Warning: Spoiler! (Click to show)
Free agency begins tonight at 9 p.m. PST and the Houston Rockets will be the first of five teams to meet with Dwight Howard in Los Angeles.
All five teams will persuade Howard to leave Los Angeles to be their number one option and how the championship aspirations will follow upon his arrival. However, Dallas is taking this one step further — a restaurant is prepared to offer Howard a lifetime supply of chicken fingers if he signs with the Mavericks (h/t SportsDay DFW):
As the wooing of Dwight Howard officially begins, Dallas-Fort Worth-area Raising Cane’s restaurants are offering free-agent center Howard food for thought – for the rest of his life.
On Monday, Raising Cane’s will kick off a campaign inviting Mavericks fans to help persuade Howard to sign with Dallas. The company has leased six electronic billboards to help publicize its cooked-up offer to Howard.
Raising Cane’s marketing manager Adam Reed says that if Howard signs with the Mavericks, “he will be welcome to come by any of our (20) local restaurants to enjoy seriously delicious chicken fingers at any time, on us, for the rest of his life.”
An absolute game changer. Not.
Interestingly enough, if Dwight Howard does decide to sign with the Mavericks and take advantage of this lifetime supply of chicken fingers, it would cost the restaurant between $192,628 and $530,621 worth of chicken. Also, the Dallas organization will likely not be fined for tampering as it appears food incentives do not go against the NBA’s Collective Bargaining Agreement.
There’s a 20 percent chance Howard will sign with the Dallas Chicken Fingers, but if I was Howard, why give up $30 million and a better opportunity to have championship rings on your fingers instead?
If chicken fingers are really a concern, there are plenty of restaurants here in Los Angeles that will gladly match Dallas’ offer.
#NeverForget Dwight should have went for the chicken fingers