Confessions

i smashed one of my best friends girls 5 years ago or so..they broke up that night and we smashed..

prior to this night the girl and i hated each other and she was telling him not to chill with me..him and i didnt chill for almost 5 years

..anyway me and dude dont even kick it anymore and i could care less about how he feels..

i was out shopping yesterday and i saw his new girl...i saw her checking me out..i dont know if she knows im her mans friend, since me and him stopped talking before they got together..

he lives a couple hours away, and is going to school..

i would smash her too, only to teach him a lesson about getting sprung on these chicks that arent worth it...

his parents are rich and these chicks didnt pay him any mind till they found out his fam was loaded..

all of a sudden he started bringing all these lames around that only wanted to kick it with him cuz of the stuff he had..

also i think he didnt like that i could get the girls based on my personality and charm and he didnt have any of that...

dude is so afraid to be himself, its sad..but i got nothin but love for em..
 
a lot of you sound like real pieces of %^$&     some of you crying over what you have?   this thread is comedy  s/o to those with real problems i feel you
 
i hate the world i live in 

im tired of the **** i keep hearing about my generation

i left high school to go to job corp because i didnt do **** in school

i ended up graduating before my class

been out of school for 6 months still dont have a job

got fired from six flags two days after working

trying to go to college but still not able to study for act

i was feeln this broad i wanted since 10th grade but never made a move and i still cant stop thinking about her

for some time i disclaimed my brother after we had a fight

i feel my mom is disapointed in my because she never got to see none of her kids walk across the stage

i almost got arrested two days after i turned 18 (dec 16) 

i stole my moms van to go pick up my friend

at a point in time things have gotten so bad between my brother i had thoughts of offing him 

freshman year i tried to off myself

ive been solo since i left regular school

i really feel only have (1) friend

felt like i havent done anything this past year

i believe my childhood ended at 7 years old

have 6 months figure out what im going to do or i wont have a place to stay

i dont think im smart enough to work my dream job
 
i hate the world i live in 
im tired of the **** i keep hearing about my generation
i left high school to go to job corp because i didnt do **** in school
i ended up graduating before my class
been out of school for 6 months still dont have a job
got fired from six flags two days after working
trying to go to college but still not able to study for act
i was feeln this broad i wanted since 10th grade but never made a move and i still cant stop thinking about her
for some time i disclaimed my brother after we had a fight
i feel my mom is disapointed in my because she never got to see none of her kids walk across the stage
i almost got arrested two days after i turned 18 (dec 16) 
i stole my moms van to go pick up my friend
at a point in time things have gotten so bad between my brother i had thoughts of offing him 
freshman year i tried to off myself
ive been solo since i left regular school
i really feel only have (1) friend
felt like i havent done anything this past year
i believe my childhood ended at 7 years old
have 6 months figure out what im going to do or i wont have a place to stay
i dont think im smart enough to work my dream job

It gets better fam.
 
I just finished up my first semester of college with a 1.76 GPA (and it will get even lower if I don't make up a math final that still won't bring me anywhere close to passing the class) and I haven't told a single person in my family yet. When they ask me how school is/how my grades are, I just him them with "Alright."

I spent all of the first semester just BSing with my suitemates that I just automatically clicked with. A couple of them are heavy smokers, and I used to smoke once in a while in High School so I spent the first month and a half pretty much in a state of never being sober. I skipped class all of the time, but made sure to get the notes from a girl that I quickly became friends with who had the same schedule as me.

I hadn't even handed in more than two assignments across the board until the last two weeks prior to finals. :smh:

My single mom is working herself, quite literally, into an early grave to pay for tuition and keep herself afloat/give me everything that she can (I don't ask for much, I buy my own sneakers/clothes/games/etc. with money that my family tosses me occasionally/during holidays. I'd maybe squeeze her for a $20 here and there to make up on something I want to buy like 3 times a year) and I am letting her down tremendously by not putting in an equal effort.

I need to finish the year with a 3.0 GPA to keep my scholarship and stay enrolled in the School of Math program and even if I do everything possible (somehow receive a 4.0), it still won't be possible for me to get where I need to be by summer vacation. I've been avoiding thinking about it, but when I do; I start to stress.

WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO?!

