ATTN Married NTers

[antbanks81]

Let me intro my question with a question: Are you the type of dude that always was in a relationship? Or were you out here spreading it around?

Now the real one...How difficult was/is it to adjust to living with your wife? I'm guessing you have known them for some years prior to making the move. Iask b/c I do want to marry my lady one day, but I wonder how I will be able to adjust to that void of personal space. I come home and do what I want when Iwant now. How much of that changed for you?

 

[boilermaker x]

You cannot go into marriage thinking about anything other than what you are able to give. If you even have in the back of your mind whatyou're going to get out of it, you're going to have problems.

 

[felix88]

To answer your first question...yes and yes.

Second question.........what i do remember thinking going into this was looking forward to us growing old together. I didn't think about personal space andthings like that. After a while, some space will be there. But thats what marriage is about.

If you're having those thoughts in the back of your mind.............YOU ARE NOT READY.

 

[illphillip]

One of the reasons I married my wife is because she has her own career, her own goals, much the way I do. So we aren't always on top of each other.

I can go out for work and not be stressed about where I am because she gets it. And she can do the same.

I can still come home and do what I want when I want for the most part. I always bug out when dudes act like they need permission from their women to do %!#@.

Smartest thing I ever did was get her a big $$% flat screen TV with her own cable set up/DVR in the bedroom. I can watch football in the living room. She canwatch Bridezillas in the bedroom. And we good.

So we can still have some space while living together.

 

[eaalto]

Originally Posted by illphillip

One of the reasons I married my wife is because she has her own career, her own goals, much the way I do. So we aren't always on top of each other.

I can go out for work and not be stressed about where I am because she gets it. And she can do the same.

I can still come home and do what I want when I want for the most part. I always bug out when dudes act like they need permission from their women to do %!#@.

Smartest thing I ever did was get her a big $$% flat screen TV with her own cable set up/DVR in the bedroom. I can watch football in the living room. She can watch Bridezillas in the bedroom. And we good.

So we can still have some space while living together.

I was stuck watching game 1 of the NLCS in the bedroom on the crappy 19" Damn it!

 

[frenchblue23]

Originally Posted by illphillip

One of the reasons I married my wife is because she has her own career, her own goals, much the way I do. So we aren't always on top of each other.

I can go out for work and not be stressed about where I am because she gets it. And she can do the same.

I can still come home and do what I want when I want for the most part. I always bug out when dudes act like they need permission from their women to do %!#@.

Smartest thing I ever did was get her a big $$% flat screen TV with her own cable set up/DVR in the bedroom. I can watch football in the living room. She can watch Bridezillas in the bedroom. And we good.

So we can still have some space while living together.

I need to do that soon.

 

[txcaddyking]

I have to disagree with part of the replies here. If you enjoy your personal alone time, you need to consider the fact that you may lose some of it.

Yes, you should be thinking about the fun part of living together, but as with anything else, you should also look at the not so fun part. Moving in withanyone is a win/lose. But, so is the idea of marriage. If you are considering marrying her, I would suggest living together first.

If she is clingy now, that will not get any better by moving in together. If you don't feel smothered by her now, sharing a living space should not changethis.

Being an only child, it was quite a change for me. A good change.

If you don't want to lose any of your free time, use a condom. Nothing will demand more of your time than being a parent.

 

[shoedinidc]

^^^Truth up in here....There are good replies in here but everyones situation is diffrent....I would never get pushed out my living room but I'm anAhole...

 

[theswoosh]

If your concerned about spending lots of time with your wife then its probably safe to say you shouldn't marry her or your not ready. The words "tilldeath do us part" are there for a reason.

 

[jaw knee c]

thats just part of marriage. but you'll still have personal time. go fishing, go play ball, poker night with the homies, etc. you just can't do itevery night.

 

[djaward]

I say you live with her first then you talk about marriage.. Thats the only way you'll really get to know her. And she'll really get to know you too.Its really easy to live with a significant other.. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS KEEP THEM HAPPY.. LISTEN, AGREE AND SATISFY and you're all set..

 

[supermanblue79]

Marriage is based on love, not on whether or not you can deal with a void in personal space.
The question is, what types of things are you doing that you don't want to give up?