Thirsty NY Street Cats vol. Is it cause I'm ugly?!

Calypso Chanta said:
 
DON RAMON said:
 
i don't see any instance where this "chick" is 'feeling herself a bit much"

she didn't do anything to give off that vibe. she didn't give anyone the feeling that it was ok to approach or harass her
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Historically and socially speaking, hasn't it always been the guy goes and speaks to the female most times?

Trying to initiate a conversation with a stranger that you find attractive on a respective level usually always starts with simple manners, "hello, how are you?" From the female a simple, "no not interested" or "I'm well" and keep it moving is really all it takes. It's simple etiquette. Misinterpreting non-invasive greetings for harassment isn't going to get this cause any positive attention. Especially since remaining silent is a rude response to a respectful greeting.  

Are there inappropriate advances in the video? Yes.

Is this video the best way to showcase this? No.

Additionally, your not going to find support on this issue when someone essentially has a problem with being told that they look nice too much.  Comparatively you have the digital age of ego self masturbation where people do so much to receive a 'like' on a multitude of different social media platforms and don't know how to handle the pseudo-celeb attention that comes with that in real life.  

Is this an issue for women? Yes, but with a caveat of women having to accept that social norm of when a man finds a woman attractive, most times he's is going to speak. The line of whether the words spoken are subjectively appropriate or not is too slippery of a slope to get a universal standard behind.
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This has come up on twitter a bunch and I've said pretty much the same as you. Well said. I feel as though there's a lot of dancing around truths. Let's understand a few things:

1) Street harassment is a real and problematic issue that many women face regularly. I don't think any woman deserves to have to deal with someone they don't want to...

2) We as men, for the most part, have no clue what women want to deal with us and what women do not. The status quo is, has been, and will likely continue to be that for there to be any sort of courting interaction btwn genders a man not only should but MUST initiate. I'm not going to drum up any artificial statistics but I would posit that women will make a first move of some sort less than 5% of the time, irregardless of the forum. Whether it be in public, private, appropriate or inappropriate. The burden, and yes it is a burden, lies with men. If a man lives his life without ever taking a chance and opening his mouth he's most likely going to live one hell of a lonely life.

3) From the time we're young men being the initiators is perpetuated by men AND women. Think back to your very first interactions with the opposite sex. Maybe in Kindergarten where you mustered up the courage to give a Valentine's day candy to the cute girl who sits across from you. We are literally bred to be the aggressors from day one. Women know this. They expect it. They play on it. Often. Go to any bar anywhere and you will find women who are waiting to be approached. Where can I go to wait to be approached other than the strip club?

4) The hardest truth to accept is that you have to take the good with the bad. As long as the onus is on men to approach, there will be the ******** who can't take no for an answer. You can extricate them from the whole, thus having your cake and eating it too. Good guys will approach. Bad guys will approach. That's life. I think we all have to do as much as we can to try to keep the bad apples from being abusive and creating hostile situations, but for that to happen we have to be open and honest and dialogue. Using a broad brush to paint all unwanted interactions as street harassment isn't being open or honest. It's being accusatory and reactionary. You can clearly see in this video multiple instances of interactions that are hardly harassment. And I know quite a few women who do appreciate when a man approaches respectfully. The women who don't want to be approached at all do not speak for all women.

There's more I have to say on the topic but I don't want to spend too much time slacking at work. But think about this, if there were even a 25% chance that an attractive woman walking down the street, or anywhere in fact, would stop you as a man and try to talk to you, would you be less likely to be cat calling every attractive woman you see? I think so. We all know its a slim chance of success when we holla. But we also know that it's next to none if we don't. Therein lies the problem. So unless we intend to curtail ALL social interaction between men and women in public (which despite their rhetoric, women do not want), this is the reality we have to deal with. Sucks for women, but it is what it is.
 
Cedric Ceballos said:
 
DON RAMON said:
but you're the same person who's tried to deny instances of racism several times over by reducing it to people crying wolf & other similar cliches

get outta here kid
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What does that have to do with what I said here? That's a pretty bold claim to make of someone though. But hey if your going to get bold like that, why not provide a post to back up what your saying.

Your entire act on here is lame though. The Internet gives people like you a place to talk out of pocket though I guess.
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lol. look at you. still emotional. after all this time

no difference in what i write inside this box as the who i am outside it. 
 
heLiumcLinton said:
Man I can go on Twitter right now and screenshot so many women saying "when I say thank you they think that's a invitation to start a convo" "when I say no thank you, they call me names and disrespect me"
We'll just agree to disagree because I don't think wearing clothes that fit you, should mean you expect sexualized comments
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 if a big american eagle is planted smack dab in the middle of a chicks rear end.. It's for her to see when she's in the mirror right? Not the people behind her? 

If anyone happens to catch it on a glance they better use their frontal cortex at full blast to reason their way past every single primal urge that has been manifesting itself for thousands of years to encourage humans to procreate and preserve the species and not comment.

