Is it possible to break the "Nice Guy" attitude? (not just in relationships)

[nek32]

I'm not just referring to the "nice guy" in relationships, I mean in all aspects of life. A lot of people are way too nice, even though they don't want to be, and it causes a lot of problems when they can't brush things off that just need to be brushed off. I know friends that will literally sit and dwell for DAYS if someone says something to them or even raises their voice to them at work or something. One of my friends was sad for weeks cuz his ex girlfriend (who treated him like garbage) said something bad about him...and he hadn't even talked to her in 2 years.  Is it "once a nice guy, always a nice guy?" Or is it more like a lack of self-esteem more so than being too nice? If there's guys in their 30's and 40's with this kind of "welcome mat" personality, it makes me wonder do you grow out of it or are you just doomed to stay like that your whole life?

As far as myself, I guess I am the stereotypical "nice guy" in relationships and wish I wasn't. But in other parts of life, I'd like to think I'm not as bad in terms of being walked over or taken advantage of. I think I was worse in my younger days.

 

[mosthated770]

nice guys finish last..

true story

 

[rawse]

yes it's possible.. Just don't label yourself as the "nice guy"

 

[ghenges]

Ain't nothing wrong with being nice, bruh. There IS something wrong with being a push-over. Don't confuse the two.

 

[optimusprimeaphia]

Not really...unless if you do flip the script, you kinda need a new circle to be around...otherwise people might call you out and say you "changed" or something...or anything they might do that will subtly pull you back to what they knew you as...

But then again, if you are about change, you won't really care what people have to say.

 

[TheGodFresco]

Originally Posted by Ghenges

Ain't nothing wrong with being nice, bruh. There IS something wrong with being a push-over. Don't confuse the two.

this

 

[MPLS612]

Originally Posted by MOSTHATED770

nice guys finish last..

true story

 

[frank 7he t4nk]

Originally Posted by Ghenges

Ain't nothing wrong with being nice, bruh. There IS something wrong with being a push-over. Don't confuse the two.

qft.

 

[senatorjeffsmith]

Just watch a few Bogart movies and model your behavior after him.

Nobody put one over on Bogie

 

[f a y b a n]

I'm a "nice guy" but I do it to avoid friction, and it's just easier than engaging with rude and annoying people.  When you treat everyone in public the same, it makes socializing easier.  

 

[heartofthacity]

Son, you need to practice being an a-hole.

Go for a walk at a busy place and try:
Mean mugging people
Actually mugging people
not holding the door for people
etc.

Like today I was walking to the mall and some guy had pamphlets for something and was like "HOW ABOUT SOME POSITIVITY"
and I turned around and was like "MAN, #@@! POSITIVITY"

 

[aepps20]

Originally Posted by GSDOUBLEU

Originally Posted by Ghenges

Ain't nothing wrong with being nice, bruh. There IS something wrong with being a push-over. Don't confuse the two.

this

This

I'll take it one step further and say that if you are a nice guy people are more willing to do things for you and help you when you need it.

 

[higherground]

Everyone should be nice for the sake of society.

I prefer civility and will lend a hand if someone needs it.

 

[eight2one]

i had the breezies on lock when i was a full blown a-hole

 

[wanksta23]

I'm a very nice guy, with family, and with female friends/girlfriends..

but i ALWAYS have to break that

...I'll tease them or say something mean and be a jerk, but as long as THEY KNOW (which is pretty much all the time) im joking, everything is cool..its what works for me

 

[raptors29]

Originally Posted by eight2one

i had the breezies on lock when i was a full blown a-hole

/thread

 

[6 Rings G.O.A.T.]

Originally Posted by Ghenges

Ain't nothing wrong with being nice, bruh. There IS something wrong with being a push-over. Don't confuse the two.

 

[desoiation1]

Originally Posted by AME416

Originally Posted by MOSTHATED770

nice guys finish last..

true story

A wise man once told me, "As a man, you have to die once in order to live." I never fully appreciated his advice, nor did I understand it until I experienced it firsthand. From that time on, I understood the origins of the Jerk vs. Nice Guy battle.

