Confessions

While I'm thankful for the fact that I got a roof over my head and clothes on my back, and I appreciate my family & my small circle of friends...I feel like my life just goes nowhere in particular and won't go anywhere anytime soon.

Every relationship I get into seems to blow up in my face or I **** it up somehow. I'm even at the point where I'm used to rejection. I don't even get sad/mad about it anymore. I just don't give a ****

I'm stuck at a job with cruddy pay with no signs of possible advancement. I've applied to so many other places but I get turned down every single time. But again I'm used to rejection so I don't get mad about it.

I spend most of my free time at home usually sleeping, exercising, or browsing the internet, rarely do I go out with friends unless it's something not involving the bar or club. Alot of the time they want to go to the bar or go clubbing and I have no interest in that at all(well I don't mind the bar sometimes). Not that kind of social person.


Prolly should be really depressed. I'm not. I'm a little depressed. Mostly just numb to the rest. Kinda just accept my life for what it is and try to make the most out of it.

youre just on cruise control and life is stagnant
 
I do way too much thinking. I finally realize why I fell so hard for this chick, and why it's taking forever for me to move on. Firs time I've let my guard down with a female since my ex 2 years ago CRUSHED my world. I got too close to this one and that's why I'm still stuck on her. Dammit.
 
Thinkin I'm catch in feelings for a co worker. She's smart and pretty and Argentinian... we talk and email alot... i catch her smiling at me across the room a lot.... Must not cross line

Must not cross line...

Musttttt nottttt...
 
Thinkin I'm catch in feelings for a co worker. She's smart and pretty and Argentinian... we talk and email alot... i catch her smiling at me across the room a lot.... Must not cross line

Must not cross line...

Musttttt nottttt...

No, you MUST cross that line!
 
I never said it wasn't my fault. I take full responsibility for everything I did that led to the situation at hand. Not trying to be facetious but that's why pencils have erasers. Maybe my post came out wrong (blame it on me being off the henn and in my feels), but you making a lot of assumptions slime. It's easy to say "you should have had protected sex" or whatever....but c'mon let's be serious. If you using rubbers with your main chick you been with for YEARS, then Idk wtf y'all think y'all doing. I said we been on this level since 2011, why wouldn't I attempt to have a heart to heart with her? This not a lil random, this MY *****. You make decisions together in a relationship right? You damn right I'm upset she not going about it in a timely manner, if we talked and supposed to be on one accord about it then what's the hold up? the price only goes up the longer you wait and I'm the one that's paying for it..That makes me selfish? Working backwards? Working backwards would be bringing a kid into a potentially dysfunctional situation in which the ppl who actually have to take care of it are not prepared for. It's easy to say what could/should have been done, but hindsight is 20/20 and we in the situation now so.....Appreciate your perspective
though [emoji]128175[/emoji]


Already fam, i see it now. Maybe i jumped to fast at another brother tryna get over. I see thats not the case my G. My appologies fam. Im with you tho there is no reason to bring a child into a bad sitaution. And your correct, how many people still strap up to hit they main? None! But in ur case hit or miss if u tryna leave or have intentions on leaving due to BS. I know how the game go, it may nit be that easy. I just wish u couldve made/planned ur esacape earlier bro. But lets fast forward this entire situation. If she waits too long then its nothing that can be done but to fix the ongoing problems. Just prepare for the worse and hope for the best. Anything broken can be fixed or replaced.. EASY!
 
Been feeling depressed as f latly and last night took some valium, which I havnt taken for a few weeks for some reason and I immediately felt happy again. Strange, I only took it cos I needa to chill but if its gonna effect my mood imam keep taking em, best nights sleep when I do take em.
 
Been feeling depressed as f latly and last night took some valium, which I havnt taken for a few weeks for some reason and I immediately felt happy again. Strange, I only took it cos I needa to chill but if its gonna effect my mood imam keep taking em, best nights sleep when I do take em.

feeling depressed as of late an actual depression are different..........

i mean you have nothing to really be depressed about per se, correct?
 
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feeling depressed as of late an actual depression are different..........

i mean you have nothing to really be depressed about per se, correct?

Not really, just money issues which I always resolve, really aint that bad. I couldn't pin point why I felt so weird latly, guess my body relys on valium after taking it for a few years now.
 
