College

[yen2dro3]

Originally Posted by paliplaya2010

Originally Posted by Mo Matik

Your faith is getting in the way of what is considered the proper form of socialization in college. This isn't a bad thing. This shows you have will, which is certainly a positive characteristic.

However, it's apparent you lack confidence. Work on techniques to take yourself out of your comfort zone. There's plenty of lists available online of ways to accomplish this. It's going to take a lot of effort. Also, it'd help greatly to take a public speaking class next semester. This would actually force you out of your comfort zone.

The most important thing is that you simply need to socialize with people you share your faith with. Go to your MSA meetings and meet other Muslims. Do you go to a school with a descent amount? Transferring to a school with a relatively large amount of Muslims would certainly help. I'm sure a majority would be welcoming and support a friendship. You are simply not going to make strong bonds with non-Muslims very easily without participating in the most popular form of socialization in alcohol consumption. You can bypass that by building your confidence though.

Also, don't forget, your at school to do well. That's priority #1, and you're doing that. Many incoming freshman make the mistake of having the wrong priorities, and building a social life first. You made the most logical decision. Kudos for that.


Again, don't be so hard on yourself. Your initial post screams of self pity. Whether or not this was intentional is beside the point. You either wanted to appear to pity yourself or you actually do.

Value yourself, and others will follow. You have already displayed a lot of good qualities from the very little I know about you.

EDIT:

Also, reconsider transferring to another school unless you will actually be living on campus.

If you're transferring to another school and will be commuting, you can probably forget about building that social life you desire.  I speak from experience.

The thing is a have an astronomical amount of confidence and swagger, i think it came off a little too strong to a lot of teammates so I wasnt liked by many of the upper classmen n i tried the whole party scene, n honestly without being with your boys or drunk, its no fun. plus my 1 real friend is also transferring next year. the only reason i dont wanna transfer is it will be a worse college n i will be commuting. only positive thing is a have a ton of friends who go there.

Loudest one in the room is the weakest.

 T.O 

 

[fog raw]

Originally Posted by trey ohh five

I'm a freshman in college too and I feel as if most of us come in with this perception that everything is going to be handed to us and women and going to be lining up at your door, unfortunately that is not the way it is. If there's one that this place has done to me in this short time I've been here is it's brought me back down to earth, I was one of those popular kids in high school and suddenly I come into a place where there's hundreds of other dudes that were also top dogs where they're from. Go out and meet people, spark up a conversation with any pretty girl you have a chance to speak to, I've learned to never pass up on a simple conversation with an attractive girl here you would be surprised how small talk in the elevator can lead to you getting a number and then eventually lead to casual sex, that's the beauty of college. Don't stay down, college can kick you in the %## sometimes but this is when we really figure out who we are, I luckily have a tight knit group of friends that I've really connected to, but like others have said join a club, intramural team, fraternity, etc. If smashing girls is your main priority then I would urge you to rush next semester, you don't have to have any game whatsoever as long as you have Greek letters across your chest.

QFTMFT. You took the words right out of my mouth.

I've been wondering whether I should join a frat or not. I decided not to rush first semester of my first year because I wanted to see how the university course load would be like... And so far, it's not looking too good. I'm horrible at time management... But I'm not the hardcore party type, so I'll probably not join one..

But I'm so lucky that I still have a group of friends to hang out with every time I'm on my breaks. But I would really like to meet some new friends and maybe even find that girl.. It just sucks knowing that I'm wasting my time right now, because I know how fast university goes by

 

[acidicality]

I just graduated this year and I know where you're coming from, but I wish I were back in college again.

My first two years, I couldn't really find myself, I'm a naturally shy guy so I didn't really venture socially outside my inner group of suitemates, so it sucked badly. But eventually, I was able to find myself a bit and I started making some good friends that are more like me, and my last two years were a lot more eventful.