Readers may be asking themselves, "What in the world is this guy talking about?" Well, I'm referring to the widely known fact that women habitually date men that are jerks while the "nice" guys are often left twiddling their thumbs in solitaire. Does this sound familiar to anyone?

Figuratively speaking, in order for a man to enjoy the company of women and be able to seduce them, his inner nice guy must first die through heartache. It is at this point that his inner bad boy surfaces and goes on the prowl.

Any man that has experienced true love, only to have his heart crushed by the woman that he thought he would spend his life with, will understand what I am talking about. A man that has never experienced the heartache of being burned by the one person he really trusted probably won't understand my commentary. In any case, it is important to understand why nice guys finish last and why they probably always will.


Contrary to what most women think, men are interested in successful relationships. Most men will never pass up the chance to date the woman of their dreams. In fact, when a man does encounter this rarity of a woman, his passion gets the better of him. The thoughts that race through his mind are something along the lines of, "This woman is a keeper. I'm going to treat her right and do all I can to make her happy."

The only problem with being the nice guy is that you also become the boring, predictable guy. The excitement of the seduction process begins to fade for the woman because she has what she wants and doesn't have to do any chasing. Eventually the woman starts losing interest and before you know it, her eyes start to wander.

In the end, she'll look for a new man who will bring excitement back into her life by being the "new and improved" challenge. Pursuit and excitement usually stem from selfish attitudes, much like the bad boy who doesn't care about anyone but himself. The nice guy will be left heartbroken and will start wondering what in the world he did wrong.

It's at this point that men begin to realize that most women generally don't know what they want from us. Evidently, being the nice guy certainly doesn't help. The conclusion of the aforementioned scenario? The death of the nice guy persona. So that's the life and death of the nice guy and, as a result, "Mr. Nice" is resurrected into "Mr. Jerk"

As long as nice guys continue to get burned, there will always be a healthy supply of new jerks on the horizon to provide the dose of misery that women seem to yearn for. Eventually (often quite quickly), these nice guys will realize what type of man women actually want. The result is something that snaps inside of them as they begin to mimic the jerks that most women seem to pursue incessantly.

To become that kind of man, the charade must be taken to the extreme, which involves acting like a selfish person that has no regard for other people's feelings. This amounts to a jerk that will say anything to get a woman into bed. The jerk will furnish her with tons of roller coaster emotions and once he has sex with her, he'll dump her. Why? Because he feels vengeful and wants to burn women the same way he was burned. Remember; once you get burned, don't STOP playing with fire -- you TAME the flame.

So when women inadvertently give life to these jerks, they are really shooting themselves in the feet. That's the life and legacy of jerks everywhere.

A BALANCED CHARACTER
If nice guys are what women really want, then why is it that most nice guys are single? Why is it that we constantly hear stories about women dating big jerks that took them for a ride -- literally?

The fact is that women generally don't want nice guys, or maybe they're too busy chasing after jerks to realize that they do. Why? Because women act on impulse and emotion rather than fact. Who do you suppose brings out these same irrepressible emotions in women? The jerks, of course.

So what does this all add up to? No one wants to get hurt, but in the same instance, no one wants to be perceived as a jerk either. That is why it's important to have a balanced attitude towards relationships. A man has to be able to court a woman, amuse her and excite her while continuously remaining a challenge.

 

[f a y b a n]

Originally Posted by desoIation1

Originally Posted by AME416

Originally Posted by MOSTHATED770

nice guys finish last..

true story

A wise man once told me, "As a man, you have to die once in order to live." I never fully appreciated his advice, nor did I understand it until I experienced it firsthand. From that time on, I understood the origins of the Jerk vs. Nice Guy battle.

