engagement /marriage thread.

I learned the hard way , don’t get involved with broke women. I had to sell my great grandfathers Ford Falcon to bond out. And I was innocent. I realized I’m investing time, money and energy in a bird, who has no tangible skills to help me in a jam. If she can’t pay for it with her natural ATM I’m SOL. If I can’t marry up Im not marrying at all.
I was attracting nothing but birds until moved to DC from Houston in 2015. Quality of the women went up exponentially. Wife is the COO/CFO at her spot, I got a cushy fed gig. Life is wonderful.
 
I hope one day I get married. I just want someone that will love me unconditionally, embrace me, and just respect me. It seems like it’s more difficult to date In This day and age. I always sit back and see couples embrace one another from what he or she likes or don’t like. From my experiences, I tend to be the one embracing them, but I’m always the one that has to “change” or something in my personality needs to be altered for their “standards”. That stuff gets old.

Of course, I’m currently getting my life and finances in order before I even start dating again. It’s just something I’m reminiscing at this time. I know I need to get out more, but sometimes my PTSD just makes me feel like I’m not even wanted whatsoever outside, so I just stay home most of the time outside of going to work
 
going on yr 21 with my old lady. I’m a fool with it but she still holds me down and vice versa. Gotta love and invest in yourself and she’ll follow. Was close to divorce 2x but we always reconnect. love is crazy
Care to elaborate or the 2x?
 
separation. Break from each other. Got into relationships while apart and still ended up back together.
To me loyalty is having a friendship and not wanting ill harm on your s/o. Even though i dislike her sometimes, I still want her to be safe and warm
Broke up with my now wife was then baby mom's. **** happens and we both needed to grow. When we got it back popping I knew she was the one and I got the ring asap.
 
My frat brother, who ended up being my groomsman, made my tux. We’ve known each other since high school and lived together so it was a pretty dope experience! Anyway wanted to share here.. I’m curious what y’all process was like.. I was stressed lmao but it was great working w my friend.

 
My frat brother, who ended up being my groomsman, made my tux. We’ve known each other since high school and lived together so it was a pretty dope experience! Anyway wanted to share here.. I’m curious what y’all process was like.. I was stressed lmao but it was great working w my friend.



Oh ****, whats good, Nupe?! Always dope seeing other Nupes on NT. :nthat:

Anyways, my tux process was simple. I got mine from a dope local Bespoke Tailor spot in the area about 9 months before the wedding. Went in for touch ups every couple months leading up to the wedding day. Ended up losing some weight a month before the wedding due to stress so the touch-ups were needed. :lol:
 
What's shaking Nupe! There's a few of us.. sometimes I forget because it's NT lol but sneakaprince sneakaprince is and I think saunupe1911 saunupe1911 too but we've literally never talked about it (I think he just never knew :lol:).

Mine was not simple.. because I'm wild particular and detailed as you somewhat get from my reel lol.. I drove my bro crazy :lol: but that's how I am with kicks so go figure. I went in super early and my bro said I was speeding because most actually put on weight which I did so for me it was the same but the reverse lol. adobecs4 adobecs4 that's a decent window depending on who you work with but this is the time to lock it in. As the post above.. you will likely need a few visits.
 
curious about the opinions of NTers 35+, especially those who got married later in life

imo:
  1. guys don't have a clock like girls do
  2. you can argue that with age/time, guys (can) get more attractive to girls. as in, guys make more money later in life, smarter/wise with age, better physique, etc.

with that said, i had talks with guys in the past that you should put off marriage as long as you can but just had talks to other guys 40+ that despite aging well, their dating options dwindle after around 40. is this true?


feel free to share your experiences or people who you know experiences
 
jape jape Is her spending in general an issue for you or just the WHole Foods runs?

How does she react when you bring it up?

I come in Peace.
my wife goes there for food for our daughter specifically for expensive *** milk and it pains me.
she’ll also get chicken nuggets and such and i’m like how organic can chicken nuggets in a bag actually be?
 
jape jape Is her spending in general an issue for you or just the WHole Foods runs?

How does she react when you bring it up?

