Yo, NT...whatcha think of my book? (topic:unplanned parenthood) *UPDATE* book done, read outro pg.2

[potus2028]

Aight, so for the last few months I've been working on this second book called "What to Expect When You're Expecting (the Worst)". It's based on a true story (mine) and it's well under construction, I'm almost done now. It's a little...unorthodox...since not wanting kids even when one's on the way ain't always polite dinner convo, but I feel it's time for somebody to finally speak the truth on this thing from a mostly male perspective.

Thing is, I wanted to get a little feedback on how I'm doing so far...this is the first one I've done totally from scratch and I feel that NT is a good place to get some real opinions on it. If you wanna check out the intro to the book, it's over there beneath that hat, or below, if you don't mind reading a whole book chapter...kind of a long read if you don't do that much, I dig it.

Anyway, thanks in advance for your help and/or snide remarks about too many words on a text-based message board.

The Intr…oh, $@%@.







Well…you done %%%$%# up now. If you have this book in both hands right now, one of 2 things are likely: either you have friends with a really twisted sense of humor or you just got some chick pregnant. (Either way, your purchase was appreciated.) If you’re like me, this is somewhat of an unwelcome development at this time in your life, but unless you’re the kind of guy who goes around buttering hardwood floors every time something goes awry in your life, you are now staring down the barrel of something that can end your life as you know it: parenthood.



Maybe you thought she was on birth control, maybe she didn’t keep track of her moon woman cycles or whatever, maybe you got caught by the ripped raincoat or the dreaded halo, maybe you just played it fast and loose one too many times, alcohol was likely involved…in any case, she’s pregnant, and it’s very likely your problem too. (Of course, you should get that checked out officially, but we’ll talk about that later.) If you choose to stay with her, you are now just as pregnant as she is…this book is much about accepting this, and somehow still almost liking her anyway.



That’s right, for best results in most cases, it ain’t just “me

 

[yeah]

Always been a fan of your writing style. I'll check it out during my lunch break.

 

[potus2028]

Originally Posted by Yeah

Always been a fan of your writing style. I'll check it out during my lunch break.

Damn, that seriously picked my day up...hard to be lazy when you hear #@@@ like this, I'm doing a chapter today just for you...thanks bro.

 

[lalph rauren]

P4l

 

[T0INE]

Interesting take on the situation to say the least.

I appreciate the blunt, brutal honesty.

I'm sure that went over great with your girl.

Entertaining read.

 

[47539]

YAS

 

[potus2028]

Originally Posted by toine2983

Interesting take on the situation to say the least.

I appreciate the blunt, brutal honesty.

I'm sure that went over great with your girl.

Entertaining read.

you ain't seen nothing yet. I figured if I was stuck in this, I might as well get my feelings on the situation out...and no, she wasn't the biggest fan of the idea, but considering that she made a pretty permanent decision without my input, doing the same to her about makes us about even.

...seriously, glad you felt my lil preview tho.

 

[sonoftony]

great read OP. Keep it UP!!

 

[potus2028]

Originally Posted by ectheg

YAS

I sure wasn't for about 6 months...that made the whole thing so much more fun. (Course, there's a whole chapter on that called "Ice Box".)

Originally Posted by SonOfTony

great read OP. Keep it UP!!

Def will, man...only got like 6 chapters to go. "Preciate it!

 

[cbass625]

posting for later.

 

[yeah]

Originally Posted by potus2028

Originally Posted by Yeah

Always been a fan of your writing style. I'll check it out during my lunch break.

Damn, that seriously picked my day up...hard to be lazy when you hear #@@@ like this, I'm doing a chapter today just for you...thanks bro.

Yeah man. You really put your personality into your posts, and I usually always laugh when I see that SN.

I thought the first chapter was really funny. Brutally honest... I queued up the alonzo mourning gif when you apologized to your child if he ever reads it. I definitely like the direction you're taking though. I think the voice of the unwilling (but present) father to be is one often muted because of how people buy into the "baby miracle of life" stuff.

Alas, I know you want criticism as well. It felt a little too casual for a book. It's like you're tip toeing the line between providing advice to would-be parents and providing them comedic relief, which I think is a good threshold to project your writing through, but it doesn't read as though it's totally blending. At least in my opinion, it felt like I was going back and forth between joke mode and advice mode.

Granted, I know this is just the beginning and I'm sure you'll go through some edits, but that is my first impression. That's not to say I don't think you do a good job (I liked the reading,) but I want to be constructive as well. Hope this helps, and I look forward to seeing more of it.

 

[Sir San Diego]

I got two of them fam...

Ex-wife got me when I was on my way out the first time... and then agin. Love them, but damn, do I feel that.

 

[fresh2deff]

I dont read much but I would deff sit down to read your book.

 

[ebozek9]

I really enjoyed what I read man through that link. I wouldn't mind actually buying the book when it comes out. Interesting writing style and it didn't feel like I was reading some bullcrap, your true personality shined through and it was interesting.