Felt good to get that all out in words.

I want to let you know that I totally get where you're coming from. I started out as a freshman in 2011 and my favorite activities were mostly getting stoned and playing video games which lead to me failing my Calc I class. I did somewhat better in winter quarter but then I completely fell apart spring quarter, got a 1.1 GPA that quarter from failing two classes (Intermediate Calc I/II and Gen Chem 3). My freshman cumulative gpa was a 2.1 after freshman forgiveness credits were replaced.

Let me tell you that I've dealt with a lot of ****** *** people at school who I made the wrong choice of associating with and not worrying enough about how I was going to succeed in college and beyond. I started school with two groups of people: a student organization for leadership and a group of misfit college students who just wanted to do drugs. Unfortunately, none of those people genuinely looked out for me or told me that I needed to change my direction of how I should study/live life. Some of them were good people in general but they were selfish to a degree. I did a lot of community service when I wasn't smoking, but those people I did service with wouldn't hit me up or include me in their social activities. I felt like an outcast from time to time because I didn't know who really wanted to be my friend.

That student organization I was a part of last year required a 3.0 to maintain affiliation which I couldn't achieve so I had to quit over the summer in an email to my organization coordinator. I didn't tell anyone in the organization that I was quitting unless they asked me. Word got around, and when I came back from summer break some of them confronted me about it and harassed me on the spot for quitting. The entire summer break I was reclusive and depressed about screwing up school so badly that I couldn't sleep for days at a time. I still can't get some of these thoughts out of my head. The fact that some of my colleagues would turn on me like that made me a very cold person this past semester so I just focused on grades and the future. It has helped somewhat as well as cutting certain people out of my life.

I'm now a sophomore this spring semester and it is going to be even more difficult. I switched my major from bio pre-health to engineering, and I brought my GPA up to a 2.45. I know you are probably stressed about not getting it up to a 3.0, but quite honestly you should be focused about staying in school, meeting the right people, and getting in touch with academic advisors so that they help you stay on track to graduate successfully. They have most likely dealt with your case so many times that it is routine, but if you have to bail out of your scholarship, that is just gonna have to be a consequence your gonna have to take and live with.

In terms of school life, you probably know how to do this already but need to put it into practice: start a regimen of productivity and socialization. Go to your classes, do homework everyday, study the chapters covered in lecture ahead of time, go to tutor rooms for help on solving problems, and definitely talk to your professors. Those little things are the difference between being an average student and being a good student.

Lastly, I would be honest with your mom about your situation. She may get upset but if she understands everything, it will be better that way. She does not want to see you fail if she feels like she could support you more. Communication is everything in college.

Good luck to you and always keep your goals in focus.
 
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I just finished up my first semester of college with a 1.76 GPA (and it will get even lower if I don't make up a math final that still won't bring me anywhere close to passing the class) and I haven't told a single person in my family yet. When they ask me how school is/how my grades are, I just him them with "Alright."
I spent all of the first semester just BSing with my suitemates that I just automatically clicked with. A couple of them are heavy smokers, and I used to smoke once in a while in High School so I spent the first month and a half pretty much in a state of never being sober. I skipped class all of the time, but made sure to get the notes from a girl that I quickly became friends with who had the same schedule as me.
I hadn't even handed in more than two assignments across the board until the last two weeks prior to finals.
mean.gif

My single mom is working herself, quite literally, into an early grave to pay for tuition and keep herself afloat/give me everything that she can (I don't ask for much, I buy my own sneakers/clothes/games/etc. with money that my family tosses me occasionally/during holidays. I'd maybe squeeze her for a $20 here and there to make up on something I want to buy like 3 times a year) and I am letting her down tremendously by not putting in an equal effort.
I need to finish the year with a 3.0 GPA to keep my scholarship and stay enrolled in the School of Math program and even if I do everything possible (somehow receive a 4.0), it still won't be possible for me to get where I need to be by summer vacation. I've been avoiding thinking about it, but when I do; I start to stress.
WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO?!
Felt good to get that all out in words.
Dam bruh,these feels
frown.gif


Mines not as serious I failed a class in cc. I feel bad bc my moms doing the same thing

I feel horrible but I'm bout to put in work this semester no bs'in
 
I think I'm kinda having suicidal thoughts... Like throughout the day I'll just be thinking about how much better it'd for everyone if I was just gone and how I don't know if I'm about this struggle.
 