I really wish I were more active in trying to meet new people. So, if you have the chance to, go out there and go to club meetings, even if you have to go solo. Some clubs could be more clique-ey, but if you find the right one you could get yourself a nice social circle. Also, talk to people in your classes, for your major, try to make a few friends that you can work on homework together on, that'll help a lot. I finally got that my 3rd year and it made things a lot better for me. I was an engineering major, so I had to study sometimes when I knew other people were out partying.

And getting good grades is definitely the number one priority, but try to be balanced and go out at least occasionally. It's not about how smart you are, it's about how you manage your time. 

 

[fog raw]

Originally Posted by trey ohh five

I'm a freshman in college too and I feel as if most of us come in with this perception that everything is going to be handed to us and women and going to be lining up at your door, unfortunately that is not the way it is. If there's one that this place has done to me in this short time I've been here is it's brought me back down to earth, I was one of those popular kids in high school and suddenly I come into a place where there's hundreds of other dudes that were also top dogs where they're from. Go out and meet people, spark up a conversation with any pretty girl you have a chance to speak to, I've learned to never pass up on a simple conversation with an attractive girl here you would be surprised how small talk in the elevator can lead to you getting a number and then eventually lead to casual sex, that's the beauty of college. Don't stay down, college can kick you in the %## sometimes but this is when we really figure out who we are, I luckily have a tight knit group of friends that I've really connected to, but like others have said join a club, intramural team, fraternity, etc. If smashing girls is your main priority then I would urge you to rush next semester, you don't have to have any game whatsoever as long as you have Greek letters across your chest.

QFTMFT. You took the words right out of my mouth.

I've been wondering whether I should join a frat or not. I decided not to rush first semester of my first year because I wanted to see how the university course load would be like... And so far, it's not looking too good. I'm horrible at time management... But I'm not the hardcore party type, so I'll probably not join one..

But I'm so lucky that I still have a group of friends to hang out with every time I'm on my breaks. But I would really like to meet some new friends and maybe even find that girl.. It just sucks knowing that I'm wasting my time right now, because I know how fast university goes by

 

[acidicality]

I just graduated this year and I know where you're coming from, but I wish I were back in college again.

My first two years, I couldn't really find myself, I'm a naturally shy guy so I didn't really venture socially outside my inner group of suitemates, so it sucked badly. But eventually, I was able to find myself a bit and I started making some good friends that are more like me, and my last two years were a lot more eventful.

I really wish I were more active in trying to meet new people. So, if you have the chance to, go out there and go to club meetings, even if you have to go solo. Some clubs could be more clique-ey, but if you find the right one you could get yourself a nice social circle. Also, talk to people in your classes, for your major, try to make a few friends that you can work on homework together on, that'll help a lot. I finally got that my 3rd year and it made things a lot better for me. I was an engineering major, so I had to study sometimes when I knew other people were out partying.

And getting good grades is definitely the number one priority, but try to be balanced and go out at least occasionally. It's not about how smart you are, it's about how you manage your time. 

 

[fog raw]

^^ That's some great advice, acid

For me, I joined 3 university clubs, intramural basketball, and I've met a ton of new people; however, we're more like 'acquaintances' than anything... How do I follow up on that, and become actual 'friends'?

 

[fog raw]

^^ That's some great advice, acid

For me, I joined 3 university clubs, intramural basketball, and I've met a ton of new people; however, we're more like 'acquaintances' than anything... How do I follow up on that, and become actual 'friends'?

 

[th0mas cr0wn]

it's cause you don't drink

 

[th0mas cr0wn]

it's cause you don't drink

 

[migit1209]

It's my freshman year as well. I've only met one real "friend". Nothing wrong with that imo. I'm cool with my clubs too. With time tho

 

[migit1209]

It's my freshman year as well. I've only met one real "friend". Nothing wrong with that imo. I'm cool with my clubs too. With time tho

 

[hess side 978]

I don't care about having friends at school at all. Im here for the grades, now that I'm 21 if I want a social life I can go home and see old friends or go into Boston drinking for a night. All I do at school is go to class, spliff, play ball, poker, and watch/bet on sports.

