A female situation regarding ethics, integrity, and (most of all) self interest

6,210
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Joined Apr 8, 2006
#1
I've known this girl for a couple months through a friend. We've probably met four or five times but I wouldn't really call her a friend. Just a cool like minded chick who happened to be very attractive to me. I work out of town, and was scheduled to leave on Thursday morning. As one last good bye I decided to grab a drink with a few of my close buddies. It was going to be short and would afford me enough time to pack two weeks worth of things before leaving. I started getting texts from her that were rather forward. She was also at a bar, but planned on staying out much later than I. 

Between the motivation from my buddies at the table, and her provocative messaging I decided to drive to her location, go with her to her house, smash all night, and leave as the sun came up. 

I left the next morning for work in a mad scramble trying to pack and catch my flight. I was able to arrive successfully but the key here is I work way the hell up north and there is almost no connectivity. I told her that too. She knew it was extremely difficult to contact her.

On the day I got back I messaged her casually asking how she was doing. She said "Wow didnt expect to hear from you". I responded asking why she felt that and she didn't respond. 

The friend of mine who introduced us saw her last night and she told him I was a coward for not sending a courtesy message. Said she felt we could be cool about all of this but I failed to do the expected.

I'm not even trying to smash anymore... but was this poor judgement on my part? It isn't my fault if the girl caught feelings, but I really do feel bad. I just don't want to walk away from this in a classes manner. In all honesty I'm not the kind of guy to do one night stands but as far as I'm concerned we MUTUALLY agreed to have sex and that's that. 

CLIFFS

-smashed an acquaintance

-left for work for two weeks

-talked to her again after two weeks

-being called a coward for not sending a courtesy message

-confused, do not know how to proceed 

IN4 YNS
 
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Joined Aug 24, 2009
Nah dude it's not that serious. People shouldn't get hung up over such small things.

Ruining a relationship because someone didn't send you a courtesy text? That's ridiculous.
 
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Joined Sep 10, 2005
You're not obligated to send a courtesy text. And you told her you wouldn't have service. You did nothing wrong, so leave it alone. Anything else you will just muddy things up for you and NT is tired of girl threads.
 
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Joined Apr 8, 2006
Originally Posted by Capricorn1229

She disliked herself after that encounter.
That's what I was thinking.
Just got more details. Guess she has a boyfriend.

I'm not trying to be the "other guy".

For real... I should be the one heated. 
 

furrell

Banned
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Joined Apr 3, 2011
Originally Posted by Capricorn1229

She disliked herself after that encounter.
Happens all the time after one night stands. There's a reason why they ask are you going to call them when you get back.
 
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Joined Feb 3, 2006
So what was wrong with her phone? She could have hit you up. Even with limited connection the text would have got to you within a two week span. She sounds mad that you werent sweating her like she thought you should have. I say explain to her the situation. If she can't understand that then there is nothing you can do and then move on. No sleep lost.
 

orfiyus

Banned
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Joined Aug 3, 2005
courtesy text message? F that. You owe this chick nothing. You were busy working and even if you were unemployed and playing videogames all day long you still owe her nothing.

This is just sum BS brainwashing this broad picked up so she doesnt wanna look like and feel like a ho.

People act like sex is some kinda contract where one party does this and another does that. Its not a big deal.
 
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Joined Apr 21, 2004
Originally Posted by Orfiyus

courtesy text message? F that. You owe this chick nothing. You were busy working and even if you were unemployed and playing videogames all day long you still owe her nothing.

This is just sum BS brainwashing this broad picked up so she doesnt wanna look like and feel like a ho.

People act like sex is some kinda contract where one party does this and another does that. Its not a big deal.
if it's not that big of a deal don't get mad if your girl smashes your best friend.
 
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Joined Nov 12, 2008
the way i read that...the op never said that he had sex with her

he only said what he decided to do
 

Mark Antony

Supporter
44,472
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Joined Apr 30, 2010
This is what gets me with these situations, communication is two-ways and she could've very well hit you up, but she just sat and waited instead of acting on her interest. It's as if she wants you to be the aggressor so if *+$! goes really wrong with her boyfriend she can blame someone else, just like she's probably blaming her bf for her doing what she did and or wanting to move on. OT vent.
 
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Joined Jan 6, 2002
Originally Posted by brettTHEjett

 I wouldn't really call her a friend.
Man let us sip real tea people barely send courtesy texts to their closest friends. You gave girl the heads up on where you were going and the connection situation. So that excuse to be upset is from.....where??

All I read was profit, you smashed and then she disregarded herself.
 
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Joined Nov 1, 2009
Sounds like you caught feelings as well.
Not necessarily a bad thing, just saying. 

And girls can be #+!%. Some of them are #+!%. They just don't like to feel like one or be called one.

So, yes, as dude said, after you smash and proceed with no contact for a few weeks, she began to not like herself  (felt %@!-y).

The moral of the story is: you gotta be able to talk yourself out of or into anything; seduce with your words. 

Oh, and that includes girls with boyfriends 



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