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I think you're in the wrong on this one. Your first reply trivialized the OP's situation. Just brush it off? It's clearly not that easy right?OP's riding a rollercoaster of emotions.
Yesterday my parents decide to tell me that I am adopted. I'm 21!!!!
I think you're in the wrong on this one. Your first reply trivialized the OP's situation. Just brush it off? It's clearly not that easy right?OP's riding a rollercoaster of emotions.
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Well do you think if your parents told you earlier in life you would have reacted different?
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I understand why your angry but be glad you didnt have to live in a foster house.
Like they said they probably didnt tell you earlier to say themselves the headaches, you know you not have listened to them in your teen years. Probably triedrubbing it in their face or something, these are all assumptions though, i have no clue.
be happy they raised you, gave you love and happiness.
Like they said they probably didnt tell you earlier to say themselves the headaches, you know you not have listened to them in your teen years. Probably triedrubbing it in their face or something, these are all assumptions though, i have no clue.
be happy they raised you, gave you love and happiness.
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They just waited till your mature enough.
just be glad that they raised you as their own and loved you
just be glad that they raised you as their own and loved you
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you should be happy none the less
too all the people saying why they wait so long well when would have been a good time there isnt a good time
to the OP be happy that somebody loved you
you could of been in the system or not even alive
thats your fam dont let it upset you
too all the people saying why they wait so long well when would have been a good time there isnt a good time
to the OP be happy that somebody loved you
you could of been in the system or not even alive
thats your fam dont let it upset you
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Interesting.
That would make me feel a bit alienated/confused as well. Kinda pulls the earth right from under you and changes your life and it's perspective.
It's cool that you had parents that loved and cared for you still.
Adopting FTW!
That would make me feel a bit alienated/confused as well. Kinda pulls the earth right from under you and changes your life and it's perspective.
It's cool that you had parents that loved and cared for you still.
Adopting FTW!
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haha yeah okay my bad OP. ill take the L.
i agree. id be mad!
i agree. id be mad!
DeadsetAce
Supporter
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thats crazy man. my ex is adopted, she was told early on and i mean it's obvious since shes half asian but her rents are both white. the important thing toremember is that your parents love you just the same.
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FYL
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Dont take this the wrong way, because I have no intentions of bashing you. I have no idea what you are going through and I wont pretend to.
They probably waited so long because they wanted you to take the news like an adult. They probably figured that telling you at a young age would make you turnagainst them and/or act out of line/use it against them everytime you had a disagreement. Honestly, it wouldn't suprise me if they set the age of 21 assoon as they adopted you.
My finaces' cousin is about to go through something similar. It's kinda complicated too.
All her life, she has thought her step dad is her real dad. He has raised her since she was an infant. Here is where it takes a twist - She is 14 now and allthrough school they have registered her under his last name, so she thinks her last name is the same as her "dads". Once she goes to get her license,she is in for a big suprise - her last name is totally different. Her legal last name is the same as her bio dads, which she has never met/never heard of....
So, she will learn that her "dad" is not really her dad and that her name is not really her name......
They probably waited so long because they wanted you to take the news like an adult. They probably figured that telling you at a young age would make you turnagainst them and/or act out of line/use it against them everytime you had a disagreement. Honestly, it wouldn't suprise me if they set the age of 21 assoon as they adopted you.
My finaces' cousin is about to go through something similar. It's kinda complicated too.
All her life, she has thought her step dad is her real dad. He has raised her since she was an infant. Here is where it takes a twist - She is 14 now and allthrough school they have registered her under his last name, so she thinks her last name is the same as her "dads". Once she goes to get her license,she is in for a big suprise - her last name is totally different. Her legal last name is the same as her bio dads, which she has never met/never heard of....
So, she will learn that her "dad" is not really her dad and that her name is not really her name......
cemo757
Banned
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Its all good Mecks. I just talked to my parents and they are driving up tomorrow, and we are going out to eat to talk a little more. My mom is more upset thanI am. My grandma called me up crying and apologizing. I told them I love them and I would not trade them for anything in the world. I think I just need sometime to digest all this.
superblytrife
Supporter
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People put too much stock into this adoption thing.
I'm adopted and quite frankly, if you have had a good life so far, there isn't much to complain about. Sure your parents could have told you earlier,but they didn't. Now you know and you must move on. Of course take time to process it, but don't dwell on it. I've met my birth family and actuallylive near them now, and I can say that they have no bearing on who I am today. Its been great getting to know them but in no way do I feel any more completethan I did before. In other words, they don't make you who you are.
