black men as dead beat fathers

Carver said:
Wait..so let me get this straight.

She TOLD you she wanted to get pregnant? You were against it, but ****** her without any sort of protection whatsoever while knowing she was trying to get pregnant?

If that's the case you made that decision brah.. she didn't make no decision for both of you.
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No no no my brother, read it again. I was just ******* her and when she got pregnant, she was with getting an abortion for about a day or 2 until I let her out my sight...that's when her ppl got in her ear and she made the decision to have her whether I was with it or not. I was mad as hell at first but I got over it quick and was there every step of the pregnancy, been a great father to my seed but it's never enough because I don't want wanna be in a relationship with her....Bruh my daughter is gonna be 4 in January and she still on the same tip.
 
The 7th Mile said:
What if she made that decision for the both of you? My BM made the decision to have a kid all on her own, I was very much against it but her family got in her ear and she TOLD me what she was gonna do, not asked or care about how I felt. I made the choice to **** her but not to have her as the mother of my child. I do everything for my daughter but as long as I'm not with in a relationship with her, she try to call me every name in the book but if I even hint that I would consider getting back with her she will send me motivation quotes every morning with [emoji]128536[/emoji][emoji]128536[/emoji][emoji]128536[/emoji][emoji]128525[/emoji][emoji]128525[/emoji], be reasonable about me keeping her extra days and vice versa, and just not be a ***** overall. I'm not gone play a role just for her to be fair, I got a girl I been with for going on two yrs and her jealousy went into overdrive after that.

She just had another baby with some other dude she had been kicking it with for like 4 months, who she made the decision for as well, and when he straight up dipped on her she tried to run back to me to play step daddy...[emoji]128514[/emoji][emoji]128514[/emoji] ***** please...I know mine is a slightly different case but it's a lot of similar stories out there.
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I read this alllllll wrong
I thought your daughter wanted to get pregnant, and you ****** her raw knowing she wanted to be pregnant
I was about to say put this ***** under jail :rofl:
 
The blame can be placed on both parents. Either or, or both. Unfortunately, relationship dynamics aren't so simple, and things happen. For those who say a man should be in the childs life no matter what, do you not understand that some women purposely make it hard for the father to be in the childs life?
And those who say it's the womens fault, do you not understand that some men just don't care about the child?

My friends that I know aren't dead beat fathers and one has 4 kids. He actually took custody of 2 kids from the first mother and has 2 with his current.
The first mother was literally crazy. She fought him and his family. One time she was going off on him and almost dropped the baby :smh:
 
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The 7th Mile said:
No no no my brother, read it again. I was just ******* her and when she got pregnant, she was with getting an abortion for about a day or 2 until I let her out my sight...that's when her ppl got in her ear and she made the decision to have her whether I was with it or not. I was mad as hell at first but I got over it quick and was there every step of the pregnancy, been a great father to my seed but it's never enough because I don't want wanna be in a relationship with her....Bruh my daughter is gonna be 4 in January and she still on the same tip.
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You still made the decision of hitting it without protection dawg, let's not eem go into the whole abortion thing...I don't want to offend you, but that right there is something that makes my blood boil....

Is simple, you not with having kids with the woman you ***** use protection.
 
Dropten said:
The blame can be placed on both parents. Either or, or both. Unfortunately, relationship dynamics aren't so simple, and things happen. For those who say a man should be in the childs life no matter what, do you not understand that some women purposely make it hard for the father to be in the childs life?
And those who say it's the womens fault, do you not understand that some men just don't care about the child?

My friends that I know aren't dead beat fathers and one has 4 kids. He actually took custody of 2 kids from the first mother and has 2 with his current.
The first mother was literally crazy. She fought him and his family. One time she was going off on him and almost dropped the baby :smh:
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Bro, my bm has literally done everything to keep me from my son or break our bond. From telling him I'm not his dad, to straight up keeping him from me for MONTHS. Know what I did? Took her to court and fought that ****, had my child later that night.

Man, I done been thru hell and back with this woman for almost 7 years, but what do I look like giving up? That's what that is to me when dudes say "well, she keeps my kid from me." Some of those dudes don't try hard enough, really.
 
There is no real ONE reason, but man, this is what happens when dudes **** anything with a hole.
 
Mayor of NYC said:
This fontaine kid is annoying
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what the---where you been?  
laugh.gif
 
Saddest thing in the world is seeing some dude with the most depressed look in his face pushing a stroller with the most disgusting looking baby mama right next to him walking around the mall :lol:
 
As a kid who grew up without his father...**** em. He cool, but I turned out just fine without him, and plenty of other people do also.

We get mad about fathers leaving because we are supposed to. But, look at the results. If you can't step up as a father, get the **** outta the way and let someone who wants to do it, do it. Dudes need to stop throwing pitty parties about what they didn't have, stop making excuses. Put on your big boy pants and keep it moving. I had one dad who chose alcohol over his family, then another dad who left moms dukes when she was at war, ***** lived two hours away for the two years mom was gone and I was staying with my alcoholic uncle, my 21 year old brother and a family friend, I only saw that ****** when I made the drive...so dudes in my life ain't been ****. I still turned out just fine. I refuse to let society tell me how hard my life was, how bad I had it. I refuse to let society make me feel bad for myself. Nope, didn't have a pops in my life, and when I got one he wasn't bout ****....I'm a fighter, something society don't understand.




