Black Culture Discussion Thread

[aquatic barefoot]

…men want things too, so if & when they find this mythical guy (or worse ‘settle’ for a guy) some women end resenting him for his desires/not being that ideal

Which is why I asked the question: most men who are looking for a wife has expectations as well…

 

[WASHED KING]

Black people even listening to the whole traditional man works, women stays at home family model in the year 2025 is moronic.

Statistically speaking only 6% of black adults period earn 100k or more annually. You need a dual income to make it nowadays.

 

[tr1ll]

A lot of people...women AND men are brain washed by capitalism and consumerism via social media. Is SM not a platform that promotes capitalism and consumerism?. They exists solely to collect and retrieve money for the elite.

 

[tokes99]

Black people even listening to the whole traditional man works, women stays at home family model in the year 2025 is moronic.

Statistically speaking only 6% of black adults period earn 100k or more annually. You need a dual income to make it nowadays.

is anyone, other than those who are firmly in that socio-economic stratosphere and/or have entrenched/strict cultural values, really on that? most men & women alike expect & want to be working, but both gender seem to have really different expectations about how their relationship roles functionally & fundamentally will work

 

[finessence]

is anyone, other than those who are firmly in that socio-economic stratosphere and/or have entrenched/strict cultural values, really on that? most men & women alike expect & want to be working, but both gender seem to have really different expectations about how their relationship roles functionally & fundamentally will work

I think it also depends on what you experienced growing up. All the women in my family worked. I literally watched my mom get up and work everyday.

For ME (speaking for myself) I’m not even wasting my time with a woman who doesn’t work

 

[tr1ll]

I do here the phrase, "I do believe in gender roles", A LOT. Im also in Texas, tho.

 

[finessence]

I do here the phrase, "I do believe in gender roles", A LOT. Im also in Texas, tho.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with gender roles. I don’t think that’s the problem. It’s adults wanting to skip out on basic tasks IMO.

 

[tr1ll]

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with gender roles. I don’t think that’s the problem. It’s adults wanting to skip out on basic tasks IMO.

Thats what they mean tho. Like "a women should never take out the trash", "the man should make all the money" ect

 

[frshstunna]

I do hear the phrase, "I do believe in gender roles", A LOT. Im also in Texas, tho.

In my experience those that say this only believe in gender roles when it benefits them…It’s not a statement said in 100% good faith

 

[finessence]

In my experience those that say this only believe in gender roles when it benefits them…It’s not a statement said in 100% good faith

Exactly. It’s like I say, you can’t want “old school” 1950s, 60s, 70s and 80s values in an ENTIRELY different world. The world is not the same as it was back then. It’s so backwards.

Folks weren’t sagging their jeans or dressing half naked in that era. The standards are completely different.

like you said, people want gender roles when it’s convenient or beneficial.

Change a tire, change the oil, put up hurricane shutters, etc? That’s when they want a masculine man

They pick and choose

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Man where are the respectability politics police when you need them? They would have fun with this convo.

 

[wavycrocket]

Lot of thoughts came to mind when reading this, but beyond that, it's a well written article and a good amount of background on Nate Ament, who is playing in Nike's Hoop Summit tonight on USA. There's some sneaker content in there as well.

The basketball rise of Nate Ament is a family story - Andscape

With each step USA Basketball’s Nate Ament takes in his player edition Reeboks during the Hoop Summit, he will be giving respect to his mother by showcasing the colors of the Rwandan flag — light blue, yellow and green with a golden sun. “It’s really special for me to be able to do that,” Ament […]

andscape.com

It's not a gotcha, it's not any one thing, just a lot of information and a good amount to think about. Got it from this tweet, posted in the draft section.

Wow.

Opening paragraph/quote says alot about this young dude. Highly impressed by his perspective at his age, and his drive. Rooting for shorty

 

[tokes99]

A lot of people...women AND men are brain washed by capitalism and consumerism via social media. Is SM not a platform that promotes capitalism and consumerism?. They exists solely to collect and retrieve money for the elite.

not saying i disagree, but what does this really mean? care to expound??

for what it’s worth, the human animal is social & tho men & women are markedly different, the dimorphism between them isn’t that big which allows for a good deal of flexibility but i think most would agree about some fundamentals divisions of labor/roles…so while it’s easy to make villains of capitalism/consumerism/elites i’m not sure that those things drive/motivate the ting, sure folk have come along with ways to take advantage of our nature(s) but i think people mostly know what they want so i don’t so much subscribe to brain washed line of thinking.

