Lack of Ambition

flyprime

flyprime

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Jan 16, 2013
Does anyone feel they lack ambition? Lately my gf been yelling at me because she feels I'm not very ambitious and I'm starting to believe it. I'm 28 and only making like 18.00 an hour, I have a business degree but It's hard getting a 60K a year job .. I own a car but still live at home..my sneaker
game crazy though lol .. Anyway it's very depressing. Do I just need to man up?.. Also My gf is very successful with multiple degrees a Masters and a cool job in the government..
 
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I always wondered if drive is a "God-given" trait or is it something that can be developed. I guess everything can be developed but drive and work-ethic seems to be something that folks either have or don't. Have you always been this way? And how is your girl doing professionally?
 
Yeah I've always just been pretty go with the flow kinda guy and as for my gf she's very successful, 2 masters, great job in the govt and both her parents are doctors.. I feel that's why she's like that towards me..
 
Since the end of tax season (last week) I've been in a mental dump...I just want a day off to myself where I don't do anything but sleep
 
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The thing is that chick isn't going to stay with you, if you stay the same. Remember its not what you do, it's how you do it. Living at home with your parents, same job blah blah all of those are factors. But your lack of passion is probably what is making those around you wonder. I barely gradated high school, I fail a lot. But I always try and stay moving and try new endeavors. I've never been "successful" however, you have to ask yourself if your fulfilled or happy. **** what everyone else says. Don't stop evolving and positivity always conquers negativity. I'm giving you after school special ****. But as I've gotten older I've realized its true.Peace...
 
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Gentrification said:
The thing is that chick isn't going to stay with you, if you stay the same.
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Word, she dropping hints. That's an innate female trait since the cave days. "Why can't you kill that big lion with that stick," they'd say.

Throughout the ages that's been female language for "if you don't improve my quality of life, I'm gonna leave you for a dude who can."
 
its one thing to have a woman that keeps you on your toes its another to have one who only wants you to be "successful" for what you can do for her. 

she should want to see you do better for the sake of you being a better person because she cares about you and not because shes dissatisfied with what you produce for her financially. 

if the latter is the case, once you do reach that level of success that is sufficient to her liking you probably wont want her anymore. 
 
flyprime said:
Does anyone feel they lack ambition? Lately my gf been yelling at me because she feels I'm not very ambitious and I'm starting to believe it. I'm 28 and only making like 18.00 an hour, I have a business degree but It's hard getting a 60K a year job .. I own a car but still live at home..my sneaker
game crazy though lol .. Anyway it's very depressing. Do I just need to man up?.. Also My gf is very successful with multiple degrees a Masters and a cool job in the government..
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Be hungry.

Nothing wrong with living at home temporarily, it saves money.

Nothing wrong with $18 a hour (I made way less first year out of med school) but it has to be a stepping stone not an end goal.

If you realize the lack of ambition in yourself then your girl definitely notices it and will drop you eventually
 
sometimes ambition doesn't kick in until you're at rock bottom. might need to have the ppl around you show you some tough love....I bet your ambition and drive would kick in if you were no longer able to live at home and gf broke up with you.
 
TeamJordan79 said:
Gentrification said:
The thing is that chick isn't going to stay with you, if you stay the same.
Click to expand...

Word, she dropping hints. That's an innate female trait since the cave days. "Why can't you kill that big lion with that stick," they'd say.

Throughout the ages that's been female language for "if you don't improve my quality of life, I'm gonna leave you for a dude who can."
Click to expand...

Lack of ambition is unattractive though. In many cases it's not just about money.

I know many professional women whose spouse makes less or will make less than them. But they still have good careers that aren't dead end jobs.

I've never even dated a chick who didn't have a great career or who wasn't on the path to one. Ambitious people are attracted to ambitious people. Doesn't sound like his chick is looking for a handout
 
As long as she's not belittling you, I much prefer a partner that's uplifting and challenges me. Proper daily motivation is beneficial and rare, IMO.

Another bit of advice: Don't focus on the dollars. Chase the vision, not the money. The money will end up following you.
 
flyprime said:
Does anyone feel they lack ambition? Lately my gf been yelling at me because she feels I'm not very ambitious and I'm starting to believe it. I'm 28 and only making like 18.00 an hour, I have a business degree but It's hard getting a 60K a year job .. I own a car but still live at home..my sneaker
game crazy though lol .. Anyway it's very depressing. Do I just need to man up?.. Also My gf is very successful with multiple degrees a Masters and a cool job in the government..
Click to expand...
Ambition is that inner drive... I lived at home for a year, but it was to save up to buy my own pad, lived frugally with the goal in mind.

Getting a 60k/year job is hard, but are you actively applying? Are you trying to get a new one by applying and networking? Gotta stay hungry.. complacency is the real curse, always want more for you and your fam..
 
First of all, fdb.

No but seriously, I just read a quote this morning that said something like "ambition and motivation is fleeting. Discepline is what takes you to the next level and what you can depend on."

If you have goals, dedicate an hour everyday towards them. Even if it's just reading or some kind of research. Just do something so the goal is fresh in your mind everyday. After a while, subconsciously you will be working towards your goal.

Lastly, strive to be better for only yourself.Your girl should be your cheerleader and believe in you even when you dont.
 
Having too much drive and ambition for the resources around you is harder. You feel like you're not doing what you need to do when in all actuality you are, you just can't get passed everyone else not seeing it.

Use your degree if you're not already OP. and stop buying the sneakers, they are depreciating assets. If you're still at home and not paying many bills, STACK YOUR CHIPS
 
Famb you have to make moves, she's going to leave you. Don't just think it to us, express it to her, show her. You're not there yet, but you're working toward it. Ambitious women won't put up with a slacker for too long, history wears off. Well, atleast until she's nearing 40.
 
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Two suggestions: 1: Move out of your parents house and live in your car until you can save enough $$ to afford an apartment or hotel room. If you living in your car doesn't inspire you to do better then you may just be a lazy spoiled momma and daddies boy. 2: Listen to this song b . If that song doesn't inspire you to put more ambition on yo name then you may need to seek other options. Good luck bro.
 
Once she meets/finds another dude that doing better for himself and doing better that you, she gonna leave you b. That just facts. Get off your ***!!
 
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I was lacking in my early 20s but now I've got a sick obsession. Recently got offered $40 per hr for a new job, but decided not to take it because of the 2 year contract, why would I lock myself in at 76k? Not gonna be satisfied until I break 250k, I like jumping around jobs and upgrading my position (IT Security/DevOps). I'm 27 but I want that Rarri by 32/33
 
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