TAY: IT'S A MAN THING GINA

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What's up yall, I really don't post on here and lurk here and there but I'm just really in need of some advice. I will first start off by saying I've been with my girl for 2 years now as of about a few weeks ago. I'm 4 years older than her, her being 21 and me being 25. Things between us started off well and got a bit rocky through the first year but we always remained together through it all. But lately things have been SO bad. She literally gets mad at me for anything I do. She finds wrong in anything I do. Her temper is so bad, she gets extremelyt angry unlike any girl I've ever been with or encountered. She NEVER admits fault for anything. I'm in a relationship where I always have to give in to her just to try to keep things together. Mind you her father passed away this year back in Feb and that has really affected her but I can't remember if she was like this before the passing of her Dad or if it just started and developed afterwards. I don't have anyone to talk to about this about because I literally have no one but her. It's so frustrating. This girl is SO mean and rude to me, like nonstop. And that's my biggest problem with her. She is so god damn mean to me. She'll talk to someone completely nice and then I'll make a comment or say something to her and she will flash on me. I wonder how I even made it this far with her. What I don't know is if I should just try to stick it out with hopes that one day in the future things will get better and she'll realize she has been treating me so bad or am I dumb for thinking that and I am just letting more and more time go by with this girl. Some more key facts about her is she still lives at home with her Mom and family and is VERY spoiled. Her Mom is well off pays for all of her bills and pretty much anything she needs taken care of. So we also clash about money and things of that nature because she can't really understand what it's like to have bills and rent and life to pay for. She is very loyal though, comes from a cultural background. However, she doesn't appreciate me, never is satisfied, expects too much of me, always trying to change me, doesn't act or treat me the same way she used to when we first starting going out( which was nice and loving). And as of a couple days ago i finally said ima just break up with her but then afterwards I felt so bad because I really do love this girl more than anyone I've ever been with and I told her the next day we aren't broken up. So to make things worse now she has the big upper hand because she sees how desperate I am to stay with her. But we've still been arguing everyday and she just constantly abuses me with her attitude and way of treating me. Is this just the hangover of her Dad passing and she just needs more than a year(s) to recover and shake this nasty person she's become to me. Should I stick it out since we've made it this far of 2 years?

Any advise appreciated. Like I said I have no one to talk to and ask perspective. No friends, no fam.
 
Nah, you're young. Gather some balls and keep it moving, you've gotten used to being treated like **** you think it's normal, it's not. Honestly at your age, sounds like she wants to have her cake and eat it too. The petty arguments usually start from a place of resentment, she probably wants to explore and doesn't know how to express it, but still wants to keep you around after she's done. 21 yr old women get a lot of attention they're just learning how to deal with. Nah, you deserve better, you have to believe that.
 
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Get out bruh before you end up like me, with her pregnant and now obligated to some level of attachment to her for life. We only live once, have to look out for our own happiness and best interest.
 
Move on fam. It's not worth it. She sounds immature. You also need to stand your ground, cause another girl can come around and do the same thing that this one is doing. Stand your ground and let them know you won't deal with the bs.
 
Do not be an emotional toy for someone.

We all have issues and taking it out on love ones is not the business.

Usually in older male/female relationships, the young lady is looking for something her dad didnt provide emotionally or she could be recreating what she saw her mother go through.

You cant save her, she has to want to grow and change and see the world on her own.

You are doing a disservice to your own mental health and growth staying with this young lady.

At 26, you should be finding your stride and on the verge of buillding your legacy.

Life is all about the hard decisions and how you bounce back from them.

We all have loved people at the wrong time, wrong places and possibly under the wrong circumstances and held on too long to only be devastated in the end.

Its not about being hard on h*es but you also have a life to live and if someone is not trying to help your vision or is wanting to freely partake in building and seeing the world, then its time to cut the cord.

She is a baby my dude, her early 20s' should be about making mistakes and learning the pitfalls of them.

You cant hold her hand and show her the way. It sucks her father passed a way and i know it hurts and you still love her but you have to worry about self and your well being first.

Hope you find the resolve within yourself to make the hard decision.

Read everything you posted in this thread, the answer is in your words, you just have to be strong to face them.

Peace
 
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I've got a hypothetical: Let's say you start talking and getting to know a girl (not even in the sense of trying to get with her) and you notice she's overly flirtatious, especially so early on that it catches you off-guard.

Are these kinds of women not to be taken seriously? What experiences do you guys have with these types of women and any idea why some are like this?
 
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Yeah my vote is to leave as well. However, if you're gonna stay, check her for the disrespect. People only give you what you allow them to. Best of luck fam.
 
AgentZero said:
I've got a hypothetical: Let's say you start talking and getting to know a girl (not even in the sense of trying to get with her) and you notice she's overly flirtatious, especially so early on that it catches you off-guard.

Are these kinds of women not to be taken seriously? What experiences do you guys have with these types of women and any idea why some are like this?
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Some women are like that with only the guy(s) they're interested in. Others are like that in general. The former is ok, the latter isn't for me personally
 
youngdoc said:
Some women are like that with only the guy(s) they're interested in. Others are like that in general. The former is ok, the latter isn't for me personally
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Yeah I specifically meant the latter. It would be soon after you met and started talking to them with no intentions so they likely weren't interested at the moment you started talking to them.