 

[tr1ll]

not saying i disagree, but what does this really mean? care to expound??

for what it’s worth, the human animal is social & tho men & women are markedly different, the dimorphism between them isn’t that big which allows for a good deal of flexibility but i think most would agree about some fundamentals divisions of labor/roles…so while it’s easy to make villains of capitalism/consumerism/elites i’m not sure that those things drive/motivate the ting, sure folk have come along with ways to take advantage of our nature(s) but i think people mostly know what they want so i don’t so much subscribe to brain washed line of thinking.

A lot of people are trying to live a life or obtain an image that was sold to them one way or another. The only way they think they can get that life or image is to get as much money as possible so they can give as much as possible to someone who already has it, in abundance, so they can LOOK like they got it. You ever heard a women say, "I want a man that has 6 figures....in his savings.."? Unless she was already a frugal person, hell no. The gender role folks believe the man makes as much money as possible to give to the women so she can spend it to make her happy. Both parties are brainwashed to believe the have to pay for happiness in life.

 

[finessence]

A lot of people are trying to live a life or obtain an image that was sold to them one way or another. The only way they think they can get that life or image is to get as much money as possible so they can give as much as possible to someone who already has it, in abundance, so they can LOOK like they got it. You ever heard a women say, "I want a man that has 6 figures....in his savings.."? Unless she was already a frugal person, hell no. The gender role folks believe the man makes as much money as possible to give to the women so she can spend it to make her happy. Both parties are brainwashed to believe the have to pay for happiness in life.

These women want to be stay at home moms, they want a monthly stipend… a wealthy man ANDDDD they want him to be completely faithful to them. That is INSANITY.

Regular, average Joe’s with normal jobs cheat or step out, there’s absolutely no way women should ever think wealthy men don’t cheat. That’s asinine. That’s the problem with people

Dudes literally have the means to make people disappear, but they are incapable of cheating? Newsflash, the richest dudes are going to cheat, and they cheat wayyyyy more than middle class or lower level earners

 

[finessence]

not saying i disagree, but what does this really mean? care to expound??

for what it’s worth, the human animal is social & tho men & women are markedly different, the dimorphism between them isn’t that big which allows for a good deal of flexibility but i think most would agree about some fundamentals divisions of labor/roles…so while it’s easy to make villains of capitalism/consumerism/elites i’m not sure that those things drive/motivate the ting, sure folk have come along with ways to take advantage of our nature(s) but i think people mostly know what they want so i don’t so much subscribe to brain washed line of thinking.

You do realize that humans are LESS social than ever before? That’s the point we are trying to make. Times have changed, people have changed. Someone from 1600s… 1850s… 1950s… 1998… is not like a person from 2025.

Phones and social media have completely upended the dynamics of interpersonal relationships. That’s what we keep trying to highlight with you all.

People want to evolve or make adjustments with every factor of life…. Except socializing and relationships. They want relationships to stand pat as if it’s 1965… but they want everything else to be adjusted for the times.

It will never balance out.

And a lot of people are DEFINITELY brainwashed because there are a ton of people in their 30s and 40s… who act naive as if they’re in their late teens or 20s. Basic things that they should understand by the time they reach 30 and 40, that they can’t comprehend.

Growing pains and mistakes are supposed to happen in your 20s. That’s understandable. We ALL lose value as we get older. That’s common sense

 

[tr1ll]

Dead *** the women that want to live that life with THAT guy should just learn to share a man. I guarantee the number black men enrolling in college would SKYROCKET.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Dead *** the women that want to live that life with THAT guy should just learn to share a man. I guarantee the number black men enrolling in college would SKYROCKET.

Too much societal pressure for them to accept that publicly. They have to reject that idea in public. (or at least pretend to reject it.

But the numbers just aren't in their favor AT ALL.

 

[tokes99]

A lot of people are trying to live a life or obtain an image that was sold to them one way or another. The only way they think they can get that life or image is to get as much money as possible so they can give as much as possible to someone who already has it, in abundance, so they can LOOK like they got it. You ever heard a women say, "I want a man that has 6 figures....in his savings.."? Unless she was already a frugal person, hell no. The gender role folks believe the man makes as much money as possible to give to the women so she can spend it to make her happy. Both parties are brainwashed to believe the have to pay for happiness in life.

granted modern life has complicated much of everything but all things being equal, granted this is almost never the case & people weigh differently certain attributes, wouldn’t most women prefer a man w/access to more resources than one w/less & don’t men prefer a certain flush, youthful look & hip to waist ratio on women…do they need to be sold this? given that these understood almost inherently men & women will both play on those to get what they want…so manipulation is always afoot but i’m not sure it’s all that much brain washing (propaganda definitely exists but i’d put that it’s own distinct category)

These women want to be stay at home moms, they want a monthly stipend… a wealthy man ANDDDD they want him to be completely faithful to them. That is INSANITY.

