The Friendzone vol r/niceguy

I'm in this right now. Dug this girl for a real long time, made a move once but at the time she didn't want to go further. Fast forward later on we link up an are in each other's lives a lil more. She knows I care for her, keeps me around. She just started getting into dating again, and I got no problem with that. I did that for a whole year and while I learned a lot, at the end of the day it didn't really bring any lasting happiness. Just felt like I was checking types of women off the list.

I'm back to square one, but I don't wanna date around just for the sake of dating or filling in a void. I never had regards for any girls feelings when it came to that. My focus has been on me and my career. Is this where I'm going wrong? If I care for someone, I show it and put my heart into it. That's how I am. I also have a lot of platonic friendships with females, never saw romantic interest in them but my previous relationship did start with us as friends (college) and still friends. Need some advice from my NT fam who's been in my shoes
 
Lil Cao said:
I'm in this right now. Dug this girl for a real long time, made a move once but at the time she didn't want to go further. Fast forward later on we link up an are in each other's lives a lil more. She knows I care for her, keeps me around. She just started getting into dating again, and I got no problem with that. I did that for a whole year and while I learned a lot, at the end of the day it didn't really bring any lasting happiness. Just felt like I was checking types of women off the list.

I'm back to square one, but I don't wanna date around just for the sake of dating or filling in a void. I never had regards for any girls feelings when it came to that. My focus has been on me and my career. Is this where I'm going wrong? If I care for someone, I show it and put my heart into it. That's how I am. I also have a lot of platonic friendships with females, never saw romantic interest in them but my previous relationship did start with us as friends (college) and still friends. Need some advice from my NT fam who's been in my shoes
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working on yourself is square one and you're on the right track. in my experience girls gravitate towards guys that can be sociable and have a good time. work on finding a social outet that you enjoy whether its sports, or the arts or whatever you enjoy doing. youll meet new people and form new connections. always worked out for me.
 
Lil Cao said:
I'm in this right now. Dug this girl for a real long time, made a move once but at the time she didn't want to go further. Fast forward later on we link up an are in each other's lives a lil more. She knows I care for her, keeps me around. She just started getting into dating again, and I got no problem with that. I did that for a whole year and while I learned a lot, at the end of the day it didn't really bring any lasting happiness. Just felt like I was checking types of women off the list.

I'm back to square one, but I don't wanna date around just for the sake of dating or filling in a void. I never had regards for any girls feelings when it came to that. My focus has been on me and my career. Is this where I'm going wrong? If I care for someone, I show it and put my heart into it. That's how I am. I also have a lot of platonic friendships with females, never saw romantic interest in them but my previous relationship did start with us as friends (college) and still friends. Need some advice from my NT fam who's been in my shoes
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When was da last time u got some buns?
 
japejapejape said:
how old are yall that yall can't have a healthy platonic relationship with a woman?


maybe yall are hanging around *******s or young chicks. these are the only conclusions i can come up with. 
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The ones I'm friends with are attracted to me or end up becoming attracted to me. It complicates things. Some of them try to slide intimacy in and when I tell them no, the friendship ends there or they stick around hoping to change my mind. We get involved I tell them this is as far as it goes, they get mad and tell me I used them or blah blah blah. Going through it right now with someone. Part of me likes her, but at this moment in my life I don't want to be tied down. Plus she's around that 29-31 year old mark so she feels that we have to get settled skeez cause her clock is ticking. I'm a young thunder cat trying to live.
 
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TomDiginson said:
 
japejapejape said:
how old are yall that yall can't have a healthy platonic relationship with a woman?


maybe yall are hanging around *******s or young chicks. these are the only conclusions i can come up with. 
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The ones I'm friends with are attracted to me or end up becoming attracted to me. It complicates things. Some of them try to slide intimacy in and when I tell them no, the friendship ends there or they stick around hoping to change my mind. We get involved I tell them this is as far as it goes, they get mad and tell me I used them or blah blah blah. Going through it right now with someone. Part of me likes her, but at this moment in my life I don't want to be tied down. Plus she's around that 29-31 year old mark so she feels that we have to get settled skeez cause her clock is ticking. I'm a young thunder cat trying to live.
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The trials and tribulations of a young, handsome, delicious NT guy
 
i haven't browsed the whole thread & I dont know if it was mentioned before but i recommend you guys listen to the good brother patrice o'neal (RIP) black phillip show and eventually listen to his cohost show beige phillip.
 
