Official NT dad thread: can the dads get love

Dathbgboy said:
DO NOT willingly allow yourself to put on child support, that's asking for a world of stress because as u said it, it gives her all of the power. Now as far as the health insurance and daycare, she could get CCIS by stating that she is in between homes, etc etc. Putting your name on the birth certificate binds you to your child (which isn't necessarily a bad thing) and when it comes to things like cash assistance, if she takes it, they'll come after you. Now w/ her already figuring out ways to scheme and game the system, I'd be weary of what situation you put yourself it.

Now I don't know you or your child's mother (baby moms, bm, etc. sounds so ignorant and stereotypical) and I'm not saying that she could be a good or bad person, however, I would not tap dance on a slippery slope in order to avoid paying daycare and healthcare. There are things like CHIP for healthcare for the child and as I mentioned earlier CCIS for childcare.
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I see what you're saying, but if he get's a paternity test right from the rip and get's child support established now then he'll be better off in the long run..My boy didn't get the support taken care of from the jump and then when him and his girl fell out she filed that paperwork on him and he ended up owing almost a years worth of back child support..Luckily he had a decent job to where he could afford to pay the normal amount and also pay the extra til his back support got caught up..

I also had another friend where the same thing happened, but he had got laid off from his job and could only manage the normal monthly payment..They ended up suspending his license and they went into his bank account and took the whole amount of back support from him..Which sucked cause he had been saving up that money to help get him through the winter since his job rarely gives him hours during the bad weather months..

No matter what he needs to get a paternity test and get a lawyer to protect his rights..Cause the last thing you want to do is be paying on a child that you love and want to spend time with but you have a vindictive woman preventing you from seeing your baby..
 
DatZNasty said:
Any of you paying child support, even with custody? My baby mom's, even though she and baby will be living with me, not working, and I pay for everything, wants to put me on Child Support because she says it means they will give baby free health insurance and day care (which I think is true, and would be a HUGE financial burden off me), but doesn't that also give her ALL the power with regards to decisions made where hypothetically she could say just up and move to Timbuktu and I can't say anything? I know she's going to put me on the B.C, that's not an issue. But what do we, and most importantly, I, need to do to establish joint custody or whatever unwed but living together doing it "together" is considered as.

By the way, she is due anyday now. Nov 16 was the official due date but if she isn't out by the 6th, they are going to go in and get her.
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nah that's a lie unless your state is different than NC.

my child got free healthcare for a year when her mom went back to her university to finish her degree. I was financially paying for damn near everything but my child was getting free healthcare from the state. My child is 4 and I'm still not on child support. I do pay for her schooling outta pocket. Also, if you're paying for everything, please please please save all you receipts and honestly I would only give her money through banking transfers or certified checks. You gotta protect yourself in case she ever turns heel on you. 

I never give my kid mother cash money...everything is a transfer which shows it's going in her account. I be damn she turn heel and try to hit me for back child support when I was there the whole time. I don't think that's her character but a scorned woman is liable to do/say anything 
 
Fozzy Badfeet said:
 
Did any of you guys feel anxious when your partner hit 37 weeks? I'm starting to feel that way, knowing that the labor process can begin at any moment
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hell yea I was 
 
Dathbgboy said:
Not unless he has a good lawyer or good paying job and even then it's going to be tough, especially when u consider what the felony was for.
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Thats what I was thinking. Urged homie to work it out with Ol girl without all the judicial rukkus but he has other fams in his ear stating that he can do it. Idk... Thx for the response yo
 
Mr Marcus said:
DatZNasty said:
Any of you paying child support, even with custody? My baby mom's, even though she and baby will be living with me, not working, and I pay for everything, wants to put me on Child Support because she says it means they will give baby free health insurance and day care (which I think is true, and would be a HUGE financial burden off me), but doesn't that also give her ALL the power with regards to decisions made where hypothetically she could say just up and move to Timbuktu and I can't say anything? I know she's going to put me on the B.C, that's not an issue. But what do we, and most importantly, I, need to do to establish joint custody or whatever unwed but living together doing it "together" is considered as.


By the way, she is due anyday now. Nov 16 was the official due date but if she isn't out by the 6th, they are going to go in and get her.
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nah that's a lie unless your state is different than NC.

my child got free healthcare for a year when her mom went back to her university to finish her degree. I was financially paying for damn near everything but my child was getting free healthcare from the state. My child is 4 and I'm still not on child support. I do pay for her schooling outta pocket. Also, if you're paying for everything, please please please save all you receipts and honestly I would only give her money through banking transfers or certified checks. You gotta protect yourself in case she ever turns heel on you. 