Not really, just money issues which I always resolve, really aint that bad. I couldn't pin point why I felt so weird latly, guess my body relys on valium after taking it for a few years now.

yea i have random days where im just totally off

literally just wake up with a bad day, like fml
 
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yea i have random days where im just totally off

literally just wake up with a bad day, like fml

Yeh bro, we been having the same feelings going on latly. Fed up feeling for no real good reason. Like right now, im at work and all I wanna do is make up a excuse to go home and have a few hennys and surf the web and chill. By myself
 
I realize i'm pretty manipulative, and get away with the easier guided people. I say and ask things in a manner where I can control the outcome. But it frustrates me when it doesn't work with a higher level thinker. I don't even realize i'm doing it sometimes, I want to stop.

Do this when people want to talk to me but I really don't feel like talking so the convo can end quicker.
 
Ever so often, I purposely forget to pay for my pizza and other junk food from the local Little Caesar's. The way they have it set up just lends itself to getting away with it. You order, then walk down a little aisle to pay for the food, and pick up the food at the pay counter. If you order something that's not "hot-n-ready" then 20 minutes later or so, you go back to where you ordered & leave quietly with your food that's just come off the belt.

I haven't paid for my food in months & I do eat from there often.
 
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Ever so often, I purposely forget to pay for my pizza and other junk food from the local Little Caesar's. The way they have it set up just lends itself to getting away with it. You order, then walk down a little aisle to pay for the food, and pick up the food at the pay counter. If you order something that's not "hot-n-ready" then 20 minutes later or so, you go back to where you ordered & leave quietly with your food that's just come off the belt.

I haven't paid for my food in months & I do eat from there often.

I cant say I blame you, I would too. I often buy bulk items from supermarket and put them in my bags and walk through the check out and just say theres 10 of the same item in the bag when I really know theres for example 18 instead. Or if I self serve il only scan half the stuff and just chuck the rest in the bag and checkout.
 
I cant say I blame you, I would too. I often buy bulk items from supermarket and put them in my bags and walk through the check out and just say theres 10 of the same item in the bag when I really know theres for example 18 instead. Or if I self serve il only scan half the stuff and just chuck the rest in the bag and checkout.
Living is expensive. Gotta get what you can.
 
I miss my mom so much. I wake up everyday and still talk to her smabout just little things. I feel empty inside. I have honestly stopped giving any damns about myself. I have been eating like there is no tomorrow. Just been getting fatter and fatter,yet I still don't care. Idk if its because im depressed. Tbh, I somtetimes have had suicidal thoughts but not enough to where I would do it. Idk I am just trying to deal with it day by day. Also I just wanna let it all out and just tell my friends how I really feel but I don't think they would understand me.because they haven't experienced what I am going through. I feel really lonely at times. somedays I dont even know what I am feeling anymore. idk...
 
I miss my mom so much. I wake up everyday and still talk to her smabout just little things. I feel empty inside. I have honestly stopped giving any damns about myself. I have been eating like there is no tomorrow. Just been getting fatter and fatter,yet I still don't care. Idk if its because im depressed. Tbh, I somtetimes have had suicidal thoughts but not enough to where I would do it. Idk I am just trying to deal with it day by day. Also I just wanna let it all out and just tell my friends how I really feel but I don't think they would understand me.because they haven't experienced what I am going through. I feel really lonely at times. somedays I dont even know what I am feeling anymore. idk...

Im sorry bout your loss mate. That's tough. Your just going through the griefing process, totally natural. And trust me when I say this, youd be surprised what you friends have been through and even more so, what theyl go through to make sure your ok. Even if you've never opened up to anyone of them, if you just tell them your feeling down after she passed and I dunno who to turn to, theyl most likely jump through hoops to make it easier for you if they are actual friends. Give it a go
 
I show love, never get the same out of people. When it's dark out, you realize who really is down for you. I can help you out during your time of need, but you go ghost when I need a shoulder to lean on. Don't get mad when I look at you like the lame that you are and stop dealing with you. /rant
 
I show love, never get the same out of people. When it's dark out, you realize who really is down for you. I can help you out during your time of need, but you go ghost when I need a shoulder to lean on. Don't get mad when I look at you like the lame that you are and stop dealing with you. /rant

Stop worrying about folks like that, it's freeing.
 
I show love, never get the same out of people. When it's dark out, you realize who really is down for you. I can help you out during your time of need, but you go ghost when I need a shoulder to lean on. Don't get mad when I look at you like the lame that you are and stop dealing with you. /rant

Stop worrying about folks like that, it's freeing.

I'm trying, fam. But it's harder than I thought it would be.
 
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