I just finished up my first semester of college with a 1.76 GPA (and it will get even lower if I don't make up a math final that still won't bring me anywhere close to passing the class) and I haven't told a single person in my family yet. When they ask me how school is/how my grades are, I just him them with "Alright."
I spent all of the first semester just BSing with my suitemates that I just automatically clicked with. A couple of them are heavy smokers, and I used to smoke once in a while in High School so I spent the first month and a half pretty much in a state of never being sober. I skipped class all of the time, but made sure to get the notes from a girl that I quickly became friends with who had the same schedule as me.
I hadn't even handed in more than two assignments across the board until the last two weeks prior to finals.
mean.gif

My single mom is working herself, quite literally, into an early grave to pay for tuition and keep herself afloat/give me everything that she can (I don't ask for much, I buy my own sneakers/clothes/games/etc. with money that my family tosses me occasionally/during holidays. I'd maybe squeeze her for a $20 here and there to make up on something I want to buy like 3 times a year) and I am letting her down tremendously by not putting in an equal effort.
I need to finish the year with a 3.0 GPA to keep my scholarship and stay enrolled in the School of Math program and even if I do everything possible (somehow receive a 4.0), it still won't be possible for me to get where I need to be by summer vacation. I've been avoiding thinking about it, but when I do; I start to stress.
WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO?!
Felt good to get that all out in words.
Dam bruh,these feels
frown.gif


Mines not as serious I failed a class in cc. I feel bad bc my moms doing the same thing

I feel horrible but I'm bout to put in work this semester no bs'in
Damn I know this feeling mane
 
i hate the world i live in 
im tired of the **** i keep hearing about my generation
i left high school to go to job corp because i didnt do **** in school
i ended up graduating before my class
been out of school for 6 months still dont have a job
got fired from six flags two days after working
trying to go to college but still not able to study for act
i was feeln this broad i wanted since 10th grade but never made a move and i still cant stop thinking about her
for some time i disclaimed my brother after we had a fight
i feel my mom is disapointed in my because she never got to see none of her kids walk across the stage
i almost got arrested two days after i turned 18 (dec 16) 
i stole my moms van to go pick up my friend
at a point in time things have gotten so bad between my brother i had thoughts of offing him 
freshman year i tried to off myself
ive been solo since i left regular school
i really feel only have (1) friend
felt like i havent done anything this past year
i believe my childhood ended at 7 years old
have 6 months figure out what im going to do or i wont have a place to stay
i dont think im smart enough to work my dream job

Everything you've just said described my life when i was your age (i dropped out at 16). Give it time to mature out, things will look up once you start working my g.
 
-I battle with depression
-I don't think I can love, I always tend to push people away.
-When I've tried to let people get close I always end up regretting it.
-Not having my father in my life and seeing everything that my mother had to do for us to make it really ****s with me.
-I'm starting to realize that the relationship I've had with my mother hasn't been what I thought it was and I don't really have an interest in talking to her when she calls. I'll answer but she normally talks the whole time and I just sit there. I never grew up around my grandmother and we don't talk much but when we do I enjoy it more than talking to anybody else even if we don't about anything important.
-I'm graduating from college in May and I don't really know what's gonna happen after that but I tend to have doubts on my future success.
 
One more...
My ex-gf is visiting on Friday and booked a hotel room for us. She makes about 1/4 of what I make a month and I'm still making her pay for half the hotel room even though I'm taking her best friend to dinner tomorrow night.
I'm thinking about getting to the hotel first and laying out rose petals on the floor leading up to the bed and on the bed on some valentines day type steez even though I know she already told me she was going to be waiting for me in lingerie with a bottle of Hennessy for me. I want to make her even more obsessed with me than she already is so she doesn't see anyone else but I will not start dating her again because I feel like I can smash other chicks easily.


