would you let your significant other go to the movies alone with the opposite sex

[truth-serum]

 
this

but i would feel some type of way if she knows i dont like it but still goes anyway, and if the guy is known to have liked her before

**** changes all together if i was married, im extremely possessive, but i hide it very well because im not married, but when i do get married, i will probably beat my wife if she even WANTS to hang out with a guy who isn't related/gay, im not playin at all

 

[heliumclinton]

Nah she would have provoked him to do that

 

[plasmidlord]

It all comes down to trust. I have been with my girl for a few years now and I hang out with women when she's working or with her friends and I would let her hang with a dude if I was doing something. Neither of us have ever cheated so I'm not even worried about it.

Y'all saying "I don't see women as anything more than a hole" are really a joke.

 

[CJMcfly26]

It all comes down to trust. I have been with my girl for a few years now and I hang out with women when she's working or with her friends and I would let her hang with a dude if I was doing something. Neither of us have ever cheated so I'm not even worried about it.

Y'all saying "I don't see women as anything more than a hole" are really a joke.

nice to see i'm not the only one to think this way.

 

[legendairy stinson]

Isn't there some unwritten rule that dudes shouldn't take other dudes girls to the movies? Seems like disrespect to me.

 

[meek meals]

 

[Kaleo15]

I keep telling yall get a bisexual woman eliminates all these problems.

You don't need a bisexual girl to know how to satisfy you.

Just a girl that is down to do it.

 

[trunks206]

CJMcfly26 :

The "mature" thing would be not to go, because your ex is likely not cool with it. Certain things, once you're in a relationship, should be reserved for the boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife. I think movie dates are one of those things. Just the fact that you two are debating it shows that it shouldn't be a debate, feel me?

Also, truth is, a friendship DOES have to change once you're committed because there's such a thing as boundaries - that's what a commitment is, you're committing yourself to exclusivity in different parts of your life with your woman; that's not to say you can't be cool/friendly with shorty, but it just looks/feels bad if you're sitting up in a movie theater with another woman that's not your partner. If she's a TRUE friend, she'd understand that, and most likely be telling you that the "date" is probably not a good idea. Me personally, I don't believe that men/women can REALLY be friends - someone always has, or catches, feelings. And 20+ years with no "past" between this girl - seems doubtful/suss. Relationships like that are like unicorns.

But hey, if you don't think you're wrong, go for it, and if you're cool with the idea of your woman sitting up in a dark room with some potentially thirsty "friend", more power to you. I'm just saying, if you're trying to get wifey back, it's not about what you (alone) think or your standards as a single man, it's about what she's comfortable/uncomfortable with, and what works for the two of you as a unit; if you're trying to make that work, listen to her and try to understand.

It's what relationships are, bruh. Compromise and a willingness to change for the person you love. If it's that serious, go see the movie alone.

You might have to accept you don't really want her back bruh. You're fighting too hard for your right to spend time with someone else.

Naw, that wouldn't fly around this house.  I've learned better over the years.

As a young newlywed, I kicked it with a former female co-worker one time on the completely innocent tip.  Met up with her after work for a few drinks and just chopped it up about the fam, our old job and my new job.  Never looked at her as attractive and she was always seemed like one of the guys to me.  I honestly had no clue that I couldn't do **** like that anymore, so it didn't even cross my mind to discuss it with my wife prior to doing it.  And it probably didn't help that when we met up, my wife was at work for the night.  But maaaaaaaan, when I told her about it the next day......WOW.   :x

I still didn't see the issue with it at first, but as time went on and we got deeper into the marriage, I learned that you just can't do **** like that.  I had to put the shoe on the other foot and see that if the scenario was flipped, that I probably wouldn't be cool with it.  And it isn't even necessarily about cheating--it's about respect.  You just don't put yourself in those situations that can look questionable (even though you know there is no evil intentions there) to outsiders out of respect for your s/o.  And now that I'm older and wiser, I can also say that you don't put yourself in those situations because even though you have no intentions of doing some foul ****, if given the right scenario it CAN happen. 

 And it isn't even necessarily about cheating--it's about respect.  You just don't put yourself in those situations that can look questionable (even though you know there is no evil intentions there) to outsiders out of respect for your s/o.  And now that I'm older and wiser, I can also say that you don't put yourself in those situations because even though you have no intentions of doing some foul ****, if given the right scenario it CAN happen. 

Clap for 'em...

