would you let your significant other go to the movies alone with the opposite sex

[Coromanti]

What girls do you know of that have been friends with a guy for 20+ years that NEVER had any sort of "relationship" prior?

Me. One of my closest friends since birth is a girl. Never been into her like that (and to my knowledge she never was into me).

That being said, as her friend why would I invite her some place like a movie if I know she has a dude? A real friend would respect that boundary.

male-female friendships gotta have limits when one of the two is in a relationship, plain and simple.

 

[HankHill]

You were with you're ex-wife for 11 years and your friend for 20+? Do they know each other?

I have two close female friends who are practically my big sisters. If I'm serious with a chick, she'll end up meeting them anyway just like all my friends and they'll invite her to hang out and such. At that point its never an issue if I bring up doing something with them, especially if its an interest me and friend share, but not my girl. So like going to watch a documentary on something -- if my girl thinks it'll be boring and doesn't want to go, I'll go with friend if they're interested in seeing it. No issues from anyone.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Yeah I would...

I don't stop her from hanging with the opposite sex. If she wants to get smashed by other dudes, she will, whether you "let" her get into situations where cheating may occur or not.

No point in saying no, looking immature. If she wants to do somethin strange on the side, she'll find a way....if she doesn't, then she won't.

How does saying no make you look immature? Man I swear yall just throw words around

 

[flipnlu]

He double hockey sticks no. My old lady isn't having it either. She only trust me with one girl that isn't family. She is friends with the both of us. Has been my best friend since 3rd grade. Me and my old lady are old fashion and that is what I like. RESPECT AND LOYALTY.

 

[eiddyfouw]

Yeah I would...

I don't stop her from hanging with the opposite sex. If she wants to get smashed by other dudes, she will, whether you "let" her get into situations where cheating may occur or not.

No point in saying no, looking immature. If she wants to do somethin strange on the side, she'll find a way....if she doesn't, then she won't.

How does saying no make you look immature? Man I swear yall just throw words around

Because being jealous and insecure is often a sign of immaturity in a relationship.

Still think I'm throwing words around?

 

[blastercombo]

Because being jealous and insecure is often a sign of immaturity in a relationship.

Still think I'm throwing words around?

Jealousy is a natural feeling, and is not always a sign of immaturity. Sometimes it shows that you actually care. Now, insecurity is something else. THATS what causes all the problems.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Yea it is still throwing words around.

I agree with everyone about saying, "Let." The s/o will do whatever they want.

I think a BETTER question would be, "Would you be COOL with your girl going on a date with another dude."

I do not think saying NO to that questions has to mean you are immature or insecure.

So yes, you are still throwing that word around.

 

[fontaine]

I still don't see nothin wrong with it. People can't have attractive friends?

exactly, i don't see anything wrong with it

when 90% of the thread is on the opposite side...

And you have sunblot agreeing with you...

You should REALLY re evaluate your position


And some of y'all are leaning TOO far to the casual side...

We all know a woman that wants to cheat will cheat...

And it tends to happen to over ruling extra dominant insecure men...


But u can be little TOO lax and TOO cool and she still is compelled to cheat.

All about balance fambs...

Life is about balance. Grey area.

 

[eiddyfouw]

Because being jealous and insecure is often a sign of immaturity in a relationship.

Still think I'm throwing words around?

Jealousy is a natural feeling, and is not always a sign of immaturity. Sometimes it shows that you actually care. Now, insecurity is something else. THATS what causes all the problems.

Never said it always was.

 

[fontaine]

Yea it is still throwing words around.

I agree with everyone about saying, "Let." The s/o will do whatever they want.

I think a BETTER question would be, "Would you be COOL with your girl going on a date with another dude."

I do not think saying NO to that questions has to mean you are immature or insecure.

So yes, you are still throwing that word around.

DC does it again....

That logic.

 

[eiddyfouw]

Yea it is still throwing words around.

I agree with everyone about saying, "Let." The s/o will do whatever they want.

I think a BETTER question would be, "Would you be COOL with your girl going on a date with another dude."

I do not think saying NO to that questions has to mean you are immature or insecure.

So yes, you are still throwing that word around.

I agree with your modified version of the question.

Why would you say no though?

If you're comfortable with yourself and in your relationship, and trust your significant other. Why would you say no? I'm curious to hear why you would.

To me, saying no comes off as you're insecure (which is OFTEN from being immature- or lack of experience and trust in your relations with your S/O.)

As I said before, I wouldn't say "no, you can't", but I know she would decline the invite cause she wouldn't want to step on my toes. I would do the same with the situation reversed.

 

[niquefreak94]

Y'all cannot be serious.

It has nothing to do with stopping your girl from cheating.

It's respect.

Can your very trustworthy girl go on a weekend vacation with her long time guy friend too?

If she's gonna cheat, she's gonna cheat right?

That's more of an extreme just to show how silly it is to act like there is nothing at all wrong with a guy/chick not being cool with their s/o going out alone with someone of the opposite sex.

And yes we all agree using the word "let" is immature. You can't stop a grown person from doing what they want.

 

[blastercombo]

Never said it always was.

Never said you did

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Man you can be comfortable with yourself AND your relationship but that doesn't mean you are fine with your girl in 1-on-1 situations with other men. I don't even see the correlation there. Being comfortable/confident in something doesn't mean there isn't a such thing as unfavorable situations. I am pretty sure Greg Poppovic is comfortable, confident, and trusting of his teams but there are STILL favorable (Cavs, 76ers) situations and unfavorable situations (Heat) that you might not necessarily want to be all loose about.