I never give my kid mother cash money...everything is a transfer which shows it's going in her account. I be damn she turn heel and try to hit me for back child support when I was there the whole time. I don't think that's her character but a scorned woman is liable to do/say anything 
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Looks like by Oklahoma law, I'll be forced on Child Support anyways even if we file an affadavit that we are doing joint custody. I make way more than her, so it's going to be ugly.
 
DatZNasty said:
Looks like by Oklahoma law, I'll be forced on Child Support anyways even if we file an affadavit that we are doing joint custody. I make way more than her, so it's going to be ugly.
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It's already ugly fam. When a female is trying to get you to break laws for her comfort... so she doesn't have to try to be better, that's doom waiting to happen. You might wanna consider cutting your losses and being a weekend dad and devote the rest of your time to bettering YOUR situation. That coming from someone who's been damn near in the same predicament.

It's one thing to hustle and scheme because that's your only option and another to be lazy (not you) and unresourceful because you just don't gaf about your child's life or well being.

Present choices have future consequences.
 
One proud dad today..My son competed in his school's spelling bee today..There were 4 kids representing each grade from 1-4 (my son is in 2nd grade)..He tied for 3rd and beat all the kids from 1st, 2nd, and 3rd grade..And he earned an invitation to the district spelling bee in January..
 
DatZNasty said:
She's getting WIC and food stamps already (think her food stamps are going to run out soon too, they cut her down to $30 a month) and some sort of unemployment now although that should run out now and it's not a livable amount of money anyways, was like 6k over the last 12 months pretax. She'll just continue put her mom's address on everything, don't think her mom makes much more than 30k if that, but I assume they'll just look at her own tax returns and see she hasn't made any money in the last few yrs so she is going to be well below every threshhold line for assistance as long as it's just figuring her income and not us together because even as household I'd put us well over.

I mean, she tells me, "I'll just give it right back to you," again stressing it's about the insurance/day care for baby being free, but I need to verify the rest of how everything works around that. Her account stays overdrafted so if they direct deposit it to her, whatever it takes to bring it to $0 would be automatically gone anyways, then I end up I can't pay my/our bills because my checks are direct deposit and withdrawal for the bills but the money obviously be tied up in CSUP

Oh, is that like welfare fraud? And would get both of us in trouble? Well **** that. I got a "Government job" (not directly but kind of), can't afford anything that would affect my clearance status
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Is she sick? what is her age? why hasnt she been working for years
 
Some of it out of her control since her health ailments have legit ****** her life up, but at the same time I can see how some women might see me as a comeup. She also dropped out of college, but thinks she is too good to work retail and wants a high paying Government job but is instead relegated to $10-12/hr state jobs and is burning bridges left and right there with her attitude. She had a job but she wasn't getting along with the people so she quit and then got her doctors to write her a note excusing her from work throughout her entire pregnancy
 
casekicks said:
One proud dad today..My son competed in his school's spelling bee today..There were 4 kids representing each grade from 1-4 (my son is in 2nd grade)..He tied for 3rd and beat all the kids from 1st, 2nd, and 3rd grade..And he earned an invitation to the district spelling bee in January..
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That's dope 
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DatZNasty said:
Some of it out of her control since her health ailments have legit ****** her life up, but at the same time I can see how some women might see me as a comeup. She also dropped out of college, but thinks she is too good to work retail and wants a high paying Government job but is instead relegated to $10-12/hr state jobs and is burning bridges left and right there with her attitude. She had a job but she wasn't getting along with the people so she quit and then got her doctors to write her a note excusing her from work throughout her entire pregnancy
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she has mental health issues?
 
DatZNasty said:
Some of it out of her control since her health ailments have legit ****** her life up, but at the same time I can see how some women might see me as a comeup. She also dropped out of college, but thinks she is too good to work retail and wants a high paying Government job but is instead relegated to $10-12/hr state jobs and is burning bridges left and right there with her attitude. She had a job but she wasn't getting along with the people so she quit and then got her doctors to write her a note excusing her from work throughout her entire pregnancy
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She seems like a handful...does that not carry over to your relationship?
 
Mine could be due any time soon. She's due Dec 4th. but could come a few weeks early....

smh. What in the blue hell now...

Im shooook
 
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