Regular, average Joe’s with normal jobs cheat or step out, there’s absolutely no way women should ever think wealthy men don’t cheat. That’s asinine. That’s the problem with people

Dudes literally have the means to make people disappear, but they are incapable of cheating? Newsflash, the richest dudes are going to cheat, and they cheat wayyyyy more than middle class or lower level earners

expecting sexual fidelity from a desirable man w/access to resource/status/women is for sure slightly unrealistic/unreasonable given the nature of men but it isn’t insanity…altho i have no data to support it i tend to think man that earn more cheat less, which isn’t to say i think these man don’t cheat i just think they have more to do & more to lose than most men

You do realize that humans are LESS social than ever before? That’s the point we are trying to make. Times have changed, people have changed. Someone from 1600s… 1850s… 1950s… 1998… is not like a person from 2025.

Phones and social media have completely upended the dynamics of interpersonal relationships. That’s what we keep trying to highlight with you all.

People want to evolve or make adjustments with every factor of life…. Except socializing and relationships. They want relationships to stand pat as if it’s 1965… but they want everything else to be adjusted for the times.

It will never balance out.

And a lot of people are DEFINITELY brainwashed because there are a ton of people in their 30s and 40s… who act naive as if they’re in their late teens or 20s. Basic things that they should understand by the time they reach 30 and 40, that they can’t comprehend.

Growing pains and mistakes are supposed to happen in your 20s. That’s understandable. We ALL lose value as we get older. That’s common sense

what’s your definition of ‘social’ because in one sense you’re noting things have changed but you’re referencing an old standard by saying folk are ‘less social than ever before?’ one might say that people aren’t creating as close/deep bonds/connections, that’s a different thing/tangent to the level of socialness tho

even if accepting the premise that:

‘there are a ton of people in their 30s and 40s… who act naive as if they’re in their late teens or 20s. Basic things that they should understand by the time they reach 30 and 40, that they can’t comprehend.’

wouldn’t this be more a lack of development and/or understanding than ‘brainwashing?’

if we accept that people, things, & values aren’t static, when do you ever stop learning? as such won’t people continue to have growing pains & make mistakes as the move throughout their lives? value is relative, a 45 yo pro athlete isn’t going to be that valuable in most sports, but if the ‘sport’ is chess or that athlete mentors younger athletes…the context impacts the value

 

[Raji Lowenthal]

You do realize that humans are LESS social than ever before? That’s the point we are trying to make. Times have changed, people have changed. Someone from 1600s… 1850s… 1950s… 1998… is not like a person from 2025.

Phones and social media have completely upended the dynamics of interpersonal relationships. That’s what we keep trying to highlight with you all.

People want to evolve or make adjustments with every factor of life…. Except socializing and relationships. They want relationships to stand pat as if it’s 1965… but they want everything else to be adjusted for the times.

It will never balance out.

And a lot of people are DEFINITELY brainwashed because there are a ton of people in their 30s and 40s… who act naive as if they’re in their late teens or 20s. Basic things that they should understand by the time they reach 30 and 40, that they can’t comprehend.

Growing pains and mistakes are supposed to happen in your 20s. That’s understandable. We ALL lose value as we get older. That’s common sense

Depends on what you mean by social. Judging by my SM experience women are very social, just using a new platform.

 

[finessence]

Depends on what you mean by social. Judging by my SM experience women are very social, just using a new platform.

… in person. Which matters more than anything

The way in which we socialize it what matters. Anyone can hide behind a phone or screen.

Not talking about going live, IG stories, YouTube videos, etc

Talking about in person interactions.

 

[Raji Lowenthal]

… in person. Which matters more than anything

The way in which we socialize it what matters. Anyone can hide behind a phone or screen

We socialized in person when we had to, you can socialize way more now with far less effort. Don't act like men and women weren't lying before SM either lol.

 

[Present]

This is the best summation on the subject of relationships that I've seen to date.

His rationale holds regardless of time, race, gender, or sex.

It's not a subjective but an objective view of interpersonal relationships between men and women.

His content has advanced my understanding a great deal. I use it all the time.

Clear, succint, and accurate:

 

[finessence]

We socialized in person when we had to, you can socialize way more now with far less effort. Don't act like men and women weren't lying before SM either lol.

Who said anything about lying? That has nothing to do with what I said.

I’m specifically talking about face to face interactions

 

[Raji Lowenthal]

Who said anything about lying? That has nothing to do with what I said.

I’m specifically talking about face to face interactions

What do you mean hide behind a phone screen? I sure thought you meant the truth.