Readers may be asking themselves, "What in the world is this guy talking about?" Well, I'm referring to the widely known fact that women habitually date men that are jerks while the "nice" guys are often left twiddling their thumbs in solitaire. Does this sound familiar to anyone?

Figuratively speaking, in order for a man to enjoy the company of women and be able to seduce them, his inner nice guy must first die through heartache. It is at this point that his inner bad boy surfaces and goes on the prowl.

Any man that has experienced true love, only to have his heart crushed by the woman that he thought he would spend his life with, will understand what I am talking about. A man that has never experienced the heartache of being burned by the one person he really trusted probably won't understand my commentary. In any case, it is important to understand why nice guys finish last and why they probably always will.


Contrary to what most women think, men are interested in successful relationships. Most men will never pass up the chance to date the woman of their dreams. In fact, when a man does encounter this rarity of a woman, his passion gets the better of him. The thoughts that race through his mind are something along the lines of, "This woman is a keeper. I'm going to treat her right and do all I can to make her happy."

The only problem with being the nice guy is that you also become the boring, predictable guy. The excitement of the seduction process begins to fade for the woman because she has what she wants and doesn't have to do any chasing. Eventually the woman starts losing interest and before you know it, her eyes start to wander.

In the end, she'll look for a new man who will bring excitement back into her life by being the "new and improved" challenge. Pursuit and excitement usually stem from selfish attitudes, much like the bad boy who doesn't care about anyone but himself. The nice guy will be left heartbroken and will start wondering what in the world he did wrong.

It's at this point that men begin to realize that most women generally don't know what they want from us. Evidently, being the nice guy certainly doesn't help. The conclusion of the aforementioned scenario? The death of the nice guy persona. So that's the life and death of the nice guy and, as a result, "Mr. Nice" is resurrected into "Mr. Jerk"

As long as nice guys continue to get burned, there will always be a healthy supply of new jerks on the horizon to provide the dose of misery that women seem to yearn for. Eventually (often quite quickly), these nice guys will realize what type of man women actually want. The result is something that snaps inside of them as they begin to mimic the jerks that most women seem to pursue incessantly.

To become that kind of man, the charade must be taken to the extreme, which involves acting like a selfish person that has no regard for other people's feelings. This amounts to a jerk that will say anything to get a woman into bed. The jerk will furnish her with tons of roller coaster emotions and once he has sex with her, he'll dump her. Why? Because he feels vengeful and wants to burn women the same way he was burned. Remember; once you get burned, don't STOP playing with fire -- you TAME the flame.

So when women inadvertently give life to these jerks, they are really shooting themselves in the feet. That's the life and legacy of jerks everywhere.

A BALANCED CHARACTER
If nice guys are what women really want, then why is it that most nice guys are single? Why is it that we constantly hear stories about women dating big jerks that took them for a ride -- literally?

The fact is that women generally don't want nice guys, or maybe they're too busy chasing after jerks to realize that they do. Why? Because women act on impulse and emotion rather than fact. Who do you suppose brings out these same irrepressible emotions in women? The jerks, of course.

So what does this all add up to? No one wants to get hurt, but in the same instance, no one wants to be perceived as a jerk either. That is why it's important to have a balanced attitude towards relationships. A man has to be able to court a woman, amuse her and excite her while continuously remaining a challenge.

 This is BS.  

 

[senatorjeffsmith]

It's not about nice v. jerk--- so stop posting it's better be a d-bag.

It's about confidence.

/thread

 

[toast1985]

Originally Posted by SenatorJeffSmith

It's not about nice v. jerk--- so stop posting it's better be a d-bag.

It's about confidence.

/thread

Exactly!

I am a nice guy by nature. And I really didn't like confrontation before I started working where I work now. Now it is nearly inevitable for me to engage in confrontation, and as I'm learning - its best to tackle your problems head on.

...I'm still a nice guy, but I do have a strong sense of when to nip something in the bud, or set the record straight when someone try to get points on my name. The best advice that I could give is to engage in some healthy confrontation, or tell them h0s what it really is, off top.