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jdfrenchbread23 said:
working on yourself is square one and you're on the right track. in my experience girls gravitate towards guys that can be sociable and have a good time. work on finding a social outet that you enjoy whether its sports, or the arts or whatever you enjoy doing. youll meet new people and form new connections. always worked out for me.
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That's some good advice brother, I've always been social and easy to talk with. but I have flaws that def need to be worked on.
 
seandon23 said:
And yet you continue to insult lol get over it man
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Yet you keep getting offended and butthurt...I mean damn if you feel what Im saying applies to you so much then thats your problem.

Let it go...if you aint a soft pansy with ***** ways then you shouldn't be concerned
 
Cedric Ceballos said:
A lot of women, especially those with multiple options who are used to getting what they want, don't know how to act when they get friend zoned or a guy doesn't show mutual interest in them. It's funny because a good chunk of them get very defensive and upset.
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Had a girl back in the day call me a ****** because I Netflixed and refused to chill afterwards.

I stop talking to her, a week later I get a text telling me that she was never interested in me in the first place, :lol:

Women amuse me.

Even funnier, she recently broke up w/ her man of a few years and I get a DM a couple days later asking to hangout.

:lol:
 
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Hyper said:
 
Cedric Ceballos said:
A lot of women, especially those with multiple options who are used to getting what they want, don't know how to act when they get friend zoned or a guy doesn't show mutual interest in them. It's funny because a good chunk of them get very defensive and upset.
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Had a girl back in the day call me a ****** because I Netflixed and refused to chill afterwards.

I stop talking to her, a week later I get a text telling me that she was never interested in me in the first place,
laugh.gif


Women amuse me.

Even funnier, she recently broke up w/ her man of a few years and I get a DM a couple days later asking to hangout.

laugh.gif
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It's funny how fast you can go from "cute" to "ugly" the second you tell them you're not interested. 
roll.gif
 
Slighted said:
@jdfrenchbread23
and everyone else -- y'all agree with this?


View media item 2193773
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Nah not the way they're framing it. They're operating under the assumption that a guys primary goal is to fill a space with a warm body, and they will automatically take the path of least resistance to fill that space. Which is complete BS. Sure some dudes are just looking to smash, he'll there are girls like that too. But average is average and unattractive is unattractive. Also I went to college at a tech school, where there were tons of intellectually gifted but socially inept girls. Tons of those girls got zero attention from any guys at all because they were shy and timid, didn't have stereotypically great bodies, didn't party, and didn't dress well. Those negatives don't some how disappear because she's a girl.

The problem with these guys is they see everything from the outside as a numbers game without even thinking about the human factor.
 
DipsetGeneral said:
Definitely agree with this Reddit post. I have the same mentality when at the club n' bar. I go after the average or below average chicl in the clique because i know the best looking one is gonna stunt.
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This couldn't be more wrong. Didn't even take the shot yet and already told yourself you gonna miss.
 
DipsetGeneral said:
Definitely agree with this Reddit post. I have the same mentality when at the club n' bar. I go after the average or below average chicl in the clique because i know the best looking one is gonna stunt.
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theyre not talking about a bar club scenario though theyre talking about life. if youre one and only goal is get laid at the end of the night sure theres some truth to it. but if youre talking about a long term significant other or husband/wife thats just plain false. this view reduces people to just the need to procreate and completely ignores chemistry, attraction, and compatability. id put money on the fact that the large majority of men and women looking in the market for a suitor  anrent looking for average to below average people just so they can have someone to fill that long term void.
 
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