would you let your significant other go to the movies alone with the opposite sex

zapatohead408 said:
MF Brown said:
zapatohead408 said:
What if your significant other wanted to try swinging?
Click to expand...

If both parties come to a mutual agreement that swinging is "okay" then there is no problem. Where it becomes convoluted is when him or her is not on the same page with their partner and they push, do, or ask of things that is atypical to what is "normal" to them. Western ideology teaches us that monogamy is the "right" way, and it may be, but there are quite a few places in the world that polygamy is practiced and accepted.
Click to expand...

So your chick tells you she wants to swing, what do you say?
Click to expand...

"Why?" and depending on what her explanation is, I most likely would cut her off. I'm past the point of dealing with all the potential baggage and drama something like swinging can bring forth. Just something I'm not into for many reasons.
 
superblyTRIFE said:
 And it isn't even necessarily about cheating--it's about respect.  You just don't put yourself in those situations that can look questionable (even though you know there is no evil intentions there) to outsiders out of respect for your s/o.  And now that I'm older and wiser, I can also say that you don't put yourself in those situations because even though you have no intentions of doing some foul ****, if given the right scenario it CAN happen. 
Click to expand...

Clap for 'em...

Edit: This really comes to down to values - you do what works for BOTH of you in your relationship; if your girl isn't feeling this situation, and you don't see a problem with it (and wouldn't have a problem if the shoe was on the other foot), you're probably not the people for each other. That's why people talk about "compatibility". She's already an ex-wife, it might be best to leave her as one.
 
Last edited:
How attractive the "friend" is the real question. If my (future) wife wants to go on a "date" with her long time friend, if hes an ugly short dude then fine, if dude was 6'2, brolic and drove an M6, then I minus whale prepare for the divorce and heartache.
 
My gf is still in college. I am not. I understand this is not an ideal situation. My gf went to dinner and then got drinks with her male friend from college she hadn't seen all summer. She has "hooked up" (didn't have sex) with him in the past. I called it a date. I was not ok with this. She said it wasn't a date and it was just dinner and drinks. He didn't pay for anything and she talked about me most of the time while he allegedly "jokingly" said I wasn't good enough for her, without ever meeting me.

She was telling me about it over the phone and I stopped her and said something along these lines, "I'm not going to tell you what you can and can't do with your guy friends. I don't want to be a controlling boyfriend. But, this sounded like a date to me and I can't lie I'm irritated because I know it was with someone that you've had feelings for in the past, and he's had feelings for you. It's really too soon in the relationship to tell if I can trust you or not, and I'd have no way of knowing if you cheated on me while you were at college unless you told me. So I'm asking you two things, 1) if you do cheat on me, have the courtesy to tell me, because the relationship will be over right there. I'm not wasting your time, so if you can't be in a committed relationship, please don't waste mine. 2) I'm not ok with you going on psuedo dates with other guys. But, I can't stop from you doing it, and if you're gonna do it I don't want to hear about it because it's upsetting."

She got the point and I'm very confident with us and we are building a lot of trust and meaning in the relationship which is still relatively new. I want things to work and maybe they will, but I'm no fool. I am honestly anticipating a "I cheated on you" call sometime this fall semester. I'd rather be prepared than be naive at this point. As much reassurance as she has given me. Her word doesn't really mean anything to me until she proves it a bit, which has yet to be seen. And that just may be karma from all the cheating I did when I was in college. Like DC said it's an unfavorable situation.
 
Hennessy said:
My gf is still in college. I am not. I understand this is not an ideal situation. My gf went to dinner and then got drinks with her male friend from college she hadn't seen all summer. She has "hooked up" (didn't have sex) with him in the past. I called it a date. I was not ok with this. She said it wasn't a date and it was just dinner and drinks. He didn't pay for anything and she talked about me most of the time while he allegedly "jokingly" said I wasn't good enough for her, without ever meeting me.

She was telling me about it over the phone and I stopped her and said something along these lines, "I'm not going to tell you what you can and can't do with your guy friends. I don't want to be a controlling boyfriend. But, this sounded like a date to me and I can't lie I'm irritated because I know it was with someone that you've had feelings for in the past, and he's had feelings for you. It's really too soon in the relationship to tell if I can trust you or not, and I'd have no way of knowing if you cheated on me while you were at college unless you told me. So I'm asking you two things, 1) if you do cheat on me, have the courtesy to tell me, because the relationship will be over right there. I'm not wasting your time, so if you can't be in a committed relationship, please don't waste mine. 2) I'm not ok with you going on psuedo dates with other guys. But, I can't stop from you doing it, and if you're gonna do it I don't want to hear about it because it's upsetting."