I aint tripping on females either, if I come across some good material I'll start a convo, other than that...I just want a girl that actually likes me for me. plenty of girls in college that are satisfied with any dude who will give them attention. I want a girl who I have a connection with, not just that we are both in college, drunk and horny. One night stands are fun and all, but the next night of wishing you still had someone in your bed gets old.

 

[hess side 978]

I don't care about having friends at school at all. Im here for the grades, now that I'm 21 if I want a social life I can go home and see old friends or go into Boston drinking for a night. All I do at school is go to class, spliff, play ball, poker, and watch/bet on sports.

I aint tripping on females either, if I come across some good material I'll start a convo, other than that...I just want a girl that actually likes me for me. plenty of girls in college that are satisfied with any dude who will give them attention. I want a girl who I have a connection with, not just that we are both in college, drunk and horny. One night stands are fun and all, but the next night of wishing you still had someone in your bed gets old.

 

[checks mcgee]

Like someone said before, you gotta be more friendly.  If your personality is uninviting then open up conversations, you'd be surprised to how many people open up to you.  OP what school you at btw?

 

[checks mcgee]

Like someone said before, you gotta be more friendly.  If your personality is uninviting then open up conversations, you'd be surprised to how many people open up to you.  OP what school you at btw?

 

[raptors29]

College is what you make it. I suggest you start living life on the edge.

 

[raptors29]

College is what you make it. I suggest you start living life on the edge.

 

[sputnik]

Hit the gym more. You'll meet new people, guys and girls.

 

[sputnik]

Hit the gym more. You'll meet new people, guys and girls.

 

[d723]

I haven't read the rest of this thread yet but DO NOT transfer home!!! Take this from someone with that experience...

I went to the U of Memphis my 1st semester and really enjoyed it, but got so homesick that I moved back after a semester... Lemme just say your whole perspective on your hometown will change, most of my old HS friends are still doin that same lame #%%@ hangin out wit the same crews and $$#%@%%. I hated it so much that I only stayed one more semester and then moved away from home and it was a really great decision.

All I can say is be OPEN to new opportunites... use positive thinking to make it through the day. All it takes is one thing to change your whole perspective... you will find it trust me.

 

[d723]

I haven't read the rest of this thread yet but DO NOT transfer home!!! Take this from someone with that experience...

I went to the U of Memphis my 1st semester and really enjoyed it, but got so homesick that I moved back after a semester... Lemme just say your whole perspective on your hometown will change, most of my old HS friends are still doin that same lame #%%@ hangin out wit the same crews and $$#%@%%. I hated it so much that I only stayed one more semester and then moved away from home and it was a really great decision.

All I can say is be OPEN to new opportunites... use positive thinking to make it through the day. All it takes is one thing to change your whole perspective... you will find it trust me.

 

[acidicality]

If you want to turn acquaintances into more as "friends", I'd say just talk to them more and get to know them better when you have the opportunity, I know that sounds overly simple though. I'll give an example...there's this one dude who I met in freshman year from a club, and he was pretty much just an "acquaintance" until junior year, one time after class I just started chopping it up with him and now he's probably one of my best friends out of college.

 

[acidicality]

If you want to turn acquaintances into more as "friends", I'd say just talk to them more and get to know them better when you have the opportunity, I know that sounds overly simple though. I'll give an example...there's this one dude who I met in freshman year from a club, and he was pretty much just an "acquaintance" until junior year, one time after class I just started chopping it up with him and now he's probably one of my best friends out of college.

 

[checks mcgee]

Heres another way to do it

1) drink excessive amount of beer with one friend you have
2) go to biggest party on campus
3) a) ask a hot girl to be your beer pong partner, b) find a hot girl that is in one your classes at the party, c) face chug a hot girl then brag that she got owned, ok dont do that one

 

[checks mcgee]

Heres another way to do it

1) drink excessive amount of beer with one friend you have
2) go to biggest party on campus
3) a) ask a hot girl to be your beer pong partner, b) find a hot girl that is in one your classes at the party, c) face chug a hot girl then brag that she got owned, ok dont do that one