak up and tell her that she is jumping the gun and it is really not comfortable that she keeps inferring about getting married. SHe might not know that it is bothering you if you are keeping quiet. Respect her enough to let her know she is messing up.
Click to expand...

She's 19 (I'm 18.) And we both agreed that we're far too young to get married. Her roommates make jokes about us being married all the time because we act like we've been dating for a long time. We've been friends for a while, and only recently have we become an official couple. (Which is why I guess it's not so alarming.)

It's not really a "turn off," per se. It's just odd for me to really give it any thought, I guess. I always imagined myself not really even considering marriage until my mid/late 20s.

We had that chat last night. She was dropping hints, and I basically said that it was too early for me to really give it any serious thought because we've only really been together for less than a month (I suppose a couple of months since we first really went on a legitimate date instead of hanging out.)

It's not really bothering me, though. It's just on my mind. And I figured it'd be an interesting topic anyways.
 
Originally Posted by DCAllAmerican

1. Wow, that is a red-flag. How old is she? Maybe her internal clock is running short

2. I know that has to turn you off though. It would turn me off. You say it doesn't creep you out but it has to bother you somewhat, which is why I think you made this thread.

3. How have you been addressing it? Just ignoring it? I think you need to speak up and tell her that she is jumping the gun and it is really not comfortable that she keeps inferring about getting married. SHe might not know that it is bothering you if you are keeping quiet. Respect her enough to let her know she is messing up.
Click to expand...

She's 19 (I'm 18.) And we both agreed that we're far too young to get married. Her roommates make jokes about us being married all the time because we act like we've been dating for a long time. We've been friends for a while, and only recently have we become an official couple. (Which is why I guess it's not so alarming.)

It's not really a "turn off," per se. It's just odd for me to really give it any thought, I guess. I always imagined myself not really even considering marriage until my mid/late 20s.

We had that chat last night. She was dropping hints, and I basically said that it was too early for me to really give it any serious thought because we've only really been together for less than a month (I suppose a couple of months since we first really went on a legitimate date instead of hanging out.)

It's not really bothering me, though. It's just on my mind. And I figured it'd be an interesting topic anyways.
 
Whoa she is just 19 acting like that. Is she getting pressure from any family members to get married ASAP? Wow, I wasn't expecting her to be that young.
 
Whoa she is just 19 acting like that. Is she getting pressure from any family members to get married ASAP? Wow, I wasn't expecting her to be that young.
 
Uhh yeah....slow it down there player. For one, you're mad young. Two, it has been a month.

Marriage shouldn't even be discussed at this point in time if you ask me.
 
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