Comfort does not mean the absence of concern.

As a matter of fact, before we go any further. What does, "Comfortable with yourself and your relationship" even mean? Answer that first because that might be the root of the disagreement.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Y'all cannot be serious.

It has nothing to do with stopping your girl from cheating.

It's respect.

Can your very trustworthy girl go on a weekend vacation with her long time guy friend too?

If she's gonna cheat, she's gonna cheat right?

That's more of an extreme just to show how silly it is to act like there is nothing at all wrong with a guy/chick not being cool with their s/o going out alone with someone of the opposite sex.

And yes we all agree using the word "let" is immature. You can't stop a grown person from doing what they want.

I just hate the, "If a man doesn't feel comfortable with his girl doing X,Y,Z then he is immature/insecure" logic. Yea your situation is extreme but it needs to be brought up.

At what point do you raise your attennas? Never because you are secure and mature?

Yea aight

 

[SC kid]

I think once is okay lol...like in ops scenario

Random...no one else wanted to go...long time friend etc.....

Its twice or three times when women/men be like

"Oh......youre going out with ____?....again?....."

 

[DCAllAfrican]

I think once is okay lol...like in ops scenario

Random...no one else wanted to go...long time friend etc.....

Its twice or three times when women/men be like

"Oh......youre going out with ____?....again?....."

Nah. Because, "You "let" me do it before" now becomes a talking point. That is inconsistent.

 

[treystylezpopz]

Yeah it would be cool with me, free BJ's from her behind the theater afterwards for everybody too...

 

[dathbgboy]

Pics provided, turned this thread into something promising

But if something was gon happen between the parties, it would happen and there's nothing you can do about it.

You or your woman should be respectful and considerate of you in situations like that though. My wife wouldn't go to the movies w/ a dude or even socialize w/ a dude she knows I don't feel comfortable about and vice versa.

She has guy friends and if it's a movie she wants to see and I don't but he wants to as well, go ahead and go.

 

[niquefreak94]

I just hate the, "If a man doesn't feel comfortable with his girl doing X,Y,Z then he is immature/insecure" logic. Yea your situation is extreme but it needs to be brought up.

At what point do you raise your attennas? Never because you are secure and mature?

Yea aight

Exactly man.

Also dudes in here are mad naive.

Saying she gone cheat if she wants works on paper.

She could have every intention to never cheat on you, but if she ends up alone with someone she finds herself attracted to, she'll end up fighting herself.

Her faithful intentions vs. Her attraction

If you think you can trust any human put in That situation too many times, you're niave.

 

[eiddyfouw]

Man you can be comfortable with yourself AND your relationship but that doesn't mean you are fine with your girl in 1-on-1 situations with other men. I don't even see the correlation there. Being comfortable/confident in something doesn't mean there isn't a such thing as unfavorable situations. I am pretty sure Greg Poppovic is comfortable, confident, and trusting of his teams but there are STILL favorable (Cavs, 76ers) situations and unfavorable situations (Heat) that you might not necessarily want to be all loose about.

Comfort does not mean the absence of concern.

As a matter of fact, before we go any further. What does, "Comfortable with yourself and your relationship" even mean? Answer that first because that might be the root of the disagreement.

I'm trying to make this not turn into a thesis, but my bad if it does....

I'll speak on my situation...

It means I'm not concerned about dudes out there. I've been with my woman for a good numbers of years now. I know her. I trust her. Will she never ever cheat on me? I don't know about all that. But I do know I do my best with her, and if she's to go looking for the D in other places (I doubt she would make it as obvious by going to the movies with ol boy) then so be it. But I can't stop her from going out with her male friends (bear in mind I met her knowing she had some male friends, hell some of them are my/our friends now).

Situations will present themselves, and I trust my woman's judgement. I don't need to tell her "no you can't go to the movies with X", cause I'm comfortable with myself (knowing that I do the best I can with her- if that's not enough then it never will be, and so be it) and my relationship (I know we have a bond and trust) I'm also mature enough to know that not every platonic situation means smashing will occur, so I trust the decisions she makes.

Now, as for my "concern" about situations with other men. I trust my woman to not put herself in situations where nonsense can happen e.g the movies 1 on 1. But my concern is definitely on fire if she's put in a situation that is out of her control/decision making. e.g I'm not concerned about a guy friend asking my woman to goto the movies. But I am concerned and will voice my opinion if her girl invites her to a weekend away under the guise of girls weekend away, and invites some other dudes to hook her up (btw, my issue in that case is not with the dude, but with the girl who invited the dude).

 

[jape]

op what movie was it?

 

[kickstart]

I can see how this would raise an eyebrow, but it really all boils down to trust. Do you REALLY trust your significant other?

I'd probably feel some kind of way, but I'd get over it. They had a life prior to you.

 

[blastercombo]

It's the uber "secure" men that get their girls smashed behind their back, all the time

 

[eiddyfouw]

It's the uber "secure" men that get their girls smashed behind their back, all the time

It's the uber overbearing "insecure" men that get their girls smashed behind their back, all the time

Same thing can be said.

Point is, if she really wants the D from someone else, she going to go out and get it.