Pics and selfish bro od
 
Famb. Ok... two main things here:

I can tell you're a good dude because you actually care. I've seen people be happy with 1.7 GPA's, even though that's BARELY scraping by. My first semester at LSU, I BS'd to the MAX. I did much worse than you. After you get those grades, it all settles in. You need to get your act together. I just recently stopped smoking altogether. It isn't worth all the extra BS that comes with it. After graduating from Tulane University last May and looking for jobs, it just got in the way of the process. Clear your head and focus on school. It's ok to smoke here and there, have a drink or whatever, but don't let it interfere with ANYTHING. Once it does, you're fxxxxng up.

Your mom sounds like a nice woman. She's paying your tuition. I wish my mother paid my tuition for me. You should feel privileged famb, real talk. Nothing will make her more proud than hearing her baby boy is killing the grades in college. Get those grades up and share them with her. Go tell her that you struggled your first semester and that you feel horrible because she's busting her hump. Promise her that you'll bring them up because you feel she deserves that and more. Trust me, that'll make you push even harder, and you won't even feel forced. You'll WANT to do it. 

Good luck with errythang famb.
You have no idea how much I appreciated this famb. I want to rep you a million times, but I'm over my limit at the moment
laugh.gif
.

I haven't been able to sleep at night since I've seen my grades, and it's driving me into a state of light insanity and depression. I really, truly needed that fam.
Understood 
laugh.gif
 .. just tryna help out son. I've been there. It's more common than you think, but you don't wanna make a habit of it.
 
-I feel great, most content with myself I've ever been
-I don't want her back, but I think about her constantly. Doesn't affect any aspect of my life really, she was just a quality person and I miss her. I want to regain her trust as a genuine friend
-I treat ratchets like ratchets, and I feel bad sometimes
-I wish I didn't think i'm as much the **** as I think I am now. Internally it slows my improvement, and I'm currently out of shape.
-There's this client at work, older white lady that is a straight ***** to me (and everyone really) and I just smile and take it in stride. I wanna have rough anal sex with her.
-29 but I act like i'm 24, I'm intent on playing maturity catch up this year by 30.
-alot of my stunted growth to this point was from depression from my previous job. ruined opportunities and relationships. Made me cling to the good things I did have in life which pushed them away.


Don't stay in a mentally stressing situation longer than you need to, it ruins your life more than you know.
 
- I'm a music snob. I think it effects my life negatively :rofl: But I love music too much not to be. If someone plays a song I don't approve of, or is a fan of an artist I don't like, I judge them negatively. I feel like due to the type of hip hop I listen to I don't think like a regular person, and feels like it gives me some kind of ego/persona where I think I'm better than most people mentally. IDK if any of this even makes sense :rofl: I guess what I'm tryin to say is I feel like BDKMV by Kendrick (GKMC in general) has more to offer me than interacting with most human beings.

-I'm good at talking to people I think. I have worked in sales at best buy for 5 years, my job requires me to conversate with strangers on a daily basis. But I tend to judge a lot of people without even truly knowing them poorly.

-I have no idea how to feel about losing my ex. (Christmas family story) We talked on the phone Thursday night, at first things were going fine, and we were having a completely normal conversation. More or less what I inquire from that is that she doesn't want us to be done, she wants to see me, but can't even attempt to be friends with me because her family hates me so much and if they found out how angry they would be. From day 1 her family has been crap to me, and she acknowledged it and said she wouldn't let what they say or do get in the way. Guess that doesn't matter now.

-I really want to go off on her about siding with her mom, and list off all the things her alcoholic/pot head mother has done to her that have negatively effected her, but I'm being the bigger person and letting it go. Just hoping I find someone better soon. I seriously need to step up my confidence game at talking to random females :smh:
I know she has many issues though. I know I'm better off. I just miss her, and randomly will have an image pop in my head of a time with her. It aint cool :lol:

-I'm not depressed, I'm just.... I don't know how to even explain it. Worried? I have no idea what I want to do with my life and I'm 25 years old. For the past year I've been holding on to this pipe dream of starting a t-shirt company similar to random objects and expanding. But I need to be realistic, that isn't gonna happen. I've thought about trying to get into personal training, but the people I know who have done it say it's not that great. I need to go back to school, but I really don't know what I want to do. I need to get out of best buy.