I'm sorry. not everyone has that much self control. If you pass thousands of people on the street and you don't think there is a probability that someone will comment on you, just stay in a bubble outside of civilization. It's a social world. If this was prehistoric times, not communicating with people would get you killed. It's in our nature to communicate our impulses.. for better or worse.
heLiumcLinton said:
How many of yall met your woman from hollering at her on the street like a cat?
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twice. when they did the hollerin'

but I guess it's ok for women to do it because they can't rape me?
 
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DON RAMON said:
lol. look at you. still emotional. after all this time

no difference in what i write inside this box as the who i am outside it. 
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Emotional, how so?

Because I think your act is lame, you run off at the mouth and talk slick when expressing your usually flawed arguments and when someone refutes you you take your ball and go home. Don't think calling that for what it is is emtional.

If that's how you act in real life, I feel for you or your must select and choose who you talk slick to.

You made a pretty bold accusation about be denying racism though with nothing to back that claim. Whatever floats your boat though.
 
DON RAMON said:
 
well that's a problem if that's the only instance of harassment you saw 
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who said it wasnt

and how come you didnt address the rest of my

post could that situation be handled by simply saying your not interested 

did i not say dude could be thinking she is playing hard to get

as if some women dont pride themselves for that 

where is the line between that drawn if she never drew it 
 
Srs question.

Approaching a woman while your out and about in a respectful manner, but being able to take a L respectfully if shes not interested = harassment.

And no, revealing clothes don't give a man the green light to view her as an object.

What defines "thirst" also because some females use that word way to loosely.
 
southernhospita said:
 
DON RAMON said:
 
well that's a problem if that's the only instance of harassment you saw 
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who said it wasnt

and how come you didnt address the rest of my

post could that situation be handled by simply saying your not interested 

did i not say dude could be thinking she is playing hard to get

as if some women dont pride themselves for that 

where is the line between that drawn if she never drew it 
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we're going in circles now

you said the only harassment you saw was the dude walking alongside her for like 5 mins. it wasn't the only harassment going on in the video

women have a right to their space.

women have a right to walk down the street without feeling unsafe, accosted or compromised just because some stranger sees her as a sexual object and makes it a point to let her know.

a woman telling some stranger she's not interested potentially opens up the situation to other things and they're not usually good things

whether or not a woman is playing hard to get is not for some stranger to assume. it should be hands off all the time and that includes keeping your mouth shut at all times no matter how compelled you feel to let her know that she should smile, got a nice butt or that you wanna **** her.

it's really pretty easy
 
DON RAMON said:
 
we're going in circles now

you said the only harassment you saw was the dude walking alongside her for like 5 mins. it wasn't the only harassment going on in the video

women have a right to their space.

women have a right to walk down the street without feeling unsafe, accosted or compromised just because some stranger sees her as a sexual object and makes it a point to let her know.

a woman telling some stranger she's not interested potentially opens up the situation to other things and they're not usually good things

whether or not a woman is playing hard to get is not for some stranger to assume. it should be hands off all the time and that includes keeping your mouth shut at all times no matter how compelled you feel to let her know that she should smile, got a nice butt or that you wanna **** her.

it's really pretty easy
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that true but those men also have the right to say what they want

so calling someone beautiful or attractive or even having a reaction to you appearance 

is something she will have to deal with point blank period 

as long as it doesnt cross that line as you explained 

women should fell safe but I  dont see how saying hello makes anyone fell unsafe 

the only time i see her as being unsafe is from the other two dudes

and that waht we both can agree on 

and for the record none of those dudes touched her 

and another thing as far as donating money

that wont help **** with people admiring a female on the street 

that just stupid
 
southernhospita said:
women should fell safe but I  dont see how saying hello makes anyone fell unsafe 
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For every man that just wants to say hello there's a man who wants to use a hello as an opening to harass so they feel like to avoid the whole possibility, to ignore it completely.
 
Y'all still arguing nothing. If hello is now sexual preditor status we're all doomed.


Point blank it's stuck up for a girl to even assume that. That's them thinking they look so good men ask for sex on the street.


#noma'am
 
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heLiumcLinton said:
For every man that just wants to say hello there's a man who wants to use a hello as an opening to harass so they feel like to avoid the whole possibility, to ignore it completely.
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but where does that get you with this whole 

playing hard to get with the opposite sex in our society 

truly no means no but

it seems like damn if you do damn if you dont so 

might as well make that clear 

but the video mostly shows people saying hello have a nice day ect  truly harmless 
 
BLASTERCOMBO said:
Y'all still arguing nothing. If hello is now sexual preditor status we're all doomed.


Point blank it's stuck up for a girl to even assume that. That's then thinking they look so good men ask for sex on the street.


#noma'am
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next time someone says hello 

im screaming rape off top 
 
I think we should account for the setting this takes place as well, if this was in a bar which is meant to be a social setting I believe the response would be different. Walking on the street to your destination is not a social setting, IMO.
 
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