Anti - jokes

Reminds me of
tumblr_l4r644qY8J1qa8ktio1_500.jpg
 
Originally Posted by ServeChilled81

Originally Posted by omgitswes

It's been so long since I've actually listened to him, so I'm going through some of his quotes
Click to expand...
Whenever I read Mitch Hedberg I have to do it in his voice
laugh.gif

pimp.gif
pimp.gif
Click to expand...
laugh.gif
word, same here.
 
Originally Posted by DMoney82

Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.
Click to expand...
laugh.gif
 
Twocows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps outand runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and thenwanders off...funniest one
roll.gif
 
Originally Posted by supeRsiC97

What did Hitler say to his men just before they invaded Poland?
OK men, lets invade Poland

How do you get a black man out of a tree?
You set a ladder against the tree for him to climb down on.

How do you get 500 midgets into a Volkswagon?
You have to manufacture a Volkswagon large enough to accommodate 500 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 500 midgets into a Volkswagon is solved.
Click to expand...

roll.gif
roll.gif
roll.gif

Definitely can't sleep now that I clicked into this thread.
 
Originally Posted by supeRsiC97

What did Hitler say to his men just before they invaded Poland?
OK men, lets invade Poland

How do you get a black man out of a tree?
You set a ladder against the tree for him to climb down on.

How do you get 500 midgets into a Volkswagon?
You have to manufacture a Volkswagon large enough to accommodate 500 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 500 midgets into a Volkswagon is solved.

Person 1: Did you hear about what happened at work today?
Person 2: (Confused expression)
Person 1: Oh that's right you're deaf.....never mind


Click to expand...
DEADPAN comedy. i love it.
laugh.gif
 
If its brown flush it down. If its yellow, you are dehydrated. Go drink some more water.
 
If its brown flush it down. If its yellow, you are dehydrated. Go drink some more water.
 
read this one a long time ago..

Why did the koala bear fall out of the tree?

Cos its dead.

Why did the pigeon fall out of the tree?

Cos it was stapled to the koala.
 
heres a good one. Long read!:

A farmer had a decent racing horse that one day had twins. He called the twins Edward and Tobias. The colts were incredibly healthy and competitive, from a young age they would run together. Whenever the farmer would lay out some new hay or corn feed, the two colts would race, pushing each other as hard as they could to see who would win. Tobias always won, but it was always a close race. The farmer, noticing how competitive they were, decided to enter them in a racing competition.

Their first race both horses were very excited. Ed said to Tobias “Good luck, may the best horse win.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

The ultimate sneaker enthusiast community.

NikeTalk was created as a way of giving back to both the sneaker enthusiast community and to the greater global community of which we are all a part.

NikeTalk is NOT affiliated with Nike Inc. in any way, shape, or form. All opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect those of Nike, Inc.

© 1999-2024 NikeTalk.com

Share this page

Back
Top Bottom