Edit: This really comes to down to values - you do what works for BOTH of you in your relationship; if your girl isn't feeling this situation, and you don't see a problem with it (and wouldn't have a problem if the shoe was on the other foot), you're probably not the people for each other. That's why people talk about "compatibility". She's already an ex-wife, it might be best to leave her as one.

Ok here is my situation me and my ex wife (married for 9 years together for 11 years) had a argument saying as a married man you can not and should not go to the movies with the opposite sex alone. Does not matter how long you been friends. so what your take on this, would you let your significant other go to the movies alone with the opposite sex

What I don't understand is she is your EX wife. You also previously state that you're trying to get back with her which means you're not yet, so you're single man. Why are you even arguing with her about this? As a matter of fact I don't know why you told her you saw a movie with your female friend at all. 

For the sake of the discussion lets say your're in a position or some time of relationship with the ex where you tell her things like "I saw a movie with my friend ___".
You were married for 9 years. If she was your gbff for 20 years, then I would assume your ex met her and probably knows her well enough and knows you well enough that this shouldn't be a problem. However she did have a problem with it, so my next assumption would be that your ex doesn't like this friend of yours(probably because the friend is hotter ). If all of this is true then OP you should have seen this argument coming from a mile away and just avoided the hole thing by not taking your friend to the movie if you are perusing your ex.

OP you know the answer to this question. You have an ex wife and you're trying to get back with her. If you want to get back with her and you know she has a problem with something, don't do it. It's not worth it. At the end of the day, ask yourself is it worth it. Is it worth going to see this movie with my friend if it makes my ex wife, who I want to get back with, uncomfortable? There's your answer my friend.

Thing as, after a certain age, you just don't have as many opposite sex friends that you chill solo with like that. When you're in HS and college it's all a big social scene and you become close with a few females and vice versa but often times at least one of the 2 people has intentions or at least feelings.

By the time you're married, and I mean you BEEN married you still have your friends that you've stayed cool with but it's more like they chill and come over when y'all have a party, etc... I don't think it's necessarily wrong but there's certain things you just stop doing at a certain point because you've made your spouse your first priority and you don't think in those terms.

Usually if someone is starting to chill with a friend of the opposite sex and it's not something they've done much before there's either some feelings being explored or they're testing the waters and trying to see your reaction.

OP your friend is beautiful. That's why your wife is not letting this fly. Plus if she's been your friend for 20+ years and is still around you might want to focus your efforts on her and not your EX wife

All of this. A handful of dudes get it, and the rest of the responses are from NTer who create girl problem threads.

OP you need to decide if you want you ex wife back or not. You dont seem to have the mentality of someone who wants commitment (with your ex, but maybe you possibly do with your friend)

You really need to ask yourself what you want. What you say you want and your actions/mentality are contradictory.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

One time, late at night, me and her were in her dorm alone having a super deep and personal conversation. Nothing romantic or w/e but **** was getting heavy. She was supposed to be up in her man's dorm already for the night but she figured this conversation we were having was more important and kept him waiting. This ***** called like 3 times and she was just like "Dude, nothing is going on. I'm doing something right now. I'll be up later"

See.

And dudes in here would say he man is immature/insecure and he SHOULD be fine with yall just chillin 1-on-1. I don't understand that logic AT ALL man.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

It all comes down to trust. I have been with my girl for a few years now and I hang out with women when she's working or with her friends and I would let her hang with a dude if I was doing something. Neither of us have ever cheated so I'm not even worried about it.

Y'all saying "I don't see women as anything more than a hole" are really a joke.

I don't even know what to say to this. But the whole, "It is about trust" card is bull to me.

Would you let your woman hang out with Brad Pitt if they were "friends" or nah?

 

[paulprince3730]

 

 

Here's my thing a person is going to do what they want so does it matter if you let them?


I'd let her if he's gay

this

but i would feel some type of way if she knows i dont like it but still goes anyway, and if the guy is known to have liked her before

**** changes all together if i was married, im extremely possessive, but i hide it very well because im not married, but when i do get married, i will probably beat my wife if she even WANTS to hang out with a guy who isn't related/gay, im not playin at all

I don't understand how you would even say something like this. No reason to beat her.

says the racist, now you want to try and make sense?

 

[plasmidlord]

I don't even know what to say to this. But the whole, "It is about trust" card is bull to me.

Would you let your woman hang out with Brad Pitt if they were "friends" or nah?

Yes, because whether it's Brad Pitt or the guy down the street if she wants to cheat she's gonna cheat regardless. And whether I allow her to hang out with other men or I don't she'll find a way to get in their bed if that's what she's trying to do.

