To the girl that pooped in my Honda

1,035
10
Joined Feb 23, 2006
sorry if posted

http://newjersey.craigslist.org/mis/1163906336.html

" We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have everbeen on, but I am willing to look past that.

I thought we had chemistry sitting at Applebees sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Amstel Light. I really felt like there was a connectionthere. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.

At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don't feelbad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said "First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me" was meantto be funny, not offensive.

I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle'slap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it"gambling".

I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bitbetter...like when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat.

What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber andless taxing on the digestive tract.

I await your call,
Tad

P.S. - If you !%+! yourself on purpose to end the evening early…touché…

  • Location: Hackettstown
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests "
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wj4

13,065
2,318
Joined Jul 6, 2002
This is as good as the one I've read about a dude apologizing for flooding the rest room floor at a Best Buy because of his almighty #2. Dudes reallyhave interesting imagination.
 

jibbycanoe

Banned
1,803
10
Joined Jan 28, 2008
all of those best of sound the same. funny yes, but the style is too similar
anyhow, never trust a fart
 
30
10
Joined May 9, 2009
Originally Posted by jeyel

sorry if posted

http://newjersey.craigslist.org/mis/1163906336.html

" We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.

I thought we had chemistry sitting at Applebees sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Amstel Light. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.

At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don't feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said "First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me" was meant to be funny, not offensive.

I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling".

I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better...like when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat.

What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.

I await your call,
Tad

P.S. - If you !%+! yourself on purpose to end the evening early…touché…

  • Location: Hackettstown
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests "
[table][tr][td][/td] [td][/td] [/tr][tr][td][/td] [td][/td] [/tr][/table]

Tooooo funny
and its even better that its in New Jersey, lol
 
4,953
114
Joined Jan 28, 2003
This reminds me a story from my first year in college.

RA left town for the weekend. We had a big party in the suite. RA comes back the next morning. I see him coming in as I'm walking to the bathroom.Conversation ensues.

RA: Wow, it's a mess in here.
Me: Yeah.
RA: What is that smell?
Me: I don't know, it does smell though.
RA: It smells like $@#*.
Me: It does!
*RA checks around the room*
RA: Somebody took a $@#* on this backpack!
Me:

RA: I'm throwing it outside. I hope nobody wanted that backpack.

 
652
11
Joined Dec 6, 2006
damn anybody know where to find that best buy one or any others? This gave me a pretty good laugh.
 
4,297
16
Joined Jun 4, 2008
Originally Posted by jeyel

sorry if posted

http://newjersey.craigslist.org/mis/1163906336.html

" We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.

I thought we had chemistry sitting at Applebees sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Amstel Light. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.

At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don't feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said "First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me" was meant to be funny, not offensive.

I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling".

I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better...like when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat.

What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.

I await your call,
Tad

P.S. - If you !%+! yourself on purpose to end the evening early…touché…

  • Location: Hackettstown
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests "
[table][tr][td][/td] [td][/td] [/tr][tr][td][/td] [td][/td] [/tr][/table]

 
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