But say they become interested and develop feelings a little later on, should you be hesitant to take them seriously? Is it best to wait it out with these types of girls to see how/how easily their feelings fluctuate? Or just rule them out from potential relationship material?
 
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I dated someone like that, she was a generally mean person, turning down dudes but super flirtatious and into me early, took me back a bit. Acted way cooler than I should have, that **** faded quick.
 
301216baller said:
have you spoke to her about it before
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Yeah I tell her this literally all the time and she combats it with the things I do wrong and says she doesn't do what I'm saying she does. Literally has me feeling crazy all the time how she can not see how she is treating me and saying she doesn't do it.

Mark Antony said:
Nah, you're young. Gather some balls and keep it moving, you've gotten used to being treated like **** you think it's normal, it's not. Honestly at your age, sounds like she wants to have her cake and eat it too. The petty arguments usually start from a place of resentment, she probably wants to explore and doesn't know how to express it, but still wants to keep you around after she's done. 21 yr old women get a lot of attention they're just learning how to deal with. Nah, you deserve better, you have to believe that.
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Yeah I feel like she might want to explore other options too but she hasn't ever broken up with me throughout these 2 years. Like I said she is very loyal and I give her credit for that but she just doesn't act like she wants to be with me through her actions. She does get attention at work, we work at the same place and I continually tell her I don't want her talking to these few select cats and she insists she's doing nothing wrong.


DatZNasty said:
Get out bruh before you end up like me, with her pregnant and now obligated to some level of attachment to her for life. We only live once, have to look out for our own happiness and best interest.
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I want to get out and I always think back to the 2 years I just devoted to her. She tells me she wants to have a kid now and is ready but still acts the way she does, Like I don't see her logic here. Very confusing.


TomDiginson said:
Move on fam. It's not worth it. She sounds immature. You also need to stand your ground, cause another girl can come around and do the same thing that this one is doing. Stand your ground and let them know you won't deal with the bs.
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Yeah, she's very immature. She takes ownership of literally nothing. She'll make anything my fault. When SHE is late to plans we have made she turns around and blames me for something. But she can't see herself doing any of this. I've been with women in the past who have did me wrong/ cheated but I've never dealt with something like this where the woman is loyal but her attitude and way of treating me is so bad. That's what makes this decision so hard because I don't want to give up on her in her time of loss. But I don't know when enough is enough. Her Dad was a HUGE part of her life and she's Indian and comes from a BIG family orientated culture. When things happened though I expected it to bring us closer though, in that she would need to be loved and have someone be there for her. But all it turned into was her progressively treating worse and worse with her attitude and spite towards me.


Truth-Serum said:
Man, when it comes to these girls repeat after me:

I don't NEED to be with you I CHOOSE to be with you and won't hesitate to drop you like a bad habit if need be

Know your worth cuz alot of these girls ain't ****
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I've told her that this is a choice of mine and she used to appreciate me. But now she doesn't care and it doesn't phase her. In the past if a girlfriend has acted like this is has meant she was ready to break up and she eventually did so. But she has not and just remains to abuse

mugen81 said:
Do not be an emotional toy for someone.
We all have issues and taking it out on love ones is not the business.
Usually in older male/female relationships, the young lady is looking for something her dad didnt provide emotionally or she could be recreating what she saw her mother go through.
You cant save her, she has to want to grow and change and see the world on her own.
You are doing a disservice to your own mental health and growth staying with this young lady.
At 26, you should be finding your stride and on the verge of buillding your legacy.
Life is all about the hard decisions and how you bounce back from them.
We all have loved people at the wrong time, wrong places and possibly under the wrong circumstances and held on too long to only be devastated in the end.
Its not about being hard on h*es but you also have a life to live and if someone is not trying to help your vision or is wanting to freely partake in building and seeing the world, then its time to cut the cord.
She is a baby my dude, her early 20s' should be about making mistakes and learning the pitfalls of them.
You cant hold her hand and show her the way. It sucks her father passed a way and i know it hurts and you still love her but you have to worry about self and your well being first.
Hope you find the resolve within yourself to make the hard decision.
Read everything you posted in this thread, the answer is in your words, you just have to be strong to face them.
Peace
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Yeah, I always feel she is truly too young to be in a relationship like this and because she still has no real independence being with her Mom still. But I feel this case is unique because of her cultural beliefs and not really believing in breaking up, especially after having met her family and being together for 2 years. So I often feel like she is just going through a phase that she'll appreciate me for once she's out of it. She has a lot of potential and I know is a good girl at heart but the way she has been acting since pretty much Feb is unbearable. My logic my be naive and I may not know it. I've asked my Hindu homie before about Indian girls from real cultural families being loyal and he told me that meant nothing and she'll only be as loyal as she wants, like any other girl.
 
mugen81 said:
No..
Especially if you both are horrible at it.
Ice skating low key top 5 activities
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I really wanna go ice skating - I go all the time by myself so I know it's a good date idea, just wasn't sure about with a new, never before seen girl. Thanks for the confirmation 
 
Man I been wanting to take a chic ice skating forever. I think it's a great first date, especially if it's like in a mall or a seasonal rink downtown like they do here with a little restaurant attached and a museum so whenever you finish it instantly transitions and extends the date to something else, provided you want to.
 
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