-I spend entirely too much money on :pimp:, I'm literally just burning money. But I don't know how to stop. For the past 2 years, it has always been there for me. Something about it just always makes me feel better. I feel like Cudi on 'Marijuana.' "Always have my back" It's a sad thing to say, but kinda true. But at least I don't really drink anymore. And I still work out. But I really need to stop burning.
 
My girl got a abortion friday. We just couldn't afford/handle another kid. It doesn't affect me at all tho but she was kinda sad at first. Is it wrong that I dont really gaf? I just feel like the better decision was made, selfish or not.
 
I have hang ups on being Black. Not on my image per say more on my actions and choices. The whole doctor vs football player thing.

I have a terrible attitude and it takes days or weeks for me to chill. When one person upsets me, I usually cut off the world.

I shouldve wifed my bf. I was scared of my inexperience. Now we dont even speak and I miss her something serious. Imagine someone you can be damn near completely open with.

I actually came close to put hands on her, which is why I cut her off completely. I love the internet for the ability to control relationships. At any given point I can come and go without answering to anyone. Less of a time investment.

I feel like I'm close to being perfect and it rubs ppl the wrong way.

College was nothing how i thought it would be. Its my one regret, not for going but for choosing the institution im at.
 
my friend was drunk the other day fighting with his bro and accidently hit me in the eye. i immediately swung on him hard as hell he dropped, i don't know if he was sleeping. i just turned around and walked away to blow a square. he was black out drunk and doesn't know it was me. :lol: oh well.

some of my room mates friends annoy the hell out of me, they are always over. but like dude said above, just constantly pushing their limits. it's not the first time i hit one. me and my boy stomped my room mates boy unconscious because he drunkenly pissed in the corner of the room and we asked him to clean it up and didn't so he got stomped out, threw him on the couch, kicked him to wake him up in the morning when he was sober to drive and told him never come back. he had no idea what happened but eff him.

i love my job, but damn the money sucks. i'm getting a second job just so i can have a little more money to clown around.

i've got a court ordered chemichal eval, i've dogged three so far because i would have failed them.

i'm on EBT because i was out of a job for 5 days and figured i'd never be able to get it again. i lied told them i was broke and got it and still get 200 a month. i just wanted to go grocery shopping for free and make some fire food.

my daughter is 6 and never met my dad. he wanted to meet her the other day and i dogged him. just didn't even bother showing up or calling to cancel. i didn't see him for 10 years, the only reason i talk to him now is because i woke up from a coma in the hospital and he was there. so we go to lunch like once every 3 months. she's never even asked if i have a dad.

i'm about to jack one of my room mates tall boys in a second. :lol: i'll pay him back next time i get beer.
 
my friend was drunk the other day fighting with his bro and accidently hit me in the eye. i immediately swung on him hard as hell he dropped, i don't know if he was sleeping. i just turned around and walked away to blow a square. he was black out drunk and doesn't know it was me. :lol: oh well.
some of my room mates friends annoy the hell out of me, they are always over. but like dude said above, just constantly pushing their limits. it's not the first time i hit one. me and my boy stomped my room mates boy unconscious because he drunkenly pissed in the corner of the room and we asked him to clean it up and didn't so he got stomped out, threw him on the couch, kicked him to wake him up in the morning when he was sober to drive and told him never come back. he had no idea what happened but eff him.
i love my job, but damn the money sucks. i'm getting a second job just so i can have a little more money to clown around.
i've got a court ordered chemichal eval, i've dogged three so far because i would have failed them.
i'm on EBT because i was out of a job for 5 days and figured i'd never be able to get it again. i lied told them i was broke and got it and still get 200 a month. i just wanted to go grocery shopping for free and make some fire food.
my daughter is 6 and never met my dad. he wanted to meet her the other day and i dogged him. just didn't even bother showing up or calling to cancel. i didn't see him for 10 years, the only reason i talk to him now is because i woke up from a coma in the hospital and he was there. so we go to lunch like once every 3 months. she's never even asked if i have a dad.
i'm about to jack one of my room mates tall boys in a second. :lol: i'll pay him back next time i get beer.


*reads post*

*looks at avy*

oh....
 
avy is old as hell. anyways just because you drink doesn't mean you have to destroy stuff and be a wild animal.
 
when it comes down to it, the only unconditional love I have is for my seed.


**** EVERYONE else.
 
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