She got the point and I'm very confident with us and we are building a lot of trust and meaning in the relationship which is still relatively new. I want things to work and maybe they will, but I'm no fool. I am honestly anticipating a "I cheated on you" call sometime this fall semester. I'd rather be prepared than be naive at this point. As much reassurance as she has given me. Her word doesn't really mean anything to me until she proves it a bit, which has yet to be seen. And that just may be karma from all the cheating I did when I was in college. Like DC said it's an unfavorable situation.
Click to expand...

She's getting her back blown out as we speak.

LEAVE.























semi srs.
 
superblyTRIFE said:
I can also say that you don't put yourself in those situations because even though you have no intentions of doing some foul ****, if given the right scenario it CAN happen. 
Click to expand...

Trife always coming with that real......

My wife has 1 guy friend she was friends with before I met her, she mentions occasionally, who I've met, that I wouldn't feel some kind of way about if they went to the movies.
 
heLiumcLinton said:
Based Jesus said:
Offset POW CLOW said:
 
KingdomFlatbush said:
I suppose there are some strange people out there who see women as people and not as holes
Click to expand...


I see women as people too but im also a straight male that doesnt want to know about what her bf was doing to her last night etc
Click to expand...


Because there's absolutely nothing else you could possibly talk about :lol:
Click to expand...

Usually single dudes don't have real female friends. The dudes in long term relationships or married have more platonic friendships.
Click to expand...

As a sort of single dude, I have female friends going back as far as '98, and intimacy hasn't been on the table because:

- They would be in a relationship and I'm not
- I'd be in a relationship and they're not
- We'd both be in relationships at the same time
- We're unattractive to each other
- We live in different cities/states

Have I been in a position with any of them to get intimate? Yes, and a good amount. And once that happens, it's pretty much been buried in the back of our minds and either never discussed again, or passively referenced :lol:
 
heLiumcLinton said:
Here's my thing a person is going to do what they want so does it matter if you let them?

I'd let her if he's gay
laugh.gif
Click to expand...
this

but i would feel some type of way if she knows i dont like it but still goes anyway, and if the guy is known to have liked her before

**** changes all together if i was married, im extremely possessive, but i hide it very well because im not married, but when i do get married, i will probably beat my wife if she even WANTS to hang out with a guy who isn't related/gay, im not playin at all
 
Last edited:
paulprince3730 said:
heLiumcLinton said:
Here's my thing a person is going to do what they want so does it matter if you let them?


I'd let her if he's gay :lol:
Click to expand...
this

but i would feel some type of way if she knows i dont like it but still goes anyway, and if the guy is known to have liked her before

**** changes all together if i was married, im extremely possessive, but i hide it very well because im not married, but when i do get married, i will probably beat my wife if she even WANTS to hang out with a guy who isn't related/gay, im not playin at all
Click to expand...

I don't understand how you would even say something like this. No reason to beat her.
 
Cfranchise26 said:
Ok here is my situation me and my ex wife (married for 9 years together for 11 years) had a argument saying as a married man you can not and should not go to the movies with the opposite sex alone. Does not matter how long you been friends. so what your take on this, would you let your significant other go to the movies alone with the opposite sex
Click to expand...
What I don't understand is she is your EX wife. You also previously state that you're trying to get back with her which means you're not yet, so you're single man. Why are you even arguing with her about this? As a matter of fact I don't know why you told her you saw a movie with your female friend at all. 

For the sake of the discussion lets say your're in a position or some time of relationship with the ex where you tell her things like "I saw a movie with my friend ___".

You were married for 9 years. If she was your gbff for 20 years, then I would assume your ex met her and probably knows her well enough and knows you well enough that this shouldn't be a problem. However she did have a problem with it, so my next assumption would be that your ex doesn't like this friend of yours(probably because the friend is hotter
laugh.gif
). If all of this is true then OP you should have seen this argument coming from a mile away and just avoided the hole thing by not taking your friend to the movie if you are perusing your ex.
 
Like everyone said... I'm not going to say they can't go. I'm going to take note of the disrespect and start distancing myself. Not because I don't trust my chick... But because my chick is too naive and trusts that these dudes out here are just being friendly. If she will fall for that weak game, she is 3 strong drinks away from cheating on girls night out.
 
DLee23 said:
Like everyone said... I'm not going to say they can't go. I'm going to take note of the disrespect and start distancing myself. Not because I don't trust my chick... But because my chick is too naive and trusts that these dudes out here are just being friendly. If she will fall for that weak game, she is 3 strong drinks away from cheating on girls night out.
Click to expand...