Mayor sighting!
 
As a black man especially, something that I've always kept in the back of my mind is when I have a child I will be in their life 101% growing up my parents were together until about the age of 7. My parents got divorced and I didn't feel the impact immediately because both my parents were very financially stable and having a birthday party at mom's house and dad's house seemed like I was winning. As I got older into my late teens and early 20's there are things that I wish my father was around for. Nothing financially but more so advice. I find myself upset at him for only feeling like he needed to be there financially when I see how bitter my mom has become toward men because of him. She's never moved on from him and as the years pass she's invested everything into me and my younger brother who was 2 when my parents got divorced so he doesn't even remember what living in a 2 parent household is like. He's only a phone call away but sometimes it's like talking to a stranger because there's been so many things that's happened in my life that he hasn't been around for. It's made me appreciate my mom so much more for taking on the role of 2 parents for me emotionally and has motivated me to want to be a great father to my kids one day.
 
Distance kept my father from being active in my life. He still helped out whenever he could.

I'm a father. The joy I get from hearing my children say "I love you daddy" is the best feeling in the world. I couldn't imagine not being a part of their lives.

I think past generations influenced the way the black fathers of today act. I know it definitely shaped my view on parenting.

I don't understand how a guy could not be a parent to a child he helped conceive. Yeah, that baby mama drama is annoying, but that child has nothing to do with the mother.
 
Maybe I wasn't too clear about the start of the thread, although discussion is appreciated.

I think TODAY... Black males are in their children's lives at a MUCH higher rate than the generation prior.
 
The 7th Mile said:
Carver said:
Wait..so let me get this straight.

She TOLD you she wanted to get pregnant? You were against it, but ****** her without any sort of protection whatsoever while knowing she was trying to get pregnant?

If that's the case you made that decision brah.. she didn't make no decision for both of you.
Click to expand...

No no no my brother, read it again. I was just ******* her and when she got pregnant, she was with getting an abortion for about a day or 2 until I let her out my sight...that's when her ppl got in her ear and she made the decision to have her whether I was with it or not. I was mad as hell at first but I got over it quick and was there every step of the pregnancy, been a great father to my seed but it's never enough because I don't want wanna be in a relationship with her....Bruh my daughter is gonna be 4 in January and she still on the same tip.
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The thread title is kinda inflammatory. .....In needs to ask a question not make a statement
 
Race isn't a choice. Being a father is.
And being there physically don't qualify either. Spending quality time answering dumb questions, showing affection, admitting your wrong, throwing the FB....etc is what I'm hollering.
All behavior is purposeful. If a woman keeps your child from u, she definitely wants something in return. We've got to learn to compromise and follow through with intentions on putting kiddo first. If all else fail, ball til you fall and hire a badass lawyer..
 
Love my pops but it hurts me to know i got a lil sis out there that i never met & she doesnt know who her father is, i dont know the circumstances(BM probably keeping her from seeing him) but i lost some respect for my pops knowing that, no excuse to not be in your childs life
 
djaward said:
Here you go
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couldnt hear it, but i seen it.

That's very believable.

OUt of my 6 closest friends with kids, 1 is married. The rest are not.

being an unwed mother =/= the dad isn't in the life.

that just means they're not married.

again, i'm just going of anectodotal evidence.. but i'm sure i'm not the only one who knows a lot of cats who have kids w/ chicks, are totally in the kids lives, but not married to the mother.

Times have changed. you dont have to marry the first girl you knock up like dudes were doing in the 70s and 80s
 
All my friends who have kids have stepped up. I tell them all the time that I'm really proud of them. It's thankless work. 90% of them didn't have a father growing up.
 
Fontaine said:
bruhs...

i know 20 dudes w/ kids. all my friends. from all different walks of life.

hustlas, d boys, corporate cats, blue collar, white collar, etc...

not ONE of them is a deadbeat father.

like... i'm starting to think this is just a product cats ditching their kids in the 70s and 80s, or some made up stats.

dont get me wrong... i know there are some bumbs... of all races.

but i feel like it's extra on the brothas...


maybe because it was true in the past, and this generation is making an effort not to be like their parents.

black men have a bad rep from the 70s and 80s... but like American cars, they stigma that they're unreliable continues to stick eem though the proof is in da pudding, b.

shouts out to all my fathers of all races, btw... cant wait till i have a little young'n so i can call him/her in the room to change the channel.

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I hate that ish but I probably will end up doing it too.
 
I tell me son to turn off lights and pass me beers when im too lazy :lol:
Now I have him doing the dishes. But that's part of his chores to I bless him with $5 :smoking

Im not gonna lie. Having a lil servant around makes things :smoking. Especially when they mad hype to do it too :lol:
 
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