 

[humpasaurus rex]

Originally Posted by desoIation1

Originally Posted by AME416

Originally Posted by MOSTHATED770

nice guys finish last..

true story

A wise man once told me, "As a man, you have to die once in order to live." I never fully appreciated his advice, nor did I understand it until I experienced it firsthand. From that time on, I understood the origins of the Jerk vs. Nice Guy battle.

Readers may be asking themselves, "What in the world is this guy talking about?" Well, I'm referring to the widely known fact that women habitually date men that are jerks while the "nice" guys are often left twiddling their thumbs in solitaire. Does this sound familiar to anyone?

Figuratively speaking, in order for a man to enjoy the company of women and be able to seduce them, his inner nice guy must first die through heartache. It is at this point that his inner bad boy surfaces and goes on the prowl.

Any man that has experienced true love, only to have his heart crushed by the woman that he thought he would spend his life with, will understand what I am talking about. A man that has never experienced the heartache of being burned by the one person he really trusted probably won't understand my commentary. In any case, it is important to understand why nice guys finish last and why they probably always will.


Contrary to what most women think, men are interested in successful relationships. Most men will never pass up the chance to date the woman of their dreams. In fact, when a man does encounter this rarity of a woman, his passion gets the better of him. The thoughts that race through his mind are something along the lines of, "This woman is a keeper. I'm going to treat her right and do all I can to make her happy."

The only problem with being the nice guy is that you also become the boring, predictable guy. The excitement of the seduction process begins to fade for the woman because she has what she wants and doesn't have to do any chasing. Eventually the woman starts losing interest and before you know it, her eyes start to wander.

In the end, she'll look for a new man who will bring excitement back into her life by being the "new and improved" challenge. Pursuit and excitement usually stem from selfish attitudes, much like the bad boy who doesn't care about anyone but himself. The nice guy will be left heartbroken and will start wondering what in the world he did wrong.

It's at this point that men begin to realize that most women generally don't know what they want from us. Evidently, being the nice guy certainly doesn't help. The conclusion of the aforementioned scenario? The death of the nice guy persona. So that's the life and death of the nice guy and, as a result, "Mr. Nice" is resurrected into "Mr. Jerk"

As long as nice guys continue to get burned, there will always be a healthy supply of new jerks on the horizon to provide the dose of misery that women seem to yearn for. Eventually (often quite quickly), these nice guys will realize what type of man women actually want. The result is something that snaps inside of them as they begin to mimic the jerks that most women seem to pursue incessantly.

To become that kind of man, the charade must be taken to the extreme, which involves acting like a selfish person that has no regard for other people's feelings. This amounts to a jerk that will say anything to get a woman into bed. The jerk will furnish her with tons of roller coaster emotions and once he has sex with her, he'll dump her. Why? Because he feels vengeful and wants to burn women the same way he was burned. Remember; once you get burned, don't STOP playing with fire -- you TAME the flame.

So when women inadvertently give life to these jerks, they are really shooting themselves in the feet. That's the life and legacy of jerks everywhere.

A BALANCED CHARACTER
If nice guys are what women really want, then why is it that most nice guys are single? Why is it that we constantly hear stories about women dating big jerks that took them for a ride -- literally?

The fact is that women generally don't want nice guys, or maybe they're too busy chasing after jerks to realize that they do. Why? Because women act on impulse and emotion rather than fact. Who do you suppose brings out these same irrepressible emotions in women? The jerks, of course.

So what does this all add up to? No one wants to get hurt, but in the same instance, no one wants to be perceived as a jerk either. That is why it's important to have a balanced attitude towards relationships. A man has to be able to court a woman, amuse her and excite her while continuously remaining a challenge.

Damn somebody wrote about my life.  Crushed at the age of 16, took a year of at 17 and from 18 and up, I became a bad guy.  The women have responded well to my transition. 

