How soon is Too Soon to get engaged?

[nek32]

What's your thoughts on how long you should know each other or be together before you get engaged? A friend of mine just got engaged to her boyfriend of 3months. And it was someone she just met, not a long time friend or someone she knew through someone, 3 months and one day ago they were complete strangers andnow they are engaged. It was hard for me to be excited for her, because I honestly feel like she's making a big mistake. I guess to me that seems way tooquick to be engaged.

So for some of you older NT'ers or NT'ers who've been through this kind of stuff, how soon do you think is too soon?

 

[jbug88]

as far as being too soon, I guess it just depends on the people.
in my case, my wife and I dated for 9 months (after knowing each other about 6-7 months before that), and we got married 10 months later.
September will be 8 years married.
it could very well not work out and as long as no kids are involved, ultimately, no harm, no foul.

-J-

 

[doublejs07]

3 months? They hardly know each other....that is WAY too soon IMO. They are setting themselves up for disaster.

 

[ljlukelj]

I think you need AT LEAST a solid year

 

[dagreatj]

at least a year or two... you have to make sure all the research and background checks are done

 

[7th Chamber]

How long is too long to get engaged?

 

[nyk orange and blue]

Originally Posted by DaGreatJ

at least a year or two... you have to make sure all the research and background checks are done

that's kinda short

I'll give it 3 to 5 years....but it depends on the couple.....

 

[fanatic15]

I think it depends on the people involved, their age, their maturity etc. The younger you are, the longer you should probably wait. Remember she isn'tmarried yet, until she says "I do", she can still call it off, so I wouldn't be too concerned. Engagements can last years sometimes so just besupportive of her. She may have found the best person for her which would be what you want right? And if she hasn't, then she will figure that out and(hopefully) move on.

 

[rockin my xiii]

i look at it as more of a step than a time period
but given...the time period is somewhat lengthy
i mean...2 months into it you don't run off and get married

 

[kashino1]

at least 2 years living together in a commited relationship before geting engadged there are some exceptions..........i proposed last summer after dating mygirl for 4 years but still wont get married for atleast another few years im 27 by the way.....theres just no reason to rush huge life changing decisions

 

[newkidtadagame]

I would have to say that it totally depends on the people. Its been my experience that the first few months are the months working out the kinks...you know,when you start feeling comfortable enough to disagree, bring them around your fam and friends and such. While I obviously think that the latter months/years ofa relationship count immensely, those first months are VERY important to me...I think if you use that time wisely, your relationship is off to a good start,but maybe not ready for marriage...hope for the best for your friend, though.

 

[the821empire]

according to facebook and the engagement this High school senior that is 18 is engaged. Son is bout to go to college, lets see how "engaged" he stays

 

[dirtylicious]

doesn't matter the time frame...it's how well you get to know each other.

some people can go out for years and years...but not truly know who their mate is.

 

[mytsharp]

It took me 3 years before I proposed.

My-T.

 

[nycknicks105]

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

doesn't matter the time frame...it's how well you get to know each other.

some people can go out for years and years...but not truly know who their mate is.

yeap....it really depends how well they know eachother...but for the most part, if your seeing for just three months, thats not enough time to know someonewell.

 

[high class scum bag]

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

doesn't matter the time frame...it's how well you get to know each other.

some people can go out for years and years...but not truly know who their mate is.

 

[fanatic15]

Originally Posted by kashino1

at least 2 years living together in a commited relationship before geting engadged there are some exceptions..........i proposed last summer after dating my girl for 4 years but still wont get married for atleast another few years im 27 by the way.....theres just no reason to rush huge life changing decisions

I'd never live w/ someone before marrying them, let alone for 2 yrs.

 

[lazyj10]

Originally Posted by Fanatic15

Originally Posted by kashino1

at least 2 years living together in a commited relationship before geting engadged there are some exceptions..........i proposed last summer after dating my girl for 4 years but still wont get married for atleast another few years im 27 by the way.....theres just no reason to rush huge life changing decisions

I'd never live w/ someone before marrying them, let alone for 2 yrs.

Really? Why? Personally, I'd add the living together arrangement to the 'getting to know them' criteria.

 

[cowboyquang]

Originally Posted by LazyJ10

Originally Posted by Fanatic15

Originally Posted by kashino1

at least 2 years living together in a commited relationship before geting engadged there are some exceptions..........i proposed last summer after dating my girl for 4 years but still wont get married for atleast another few years im 27 by the way.....theres just no reason to rush huge life changing decisions

I'd never live w/ someone before marrying them, let alone for 2 yrs.

Really? Why? Personally, I'd add the living together arrangement to the 'getting to know them' criteria.

I agree with Lazy. That way, you can just move out if it doesn't work. Divorces can be expensive, even with pre-nups. My wife threatened to takeall of my left shoes if I ever cheated or tried to ruin the marriage.

 

[atmosquare]

i've spoken to a few people who only waited 2 days and another couple who waited a week from first meeting each other. Both have been married for over 50Years and in both cases they met thru either friends and family so it felt like they've known each other for much longer than you would think. That type oftime frame i can't knock at all. cheers to them!

 

[atmosquare]

gotta love the double post!

 

[eaglebball1499]

Damn, I think three months is waay to soon.

But then again, I may be on the opposite extreme. I just got engaged to my girl last Sunday, March 9th (

). However, we've been together almost 6 1/2 years (sincesenior year of high school). But we wanted to wait until we both were finishing school: she's in her second year of her career, and I'll be graduatingfrom law school next year.

 

[stringer bell 32]

Anything less than 3 years is foolish

 

[kdwallace]

You can't put a number on things like that.

My wife and I were engaged after about 3 months - and that was after we first met, we didn't know each other at all before that.

We will have been married 10 years this summer.

Not to say that's for everyone and like someone already said it's only engagement - there's no shame in calling that off or waiting a while to getmarried (although I also hate really long engagments) to make sure that is what you want to do.

Different for different people and circumstances though.

 

[coolnificent]

Didn't MLK propose on the 1st date?