 

[DPancakes]

Women gon women.

 

[heliumclinton]

Yall judging whether or not your girl can hang out with a man based on his looks? :x

 

[Brownstone]

I'd snap on her just for insulting my intelligence by asking me that question.

 

[frankmatthews]

See.

And dudes in here would say he man is immature/insecure and he SHOULD be fine with yall just chillin 1-on-1. I don't understand that logic AT ALL man.

When she came up I would have told her im doing something, come back later. And by later I would mean never.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Yes, because whether it's Brad Pitt or the guy down the street if she wants to cheat she's gonna cheat regardless. And whether I allow her to hang out with other men or I don't she'll find a way to get in their bed if that's what she's trying to do.

God yall are killing me with the, "If she wants to cheat she will cheat" comeback.

Of course if she wants to she will.

But that doesn't mean I should make the opportunity EASIER.

 

[mgrand15]

God yall are killing me with the, "If she wants to cheat she will cheat" comeback.

Of course if she wants to she will.

But that doesn't mean I should make the opportunity EASIER.

You must've had some bad luck with women dog.

My question is - do you really want to be with someone that you don't trust enough to watch a film with someone else? Do you really want to be with someone that forces you to think about how you can make it harder for her to cheat?

It's okay if you want to be controlling and all that. But why not find someone you actually trust? And find someone that trusts you enough to hang out with women? Because at the end of the day, if she wants to cheat, she will. If you want to cheat, you can. Unless you two are handcuffed or something. I just don't get it.

Cause at the end of the day, it takes two to cheat. If someone wants to be thirsty and play the friend role as a way to get in her pants, she has to agree to it. If not, he's in the friend zone while you smash at the end of the day.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

I do not see the POINT of someone going on a DATE with someone else when they are already in a relationship.

As a man, I am NOT cool with MY woman going on a date with another man.

If that makes me immature/insecure fine. I am insecure/immature.

I don't think it has ANYTHING to do with trust. That is my argument.

And again, if she wants to cheat she will. That is understood. But why does that mean I SHOULD be OK with her going on a date? There is no relationship there that yall keep trying to connect.

 

[mgrand15]

I do not see the POINT of someone going on a DATE with someone else when they are already in a relationship.

As a man, I am NOT cool with MY woman going on a date with another man.

If that makes me immature/insecure fine. I am insecure/immature.

I don't think it has ANYTHING to do with trust. That is my argument.

And again, if she wants to cheat she will. That is understood. But why does that mean I SHOULD be OK with her going on a date? There is no relationship there that yall keep trying to connect.

A date has romantic implications though. Seeing a movie does not. If you see a movie with your male friend, is it a date? If you see a movie with a family member, is it a date? It's only a date if it's called a DATE. There's a big difference. Do you not see it?

 

[fontaine]

God yall are killing me with the, "If she wants to cheat she will cheat" comeback.

Of course if she wants to she will.

But that doesn't mean I should make the opportunity EASIER.

that noncholant attitude is gonna bite a bunch of cats in the *** man.. Smh...

Take from a guy that deals with women on the regular .. And any guy will tell you...

Women appreciate boundaries set by a man and a good checking...

SRS...

 

[DCAllAfrican]

A date has romantic implications though. Seeing a movie does not. If you see a movie with your male friend, is it a date? If you see a movie with a family member, is it a date? It's only a date if it's called a DATE. There's a big difference. Do you not see it?

Boundaries need to be set.

A woman/man IN a relationship has no place going on a movie date (call it whatever you want) with another man/woman on a 1-on-1 affair.

But we are going in circles so we can just stop now.

 

[Sir San Diego]

Dudes in here really defending their girls going on dates with another man.

I refuse to believe that's anything besides bs internet persona/devil's advocate talk going on.

 

[mgrand15]

Personally, if I didn't trust someone enough to let them watch a 2 hour movie with someone, I'd just break up with them and be single. I don't have the time or energy to be with someone I have to put on a leash.

We're not talking about a date. We're talking about watching a movie together. We're talking about hanging out 2-3 hours at a reasonable time. I understand setting boundaries but I would never set the boundary as 1. no male friends or 2. no hanging out 1 on 1 with a male. Just like I wouldn't accept her saying I can't hang out with a female 1 on 1 or be friends with a female.

That's just me though. I'm not into the controlling and setting rules and all that jazz. If I'm not feeling it, I bounce.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Ok so question, at what point do you be like, "Nah that ain't flyin."

If your girl wanted to see an ex (3 years removed) and go to dinner with him, would that be fine?