Personally, I would never wait this long to tell my kid that though. My mom let me know from the time I was a young kid. It didn't affect in any way how Ilooked at her. And yeah there were times I wondered about where I came from, but trust that there are much worse things to worry about as a kid. Besides, ifyou have the proper support and communication, you can tackle those problems as they arise.
I'm adopted and quite frankly, if you have had a good life so far, there isn't much to complain about. Sure your parents could have told you earlier,but they didn't. Now you know and you must move on. Of course take time to process it, but don't dwell on it. I've met my birth family and actuallylive near them now, and I can say that they have no bearing on who I am today. Its been great getting to know them but in no way do I feel any more completethan I did before. In other words, they don't make you who you are.
Personally, I would never wait this long to tell my kid that though. My mom let me know from the time I was a young kid. It didn't affect in any way how Ilooked at her. And yeah there were times I wondered about where I came from, but trust that there are much worse things to worry about as a kid. Besides, ifyou have the proper support and communication, you can tackle those problems as they arise.
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I'd understand why you'd be upset. I'm pretty sure a lot of #%!% is running through your head at this moment, but I don't think you should actthe way you are. Most importantly, you shouldn't be upset at your grandparents because they kept it from you. I'm sure it was your parents idea andthey were just respecting that. They [your parents] probably felt that things would change if you were told at a younger age or that they were protecting you,and that you were currently mature enough to comprehend the situation. I doubt they meant any harm.
Its def tough to find that out. Regardless of how much you Love your parents, I'm sure your curious on where you come from. Its good to know your familiespast, especially for health and other things that can run in the family. If possible, you should try to do some research. Good luck with it all and try not tobe too hard. I'm sure your reaction is hurting them as well.
Its def tough to find that out. Regardless of how much you Love your parents, I'm sure your curious on where you come from. Its good to know your familiespast, especially for health and other things that can run in the family. If possible, you should try to do some research. Good luck with it all and try not tobe too hard. I'm sure your reaction is hurting them as well.
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If you feel like this and you're 21 what do you think you would do if you were young and dumber...
Sorry to hear about the loss of your moms... Just know that you have loving people around you that care for you dearly,
you aint got it bad...take a breather and move forward... you'll see your mom later... don't worry about it
Sorry to hear about the loss of your moms... Just know that you have loving people around you that care for you dearly,
you aint got it bad...take a breather and move forward... you'll see your mom later... don't worry about it
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In all seriousness.... real #%%...AT LEAST SOMEBODY WANTED YOU.
You coulda been an orphan or out on the streets somewhere..so you need to put things into perspective..that's life.
I can see why you might be mad or don't know how to feel.
They should have told you when you turned 18 IMO..but at the end of the day at least you have a family.
You coulda been an orphan or out on the streets somewhere..so you need to put things into perspective..that's life.
I can see why you might be mad or don't know how to feel.
They should have told you when you turned 18 IMO..but at the end of the day at least you have a family.
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That sucks, but I'm sure it was a really hard situation for them, too. At what age do you tell your child that you're not really their parent? Theyprobably were trying to protect the family that they made.
There really isn't a right time to spring this news on someone. Keep in mind that they make mistakes too, and it was a really tough situation on all ends.They raised you. They're your parents. They made you who you are.
I'm sure you want to find out more about your father now.
There really isn't a right time to spring this news on someone. Keep in mind that they make mistakes too, and it was a really tough situation on all ends.They raised you. They're your parents. They made you who you are.
I'm sure you want to find out more about your father now.
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^ Agree.
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keep your head up bro. I am adopted too. It was probably just as hard for them to find the right time to tell you
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not in your shoes so i cant speak on it heavily but what I do know is the few people I know that KNEW they were adopted from a young age have serious problems.
and its like their parents treat them so well but its like their parents can never do enough. take it for what its worth, but I feel like telling you at atime where you are mature could really be beneficial in a lot of ways. obviously there's that compound of years affect, but being a mature adult handlingthis is much diff than a young kid
and its like their parents treat them so well but its like their parents can never do enough. take it for what its worth, but I feel like telling you at atime where you are mature could really be beneficial in a lot of ways. obviously there's that compound of years affect, but being a mature adult handlingthis is much diff than a young kid
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You're in a tough situation, but at the same time you should thankful that you were lucky enough to have two loving parents. A lot of kids never get tohave the kind of opportunity that you had.
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If I were you I wouldn't even care about your biological father. Your real father is the man that raised you.
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Look at the bright side....At lease you did not grow up on the streets only rocking a purple vest with white parachute pants and a beige patch to cover a holewith a pet monkey.
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can you get duel citizenship somehow??? That would be tight
