Chicks From Foster Homes?

[feeninlikejodeci]

At work we were discussing travel plans for Christmas/New Years and this girl Katie who is usually talkative was pretty much silent and staring at the ground.

When we went on break, one of her friends told us she was raised in a foster home. Which explains certain things...when I told her i have roommates in my apartment she literally thought I shared a room with another dude like a bunk bed type setup

But anyways she doesnt have any contact with the "family" and harbors some resentment towards them cause they were only interested in getting as much money as possible. Apparently they got $200/mo per kid and had up to a dozen kids in the house at one point. The parents were a lesbian couple in their 40s. The "Dad" worked part time as a janitor but the Mom pretty much lived off the Foster income and sat around all day knitting blankets.

Some of her "siblings" had behavioral issues and would do stints in DYS and psych wards. They didnt necessarily live in the Hood though - the school district she went to is one of the top ten in the country. She was able to get a partial scholarship and was majoring in Political Science before COVID hit.

So anyways would you guys date an orphan or someone who was adopted?

 

[stay lurkin]

I mean, I believe in giving everyone a chance but there are deep seeded issues even in the best of us. I couldn’t imagine what is cooking inside of her .

She seems young so I am not even sure if she knows. Putting the D in her will most likely bring it out though so be as careful as you can be.

Sorry I guess I don’t really have really advice other than you gonna learn what you gonna learn so go ahead man .

keep us posted

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Wild title.
Wild dude OP is.

 

[s0lefunk]

My neighbor growing up would foster kids. The couple girls she had would always start to like me . My advice is to tread lightly and be ready to grow with her no matter how serious or short the dating phase is. Talk, listen, and observe. Abandonment issues manifest in weird ways especially in adults (speaking from current experience). If things get serious you'll need to reshape her understanding and expectations of family dynamics. "Traditional" families aren't perfect either but that doesn't mean the concept of family isn't worth pursuing.

 

[Extrait de Minimalisme]

Proud of NT and the mature first couple of replies.

not much else needs to be said, OP.

 

[krazy88s]

So anyways would you guys date an orphan or someone who was adopted?

Yes.

We all have issues

 

[Chopper]

"Dad", "knitting blankets"

 

[RIP sleazyy]

short term dating a 26+ year old post therapy yeah

She seems young so I am not even sure if she knows. Putting the D in her will most likely bring it out though so be as careful as you can be.

!!!!!

women and men from good homes walking around with deep seeded issues. could see some abandonment and maybe boundary stuff being involved here.

these are not the women you get involved with if you’re a certified scumbag

 

[Mark Antony]

Yeah everyone has their issues, case by case. I'm calm, low maintenance and a man of my word, but steadfast in who I am so mature women who've dealt with similar issues tend to relax a bit around me. How you are affects that as well.

 

[eracism]

She might be loyal af if she finds someone who loves her.

Or she might throw a lamp at you when you come home from work because she has attachment issues

 

[stay lurkin]

I'm calm, low maintenance and a man of my word, but steadfast in who I am so mature women who've dealt with similar issues tend to relax a bit around me.

This is an interesting way to put it and probably why I have a lot of success with older women (if I am following you correctly).

Younger women like me but something about being secure and unwavering in who I am doesn't fit into their relationship algorithm or what have you.

 

[Mark Antony]

This is an interesting way to put it and probably why I have a lot of success with older women (if I am following you correctly).

Younger women like me but something about being secure and unwavering in who I am doesn't fit into their relationship algorithm or what have you.

Yeah not necessarily older but mature in that they acknowledge they have issues and have taken steps to deal with it over the years and understand the behaviors it triggers. Though younger folks in general do tend to deal with their issues with fire and aggression, burn it all down, having your **** together is not a part of that script.

 

[smedroc]

Putting the D in her will most likely bring it out though so be as careful as you can be.

 

[jjs]

She might be loyal af if she finds someone who loves her.

Or she might throw a lamp at you when you come home from work because she has attachment issues

so like any women out there?

 

[adobecs4]

She's probably a female Dexter on the low. Run OP. You see how he turned out.

 

[getback]

You in MA OP?

Anyways.. not dating a person strictly because they were abandoned or left alone as a youth is wild. Steve Jobs and Malcolm X were orphans.

If you're interested go on a date. If it works out, hooray. Why discriminate the girl over something she had no control over.

It's also sad that people foster kids for financial reasons, but people are trash. Doing kids no justice.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

It's also sad that people foster kids for financial reasons, but people are trash. Doing kids no justice.

Yes and No.

Someone can be "doing it for the money" but that doesn't necessarily mean they aren't showing the kids as much love as they can possibly show them.

Some folks are dirt poor and need ways to make extra income..

I don't view "Doing it for the Money" = "Mistreating the Kids."

It just means money is the #1 motivator.

 

[kingkoopa]

PICS!

 

[stay lurkin]

Yes and No.

Someone can be "doing it for the money" but that doesn't necessarily mean they aren't showing the kids as much love as they can possibly show them.

Some folks are dirt poor and need ways to make extra income..

I don't view "Doing it for the Money" = "Mistreating the Kids."

It just means money is the #1 motivator.

Yeah man. Like most things in life **** is complicated.

 

[getback]

Yes and No.

Someone can be "doing it for the money" but that doesn't necessarily mean they aren't showing the kids as much love as they can possibly show them.

Some folks are dirt poor and need ways to make extra income..

I don't view "Doing it for the Money" = "Mistreating the Kids."

It just means money is the #1 motivator.

I wasn't implying that someone reaping the financial benefits of fostering children can't also be good care takers.

I'm talking about the ones that are doing it "only" for the money. It's pretty common. I used to be a social worker and witnessed it first hand. I've seen kinship foster parents say they'd drop off the niece or nephew at the social services office unless a check was immediately cut. Those are the ones I'm referring to. I should have clarified.

If they're a good foster parent, then obviously disregard. The money part is moot.

 

[sooperhooper]

I don't see an issue with it. I'd probably prefer it over a girl with a huge family that she's very close to and they influence a lot of her decisions. I hate that. And I hate large family gatherings.

 

[jape]

some of yall's generalizations are wild af
meet one chick and apply that same experience to every chick that yall view as similar