 

 

[cubinican]

Yea I was the nice guy in high school and that got me very little wth the ladies now I am not an a hole but I speak my mind even though it might
bruise feelings but I have gotten more positive attraction so Im happy

 

[optimusprimeaphia]

Originally Posted by humpasaurus rex

Originally Posted by desoIation1

Originally Posted by AME416

Originally Posted by MOSTHATED770

nice guys finish last..

true story

A wise man once told me, "As a man, you have to die once in order to live." I never fully appreciated his advice, nor did I understand it until I experienced it firsthand. From that time on, I understood the origins of the Jerk vs. Nice Guy battle.

Readers may be asking themselves, "What in the world is this guy talking about?" Well, I'm referring to the widely known fact that women habitually date men that are jerks while the "nice" guys are often left twiddling their thumbs in solitaire. Does this sound familiar to anyone?

Figuratively speaking, in order for a man to enjoy the company of women and be able to seduce them, his inner nice guy must first die through heartache. It is at this point that his inner bad boy surfaces and goes on the prowl.

Any man that has experienced true love, only to have his heart crushed by the woman that he thought he would spend his life with, will understand what I am talking about. A man that has never experienced the heartache of being burned by the one person he really trusted probably won't understand my commentary. In any case, it is important to understand why nice guys finish last and why they probably always will.


Contrary to what most women think, men are interested in successful relationships. Most men will never pass up the chance to date the woman of their dreams. In fact, when a man does encounter this rarity of a woman, his passion gets the better of him. The thoughts that race through his mind are something along the lines of, "This woman is a keeper. I'm going to treat her right and do all I can to make her happy."

The only problem with being the nice guy is that you also become the boring, predictable guy. The excitement of the seduction process begins to fade for the woman because she has what she wants and doesn't have to do any chasing. Eventually the woman starts losing interest and before you know it, her eyes start to wander.

In the end, she'll look for a new man who will bring excitement back into her life by being the "new and improved" challenge. Pursuit and excitement usually stem from selfish attitudes, much like the bad boy who doesn't care about anyone but himself. The nice guy will be left heartbroken and will start wondering what in the world he did wrong.

It's at this point that men begin to realize that most women generally don't know what they want from us. Evidently, being the nice guy certainly doesn't help. The conclusion of the aforementioned scenario? The death of the nice guy persona. So that's the life and death of the nice guy and, as a result, "Mr. Nice" is resurrected into "Mr. Jerk"

As long as nice guys continue to get burned, there will always be a healthy supply of new jerks on the horizon to provide the dose of misery that women seem to yearn for. Eventually (often quite quickly), these nice guys will realize what type of man women actually want. The result is something that snaps inside of them as they begin to mimic the jerks that most women seem to pursue incessantly.

To become that kind of man, the charade must be taken to the extreme, which involves acting like a selfish person that has no regard for other people's feelings. This amounts to a jerk that will say anything to get a woman into bed. The jerk will furnish her with tons of roller coaster emotions and once he has sex with her, he'll dump her. Why? Because he feels vengeful and wants to burn women the same way he was burned. Remember; once you get burned, don't STOP playing with fire -- you TAME the flame.

So when women inadvertently give life to these jerks, they are really shooting themselves in the feet. That's the life and legacy of jerks everywhere.

A BALANCED CHARACTER
If nice guys are what women really want, then why is it that most nice guys are single? Why is it that we constantly hear stories about women dating big jerks that took them for a ride -- literally?

The fact is that women generally don't want nice guys, or maybe they're too busy chasing after jerks to realize that they do. Why? Because women act on impulse and emotion rather than fact. Who do you suppose brings out these same irrepressible emotions in women? The jerks, of course.

So what does this all add up to? No one wants to get hurt, but in the same instance, no one wants to be perceived as a jerk either. That is why it's important to have a balanced attitude towards relationships. A man has to be able to court a woman, amuse her and excite her while continuously remaining a challenge.

Who ever said this was BS hasn't lived...I've seen it happen. Its very true.