 

[potus2028]

Originally Posted by Yeah

Originally Posted by potus2028

Originally Posted by Yeah

Always been a fan of your writing style. I'll check it out during my lunch break.

Damn, that seriously picked my day up...hard to be lazy when you hear #@@@ like this, I'm doing a chapter today just for you...thanks bro.

Yeah man. You really put your personality into your posts, and I usually always laugh when I see that SN.

I thought the first chapter was really funny. Brutally honest... I queued up the alonzo mourning gif when you apologized to your child if he ever reads it. I definitely like the direction you're taking though. I think the voice of the unwilling (but present) father to be is one often muted because of how people buy into the "baby miracle of life" stuff.

Alas, I know you want criticism as well. It felt a little too casual for a book. It's like you're tip toeing the line between providing advice to would-be parents and providing them comedic relief, which I think is a good threshold to project your writing through, but it doesn't read as though it's totally blending. At least in my opinion, it felt like I was going back and forth between joke mode and advice mode.

Granted, I know this is just the beginning and I'm sure you'll go through some edits, but that is my first impression. That's not to say I don't think you do a good job (I liked the reading,) but I want to be constructive as well. Hope this helps, and I look forward to seeing more of it.

This is exactly what I wanted and I can tell you really get what I'm trying to do. The "miracle" of life has happened over 20 times since I hit "quote". Never been impressed. It's not necessarily a blessing, but it's a situation that CAN have some pretty interesting benefits...eventually.

If it makes sense, I appreciate your criticism more than your compliments. (I'll take those too tho

) What you described as far as the humorous advice concept is what I'm aiming for...the book has 5 sections (Shock, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance) that are all written somewhat differently, and I kinda tried to work all of them into the intro to give a reader an idea...um...what to expect. I do see what you're talking about with the back and forth, like you said though, it's a first draft so I'm just glad it's something people can read.

Thanks for reading my %+%+ and taking the time to give some good insight, for real.

Originally Posted by Brolic Scholar

I got two of them fam...

Ex-wife got me when I was on my way out the first time... and then agin. Love them, but damn, do I feel that.

Gets like that sometimes. Don't get me wrong, the little guy is growing on me almost as fast as he's growing on himself and I can see myself maybe enjoying it one day, but this idea that I'm supposed to just adore this total stranger who is moving into my crib and can't take care of himself right after I hear he's coming has always been ridiculous to me. I lucked out and got stuck with a very decent chick (and a very cute baby), but still...like, come on. That's a lot to dump on a guy.

 

[potus2028]

Originally Posted by fresh2deff

I dont read much but I would deff sit down to read your book.

That's what I like to hear.

Hope you'll check it out when the time comes.

Originally Posted by ebozek9

I really enjoyed what I read man through that link. I wouldn't mind actually buying the book when it comes out. Interesting writing style and it didn't feel like I was reading some bullcrap, your true personality shined through and it was interesting.

Thanks bro..."it didn't feel like I was reading some bullcrap" might go on the book jacket.

Glad you felt that.

 

[johnnyredstorm]

I still have to read your other book

If you need someone to proofread/help you edit, feel free to hit me up.

 

[potus2028]

Originally Posted by JohnnyRedStorm

I still have to read your other book

If you need someone to proofread/help you edit, feel free to hit me up.

I'm taking you up on that...that is by far my least favorite part. Hope you eventually like "FfYL" tho

 

[ill legal operation]

^ That image is perfect...

 

[potus2028]

Originally Posted by ILL LEGAL OPERATION

^ That image is perfect...

2 minutes in Paint can do that for you

BM (who the drawing is based on minus the crossed eyes) is even okay with it...I think I'm seriously gonna go with something like that. You just convinced me a little more.

 

[ill legal operation]

Originally Posted by potus2028

You won’t find me in any baby shower pictures. We did not go to a portrait studio to have me pictured kissing her bare stomach. Pregnant women never glowed to me…well kinda, it was a neon sign saying “I’m too fertile to @!#% around with

 

[cap1229]

Damn. Good thing its not a girl you had.

this would sting my heart if i ever read that my dad felt this way about me when it wasnt my choice to be here in the first place.

 

[classy freshman]

Good stuff. When do you get the time to write?Man this 9-5 be frying my brain. I am currently writing an older mans autobiography and it is taking longer because I am so burnt out after work

 

[potus2028]

Originally Posted by ILL LEGAL OPERATION

Originally Posted by potus2028

You won’t find me in any baby shower pictures. We did not go to a portrait studio to have me pictured kissing her bare stomach. Pregnant women never glowed to me…well kinda, it was a neon sign saying “I’m too fertile to @!#% around with

 

[ill legal operation]

Originally Posted by cap1229

Damn. Good thing its not a girl you had.

this would sting my heart if i ever read that my dad felt this way about me when it wasnt my choice to be here in the first place.

This...
...I've never been in OP's shoes so I can't judge the guy (and I imagine I'd feel the same way as him which is why it's a great angle for a book), but I don't think I'd put something in my print that my little rugrat could see when they got older.