I come in Peace.
it hasn’t been a huge issue for me especially cause she makes good money and we have separate bank accounts. but we are having a 2nd kid on the way and she wants to completely combine our accounts (we have a joint account for the mortgage and bills we split) .
i told her if we do that she probably won’t like it cause i’m going to scrutinize everything she buys so i’m not trying to go that route. i want her to be able to spend freely as long as she takes care of her reaposbsibilities.

the whole foods thing is minor cause i can’t really be that mad my wife wants the “best” food for our daughter. i tell her if she wants me to buy food for her i’m never going to whole foods, so she’s been taking care of most of the groceries for the kid.

on a side note…
i can’t imagine having a wife that doesn’t work or make her own money. i would hate that dynamic. it would feel like i was controlling.
don’t know how some of y’all do it.
 
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it hasn’t been a huge issue for me especially cause she makes good money and we have separate bank accounts. but we are having a 2nd kid on the way and she wants to completely combine our accounts (we have a joint account for the mortgage and bills we split) .
i told her if we do that she probably won’t like it cause i’m going to scrutinize everything she buys so i’m not trying to go that route. i want her to be able to spend freely as long as she takes care of her reaposbsibilities.

the whole foods thing is minor cause i can’t really be that mad my wife wants the “best” food for our daughter. i tell her if she wants me to buy food for her i’m never going to whole foods, so she’s been taking care of most of the groceries for the kid.

on a side note…
i can’t imagine having a wife that doesn’t work or make her own money. i would hate that dynamic. it would feel like i was controlling.
don’t know how some of y’all do it.


My wife and I began doing the joint account thing in September of last year. We each get about 300 bucks every two weeks that we can blow on whatever, the rest of the money goes right into the joint account. Any money we make outside of our primary jobs is also ours to keep.

In my opinion the joint account keeps us honest and focused our the major goals we have for our family. I make considerably more than my wife but it's nice for her to feel like she is still contributing equally to the house and to our future goals.

I've been a home owner for a long time and a lot of the maintenance and repairs always fell on me despite us both living there etc. My wife was also very naive to the cost of certain things and she used to feel like I would drag my feet on getting some things around the house (nothing major), the joint accounts allows for transparency and discussion around how we can better resolve issues and what the financial implications of those decisions may be.
 
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We finally did it 2 weeks ago.

My tuxedo pants literally weren't ready until the night before :lol:

If you have anxiety and hate being the center of attention like me, just focus on your beautiful bride's eyes and tune everything else out. Probably the best night of my life.

Good luck bro!
Appreciate that fam. Yeah I'm over here thinking about the garter removal part like 🥴 I hate being the main focus lmao
 
Wife and I going through a rough patch. Found out we are pregnant. After I told her we are not ready for child and would bow out if she just had to have a child now. She said she messed up her birth control. Normally she would let me know and we would Do other stuff. This time felt malicious.

As much as I hate it do it, but we will have to terminate. I’ve looked at us as a couple and our finances? Both are fine, but we have much more growing to do if we want a child. I think she wants a child because she her friends on facebook with kids and believes she deserves one as well and he Dr. has said she has 2 child bearing years left at 36.
 
Y’all are doing that? I haven’t seen in once in the 30 or so weddings I’ve been to 😂😂
My wife insisted I do it.

I said **** it if imma do it imma just make it mad cringe

Had the DJ play Mr Boombastic and ya boi went all out half laughing half :pimp:
 
Wife and I going through a rough patch. Found out we are pregnant. After I told her we are not ready for child and would bow out if she just had to have a child now. She said she messed up her birth control. Normally she would let me know and we would Do other stuff. This time felt malicious.

As much as I hate it do it, but we will have to terminate. I’ve looked at us as a couple and our finances? Both are fine, but we have much more growing to do if we want a child. I think she wants a child because she her friends on facebook with kids and believes she deserves one as well and he Dr. has said she has 2 child bearing years left at 36.
What growth do you need to achieve before you feel ready for children?

We plan to start trying later this year after our honeymoon. I’m 35 and wife will be 34 this year. There are some financial milestones I wish we’d reached before trying but whatever. Ideally we want 2 kids, maybe 3 so time is a factor. But praying for a happy and healthy 1 and we’ll go from there.
 
Good for you?

I didn't mean it in a mean way - just was told it was very old school

If you don't want to do it why don't you push back? It's your day too b

Edit - woah lmaooooo

"Back in olden times, newly-married couples were expected to consummate their union pretty much immediately after the wedding. And family members and friends would wait outside of their room to make sure that this happened,” explains Kim Forrest, Senior Editor, WeddingWire. “After the marriage was consummated, the groom would give the bride’s garter to the waiting crowd to prove that the deed was done.”
 
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