Exactly. Can't tell my girl this though. Hot girls actually think guys JUST want to be friends with them and nothing more. I'm sorry but it don't work like that unless you're gay. No wonder so many dudes out here complaining about getting friend-zoned.
 
sckid20 said:
"Im gonna see the lego movie wit clarence"
"Aite bae have fun"


"Im goin to see fifty shades of grey wit tyrone"
"Naaaaaaaaaaaw................WE goin to see 50 shades of grey wit tyrone"
Click to expand...

Problem is, in either scenario, you lose. Her logic is the flaw here. Not the scenario/Clarence/Tyrone.
 
if you say no sometimes it doesn't matter because people will do what they want anyway, they'll just hide it next time.
 
Picasso Swerve said:
How attractive the "friend" is the real question. If my (future) wife wants to go on a "date" with her long time friend, if hes an ugly short dude then fine, if dude was 6'2, brolic and drove an M6, then I minus whale prepare for the divorce and heartache.
Click to expand...

Thing is this dude here is rare, and if he's available he's probably above that drama ****. Worse part is if she does step out, it's a regular *** dude, maybe worse than you.
 
Hennessy said:
DLee23 said:
Like everyone said... I'm not going to say they can't go. I'm going to take note of the disrespect and start distancing myself. Not because I don't trust my chick... But because my chick is too naive and trusts that these dudes out here are just being friendly. If she will fall for that weak game, she is 3 strong drinks away from cheating on girls night out.
Click to expand...

Exactly. Can't tell my girl this though. Hot girls actually think guys JUST want to be friends with them and nothing more. I'm sorry but it don't work like that unless you're gay. No wonder so many dudes out here complaining about getting friend-zoned.
Click to expand...

These same women are the ones that will come back to you with this goofy cheesy egg-on-the-face look like "I can't believe he tried to make a move on me :frown: :smh:". So...you can't believe that one of your guy best friends that you practically went on dates with tried to make a move on you?

jennifer-lawrence-10.gif
 
damn. what is all this LET stuff...? My wife doesn't let me do stuff and I don't let her do stuff...


Open communication, make your feelings known that you would not appreciate her doing this (ANY siftuation that you are not comfortable with, especially if you have trust issues with her or if she has given you a reason to have trust issues wiht her). Her reaction dictates your course of action. If she appreciates your feelings and doesn't do it, keep her. If she goes anyway, put your guard up.
 
Reading some of the stuff here and just Alonzo.gif through the pages
 
The reason to go with someone else is that maybe your s/o doesn't enjoy the same movies.


My wife hates sci-fi, so I go to the movies all the time by myself. (waiting on these Guardians!!!)

But she has a friend that is in the same situation in reverse with her husband, that he hates sci-fi. My wife suggested that she and I go to the movies so we can talk about them. And her friend is CUTE. Other end of the spectrum, I would have no problem with my wife and her friends husband "going out", because I trust both of them. And he is a good looking dude.


But she TRUSTS both of us that there is no reason to think or suspect that anything would be going on besides watching a movie.



(and a butter HJ through the bottom of the popcorn)

j/k about that last part
 
shaft said:
The reason to go with someone else is that maybe your s/o doesn't enjoy the same movies.


My wife hates sci-fi, so I go to the movies all the time by myself. (waiting on these Guardians!!!)

But she has a friend that is in the same situation in reverse with her husband, that he hates sci-fi. My wife suggested that she and I go to the movies so we can talk about them. And her friend is CUTE. Other end of the spectrum, I would have no problem with my wife and her friends husband "going out", because I trust both of them. And he is a good looking dude.


But she TRUSTS both of us that there is no reason to think or suspect that anything would be going on besides watching a movie.



(and a butter HJ through the bottom of the popcorn)

j/k about that last part
Click to expand...

This is all swell...







Until you both find out you have the same female sci-fi crush and she shows up to a movie date in a cosplay outfit and said she forgot to buy the tickets but has a hotel room nearby...

View media item 1102676
 
Last edited:
DMan14 said:
i know what ya mean, but for me it removes all the jealousy, lies, cheating, etc. nothing to hide
Click to expand...

Wait.

That's actually what a healthy committed relationship is supposed to do - remove all the jealousy, lies, cheating, not having anything to hide. Otherwise, what's the point?

But maybe that's just me.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

B
Black woman calls cops only to be killed by cops.
Replies
11
Views
2K
1995
1995
Mokorider
Relocation opportunities worth the shot or not? vol. share your experience(s)
2
Replies
47
Views
7K
datznasty
datznasty

The ultimate sneaker enthusiast community.

NikeTalk was created as a way of giving back to both the sneaker enthusiast community and to the greater global community of which we are all a part.

NikeTalk is NOT affiliated with Nike Inc. in any way, shape, or form. All opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect those of Nike, Inc.

© 1999-2024 NikeTalk.com

Share this page

Back
Top Bottom